An Impossible Dilemma: A Psychological Thriller Novel (12 page)

I sliced the ham and transferred the macaroni from the oven to the table. Everyone got stuck in, including Emily who had a hearty portion followed by a heaped bowl of ice-cream with sprinkles.

Afterwards, I ran her a bath and read to her for half an hour before tucking her up in bed.

I found Stephanie in the kitchen scrubbing the baked-on cheese off the pasta dish.

“I can finish off, Steph, if you want to go and spend some time with Hector.”

“He’s already left for work.” She placed the dish into the dishwasher. “Did you finish your wine?”

“Almost, look.” I held the glass up to show her.

She wiped her hands on a towel and despite my objections, refilled my glass.

“Okay, thanks. Where’s Frank?” I asked.

“In the snug, watching a war film.”

I screwed my face up. “What should we do then?” I sat down at the table.

“Drink!” She laughed.

My stomach lurched. “I don’t fancy that either.” I shuddered and placed my glass down, knowing I couldn’t possibly take another sip.

“You always used to enjoy a drink, Vic. What’s changed?”

“I don’t feel like one. Plus, I’m only just managing to get through the days as it is, without getting all emotional on alcohol.”

“You’re doing fine, Vic. You amaze me, you really do. I was saying the same to Hector only this morning.”

“Talking about Hector, what’s going on with you two, Steph? You seem to get on well and you obviously want to be with him.”

“It’s complicated.” She plonked down on the seat opposite.

“What? More complicated than my life?” I gave her a sidelong glance.

She took a deep breath before continuing. “We got on great for two years, and although he’s young, I thought he was the love of my life. Until one night he shattered my illusions and made me see we couldn’t be together.”

“How? Something terrible must have happened for you to throw two whole years away. And if it was so bad, why are you even seeing him at all?”

“I don’t want to tell you. I’d hate you to treat him differently.” She downed her full glass of wine in one gulp.

“Stephanie!” I laughed. “I forgot what a classy bird you are.”

She belched loudly. “I know.”

Then we were both in hysterics. It felt so good to laugh. For a short time I forgot all about my troubles and the huge belly laughs replaced the continuous gnawing pain in my stomach.

Sitting down on the dining chair, tears streamed down my face. “Oh, that’s better,” I said, gasping for breath.

“I love seeing you laugh, Vic.”

I nodded and smiled. “So tell me, missus. What happened with Hector in Spain?”

Her eyes narrowed, as she shook her head. “I can’t.”

“Yes you can. I won’t treat him any different.”

“Promise?”

I promise you.”

“Okay, oh man.” She took a deep breath. “He beat me up.” She winced as she waited for my reaction.

“Oh my God!” I said, my mouth falling open. I’d promised not to treat him differently but I knew every time I looked at him now I would now see a coward and a bully.

She nodded. “We’d gone out for dinner one night and had a wonderful time. We met up with one of his old mates in the bar afterwards and all got on really well. But when we got home Hector went mad. He accused me of flirting with his mate and he went crazy,” she shook her head, close to tears.

“Oh, Steph.” I moved to wrap my arms around her shoulders, now shuddering as she cried.

“I ended up in hospital. Had to have micro surgery for a cut on my arm—apparently the laceration was only a fraction of a centimetre away from a main artery.” She lifted her sleeve and showed me a nasty three inch scar on her right arm, between her wrist and elbow.

“Fuck, Steph. How did he do that?” I said, horrified.

“He threw a vase at me. I held my arms up to cover my face and luckily this was my only real injury.”

“I can’t believe Hector could hurt you. He seems so lovely and gentle.”

“He is, had been for two years beforehand. He’d never even raised his voice at me. But something caused him to lose his head, big time. I don’t even know why, and neither does he. He swears he’ll never harm me again and I believe he means it. But if he wasn’t in control last time, how can I trust he won’t do it again?”

I nodded. “I’m shocked. You must have been terrified.”

“I was. Now drink up.” She’d recovered her poise and waved the wine bottle at me.

“I’m okay, thanks. You have it.” I truly couldn’t face another drop.

She emptied the last of the bottle into her glass.

“Are you scared of him still?”

“No, not scared. He’s lovely and he’s given up his job and his life to come here to try and win me back, but I don’t want to make things too easy for him.” She took a mouthful and added. “Besides, deep down, I have this thread of mistrust, as if I’ve glimpsed deep inside him and seen the violence he’s hiding. Can I ever really trust him again?”

Considering my activities two weeks ago, I couldn’t bring myself to answer her question. I too had a thread of violence hidden under my shattered surface.

Chapter 15

“Hello again, Emily. How are you today?” Doctor Wilson asked.

“I’m all better,” Emily said.

“You look as though you’re feeling better.” His well-groomed eyebrows rose as he scrutinised her over the top of his glasses.

“She’s been a lot better for a while now. I’m not sure if you heard, but my husband passed away six weeks ago.”

“No, I hadn’t. I’m sorry, Mrs Lyons, that must be hard for you, with everything.” He glanced at Emily and sighed.

“But that’s just it. She’s been better since around the same time—she’s even gone back to school.” It took an enormous effort to keep my voice as normal as possible, even though my delight and surprise was genuine. I’d gone over and over what I was going to say and decided to behave exactly as I would if the episode with Shane had never happened.

“I’m very pleased to hear it. I must admit though, I’m quite astounded.”

“Could it be as Emily said, Doctor. Could she be
better?”

“I’m sorry, Mrs Lyons, but that’s quite impossible. We’ll do some more tests to see what’s happening. It’ll be a full day again, I’m afraid.”

“No problem.” I smiled, my heart racing. I had no real choice but to let him go through all his tests again.

“Can I play with the dolly?”

“Not now, sweetheart. The doctor needs to do some more tests like last time. Do you remember?”

Emily nodded, tears welling. We’d talked about the possibility of more tests and the pain it could involve. “And can we go to McDonalds after?” This had been my bribe.

“We can, but only if you be a very good girl.”

Emily sailed through the day. This time she knew what to expect. She didn’t cry like the first time and I praised her bravery. I promised her I would buy her a toy if she lay still for the lumbar puncture, which seemed to work wonders.

Afterwards, Emily stayed with Diane, the receptionist, and I went back through to Doctor Wilson.

“Ah, Mrs Lyons. Come in and take a seat.” He smiled.

My heart beat fast against my ribs and I dug my nails into my palms, desperate to appear calm.

“I had a quick look the scans and reflex test, results and Emily
is
showing signs of improvement. I must say I’m shocked by these initial results. I’ve never seen such a turnaround in a patient before.”

“So she is better?”

“She is responding positively to something. We’ll have to wait for the results from the lumbar puncture which will give us a more definite answer.”

“When will that be?”

“I’ll give you a call once the results are back.”

He stood up. “I don’t want to put a dampener on Emily’s apparent remission. However, I need to reiterate there is no possible way she can get better.

“I know, doctor.”

“She seems better right now, but this won’t last. I want you to be prepared for that.” He ushered me toward the door.

“I understand. Don’t worry.”

***

After filling up on a Happy Meal, Emily ran up the ladder and down the slide several times without stopping. Not like our last visit when she hadn’t the energy to climb the ladder even once.

My heart twisted at the memory. Jonathan and I had been devastated at the news we’d just received. Not one of my happiest memories

Later, strolling up and down the aisles of the toyshop, a continual ringing followed us, getting louder. I glanced around to see who was allowing their phone to go unanswered. I realised the ringing was coming from Emily.

“Emily. What is that?”

“What?”

“The ringing!”

“Oh.” She looked away, her eyes wide, and a worried expression crossed her face.

“Emily?” I held my hand out.

She pulled out an expensive-looking mobile phone from her jacket pocket and handed it to me.

“Where did you get this from?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you lying to me?”

“No, Mummy.”

“Remember what you promised only last week? After you stole Uncle David’s watch?”

David and Lynn were our neighbours and close family friends. Emily took the watch when we’d called in for a visit, and I’d found it the next morning in the laundry basket.

“That I wouldn’t tell lies.” She sulked.

“So?”

“My friend took it from the lady with the dolly.”

“Diane? At the hospital?”

She nodded.

“Come on, back to the car.”

“I haven’t got my toy yet.”

“No toy today, missy. In fact, nothing for you until you stop this stealing.”

She began to cry.

“I’m not going to change my mind, so you might as well stop that noise. You can apologise to Diane too. We’re going back right back now.”

“No, Mummy, please, I’m sorry.”

“We have to. She’s probably already noticed her phone’s missing. I bet she’s even called the police.”

Emily took a sharp breath. “The police?”

I nodded. I didn’t want to upset her, but this had to stop. She had taken lots of little things in the past few weeks, including my mum’s St Christopher pendant from my jewellery box.  I found the chain knotted around the neck of her favourite doll. Afterwards, she swore black was white she hadn’t taken it.

We walked back into the Neurology department. Diane was still on reception.

“Hello, Emily, I didn’t expect to see you again today,” she said with a smile.

“Emily.” I gave her a nudge.

Diane looked at me, her eyebrows drawn together in puzzlement.

“Emily wants to say something, don’t you, Em.”

She nodded.

“Okay.” Diane clasped her hands.

“I’m sorry,” Emily whispered.

Diane smiled. “What for, sweetie?” She glanced at me, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Your phone.”

Diane’s smile vanished as she turned back to Emily. What about my phone? Have you seen it?”

Emily nodded again.

I reached into my bag and handed the phone to Diane. “Emily took it. I’m sorry.”

Diane didn’t say anything, but judging by her expression, she was obviously annoyed.

Emily began crying again.

“That was very naughty, Emily. I don’t know why you took it, but I’ve been very nice to you haven’t I?”

Em, still crying, nodded again.

My stomach was in knots. I longed to pull her into my arms and calm her tears, but I couldn’t. No matter how harsh it seemed I’d come to the end of my rope.  This had to stop

“Did you call the police?” I winked at Diane.

“Yes I did, and they are looking for a very naughty person who takes other people’s things.”

Emily began to wail. “I’m sorry. Please don’t tell the police.”

“If I agree, you must promise not to do anything like this again.”

“I promise,” Emily sobbed.

“Okay, I’ll let you off, just this once. But if you do it again, I will tell them.”

“Go and stand at the door a second, Em,” I said.

She walked to the swinging door and stood waiting for me, looking sweet and innocent. I wanted to laugh out loud.

“Thanks Diane. I don’t know what’s got into her lately, but this isn’t the first time she’s done something like this. Hopefully, between us, we’ve frightened her enough to put an end to it.”

“Hope so, love. Thanks for bringing my phone back, and good luck.”

***

Stephanie arrived home from the clinic at the same time as we pulled into the drive. We’d started taking appointments again and had been getting a steady stream of animals through the door.

We stepped into the hallway as Frank came down the stairs. He looked pale.

“Are you okay, Frank? Have you been overdoing it?”

He shook his head. “I’m fine. You’re late.”

I realised he’d been worrying.

“It went well at the hospital. The tests show that Em’s a bit better than she was. The doctor is puzzled by the change in her—he said he’s never witnessed anything like this before. We’re waiting for the results of the lumbar puncture to find out exactly what’s going on.”

“That’s fantastic news, Vic.” Steph ruffled Emily’s hair.

Frank sighed and sat down heavily on the sofa. I bent and kissed the top of his head. “Don’t worry. Everything’s okay,” I whispered.

“Can I play outside, Mummy?”

“I suppose so.” I agreed in a stern tone, not wanting her to think all was forgiven.

In the garden, I pulled her trike out of the shed. Once I was back inside I told Steph and Frank about the mobile phone.

“I wonder what’s going on in her head,” Steph said.

“Got no idea. Today she said her friend made her steal the phone. I hope the counsellor can get somewhere with her. She has her second appointment tomorrow.”

“She never stole anything before Jon died, did she?”

I shook my head. “No—never. I wish I could help her.”

“She’ll be okay, Vic. You’ll see.” Steph grasped my fingers.

“Hopefully, after today, she won’t do it again. I tried a new tack with her and refused to buy her the toy I’d promised. Then I got her to apologise to the receptionist, who frightened her with talk of the police. I felt awful, but she can’t be stealing every time she lays her eyes on something she fancies. I’m getting paranoid about taking her anywhere.”

“She’ll stop. It’s obviously a cry for help,” Frank said.

“I hope so,” I said.

“Are you okay, Vic?” Steph asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“I heard you being sick again this morning. You should see doctor,” she said. “Here you are making sure everyone else is all right but you’re not taking very good care of yourself.”

“Just nerves, that’s all. I was dreading going to the hospital.”

“I can come with you next time, lass.”

“Thanks, Frank. I’d like that. How were things here today?”

“Good, Alex is a belting little worker—He goes like a machine. Hector’s a good help as well,” Frank said.

Hector had moved in a couple of weeks ago and had been helping Alex around the farm in payment for room and board.

Frank enjoyed getting back out on the farm every day. Now he went with Hector in the mornings to feed the animals while I took Em to school and opened the clinic with Steph. This set-up suited me fine. However, if I never saw another pig as long as I lived, it would be too soon.

On the whole, we all worked well together, given the circumstances. We were a family, of sorts. All thrown together to make the most of a bad situation. A massive empty hole remained where Jonathan should be. I missed him so much. I tried to fill each waking moment, scared I would break down if I allowed myself to think about him for too long.

I glanced around as Steph left the room. “You looked terrible when I came in, Frank. Are you all right now?”

“I was worried. Wondering where you’d got to, and imagining all kinds of things. I’d hoped you wouldn’t go.”

“I thought about cancelling the appointment, but thought it would seem strange. I figured at least this way, even if they had questions, the condition is so rare I could act normally. Well, as normal as I would if … You know?”

“Yeah, lass, you’re right. They’ll probably question the initial test results before anything else.”

I nodded. “What other conclusion could they come to?”

We hadn’t spoken of what happened that awful night, not after the pigs had devoured all the evidence, and Shane’s clothes and shoes were burned in the incinerator.

Then, one morning, as he and Hector were doing the rounds, Frank noticed teeth and clumps of gingery hair on the floor of the sty. He’d feigned illness and convinced Hector to take him back to the house.

I’d almost died of fright when Frank called me at the clinic. It never occurred to me that the pigs wouldn’t be able to digest everything. We waited until Hector had gone into work and Steph was tied up at the clinic before we pegged it over there and did a full sweep of the sty. We put the hair and teeth into a snap-lock bag and buried it in the middle of the paddock.

I jumped out of my skin as Steph appeared in the doorway.

“I’m going to pick Hector up from the pub. Shall I get something for dinner while I’m out?” she said, shrugging into her jacket.

“Sounds good to me. I’m knackered—I don’t fancy cooking.” I glanced at Frank for his thoughts. He rarely ate takeaways.

“I don’t mind. Whatever you girls decide is fine by me.”

“Don’t get anything for Em. She had a burger after the hospital.”

“Didn’t you get one?” Steph asked, a strange expression on her face.

“I wasn’t hungry.”