An Eye For An Eye (The Club #11) (5 page)

Eight

LORAND

She definitely wasn’t an idiot.

She was blind.

She was perfect.

She was mine.

And I wasn’t being honest with her.
Shame heated my face because when, not if she found out, this would all be over faster than a car wreck on the 35 running through Austin. Tossing the frozen vegetables in my general direction, she stalked off the bed on shaking legs as much as she could on her own pushing my helpful hands away. Convincing her that she was mine would be an act in futility. I wanted her, but factors out of my control made sure it would never happen. Jude had always been a feisty thing. It was part of my draw to her and why I could never, might never be able to stay away from her.

I followed her into the kitchen now slamming various items on the counter and pulling food out of the refrigerator.

“Hungry?” Standing out of her way in case she wanted to throw more things, I leaned against the wall, my arms crossed as I asked her what she was doing.

“Yes. No. You never spoke to me in all this time and now….” She waved her arms wide, “This!” She leans against the counter, her fingers white and rigid gripping along the edge, eyes closed.

“I don’t mean to be difficult, but sharing…this is new to me. I’ve never had to explain myself to anyone before.”

“I know. You haven’t said much in all the time you’ve been here with me. Not much has changed except now I have a name and a voice to go with the complete stranger taking over my kitchen and now my life.” She’s pouting, and I don’t feel like doing this tonight. Rehashing the past is brutal and painful to my male ego.

“Jude don’t be a brat.” Even blind her eyebrow rose in challenge.

“You try going through life scared shitless because you have to rely on all your other senses and your intuition which apparently just failed me in the friend department. I’m a ship without any fucking sails or navigation ready to crash into something that’s likely to rip me apart.”

I take a step towards her. “So let me guide you from the storm. I know I’ve fucked things up, but it wasn’t my intent to hurt you. Far from it, but life has a way of complicating things.”

“Is that your excuse now?
Complications
?”

“No. I’d much rather make sure you’re okay after what happened tonight at the club.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, I do because I found you there. Why were you there and with Ella?”

“Why were you there?” She wants to ask me if I was there with someone. The look is written all over her face even if she can’t see it herself.

“Jude.”

“Please don’t placate me, Lorand. Why were you there?” Her shoulders slumped looking horribly defeated. I wasn’t going to make her suffer needlessly.

“I was meeting someone.”

“Of course you were.”

“For work purposes. Not a woman which is what you really wanted to know.”

“Unlike me.”

“Yes, well maybe a bit rash letting yourself be tied to the cross, but I won’t hold it against you.”

Defiantly, she raised her head looking at me with soulful dark eyes. “You seemed pretty familiar getting me untied from it.” I crossed the kitchen and cupped my hands on her shoulders squeezing them reassuringly when she brushes my off to turn around.

“I’ve been there before.” I’m under no illusion she’ll let any of this go.

“So…you like that? To tie girls up and do those kinds of things to them?”

Scoffing, I’m appalled she puts me into the same category as that scumbag who attacked her and I paced the kitchen to calm myself. My voice is harsh with disgust. “No, Jude. I don’t like to tie up grown ass women
against
their will, but I do like when they give me
permission
to bring them to the heights of pleasure under
certain
restraints.”

“Oh.” She clearly didn’t understand anything about the lifestyle and I didn’t know if I could do this to her, expose her to it after the horrible things I’d already done.

My jaw hurt from holding back with gritted teeth. None of this was her fault, but now this was out in the open and I felt vulnerable to her because I cared about her. I didn’t like it on the flip side. “The club is a part of who I am. It’s something I have participated in with consenting partners, I like it. Do you get what I’m saying?”

“You say that like…maybe you wanted me there.” She has no clue how badly I wanted her there in that environment.

“I might have thought about it, but it doesn’t matter now because it’s probably something we’ll never do.”

“Why?”

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“Of the company Ella keeps, yes. Of you, no. I guess in a way I just know you wouldn’t take it past a certain point.”

“But that my darling is where you’re wrong. So very wrong. I want to blow past your barriers and go beyond your comfort zone. That’s why I’m partly afraid to tell you everything about me.”

“So take me back. Show me what it can be like.”

“Absolutely not, that’s crazy.”
She’s crazy.
She looks at me as if her eyes would burn right through me. Crazy was one of those female trigger words and I was kicking myself. I should have known better than to use it.

“So I’m not an idiot, but I’m crazy?”
I kind of liked crazy. This kind of crazy could be hot on Jude if I handled it right.

“No you’re absolutely infuriating, stunning and defying at every turn.”
Yes, much better.
I stepped closer to her and see the moment her body realizes I’m there, so close to her like an animal waiting to pounce. The baby fine hairs on the back of her neck rise in goosebumps. “Don’t put words in my mouth just because I’ve been silently bidding my time here.”

“Then you should put that mouth to good use don’t you think?” She is so fucking crazy it turns me on in seconds with her suggestion. Standing behind her I let myself breath in her scent for a moment before laying a soft kiss against her exposed neck.

“It’s a horrible idea, Jude.”

“But I
want
you to do it.”

“You might want that, but I’m not ready for that. Besides you’re trying to top me and I don’t like that.”

“Top?” She tests the word out and I realize she doesn’t have a damn clue what that means, what any of it means.

I am so fucked right now.

“It’s a BDSM thing.”

“BDSM?” Her face softens testing out the letters together. My dick pulsed realizing how much ground there was to possibly cover with this darling girl.

“Didn’t Ella tell you anything?” Standing so close to her was poison whittling away at my self-control.

“Not much beyond experimenting, I’ve read some, but I thought she meant we would be experimenting. Alone. Not with her idiot master.”

Turning her to face me, I use my finger to pick her chin up and look into her eyes, curiously a soft brown. “That’s the whole point of The Club.”

“Uh.”

“Of course she didn’t.” Groaning, I step away from her proximity trying to shake sense into myself because this was all a very bad idea. A very arousing bad idea.

“So tell me.”

Sighing, I leaned into her pulling her to me. “I’d rather show you, but I think you’ve had enough lessons for one night.”

“Lorand.”

“No Jude. I think we’ve had enough excitement for one evening then to be experimenting with that stuff.”

“You mean sex.” The little minx has me wrapped up tight, one more pull of the string and I’m likely to unravel.

“I’m not doing this with you right now. So behave.” I’m trying to shake off the images of Jude up on the cross at another man’s mercy. Forced submission was not what I was into, but explaining it to someone as untried as her would be…much too heady for me to get into right now without some time and distance between the event of today and our history.

Her lips grazed my ear whispering, “But I don’t want to behave.”

“Jude.” My teeth grind.

“Then I’ll just go to the next open Friday night and ask someone else.”
Or maybe time was completely irrelevant? She certainly knew how to push my buttons.

“The fuck you will.”

“Please, Lorand?” She wrapped her arms around my neck pulling my face down to hers and the proximity of her lips was like offering a thirsty man a cold drink in the hot sun. She practically batted her eyelashes at me over those cloudy dark eyes that I loved and I was lost, over the edge and sinking.

Gone.

Done.

Toast.

Nine

JUDE

His hands held me at a safe distance away from his muscular chest I wanted so badly to rub up against. A cat in heat had nothing on how turned on and primed I was for him. His face met mine forehead to forehead. “Take the rest of your clothes off.” He’s growly and tense.

“But?”

“Stop trying to top me, Jude, and do what I said. Now. You want to know what being a part of the club is like then listen with those gorgeous ears of yours instead of trying to see what you can’t with perfect sight.” I swallowed back my apprehension. I’m not afraid of Lorand, but this vocal bossy side of him is completely new and unsettling. My body clenches liking this side of my quiet man.

The counter opposite.

I feel him stand close to me brushing up against me, his fingers grazing along my rib cage to settle on my hip bones pinching. “I’m waiting, beautiful girl.” Sensing this was now or never, I stripped off the rest of my torn dress with panting breaths.

“What next?”

“Don’t be impatient. I’ll tell you what happens next, but first we start with a word.”

“A word? Like a safe word?” I knew the basics of BDSM, since the movie
Fifty Shade of Grey
came out, but I was a little behind on my overall sexual knowledge. Tumblr only goes so far without visually seeing it. It was something like bondage, domination, submission and masochism…some parts were obviously more interesting to me than others.

Lorand was talking and I partially listened, a bad habit of mine when I got tripped up in my inner thoughts. “Jude? Jude?”

“Hmm? I’m listening,” and he caught me.

“No, you’re not, not really–but, you shouldn’t even need to use it with me. I always….” He stopped and I wondered if he was going to mention other women to me, but he doesn’t thankfully because I don’t think I could handle that. “Mouse. That’s your safe word.”

“M-mouse.” I say the word testing it out. “Why mouse?”

Lorand leans into me, his breath harsh against my ear. “Because a mouse is a falcon’s prey.” He speaks as if this should be common knowledge and picks me up to the counter in the kitchen depositing me tenderly on the smooth surface which doesn’t match his edgy behavior. I feel like there is more to the explanation, but when his lips smile against my skin I’m lost to the touch he grants me. Sweet, subtle movements meant to distract me and work wonders on my fractured state of mind.

“Now this will be lesson one.”

“Lesson?”

“Topping again?”

“No. Um, sorry?”

“Don’t apologize. Just listen. Disobedient subs get punished; however, I don’t think we’re anywhere near that kind of dynamic….”
Isn’t that what I’ve been doing all this time with him?
“And you’re barely submissive as it is….” I shut my mouth before I can say anything else that would send him running off and leaving me painfully alone, again. Maybe that’s what he means by punishment? Alone is the last thing I want after tonight, so I let Lorand have his way. He leans me back on the counter and props my legs up and open to him. Exposed as I am, I know he can see everything and we’ve never taken things this far before. His breath hissed and his hands caressed my skin parting me with reverence.

“You are magnificent.” He groaned leaving me mystified at what he’s focused on now. “I wish you could see how pink your lips are down here. Lush, delicate and slick all for me. I bet you taste sweet and tart like your fresh mouth up here.” He’s talking about my pussy and I feel a rush course through me from the neck down. I might be blind but knowing he’s staring at my most private parts leaves my heart and soul defenseless to him. Lorand taps my lips playfully and pushes me down on the counter. His finger pressed my lips open and my teeth part letting him in. He kissed my mouth letting his thick tongue play with mine.

He speaks against my lips. “The first rule is that you don’t get to come until I give you permission. Can you do that?” Open mouthed and panting from his kiss I don’t know what to say, so I nodded yes.

He kisses me again dipping down. I let my fingers touch the base of his skull and with one hand he takes my arms and pushes them above my head holding me still. I should feel claustrophobic. I should feel afraid, but what I feel is an overwhelming sense of being alright after having waited so long for him to take me like this. A part of me locked deep inside acknowledges on some level that this is perfectly acceptable with him. I never wanted this connection with Ella and I lose focus trying to touch the silky fuzz on top of his shaved head.

Laughing between kisses he tells me. “I have a feeling you’re going to be
very bad
at taking directions.”

“You’ve only figured that out just now?” Our lips meet again aligning perfectly in my dark world and I let myself fall over the edge into the abyss of feelings Lorand conjured within me. I’m safe with him despite how messed up everything else seems.

“So many things I need to tell you, explain to you but not tonight.” I’m nodding because those secrets that might tear us apart can wait. I want him too much to care about anything else.

“Tomorrow.” I say and I feel him nod against me giving me another soul stealing kiss.

“Can I show you what it could be like?”

The fact that he’s asking my permission seals the deal. I would do anything to feel like this as addicted as I as for him. “Yes.” I whisper against his lips that hungrily return to mine seeking more. His large hands cup the arc of my back pulling me closer to him. My breasts to his still clothed chest. Warmth spreads up my spine like a wildfire only he can control and I dare him to do his worst by sneaking touches here and there forcing him to relinquish my hips and toss my arms back over my head.

His kiss is asphyxiating in the best way possible turning my air into his and vice versa. Who needs vision when his touch creates explosions of color? His tongue probed the recesses tickling the back of my throat deeply in long controlled strokes. If I wasn’t following his lead and breathing as he was I’d probably suffocate willingly, tumbling down a path so wicked only he could save me.

“From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. It was wrong then, you were too young, but then as I grew to know you it became impossible to stay away.”

“I didn’t think you’d notice me and by then you were gone.” I was shaking with need so badly he pets me to calm me down.

“I tortured myself visiting you.”

“Why did you?”

“It was my punishment, my penance. No matter where I went, I always came back. No one, nothing could make me forget you. You have the softest skin and the kindest smile, the kind that makes me want to see you wrap your lips around my cock as I brush your hair back. You have this spot right here….” He touches my shoulder and kisses it sucking on the skin. “God, I’d love to brand you, make you mine.” I think about what that means and how it would feel. My flesh altered to be his and it fills that empty space I guess I always saved for him.

He continued saying deliciously wicked things he planned to do to my body the rest of the night and I agreed to all of it as a single finger probes me below parting swollen lips around my core that felt tightly sprung and pulsing with need. He plays between the flesh circling my center and on my begging whimper he penetrates me so slowly, his thumb circling my clit simultaneously as I arc my back greedy for more. I’d hold the brand myself if he just gave me what I wanted.

“Not yet. You only release the spring when I tell you, Jude.” My whimper is more of a cry as his finger leaves me pulling out so slowly I whine petulantly. He pushes inside again, this time with a pair of fingers torturing me.

“Damn it!” I growl into his face and he chuckled resting his head on my stomach.

“I know you have better manners than that. Such a mouth on you. I must put it to better use another time.”

“Give me that cock of yours and I’ll show you.” He hissed and I knew I had him as worked up as I was. He slipped lower and switches his hands letting the one that was inside me touch my mouth. Tracing my lips, tart musk stings my nostrils with my own heady perfume and taste of arousal.

“This cunt must be made of gold to have so many clamoring for it.” Growling, his vulgar words have a bizarre effect on me making me feel even wetter between my legs if that’s possible. The way he says the hard c in cunt is strangely hot with the letter t snapping my attention like a whip on everything he’s doing to my body. I could orgasm with him just repeating that word over and over again.

He speaks trailing kisses down further nipping at my inner thigh. “Let’s have a taste and compare.” Fingers slipped inside my mouth as his tongue pierces me deeply. My harsh cry is muffled by his thick digits filling my mouth. I’m licking my essence from his fingers with smacking kisses greedy for more.

“Like gold honey?” He asks the rhetorical question and my eyes burn. I want to orgasm so badly now, but he’s stopped moving tormenting me to the edge of sanity. I let my lips close around his wet fingers and suck them hard as his tongue laps around my clit, his mouth sucking it as hard as I suck his fingers encouraging me further. When I feel the roll of my inner muscles he stops and takes his hand back to hold me down again.  

Lorand returns to me kissing me hard, mouth to mouth. My taste is even more intense with my essence fresh on his tongue. It’s intoxicating and I’m drunk grabbing for his shoulder pulling and clawing him closer to me. “Definitely gold.” He murmurs and resumes finger fucking me and kissing me in tandem until the pressure builds and I’m fighting him as much as I’m trying to crawl inside of him. “Let go Jude. Fall for me, my sweet mouse.” With his permission, I let my body go fluttering into release, the spring bouncing and each wave cresting over like a breaking tide. My mind goes blank, buzzing into the void, a butterfly lost on the wind and Lorand scooped me up leaving the kitchen and placing me in my bed. Content I closed my eyes and focused on breathing until I felt him slip in behind me, holding me against his hard chest.

“That, sweet Jude is just the beginning of what it’s like to submit to me.” If I’d known this was what I’d been missing all this time I would have pushed him sooner all those times he visited me in the dark silence to get my reward.