An Affair of the Heart (18 page)

The paramedic
smiled at her, brushing her hair. She smiled back. Slowly, she
turned to Alex. “I’ve got something to ask you,” she said to
him.

“You should
rest,” the paramedic said.

“Just one
question,” Rachel told him. “Please?” He nodded, and Rachel turned
to Alex again. “Why did you do all this?” she asked him. “You
needed a transplant yourself, so why did you want to stop
mine?”

Alex looked
sorry, embarrassed and guilty all at the same time.

“I’m a fool, I
know,” he said. “It’s just that I’ve never believed in it. Just
never liked the idea, that’s all. When I was diagnosed as having
acute myeloid leukaemia two years ago, the consultant contacted
Diana without telling me. He said that I would have a better chance
if I could have a bone marrow transplant. He said that without it I
would only live another four or five years. I told him that I
didn’t want a transplant, or chemotherapy. Just the basic minimum
treatment. And that was that. I never told anybody else, not even
Sarah. That’s why I was so possessive with her. I wanted so much
for her to stay with me these last few years. But not out of pity.
It would have been easy to tell her. But it was only her love I
wanted. So, instead, I hid my illness and my pain from her. I would
visit my consultant and take any treatment I needed in secret.
Sometimes, when I was really bad and could bear the pain no longer,
I would stay away from her for days. I think my deception finally
confused Sarah. On the one hand, I would be madly possessive, even
hiring people to watch her. And on the other hand, I would be
excluding her, staying away for days and avoiding her. It slowly
drove us apart. And when McCord finally stole her away from me, I
was incensed. And when she died and I learned about what they had
done to her, I...” Alex choked on his words. He looked away and
sighed.

“This police
woman is perfectly correct,” he said once he had regained his
composure again. “My relationships with the women in my life have
been very poor. Even my daughter hates me. But she has good reason.
I did abandon her and her mother when she was quite young. And I
was going to leave her everything until Sarah came.” Alex squeezed
Rachel’s hand. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Rachel. Or anybody else.
I just lost control. I felt that I couldn’t grieve or even bury
Sarah until I had put things right. You see, I knew that Sarah
really did love me. It was my fault that she left; I drove her
away. But I just couldn’t help myself. I suppose I was just a
selfish, proud old man, hiding my infirmity from my young wife,
even when I knew it was destroying our marriage. And when I finally
lost her, I got confused and bitter. I’m sorry, Rachel. Can you
feel it in your heart to forgive me?”

There was
momentary silence before Rachel replied, “Only if you now do the
right thing. I didn’t just come to talk some sense into you
tonight; I also came to get something. I lost it and I wanted it
back. It’s been driving me crazy. Will you give it to me? Now?
Please?”

Alex nodded and
sighed again. He reached into his pocket and brought out a crumpled
organ donor card. “I had a feeling that you might ask for it,” he
said, as he pressed it into her hands.

“Did you have
that all this time?” WPC Foster asked him in surprise.

Rachel put her
finger to her lips and made a shushing noise. Hugging the organ
donor card to her chest, she smiled, said, “Thank you,” and content
at last, she closed her eyes.

Rachel Carter
stepped out of the Metro at Piccadilly Gardens and smiled. It was a
bright sunny and warm day. She wore a battered pair of jeans and
trainers, and a short sleeveless top that just covered the scars on
her chest, but also left her midriff and tummy bare. In front of
her on the grass, people were strewn about, chatting, cuddling, or
just taking in the sun. Who said it always rained in Manchester?
Rachel breathed in deeply and walked down the platform. She felt
marvellous. She had a credit card in her pocket and she meant to
spend it.

First was Marks
& Spencer, followed by Kendals, various smaller but much more
expensive shops in King Street and Saint Anne’s Square, then Harvey
Nichols, Selfridges, and finally, Debenhams. By the time Rachel
made her way to the restaurant on the third floor, she was laden
down by a multitude of coloured shopping bags.

Why she chose
the restaurant in Debenhams she didn’t really know. Maybe it was
because it was the last shop on her tour, and she felt like a rest
and a drink. And it was non-smoking, which she preferred. Or
perhaps there was another reason. In either case, when she saw
Robert McCord sitting on his own at a round table near the wall,
staring into his coffee, she didn’t feel surprised at all.

“Do you mind if
I join you?”

Robert turned
in surprise and found himself staring at a woman’s navel. Then he
quickly looked up to see Rachel standing right next to him,
shopping bags looped over both arms, and a large mug of hot
chocolate in one hand. She was smiling. He stood up quickly.

“Of course you
can join me! Sit down! Here, let me help you.” Robert helped her
with her bags, and they both sat down together at the round table.
They stared at each other in silence, and Rachel’s smile grew
wider.

“Go on, then!”
she demanded. “Tell me how well I look!”

Robert smiled
weakly. “You do look well,” he said. “And happy. How long is it
since I last saw you? Two months? Three?”

“Two and a
half,” she replied. “You look awful.”

Robert laughed.
“Thank you,” he said. “I guess I do.”

“What are you
doing here?”

The smile faded
from his lips. “You know why I’m here, Rachel,” he said, rather
sadly.

“I meant, why
are you still here rather than in America, dumbo! Not why are you
in Debenhams!”

“Oh!” Robert
shrugged. “I thought...never mind what I thought.” He sighed. “I
just haven’t got around to buying my ticket, that’s all.”

“You could
always stay,” Rachel said, taking a sip from her hot chocolate.

Robert shook
his head. “Six months without being able to practice law is too
long a holiday for me.”

“It could have
been worse, you could have been in jail. Anyway, it’s not six
months now, it’s only four and a half.”

“Yeah, so it
is.” Robert paused, watching her for a moment. Then he said. “You
know, I still can’t figure out why Alex dropped the charges against
me. You didn’t have anything to do with that, did you?”

“Me?” Rachel
put on her most innocent expression and stared at him over the rim
of her glasses. “How could I have done such a thing?”

“Don’t kid with
me! I know you went to see him that night! It was a damn fool thing
to do, Rachel! I told you to go and see Brian Morgan, not have fist
fights with Diana Williams!”

“She turned out
to be a real nasty piece, didn’t she?” Rachel exclaimed. “She
definitely earned her psychiatric evaluation!”

“Rachel!”

“Okay! So I
went to see him. We didn’t talk for long. I told him what you told
me, Diana hit me, then she hit him, then Helen hit her, and then we
all went for a ride in ambulances. Simple. I don’t know why you
didn’t do it yourself ages ago.”

Robert shook
his head in exasperation. “You could have got yourself killed!”

Rachel laughed.
“It was nothing compared to what my Mum did when she found out! I
nearly needed a head transplant!”

“Is your mother
with you?” Robert asked rather worriedly, looking quickly around
the restaurant.

“No, she’s at
home. I managed to persuade her that I needed at least one outing a
week on my own.”

“I’m glad about
that. There are too many sharp implements within easy reach in
here!”

“Oh, don’t
worry! She’s only a softy really! She forgave you ages ago! And
she’s forgiven Helen Worthington, too. She met her in hospital
while she was recovering. They got on quite well together.”

“Why doesn’t
that surprise me?”

Rachel laughed.
“My Mum kept saying how she wished she’d been there when that pan
hit Diana’s face!”

“It’s not
funny! It broke her nose, jaw and both cheek-bones,” Robert said,
trying hard not to smile himself. “I think she lost some front
teeth, too.”

Rachel laughed.
“It was quite a whack!” Then she asked, “Is Helen still working for
Alex?”

“Yes, and they
seem to be getting on quite well.” Robert paused before adding, “I
hear that Alex has consented to chemotherapy treatment at last, but
I think it’s probably too late now.”

“I hope not,”
Rachel replied sadly, and the happiness faded from her expression.
The thought of Alex dying really upset her. “He isn’t a bad man you
know,” she said. “You don’t still hate him do you? I even managed
to persuade my Mum to forgive him once I had explained everything
to her. And I’m sure he doesn’t still hate you.”

Robert didn’t
reply at once. He shook his head. “No, I don’t hate him,” he said
at last. “If anything, I’m jealous. He had more time with Sarah
than me.”

Rachel looked
even sadder than before. She just sat hunched over her hot
chocolate. Robert decided to change the subject.

“Apparently,”
he said. “Helen keeps that dented pan hanging on the wall in her
office like a trophy.”

Rachel laughed,
and Robert was pleased to see her smiling again. He realised that
he liked her better that way. He sighed. And then he thought of a
different question. “What are you doing here, Rachel? I know you’ve
been shopping. But why come here? To this restaurant?”

This time it
was Rachel’s turn to shrug her shoulders. “Why not?” she said
defensively. “There are lots of people in here who have never met
you or Sarah. And none of them probably recognise us, either. We’re
old news, Robert. Relegated to wrapping up fish and chips and
lining the bottom of budgie cages.” She paused thoughtfully before
going on. “I’m sort of here by chance, really. This just happened
to be my last port of call before I go home. But maybe
sub-consciously I hoped you would be here, too. That’s my excuse.
You don’t have one though, do you, Robert? I bet you’ve been here
every day since the funeral, haven’t you?”

Robert looked
away and didn’t reply. Rachel took another drink from her hot
chocolate and thought for a moment. She looked at him, sitting
there, avoiding her eyes, and decided to tell him.

“You know, when
I first saw your picture, and I felt Sarah’s heart react, I
automatically thought it was because she was so much in love with
you, that she still wanted to be with you. But I know now that I
was wrong.”

“Great,” Robert
muttered. “Now you’re going to tell me that Sarah hated me? Is that
supposed to make me feel better? Am I supposed to get over her more
easily if I thought she didn’t really love me? Come on, Rachel! Who
are you trying to kid?”

Rachel shook
her head. “It’s not that at all! Let me finish, thick head! Look,
you said it yourself, the last time we met. Sarah knew everything
after she died, or at least her spirit, soul or whatever you want
to call it, did. But she hadn’t heard it from you! My heart got
agitated when I saw your picture because of one of two things. I’ll
let you guess which one my Mum thinks it is. Either I just took a
fancy to you, or it was because Sarah wanted to hear the truth from
you. You told me yourself, you never had a chance to tell her the
truth. Through me you did. All the rest of it, the feelings I had
–you know, of always being restless and agitated– that was because
Sarah also knew what Diana was up to, and she knew that Alex had
her donor card. She just needed me to sort them out.”

Robert was
sceptical. “And you really believe all that?” he said, eyebrows
raised.

“Of course I
do! It’s the only explanation!” Rachel replied, enthusiastically.
“That was why I always felt like I had to get up and do something!
I just didn’t realise what it was until you got arrested! Then I
knew! I had to go and see Alex, not for me, but for Sarah! I think
she wanted to give him a piece of her mind! You should have seen
his face when he put his hand on my chest!”

Robert nearly
had a fit. “You did the same...! You put his hand on...!
Rachel!”

“It worked a
treat!” Rachel said excitedly, leaning closer to him. “I even took
off my glasses, too! You should have seen his face! It was like
Sarah’s ghost had come out of the ground and grabbed him!”

“You shouldn’t
have done that, Rachel! It’s not right to joke about such
things!”

“But I’m not
joking! It worked, I tell you! Maybe you didn’t feel anything
because it wasn’t you she needed to talk to! She only had to listen
to you! But Alex certainly felt something! One minute he was all
angry-faced and stern, and the next he was asking for my
forgiveness! That’s why he dropped the charges against you. And how
do you think Davidson got hold of Sarah’s donor card?”

“I don’t
believe this!”

“It’s true!
Alex had it all the time, Robert! He gave it to me that night, and
I gave it to Dr Jones! I’m telling you I didn’t imagine any of
those feelings! It was Sarah! I don’t care what other people might
think. It was her! And what I did that night were exactly the
things she wanted me to do!” She counted them off on her fingers,
“Get the truth out of you, nobble Diana, sort Alex out, get you off
the hook, and finally, get her donor card back! I just didn’t
understand at first, that’s all!”

“And you
seriously expect me to believe all this? That Sarah’s ghost, or
whatever you want to call it, has actually been urging you to do
all these things?”

“Yes! Honestly,
Robert! I do! I’m absolutely sure of it!”

Robert shook
his head. “There has to be a more rational explanation,
Rachel.”