Among Wildflowers (6 page)

Ryland watched Macy closely
as she wandered the main floor of his house, snapping pictures. She stayed a long time in the
spacious living room, getting a lot of shots of the spectacular fireplace and overstuffed couches that made the room warm and inviting.

“Take a seat here,” she said softly, gesturing to one of the couches.

“You’re going to take a picture of me?”

She rolled her eyes and gave him a smile that made his chest tighten slightly. “Come on, Ryland Quinn. I’ve seen your music videos and Google is plastered with shirtless photos of you. I doubt you’re very shy. Now have a seat.”

He couldn’t help but grin. “Have it your way.”

She sat on the couch directly across from him and brought the camera to her face, snapping a couple of quick photos as he settled into his seat.

Ryland leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together. He smiled naturally as she took a few more photos. He was surprised at how little she spoke. He had expected her to pick up where Lane had left off.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling. She wandered into the kitchen where she took another few photos. “I would die to have a kitchen like this. You could practically fit our whole apartment in here.”

Ryland simply grinned, shoving his hands inside his pockets. He was unsure why he felt shy around her—bashful almost.

“Can I get some outside?”

“Sure.” He followed her as she grabbed her jacket and headed out onto the porch where she took some pictures of the view. He appreciated the fact that she had her back to him so he could unabashedly look at her. Her long blond hair lay loosely around her shoulders. Her sweater and jeans hugged her body in such a way that he couldn’t stop his gaze from traveling to her backside. When she started to turn around, his eyes immediately darted away as he coughed and rubbed the stubble on his chin.

“You must never get tired of this view. I’d be out here all the time if I lived here.”

He grinned and stepped closer, nodding. “I love it here.”

Macy looked around the porch. “These rocking chairs are gorgeous.” She stepped closer to them. “I’d love to get a picture with them. Do you think we could dust this one off?”

“Don’t!” he barked, as her hand moved towards the pile of wildflowers on the seat of the chair. He cleared his throat and offered an embarrassed grin. “Um...I’m just going to move this one out of the way for now. Helen can take care of it later.”

“Oh… okay,” Macy said, her voice laced with confusion.

Ryland picked up the chair, carefully holding it perfectly upright so as not to disturb the flowers, and deposited it on the other side of the porch before returning to where Macy stood.

“Would you like me to sit here in the chair?”

“Yes, please.”

Ryland sat down in the rocking chair, suddenly overcome by a shyness that he wasn’t accustomed to. Macy stepped closer and crouched down before him, and he caught himself staring at her full lips as she looked down at her camera and fiddled with the settings. She looked back up and his gaze was met with the most stunning green eyes he had ever seen. He felt mesmerized and blinked back to reality when she began snapping. She pulled the camera away from her face and smiled again.

“I think we got some good ones.”

“Good.”

“Listen…” she began, as she shoved her camera back in its bag, “I appreciate you having us out here.”

“You’re welcome.”

She sank down on the first step a couple feet away from Ryland. “I’m sure you had reservations about them sending me out here.”

“Why would I?”

She looked up at him, furrowing her brows. “Because of what happened.”

“What happened?”

Macy shook her head. “You are either being very gentlemanly by pretending you didn’t hear about it, or you have sure been out of the loop.”

“I can assure you it’s the latter.”

She bit her bottom lip and looked away. “I see.”

“Care to enlighten me, Macy?”

She looked back into Ryland’s eyes and shook her head. “It’s
nothing. Not a big deal, actually. I just really appreciate you having us.”

“I...appreciate you coming out. As you’re aware, my career hasn’t been spectacular recently, either.”

Macy shoved a chunk of blond hair clumsily behind her ear, and Ryland caught a glimpse of a faint but noticeable scar on her wrist. He studied it for a moment before she dropped her hand again. He was curious. The more he got to know Macy, the more complicated she appeared to be.

She was smiling again. Ryland was beginning to look forward to her smiles. “A lot of people think you’re tired of the business and decided to get out altogether.”

“Thought about it,” he said, rocking back in his chair.

“But now that we’re doing this story...it’ll revive your career. It’ll be the start of your comeback.”

“That’s what my manager keeps telling me.”

Ryland watched Macy. She seemed to be thinking very carefully about something.

“This is probably a big change from what you’re used to. I’d be lying if I said part of the reason why I agreed to you coming out was so I could watch a couple of city slickers from New York try to rough it out here.”

Macy laughed. He loved how her face lit up. “It’s not really roughing it.” She stopped for a minute and pulled a serious face. “It might be for Lane though.” Her face cracked to reveal another beautiful smile.

Ryland laughed with her. “I guess he didn’t appreciate our horseback ride.”

“I guess you specifically chose that activity so that you could watch a couple of city slickers from New York try to figure out how to ride a horse.”

He grinned and nodded, giving her a cocky wink. “I guess.”

“You’re pretty full of yourself, Ryland Quinn.”

Macy looked off into the distance and chuckled softly to herself, shaking her head. “Logan would hate it out here.”

“Logan?”

“Oh, my boyfriend.”

Ryland swallowed and tried to ignore the sudden uncomfortable tightness in his chest. “Your boyfriend’s not much into the outdoors, huh?”

“You could say that. He’s all city. I’ve actually tried to get him to take me camping a few times, but he’s always refused. “Well,” she said, standing and wrapping her jacket around herself more tightly, “I’d better get back to the cabin and check in with my boss.”

“Alright,” Ryland said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yep.” She flashed him a shy smile over her shoulder and made her way back down the dirt path to the cabin.

Ryland watched her go and then turned to head back inside, glancing at the pile of abandoned flowers on the rocking chair.

“Lord, what’s wrong with me?”

***

Macy had been listening to Lane snore for almost an hour, but she didn’t even feel a little sleepy yet. She was wide awake with her hands tucked beneath her head. Her mind was racing in a thousand different directions, but they all seemed to somehow find their way to Ryland Quinn. Why was she so drawn to him?

She still doubted everything about herself. She knew she was vulnerable and, just like they’d told her in group therapy, she was going to be drawn to people—especially men—who acted as though they cared about her. She hadn’t had a dad growing up, and had never had a role model of what a good man was like. The only men in her life when she was a kid had been anything but role models. Logically, she knew why she was attracted to Ryland, but that didn’t diminish the horrible knot of guilt that was lodged in her gut when she thought about Logan.

Unable to take lying in bed any longer, she went to the window and peered out. It was so dark outside. Eerily dark. She was used to the bright lights of the city.

Suddenly, the porch light on the main house came on and she spotted Ryland stepping outside, guitar in hand. She watched him for a bit as he took a seat in one of the rocking chairs and began casually strumming.

She very quietly opened the door, the bitter cold air causing her to suck in a breath. She wondered how Ryland could sit outside in weather like this. She strained her ears, trying to hear his music, but she could only pick up on faint notes here and there.

Tiny snowflakes began falling from the sky. She looked up and shivered. Before heading back inside the cabin, she took one last look at Ryland. He had stopped playing and was staring off into space. From her time at Tall Oaks, she recognized when a person was dealing with inner demons, and as far as she could tell, Ryland had far more demons than he was letting on.

Crawling back onto her bunk, she closed her eyes and tried to force sleep to come. Every moment felt like a battle. Every day felt like a fight. Would the rest of her life be like this?

***

“Mama, no, Mama!”

“Honey, it’s time to go.” A lady in a police uniform stooped down to pick Macy up, setting Macy on her hip.

“I want my mama!” Macy screamed, kicking her legs as hard as she could to get the lady to let her go, but the woman only tightened her grip around her.

“It’s alright, honey.”

“You jealous bitch,” Macy’s mama said, staggering out of her bedroom, still in her dirty night shirt. Mama was so mad. Why was she so mad?

“I’m sorry, Connie. This is for the best. I’m going to take good care of her, I swear,” Aunt Suzy said.

“You’re just doing this because you don’t have anyone. No one cares about you, Suzy. You’ve always been jealous of me.”

Suzy went to Macy, taking her from the lady’s arms. “Say goodbye to your mama, sweetie. Tell her we’ll visit soon, alright? We’re going to go for a nice car ride, how does that sound?”

“You fucking bitch, I hate you! I’ll never forgive you for taking my baby away. I hate you!”

Macy turned her face and hid it against Aunt Suzy’s shoulder. She didn’t understand why her mama was so mad. Why was she so mad? And why did she have to go with Aunt Suzy? She must have done something bad. This must be her fault. She must be bad.

“I’m not taking her to punish you, Connie. I’m taking her because you refuse to get help. You refuse to take the help we keep offering. Macy’s not safe here.”

“Like hell she isn’t safe. Who are you tell me how to take care of my child, Suzy?”

“When was the last time she was bathed, Connie? Her face is caked in dirt.”

Macy heard a crash. Mama must have thrown something again.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Aunt Suzy said in Macy’s ear. “Say bye to Mama.”

Macy turned her head slightly so she could see her mother. “Bye, Mama.”

“Get out of my house. I hate you! I hate you both!”

“Let’s go get some ice cream, okay, sweetie?” Aunt Suzy murmured in her ear.

“Okay,” Macy whispered.

Macy turned around in her seat and looked out the back window of Aunt Suzy’s station wagon, watching her house get smaller and smaller as they drove away. Mama was sick a lot and needed Macy to take care of her. Macy didn’t mean to be bad.

“I’m sorry, Mama.”

Macy woke up with a shivering Lane
in her bed. Their limbs were tightly entwined and they had about a dozen blankets and quilts piled on top of them, but it seemed to do nothing to ward off the bitter cold. Macy peeked out the window and saw a fresh blanket of snow covering the landscape.

“Are you awake?” she whispered.

“Fuck yeah, I’m awake. I’m so cold I can’t sleep. This place sucks.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cold. I don’t think the heater’s working right.”

“You think?” Lane said, his teeth chattering away.

Macy was surprised that Ryland hadn’t woken them up yet. She looked at her phone and saw it was almost nine-thirty. They hadn’t made any particular plans for this morning, but after yesterday, she’d just assumed he would have something planned for today.

“Alright, get off. I’m going to get ready. I’ll take a shower. That should warm the place up a bit.”

Lane simply moaned in response and dove deeper under the covers.

After her shower she felt better and was excited to see what the day had in store. Lane was still being grumpy and whiney, so she left him behind and ventured outside. The snow looked pristine save for the occasional animal track.

“Morning.”

Macy whipped her head up to find Ryland standing on the porch, coffee cup in hand. She smiled.

“Morning,” she called back and trudged through the snow toward the house.

“Morning, Macy,” Helen said, sticking her head out the door. “Coffee?”

“Please.” She turned to Ryland. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

“Not much, actually. I thought you might want to get some pictures of the snow, and Lane would probably want to finish our interview,” Ryland said.

“Here you go, sweetie.” Helen handed Macy a cup of steaming hot coffee before disappearing back into the house again.

“Sounds good. Lane’s still getting ready. He’ll probably be a little while,” Macy said, taking a tentative sip of the hot liquid.

Ryland smirked. “He looks like he’s really enjoying himself out here.”

Macy couldn’t stop herself from grinning. “Something like that.”

“Well, I was just about to go check on the horses. Care to join me?”

“Sure.” Macy turned and followed him down the steps. “Your land looks stunning in all the snow.”

“I love the winter. I love how majestic it makes everything look.”

As Macy made her way down a particularly steep path, her foot slipped on a patch of earth. She gasped and flailed her arms as she began to fall, but Ryland reached out and caught her around the waist just in time. Coffee sloshed over her jacket and she sheepishly looked up at Ryland to find him smiling down at her, his arm still wrapped securely around her.

“Alright?”

“Yep,” she said more breathlessly than she would have liked.

“Come on, city slicker,” he said lightly, keeping his arm around her waist as they navigated the rest of the way to the barn.

Macy was painfully aware of the fluttering in her stomach that his closeness invoked.

Ryland led her to the entrance and pulled it open, dragging a pile of snow along with it, and motioned for her to go inside. It felt so warm inside the barn. Ryland took the cup of coffee from her hand and set it on a railing next to his cup.

“Want to give them a treat?” he asked, holding out a container.

“Sure.” She reached inside and pulled out a handful of treats. “Hello again, Levi.” she said, approaching the horse.

“Just like this,” Ryland said softly, standing behind her. He took her hand, opened it palm up, and pushed it towards the horse. Levi smelled her hand for a moment before pulling the treats into his mouth with his lips.

Macy giggled and accidently stepped backwards, running into Ryland’s broad chest.

“It feels funny,” she said, still laughing, but stepping away from Ryland. Being so close to him was making her feel stupid and giddy…and she shouldn’t be feeling that way.

Ryland reached around Macy and gave the horse a scratch behind his ear. “Good boy, Levi.”

Macy turned and made her way to the next stall. “This is Belle?”

“Yep, she’s a little younger. I just broke her over the summer, so she’s a little more skittish than the others.”

“She’s beautiful,” Macy murmured, reaching inside the stall to pet her. The horse lifted its head and took a couple of casual steps toward Macy, smelling her hand for a moment before rubbing her face against it. Macy turned to Ryland, smiling. “She’s so sweet.”

“Yeah,” Ryland said, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s not usually so friendly.”

“Can I go inside?”

“I guess so. Just don’t make any sudden movements. Like I said, she’s a little skittish.”

“Hey, girl,” Macy crooned, stepping inside the stall. She stepped closer to Belle and tried to touch her face, but the horse shied away, shaking her head back and forth, then turned away, strutting towards the back of the stall. Macy turned to Ryland. “Guess she wants some space.”

Ryland smiled down at her, his eyes searching hers. “She’s paid you more attention than she has Michael the entire time we’ve owned her.”

Macy smiled, looking over at Belle. “Really? She seems like a good girl. Does anyone else ride her but you?”

“Nope, she’s all mine—“ Ryland’s sentence was cut off when Lane opened the barn door, sticking his head in.

“Macy? You in here?” Lane yelled, slamming the barn door loudly, causing Macy to yelp in surprise.

Belle startled, her head shooting up and her eyes bulging toward the source of the noise. The horse snorted loudly and her right back leg jutted out straight towards Macy, catching her left arm. Macy cried out as the impact of the kick shoved her hard against the wall. Belle retreated as far as she could to the back of the stall, her head held high and her entire body taut with tension. Macy slid to the floor, holding her arm and cowering in fear of the horse.

“Shit!” Ryland said under his breath. He quickly but gently reached down and picked Macy up, pulling her out of the stall, closing the door behind him soundly.

Macy clutched her arm as it began to throb painfully. “I didn’t mean to scare her.”

“You didn’t scare her,” Ryland said. Looking her over carefully, he ran his hand gently up and down her injured arm. “Where does it hurt?”

Macy grimaced. “Right here,” she said, gingerly placing her other hand over the throbbing spot. She looked up at him to find him staring intently down at her, and the look in his eyes took her breath away.

“You’ll be alright,” he said softly, almost in a whisper. Then without warning, he scooped her into his arms, making her gasp, being careful of her injured arm. “You didn’t scare Bell, that damned idiot did.” He strode towards the barn door, pushing roughly past Lane.

Macy tried to offer Lane a reassuring smile, but the pain radiating from her arm was too distracting. “It was just an accident.”

“Oh God, I’m sorry, Macy. Are you okay?” Lane said, stumbling through the snow behind them as Ryland strode angrily towards the house. “I’m so sorry!”

Ryland kicked open the front door. “Helen!”

“Heavens! What’s wrong?”

“Belle kicked Macy.”

“Oh dear. Well, bring her into the kitchen. Let’s take a look.”

Macy grimaced as Ryland sat her gently down on a bar stool. “She didn’t get her very hard, thank God. But I want to be sure Macy’s arm is okay.”

“That wasn’t hard?” Macy cried, clutching her arm.

Ryland gave her a lopsided grin and shook his head. “No, if she’d given you a full-blown kick you would know it.”

“May I?” Helen said gently, reaching for Macy’s jacket. Macy nodded and allowed Helen to pull it off her shoulders. She gently slid the sleeve of Macy’s sweater up her arm to reveal the damage. “Not too bad,” she said softly.

“Not too bad?” Macy winced as Helen touched the injured area gently, prodding the bone. “You two are acting like getting kicked by horse is nothing but a pat on the back.”

“No, no, she was just startled. If she’d meant to really kick you, your arm would be broken. You’re only going to have a pretty bruise for a couple of weeks.” Ryland took her hand in his and ran his fingers up and down her arm, feeling around gently. “You’re going to be okay. But let’s put some ice on it.”

“I’m so sorry, Mace.” Lane was standing awkwardly in the doorway. “I didn’t realize…”

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I guess this is just the tough cowboy life, right?” Macy smiled at Lane and then looked over at Ryland. He flashed her a quick, warm smile, but then a scowl crept over his face as he looked Lane up and down.

“You shouldn’t have been so careless.”

“I’m really sorry. I... I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s fine, really.” Macy waved the hand of her good arm around in the air between the two men. “Please stop.”

Ryland grunted under his breath but didn’t say anything in response. Macy wondered what had gotten him so worked up. She was fairly certain that accidents happened a lot on a ranch.

“Here,” he said softly, scooping her up again, taking her by surprise. “Helen, bring me an ice pack, please.” He carried her into the living room and deposited her gently on the couch.

“You don’t have to baby me. I can be a tough cowboy while I’m here.”

He chuckled, crouching beside the couch and taking her hand gently. “No, you can’t. You’re just a sweet little New York City girl.”

Macy grinned at him, momentarily forgetting the pain in her arm. “You don’t think I could be tough?”

“Nope.” The crinkling around his eyes told her that he was enjoying teasing her. “But you’re cute, so you can get away with it.”

Macy’s heart stuttered inside her chest, swelling with the excitement of flirting with Ryland and then deflating with the guilt of knowing she shouldn’t be. Looking into Ryland’s eyes, she could have sworn that he also looked torn.

He cleared his throat and stood, taking the ice pack from Helen.

“Here,” Macy said, reaching for the pack. “I’m fine. I’m just going to take this back to our cabin and rest for a little bit.”

“I’ll help,” Lane said quickly.

Macy knew he was feeling uncomfortable around Ryland and was dying to put some space between them.

“Are you sure? You can rest here on my couch.”

“No, I’m okay. But thanks.”

Lane followed Macy out of the house, and as soon as they were out of earshot he said, “What the hell was that?”

Macy felt her cheeks burn and she kept her gaze locked on the ground. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you and Ryland Quinn are looking pretty cozy with each other, Mace.”

She summoned up the courage to look Lane in the eye. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit, Mace. I love you. You’ve been my best friend for a long time, and I know you inside and out.”

“It’s really not a big deal, Lane.”

He grabbed her uninjured arm. “Have you forgotten about Logan?”

Macy furrowed her eyebrows and glared at Lane. “Of course I haven’t forgotten about him. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Then I suggest you step carefully, Mace. After everything that’s happened…” His expression softened and he pulled her in for a hug. “Just be careful. Don’t get yourself into another mess.”

***

Ryland watched Macy and Lane make their way back down the path. Judging by their body language he could guess what they were talking about. He could feel the growing connection between him and Macy, but he also knew that she was off-limits. She had a boyfriend back in New York. Someone much more suited for her than he was. But if she hadn’t been attached to anyone… He shook his head and turned to go back inside. He was still too fucked-up to allow anything to happen between them. He’d been a goddamned mess for the past two years, and he wouldn’t want Macy getting tangled up with his baggage.

“Can I get you anything, Ryland?” Helen asked.

“No thanks.” Ryland smiled. “I’m going to go sit in my den for a while.”

“Alright. Just holler if you need anything.”

Ryland quickly disappeared inside his office, shutting the door quietly behind him. He sat down at his desk, clasping his hands together. He hadn’t expected someone like Macy Ferris to show up at his place when he’d agreed to the interview. He hadn’t expected her to be so down to earth... yet so delicate. Nothing she did was thoughtless. Every movement she made seemed to be carefully thought out and purposeful. He could tell just by looking into her eyes that she was dealing with her own demons, and for some stupid reason Ryland felt uncontrollably compelled to help shelter her from those demons. To somehow banish them forever so she would never have to worry about them again.

He wondered what she had meant last night when she’d asked him if he’d had reservations about her coming out, but he let it go. He had also noticed the scars on her wrist again when he was examining her arm. He so badly wanted to know what the story was behind them, but of course he kept his curiosity to himself. Maybe she’d tell him one day.