Amish Promises (16 page)

“We did what we were asked to do—for each other if nothing else.”

“Do you think that's how Samuel's wife feels? And his parents?”

Charlie stared off into the trees, not knowing what to say. Joel had always been more philosophical than he was. “Did we do the right thing in joining up? Going to Iraq? Sending the gunner with the other Humvee instead of keeping him with us?” He'd helped Joel make that decision.

“Yeah, all of those things.”

“What does it matter?” Charlie asked. “We can't change anything.”

“Except how I feel about myself.” Joel shaded his eyes.

Charlie certainly couldn't change that.

Joel cleared his throat and then asked, “Have you heard from any of the guys lately?”

“Yeah. Rogers sent me a text last week.” Charlie hesitated, not sure whether to keep going or not.

“What did he say?”

“Samuel's baby was in the hospital with pneumonia.”

Joel cursed.

“No, she pulled through. She's gonna be okay.”

Joel exhaled. “How old is she now?”

“Five months.” Charlie rubbed his hands together. He was pretty sure Joel knew—he just didn't want to do the math. She'd been born the day before they were hit. Samuel had been so green—so naïve about everything, but in a funny way. He'd come from a conservative background. Went to some church that Charlie never got the whole story on. Married young. He should have had his whole life in front of him.

Joel shifted his gaze toward a flock of starlings swooping toward the field.

Charlie wasn't sure whether he should say more or not, but he guessed it would come better from him than someone else. “Samuel's parents moved to Lancaster not too long ago.”

“You're kidding?” Joel tightened his grip on the arms of his chair.

“Nope. Seems they wanted to be closer to their grandchild, without moving to Philly.”

Joel shook his head.

“You looked good holding Trudy today,” Charlie said, hoping to lighten the mood.

Joel shook his head again.

“You're a natural.”

“That's what Shani said.” Joel kept his eyes on the distance.

“Yours will be here before you know it.”

Joel's eyes clouded over. Charlie looked away.

“I don't deserve it,” Joel said. “God knows I don't. Samuel should be with his baby. I shouldn't. . . .” He didn't have to say it. Charlie knew what he was thinking.

Joel thought it should have been him instead of Samuel.

Charlie hit traffic just before the exit to Valley Forge. He kept thinking about the Lehmans. About Tim lumbering down the lane with the baby and car seat in one arm and the diaper bag over the
other. About Joel giving Trudy the bottle. Of Zane joking around with Simon and Daniel, learning all the wrong words in Pennsylvania Dutch. About Shani lamenting that she didn't want to lose Eve's friendship.

And most of all, about that unexpected look on Eve's face.

“But she shouldn't have sent me over there,” he said out loud and then sighed. “No, I shouldn't have agreed to go.” Shani didn't have any reason not to send him over, regardless of their joking.

Joel was right. It was inevitable that Tim would find some reason to stop the friendships between the two families. Maybe Tim overreacted or maybe he was looking for a reason to disengage from the Becks.

He couldn't help but wonder what the man meant when he had said,
“It's her harming herself
that I'm worried about.”
What had happened in the past to make Tim so suspicious?

His heart constricted again. What was the matter with him? He should have asked Joel to knock some sense into him before he left.

That made him smile. Joel could probably still take him down. He'd done it to Samuel just outside of Tikrit. They were on a mission to set up a communications antenna when word came that Samuel's wife, who was seven and a half months pregnant, had gone into early labor. Samuel freaked out. Joel told him to stop, but Samuel started yelling and kept it up until Joel tackled him and held him down, calmly saying, “Get a grip or you won't be any good to your wife and kid. They need you.”

Joel kept him pinned until Samuel finally stopped fighting. Back at base that night, after the baby had been born, Joel called the hospital, got through to the maternity ward, and managed to talk someone into helping Samuel's wife get on Skype.

The baby was in the NICU, but her chances looked good. She just needed some extra care. The last thing his wife said to him was, “You'll see her soon. I promise.” Samuel was scheduled for a furlough in six weeks, during the time the baby was originally due.

He couldn't sleep that night after talking with his wife and was
bouncing all over the place. Joel threatened to take Samuel down again if he didn't stop it.

The next day the rocket-propelled grenade hit the Humvee. Samuel never saw it coming. And he never saw his baby girl either. He had a photo waiting in his inbox that arrived while they were out. When Charlie found it later, he couldn't bear to open the attachment.

All Charlie could think of were Joel's words.
“Get
a grip or you won't be any good to your wife and kid. They need you.”
He was pretty sure that was what haunted Joel too.

As the traffic crawled along, dark clouds rolled in. A big raindrop splattered against the windshield and then another. Soon the black sky opened up, and the deluge brought traffic to a standstill. There were bound to be accidents.

His chest constricted again, but this time in anticipation of danger. Of things gone wrong. That was the tragedy of what had happened with the Lehmans. The friendship had the promise of something good. Now that had all changed.

It was seven thirty by the time he reached his little brick house on the west side of Philly. It wasn't exactly a great neighborhood—but it wasn't horrible either. It was eight by the time he'd unpacked and started a load of laundry.
Forget the store.
He had enough lunch meat to make a sandwich. He'd grocery shop after work the next day.

As he scrounged the cupboards for dinner—a can of tuna, a jar of peaches—his landline rang. Maybe Eve was calling from the barn phone.

He answered it quickly.

“Hi.” It wasn't Eve.

“Who is this?” he asked.

“Guess.”

His stomach sank. He didn't reply.

“I can't stop thinking about you.” Nikki paused. “How are you? I heard about the bad stuff that happened. I feel horrible. It sounds like it all came down right after . . . you know.”

“Uh-huh,” he said.

“So, are you doing all right?”

“I'm fine,” he said, tucking the phone under his chin. “How are you?”

“Good. Listen, I'm thinking about going back to the church group. Are you still going?”

“I haven't yet, but I plan to.”

“Do you mind if I go? This week?”

He wanted to say it was a free country, but the cliché made him cringe now.

“Charlie?” Her voice sounded the same.

“Go if you want,” he said. “I may make it, depending on what time I get off work.”

“I hope I'll see you,” she said.

“Maybe,” he said.
Or maybe not.
His chest constricted again. Not in pain. And certainly not in desire—at least not for Nikki.

He fell asleep that night thinking about Eve but woke up in the middle of a dream about Nikki. At least he thought it was about her. He couldn't remember it for sure. Just her long blond hair.

He punched his pillow and then rolled over to his back, staring at the ceiling. He didn't have much to complain about. He was alive. He didn't have a messed-up leg. He wasn't disabled with a family to support and a new baby on the way.

But nothing felt right. Helping Joel and Shani and Zane had felt good until the stuff with Tim blew up. He knew he shouldn't have gone to help Eve. Why hadn't he just told Shani it was a bad idea?

Because he'd wanted to go down—that was why. He wanted to see Eve. He glanced at the clock:
1:45.
He definitely needed more sleep.

He must have drifted off, because sand blew around him. A blown-out car blocked the road. He could almost smell the diesel. Dusk fell. A scream pierced through him as he jumped out of the Humvee.

His heart thumped as his eyes flew open. Sweat dripped down the side of his face. He turned toward the clock:
4:03
.
He took several deep breaths and blew them out slowly, like the emergency training video had shown. Still his heart raced.

After a minute of more deep breaths, he got up. He'd shower. Fix some eggs for breakfast. Make his lunch.

As he stumbled into the hall, he groaned. He'd done a fine job helping the Becks. He'd only made things worse—not better. And for himself too. He'd forget about Eve. He'd try his best to go to the church group and see Nikki. He needed to get on with his life.

He needed to move forward.
Now.

 18 

E
arly Tuesday morning Eve woke before Trudy and listened to the rain drum against the window and a branch scrape against the side of the house.

Once the baby stirred, Eve slid her legs over the side of the bed and sat up, putting a little weight on her ankle. The bandage had come loose. She bent over and tried to rewrap it, but it was too dark to see what she was doing.

Trudy started to cry.

“I'm right here,” Eve said. “Hold on.” She stood, putting more weight on her ankle. It didn't feel any worse than the day before. She slipped her robe on and then, putting her weight on her good foot, pulled the baby from the crib. Hobbling into the hall, she made it to the bathroom, changed Trudy's soaked diaper, and headed to the kitchen to light the lamp and heat up a bottle.

She started the kettle for coffee while the bottle heated. She considered putting Trudy down and letting her cry, but that might wake up the other children, when they could sleep another half hour.

She put the filter and then the coffee in the French press. “You get your bottle,” Eve whispered to the baby. “And I get my coffee.”

Trudy reached toward the stove, opening and closing her fist.

“Patience, little one,” Eve said. “All in good time.” The thought depressed her. All in good time for everyone but her, it seemed. She'd ruined everything by feeling what she did for Charlie. And not just for herself, for the children too. It would have done them good to have Englisch friends. She understood Tim's concerns, but there was no stopping life. His children would come to know Englischers sooner or later, unless he locked them in the house.

Trudy must have sensed her unhappiness, because she patted Eve's cheek and then smiled, showing her bottom teeth.

Eve pulled the baby close, causing Trudy to squirm and then laugh.

Once the bottle had heated, Eve retrieved it, turned off the burner, and turned the kettle down to a simmer. She wouldn't risk pouring the boiling water with the baby in her arms, not when she was so unstable.

She settled into the chair in the living room, the weight of the baby's body against her own comforting Eve. Once the baby was fed, Eve put her on the floor with her toys, made the coffee, dressed, rewrapped her ankle, and started breakfast. By then Tim and the boys had gone out to the milking, and Lila was getting ready.

Eve woke Rose. Trudy, still in her sleeper, began to fuss. A minute later Lila came into the kitchen with her.

“Put her in the high chair,” Eve instructed as she mixed eggs and milk together. “And give her a cracker. I'll make her cereal in a minute.”

Lila obeyed and then began setting the table. “Why didn't Zane come over yesterday?”

“Your Dat doesn't need the help anymore.” Eve didn't dare look at Lila. The girl had a way of knowing when something more than what was being said was going on.

“Daniel was cranky all evening.” Lila reached for the plates.

Eve nodded. They were all cranky.

“I think it was because he misses Zane.”

Eve didn't bother to nod this time. They all missed Zane. He'd
lightened their afternoons with his constant chatter and questions. She regretted that Tim had come home when he did yesterday. But on the other hand, she was thankful he had. What had come over her?

Poor Charlie. He was such a nice man. She'd known she was attracted to him, but the longing she'd felt for him surprised her. Shocked her, really. It was having him so close. It was his tenderness. His care. She hadn't intended to feel so strongly for him.

But she wasn't surprised an Englisch man would make her feel that way. Apparently, neither was Tim.

Rose shuffled into the kitchen, dressed but sleepy-eyed. Eve greeted her, but then the sound of a wagon rolling over the gravel distracted all of them. Rose hurried to the window. Tim had gone to the lumberyard the day before after he came home with Trudy. She'd thought it was just to talk with Gideon, but maybe he'd ordered wood for a new chicken coop. He'd been wanting to rebuild it.

She hoped it was Reuben making the delivery.

She realized in all that had gone on yesterday, she'd forgotten to ask Tim if he'd gotten his job back.

“It's the bishop,” Rose singsonged. “He's getting down.” She turned toward Eve, patting her heart as she grinned.

“Stop it.” Lila glared at her little sister as she spread slices of bread on a cookie sheet to toast. “We don't want Aenti to get married and move away.” It was quite the outburst for Lila. Her face grew red as she turned toward Eve and then whispered, “I'm sorry.”

“No, don't be.” Eve reached out her arms for the girl, giving her a hug. Eve's parents weren't affectionate with Tim or her. She'd learned to be loving with the children from Abra, who'd learned it from her parents.

Eve kissed the top of Lila's head. Her oldest niece had far more insight, of course, than Rose. “Go tell your dad the lumber's here.” Hopefully they were almost done with the milking.

As Lila hurried out the back door, Gideon came in wearing a rain slicker. “
Guder Mariye
,” he said, taking it off and hanging it on an empty peg on the mud porch.

“Morning,” Eve answered.

Rose hurried to his side and took his hand, pulling him to the table. The child had always been outgoing, but since Abra's illness and death she seemed downright needy. “Want some breakfast?”

“No,” he said. “I already ate. But I'd love a cup of coffee.”

“I was just going to make another pot,” Eve said, hopping over to the stove.

“How's your ankle?” Gideon asked.

“Getting better,” she answered, although she wasn't sure it was. She did know it would though, in time.

As the water boiled for the coffee, she scrambled the eggs, stealing glances at Gideon. He
was
kind. And spiritually grounded. Far more than she.

She hoped Tim wouldn't tell Gideon about her behavior the day before. That's all she needed—for the bishop to get involved. She finished the eggs and set them on the back of the stove.

Tim wouldn't say anything. He cared far too much about what others thought to divulge such information. They'd all been under the magnifying glass since Abra fell ill. Tim wouldn't want to bring any more attention to their troubles.

“How is Simon?” Gideon asked.

“Good,” Eve answered, pouring the hot water to make the coffee. “He's going to school. And helping with the chores more. He seems to be doing fine.”

“And how is Tim—” Gideon hesitated—“doing?”

Eve guessed he wondered if Tim had learned his lesson in regard to favoring Simon more than the other children. She doubted he had or ever would, but it wasn't her place to judge her brother. “Jah, better,” she said as Tim came through the back door, taking his hat off and then slipping out of his coat. Thankfully she hadn't elaborated on her answer, not that she would anyway, and especially not in front of Rose.

After telling Gideon hello, Tim thanked him for bringing the lumber.

Gideon simply smiled.

“Have you decided about my job?” Tim asked.

Gideon leaned against the back of the chair. “I've been thinking about it. Why don't we start with two days a week and see how that goes?”

Tim nodded and then retreated to the bathroom to wash up. Eve imagined her brother was pleased. She certainly was.

A few minutes later Simon, Daniel, and Lila came in. The boys shed their wet coats and hats and headed to the bathroom to wash up too.

Tim returned and asked, “Are we ready to eat?”

“Jah,” Eve said, pouring two cups of coffee.

Gideon stepped to the counter and retrieved the cups while Eve dished up the eggs.

“Can you drive the children this morning?” Tim asked. “So I can help Gideon unload the lumber.”

“I'm not in a hurry,” Gideon said. He turned to Eve. “No need to do it if you're not up to it.”

“I can manage,” Eve responded as Simon and Daniel returned to the kitchen. “As long as the boys hitch the horse—and help me into the buggy.”

Simon groaned, but his eyes lit up. She missed his smile.

Lila put the eggs and toast on the table as the boys sat down. After the prayer, Eve told them all to hurry. “We need to leave in fifteen minutes,” she said as she sat down to feed the baby.

When they reached the school, Monika King stood at the bottom of the steps, her umbrella over her head. Jenny stood with her, but when she saw the Lehman children, she waved and hurried up the steps of the school, stopping by the front door. She let the other children go ahead of her and then walked in with Daniel.

Eve expected Monika to head toward her own buggy, but instead she walked toward Eve and then stepped up into the buggy. “Ach,” she said, taking Trudy, “she's so sweet in her sleeper.”

“Jah,” Eve responded, “it's been one of those mornings.” Just like every morning, it seemed.

“I heard you twisted your ankle.”

Eve nodded.

Monika's eyes sparkled. “While you were with the bishop. What in the world was going on?”

Eve laughed. “Is there a rumor spreading already?”

“Already? It happened two days ago.”

“Jah, but I haven't said anything to anyone.”

“Tim did. When he dropped the children off yesterday.” As Monika spoke, Trudy reached for the woman's mouth. Monika laughed and then continued. “We all wondered why you were being lazy.” She kept moving her lips once she'd stopped talking, smiling at the baby as she did.

Eve knew Monika was joking. Kind of. She also thought a lot of women found a perverse satisfaction in seeing her struggle with taking care of Tim and his family. Some of them, surely, felt it was her comeuppance to be responsible for a family without the comfort of having a husband.

“He said you were out for a walk with Gideon when it happened.” Monika nudged Eve with her elbow.

Monika was different than some of the others in their community though. She'd forgiven Eve for her sins of more than a decade ago.

“Jah, we were on a walk.”

“I'm so relieved,” Monika said as she shifted on the buggy seat. “When I saw that Englisch man at our place on Sunday, I was sure, by the way he looked at you, that he was wanting to court you.”

Eve's face warmed even in the cold.

“I know Gideon's a bit older than you, but he's a fine man.” Monika smiled. “I can't think of anyone, besides the Deacon, who would make a better husband.” She had a quirky habit of referring to her husband as
the Deacon
—as if he were the only one. The thing was, in Monika's eyes, he was. She adored him.

Monika continued. “And Gideon's taken with you. I can tell.” Monika paused a moment to smile at the baby again. “I shouldn't say this, but he spoke about you with the Deacon, asking his advice. He wanted to know if he thought there were any red flags.”

Eve's face grew hot.

“Of course there aren't. You've been in good standing. You've proven yourself over the years. Look what you did for Abra and what you're doing for these kids.”