Ambersley (Lords of London) (34 page)

“
It wasn’t Worthing’s place to repeat such stories to you.”

“
No, it was yours.”

“
Mine? I’m not even a member of White’s, how was I to know?”

“
Then it was Derek’s place.” She stalked about the room, her anger continuing to build. To have men treating her as if she were no more than a pawn—it was too demeaning to be borne. “Derek should have put a stop to it.”

“
Aye, if you can trust Worthing’s word. He might be trying to brew trouble.”

“
I doubt that. I’ll take it up with Derek.” So saying, Johanna swept out the door, leaving Harry behind in her disturbed wake.

Fueled by outrage, she defied convention and walked to Grosvenor Square unescorted.

Paget’s smile dimmed when he saw she was alone, but Johanna speared him with her gaze and demanded to see the duke. With a bow, Paget led her to Derek’s private study where he informed her His Grace was out this afternoon. No, His Grace hadn’t said with whom. He’d taken his pair of matched grays and the landau. He was expected for supper, Paget assured her, and had expressed the intention afterward of attending a fireworks display with Miss Sumner and a party of friends.

Upon hearing this news, Johanna announced her intention to wait. Paget took her pelisse and bonnet away and returned with a glass of lemonade and some teacakes.

Johanna waited half an hour with ever-dwindling patience. She ignored the lemonade and teacakes, as she desired no hospitality from Derek. Another quarter hour frayed her temper to the breaking point, and she strode to the sideboard and poured herself a brandy. She downed a dainty portion with a gulp just as Derek, Charis and Lady Sumner entered the room laughing.

Spying Johanna with the open brandy decanter, his laughter stopped abruptly.

Her gaze swept from Derek to the two ladies, and she slammed down her glass.

Derek steered mother and daughter out the door. “Excuse me, Lady Sumner, Miss Sumner. My ward apparently needs to have a private word with me. Paget will show you to the drawing room, and I’ll join you in a few minutes. Paget!”

With Charis and her mother safely out of earshot, Derek turned to scowl at her. “Will you never learn propriety, Johanna? Whatever must Charis Sumner think of you?”

His attitude stung. Charis must have the proprieties protected, but Johanna’s name could be bandied about at his club. “I don’t give a damn what she thinks of me.”

“
Very pretty, my dear.” He opened the door. “Perhaps we should continue this discussion tomorrow.”

“
We’ll discuss this now. I want to know what you said to Geoffrey Ardmore that made him leave town today.”

A crack of laughter escaped him, but he shut the door again. “Left town, did he? I didn’t think I gave him such a scare.”

“
Why should you scare him at all? What threat could he possibly be to you—unless, oh, don’t tell me he had the audacity to ask you for my hand. Could that have been it?”

“
And if it were? He’s a boy. He’s no business proposing to anyone at his age.”

“
Harry tells me there have been seven other men who have offered for me, Derek—
seven of them.
Who were they?”

“
Would you like me to list them alphabetically?” he asked with maddening calm.

“
Damn you—this isn’t a joke!”

“
No, it isn’t. Very well, your suitors were Braithwaite, Terrelson, Campion, Halloran, Penbury, Burton and Goodwyn. Oh, and Ardmore of course. Now,
will
you go home?”

Johanna ignored this blatant attempt to be rid of her. “And did all of them have bets on me at White’s?”

He pinned her with an intense stare. “Did Harry tell you of that, too?”

“
No, Lord Worthing told me.”

Derek’s jaw hardened, and his eyes grew dark and glittery beneath hooded lids. “When did you speak with him?”

“
I came upon him in Cavendish Square today.” She lifted her chin. “He walked me home.”

“
Beware of him, Johanna.” His tone, though quiet, was menacing.

She refused to back down before his anger. “Why do you fear him? So far, he’s been nothing but honest with me.”

An unpleasant laugh broke from him. “Honest? This paragon who sets upon you when I’ve warned him away?” With an effort he uncurled his fingers from the fists they’d formed.

Johanna blinked. Derek hadn’t only warned Lord Worthing away, but Ardmore and all those other suitors, too. Suddenly, she understood. “I refused your offer, and now you’re withholding your consent. And all because I hurt your pride—
your pride.
What about my pride? Oh, I keep forgetting, I’m but a woman, worthy of nothing more than a wager!” Intent on escape, she shouldered past him.

He grabbed her arm, alarmed at how she’d interpreted his actions. “Johanna, wait—”

“
Don’t touch me!” She fought to break free, but Derek’s viselike grip only tightened until she stilled. “I hate you,” she whispered.

“
Maybe so, but we’ll finish this now,” Derek responded grimly. He’d waited patiently, but now he wanted answers. “So think carefully of all the men you’ve met this Season. Is there one among them you favor? Tell me his name, and I’ll send out the banns.”

She chose the name guaranteed to wipe the smirk from his face. “Lord Worthing.”

Derek released her as if she’d bitten him. “Has he addressed you?” he demanded.

Sensing she’d wounded him, Johanna looked away, afraid he’d read her guilty expression. “Not in so many words.”

“
Forget him.”

“
No.” She braved meeting his gaze, unaccustomed to being at odds with him. “All I ask is the freedom to choose my own husband. Do you think me incapable of that?”

Sunlight from the window cast a gleam in his blue eyes. “No, you’re wise enough to know your money makes you very attractive. And that bothers you, doesn’t it?”

With a frown, she looked away, but he tilted her face to look his way again.

“
You want a man to fall in love with you, not for your wealth or even your beauty, but for whom you are inside.” Derek studied her flushed face, the parted lips, the brightness of her eyes, and tried to still the emotions roiling within him. “Perhaps one day a man will come along who steals your heart, and it’ll never beat the same again.”

She became conscious of the pounding of her heart as his arms enfolded her.

“
Perhaps one day, he’ll take you into his arms, and with one kiss he’ll change your destiny.”

Before Johanna could utter a protest, Derek’s mouth swooped down and hungrily claimed hers. She stiffened, shocked by the sudden display of such intense emotion. Almost immediately, his lips became less insistent but more tempting. The soft coaxing caress of his mouth across hers was impossible to withstand. Her arms crept up to his shoulders, and she returned the kiss with an awakening hunger of her own, unwilling to allow this moment to escape. Though she’d secretly imagined this day, the kiss eclipsed her dreams.

As his lips moved to her ear and nape, Johanna found herself shivering against him.
Now,
she thought,
now he would tell her he loved her.

His whisper penetrated her fogged brain. “We were made for each other, Johanna. End this mad quest, for your suitors may profess deep, undying affection, but they desire only your fortune. I, at least, won’t play you false.”

The proud moment shattered, Johanna’s chin tilted up. Without a thought, her balled fist connected with his chin, and snapped his head back. She withdrew a step and nursed her knuckles while Derek rubbed his bruised jaw in disbelief.

“
I wish you were dead,” she said with conviction. She willed her shaking limbs to move and stalked from the room with dignity. She didn’t wait for her bonnet and pelisse, but let herself out the front door.

Derek stood alone in his library for a long time after Johanna left, berating his own stupidity. She’d rejected his proposal, she’d sworn she hated him and she’d admitted to favoring Worthing. Yet, even after all that, Derek had been fool enough to kiss her. His sole excuse was that when she’d said she wanted the freedom to choose her own husband, he’d had an irrational desire to have her choose him. He knew he shouldn’t have pressed her, but he’d needed to prove she still felt something for him.

He smiled ruefully and rubbed his chin again. She felt something—that was certain—though at the moment it was closer to hatred than any form of affection. Derek sank into the chair at his desk and tried to picture his life without Johanna. The bleak canvas filled him with disquiet.

Johanna and Worthing.
The very thought repulsed him. Damn the man for involving himself in Johanna’s affairs. As for the wagering at White’s, Derek had torn the pages from the betting book that listed her name, and made his displeasure clear with the younger members—and some older ones who should have known better. But Worthing hadn’t been present to witness Derek’s gallant defense of his ward. Still, the man had no business repeating such tawdry details to Johanna.

Cushing entered the study and cleared his throat.

Derek glanced up with a sigh. “Cushing, I’m a fool.”

“
Yes, sir. Paget asked me to remind you that Lady and Miss Sumner are still waiting in the drawing room.”

“
Oh, yes.” Derek stood. Damn, he was in no mood to play the besotted suitor to Charis. Unfortunately he had no plausible reason for excusing himself from his duties as host, and so he followed Cushing to the drawing room where Lady Sumner beamed at him, and Miss Sumner never guessed that most of Derek’s thoughts were on another woman.

Lying on her bed in the house on Portman Square, Johanna’s pulse finally slowed to its normal rate. Then, without warning, tears spilled forth a flood of anger, frustration, disappointment and yearning. She muffled her racking sobs with her pillow and tried her best to stifle these unwelcome emotions. She hated him, she reminded herself. He’d had no business kissing her, and
certainly
not when Charis Sumner was waiting for him in the next room.

She needed to forget ever loving him, to wipe from her memory the security of being held in his arms, the thrill of his kiss. He didn’t love her, nor did he respect her. What he’d shown her today was the lust he’d explained to her in her youth. Let some other woman throw caution to the winds and share his bed. Johanna had her pride.
Yes
, responded her pride,
but I’m not fooled. You’d cast me aside in a trice if you thought you could make him love you.

Johanna meekly acknowledged the truth of this, and set about seeking some bright side to the situation. Miserably, she decided, there was none.

Chapter 16

London, June 1815

If Johanna had thought attending the
ton
parties difficult before, following her fight with Derek it became unbearable. Pride forced her to continue the round of gaiety for she was determined Derek should never know she’d spent her tears on him.

Harry noticed the change and commented that her happiness seemed to have a vengeance about it. This drew him a withering look but no reply, and so he let the subject drop. He hoped Derek would tell him what had transpired between them, but his cousin only grunted the one time Harry noted how happy Johanna looked these days. When they met, Johanna and Derek spoke in icy monosyllables and parted company as quickly as decorum allowed, leaving Harry to mutter under his breath that the French court had less intrigue.

Their cold war lasted a fortnight before Rosalie caught wind of it and moved to take advantage of Derek’s lamentable failure to control the heiress. Losing that chit’s fortune was not acceptable. Eagerly, she cornered him at Almack’s. “My dear, we haven’t seen you in Harley Street all Season.”

“
I’ve been busy.” He sipped his lemonade and wrinkled his nose.

She didn’t care for his look of distaste. “Is it true, these rumors I hear about you and the Sumner chit? She’s a fetching little thing, but somehow not just your style.”