Amaury's Hellion (26 page)

He kissed her forehead, then looked into her eyes. “Who are you?” Not only did she block out the emotions bombarding his head, she seemed to understand him on a deeper level, knew what he needed when he needed it. Was it even possible?

Nina shook her head. “I’m nobody. But I recognize pain when I see it.”

And he understood. Having been raised in a foster home couldn’t have been easy. “Tell me about you and Eddie. I read in his file that you guys grew up in a foster home. Must have been hard.”

Nina closed her eyes for a moment before she spoke. “One foster home? Make that three.”

Amaury tucked her closer to his body and pulled the blanket over them. “Tell me what happened. I want to know what turned you into such a tough cookie.”

“You think I’m tough?”

He smiled. “Yes, and I mean that in a good way. I like a strong woman.”

“My parents were on their way back from their anniversary dinner.” There was a faraway look in her eyes, a look which spoke of sadness and longing. “The babysitter let me watch TV while she put Eddie to bed. That’s when the police showed up at the front door.”

She paused and took a few breaths before she continued. “A drunk driver, they said. He ran a red light. I remember my parents like it was yesterday. But Eddie was too small. He would cry sometimes at night because he couldn’t remember what our mother looked like. The first foster family we were placed with was nice to us, but then our foster dad lost his job, and they couldn’t afford to keep us. Eddie was heartbroken, but Social Services just took us away.”

She sighed. “They wanted to split us up at first, because they thought it was easier to place just one of us, but I wouldn’t let go of Eddie. I screamed at everybody who came close to us.”

Amaury brushed his knuckles over her cheek, wanting to comfort her.

“I was twelve when we were sent to another family. I was big for my age and I already had boobs. And that was a problem.”

Amaury’s stomach twisted. He didn’t like where the story was going.

“One day I caught my foster father watching me when I got dressed. He played it down, but I knew that look he had. At first I didn’t say anything because my foster mother was so nice. Eddie really liked it there, and he had friends at school. I didn’t want him to have to move again. But it happened again and again. Until I couldn’t stand it anymore.”

Nina looked at him with big eyes. “I found photos. Not just of me, but also of other girls. The perv was taking photos of us—naked, in the shower or the bath, or when we were getting dressed. He had spy holes all over the house.”

“Oh, my God. What did you do?” Amaury’s hands balled into fists. He knew exactly where he wanted those fists to land.

“I started barricading my door, but my foster mother got suspicious. By the time I was fourteen I wore clothes that would disguise my figure, so he wouldn’t look at me anymore, but he didn’t stop. Then one day I’d forgotten to lock my door and he came in. He touched me, but I kicked him. He was so mad. I knew he would come back that night and hurt me. I picked Eddie up from school and told him we were going camping.”

Amaury planted a soft kiss on her hair. Why couldn’t he have been there to help her when she needed him? “
Chérie
.” It was all he could whisper to her.

“Social Services found us three days later, but in the meantime I’d already sent some of the photos to my foster mother, anonymously of course. When we got back, I saw she’d been crying. A week later Social Services came and picked us up again. She chose her husband over us. She stayed with him, with that perv. And she threw me and Eddie out. How could she choose him over us? We were good kids. He was a bad man.”

Nina choked back the tears. “They blamed me. Eddie did too. He didn’t understand. He was only eleven. They kept us at the orphanage for a while, and I wish we’d stayed there. But Eddie was a cute kid and popular, so they found us another family. After the last one, I didn’t think it could get any worse.”

Amaury felt anger built up inside him.

“Nina, you don’t have to tell me any more. I know this is painful for you. I understand.”

She shook her head. “No, I have to tell you. I’ve done something very bad. And you should know.”

Amaury kissed her lips softly. “Whatever you’ve done, I’m sure it was warranted.”

“I stabbed a man, and if I’d had the courage I would have cut his dick off.”

He winced, his body instinctively jerking at the image she projected. His jaw dropped open, and all he could do was stare at her.

“Yes, I took a knife and almost castrated my third foster father. He came to my room one night and raped me. I knew nobody would believe me if I reported it—he was an upstanding citizen, well respected in town. I knew he’d do it again. But I was prepared the next time.”

Amaury listened with bated breath.

“When he touched me again with his filthy hands, I reached for the knife underneath my pillow and stabbed him. There was so much blood. Only my cowardice saved me from actually cutting his dick off. Instead, I just twisted the knife in his stomach. He screamed, and my foster mother came running just as I’d thrown him off me. I threatened her too. And then I played back the recording I’d made on my little hand-held tape recorder. I always used it in school to tape my teachers, but I kept it close-by because I knew I would need it as evidence one day. On the recording my foster mother could hear what he’d been trying to do to me.

“I made sure she realized that I’d destroy them and their precious reputation if either one of them ever touched me or Eddie again. And I had the proof to make it happen.”

“What happened to the bastard?” If he wasn’t dead yet, Amaury would be happy to do the deed himself. He felt a swell of fury rise in his stomach.

“He survived. She called an ambulance and told them what I told her to say: that her husband surprised a burglar and was stabbed by him. I made sure all the evidence pointed to it by the time the police arrived: I broke a window from the outside and hid my bloody sheets
.
Of course they didn’t find the guy, and of course they tried to sniff out what was going on, but all they had to go on was our testimony.  There was nothing they could really do.
By the time he got out of the hospital, I’d brought a copy of the recording to a safe place with instructions to make it public if anything ever happened to me or Eddie.”

“A safe place?”

“A mail box at one of those mailbox places in another town with instructions to open the box and send its contents to the county sheriff if anything happened to me.”

“And then?”

“I had almost two more years left to my eighteen’s birthday. Those months living with them were hell, but he didn’t touch me, too afraid I’d make good on my threat. When I applied to become Eddie’s guardian on my eighteen’s birthday, they supported my application. I had two jobs by that time, working constantly, I could support us. They wanted me gone, so they did everything to help me leave.”

Amaury swallowed hard. How could an eighteen year old girl take on such responsibility while dealing with her own pain? How much had she suffered? “How could you even stay with them after what he did to you? Why didn’t you go to the police?”

“I had no choice. I couldn’t risk a long drawn-out trial. I stabbed a man. It would have taken months to prove that I acted in self-defense. I couldn’t risk being separated from Eddie. They would have sent him somewhere else while all this was going on. No, it was too risky. I needed to stay with Eddie. It was the only way.”

“Don’t you think it was riskier to assume they’ll give you guardianship of your brother? You were only eighteen, for God’s sake.” What were the chances of her application not just being tossed out immediately?

“As I said, my foster father was a respectable citizen, and he knew people. He pulled some strings with the judge, that’s how badly he wanted all this to go away. I was a thorn in his eye. As soon as I became Eddie’s guardian, we left, We moved around a lot until we landed here in San Francisco.”

Amaury grunted. He wished the asshole had bled to death rather than survived. He didn’t deserve living, raping a sixteen year old. His sweet Nina, putting her through horror like that. The thought of wanting to kill somebody coiled through him. He felt his body tense and harden.

“So, you see. I did a terrible thing, stabbing him, wanting to kill him. I did it on purpose. I knew what I was doing, and still I did it.”

Nina turned her head away from him and buried it in the pillow. He didn’t know what to do. Pull her into his arms? Give her space? Why couldn’t he read her emotions so he would know what to do now?

“I’m sorry, Nina.” Amaury couldn’t find any words, not when rage coursed through his veins. Somebody had hurt her, and he wanted to retaliate, hurt that man even more. He put his hand on her shoulder and flinched, pulling it back instantly—his fingers had turned into sharp claws. He felt his jaw itch and his fangs push through, unable to prevent his vampire side from appearing. No, he couldn’t let himself go like that in front of her. The last thing she’d want to see right now was another violent man, especially after he’d attacked her in his sleep. He had to tamp down his anger first before he could pull her back into his arms.

“Sleep a little longer. I’ll let you rest.”

Amaury turned his head away and avoided looking at her. He knew his eyes flashed red. He glanced down at his hands—lethal weapons. No, he couldn’t touch her right now, as much as he longed to comfort her. He wasn’t in control of himself. “I’m sorry.”

He got out of bed and, naked as he was, walked into the living room, pulling the door shut behind him.

In one corner, his punching bag hung suspended from the ceiling. He headed straight for it. That was what he needed: to punch something if he couldn’t punch her rapist or any of the other men who’d hurt her. Amaury slammed his fists viciously into the bag. He would kill any man who hurt her. Nina was his to protect now. Nobody would ever hurt her again. He’d make sure of that.

***

Amaury hadn’t come back to bed after Nina had told him about her past. She could easily guess why: he was horrified about what she’d done. And what was probably worse, she’d been raped, and what man wanted to deal with that? Nobody wanted that. Least of all a man like Amaury who could have any woman he wanted. He could have a woman who didn’t carry the kind of emotional baggage she did.

He probably already regretted having slept with her. His “I’m sorry” had dripped with pity. She guessed he’d spent the remaining hours of the day thinking about how he could extricate himself gracefully from this relationship. Nina would make it easy on him. She wouldn’t stay where she wasn’t wanted.

As Nina let the warm water of the shower run over her body, she knew she should have never opened up to him. She’d been lulled into feeling safe by his gentle words and by his admissions of his own past. At first it had been a shock to hear what he’d done, but she had found it in her heart to forgive him, because he’d not been himself. The pain in his eyes when he spoke of his son had cut deep into her own heart.

But when it had come to her own guilt, Amaury hadn’t been able to do the same. She’d instantly felt his hesitation at even touching her, until he’d finally pulled away completely—as if he was disgusted with her. In the moment where she’d needed his touch most, he’d denied her, he’d withdrawn.

He’d rejected her, just like everybody else had done so before him. Like her foster mother had rejected her after she’d exposed her husband as a pervert. Even knowing that her husband was abusing young girls, she’d still chosen him over Nina. Her self worth at that point couldn’t have been any lower—until now: being rejected by Amaury after opening her heart to him was even more painful.

Nina dreaded facing him now. She didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes or the regret. Maybe he’d keep her around for a little while longer so it wouldn’t be too obvious that he didn’t want her anymore, but she would know.

She wouldn’t let this happen. She would leave—on her own terms. And there was only one way to do it: defend her aching heart by attacking him. She couldn’t let him know how much she hurt. It would only make it worse.

Nina stepped out of the shower and dried off before she dressed in the clothes from the night before.

She found Amaury in the living room where one corner doubled as a small gym. He was dressed in gym shorts. His upper body was bare, his muscles flexing with every move he made, his skin glistening with sweat.

He greeted her with a cautious look. “You’re up.”

“Yes, I took a shower. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No. No, of course not.”

Was this nervousness he displayed? He wiped his face with a towel then took a few steps toward her. Midway he seemed to change his mind and stopped.

“Can I leave you alone for an hour? I need to go feed.”

The words didn’t immediately sink in. “Feed?”

He nodded, his eyes remaining cautious. “I didn’t feed last night, and the night before I already barely had any blood.”

So she had understood right after all. Amaury was planning to go out and drink somebody’s blood. Good—it provided her with just the right ammunition to make her exit.

“You’re going out to bite somebody?”

The look he launched her could only be described as stubborn. “I need blood to survive.”

Nina knew what a vampire needed. “What’s wrong with mine?” Would he take the bait? Would he go in for the fight she tried to pick so she could leave with her head high?

His eyes wide, he stomped toward her and grabbed her shoulders. “Are you crazy? You don’t know what you’re saying. You can’t possibly want me to bite you.”

The moment he said it, a realization hit her like a thunderbolt.

She wanted him to bite her.

She wanted him to drink her blood.

Her life wouldn’t be complete without Amaury taking her. And in that instance of realization, she felt more fear clamp down on her than ever before in her life.

With the strength she thought she didn’t have, Nina shook off his hands. “Get away from me!” If she stayed, she would become his toy, something he could push around any which way he wanted, because she would have no strength to resist him. She couldn’t allow this. She could never again be at the mercy of a man, no matter how much she desired him. No matter how much her heart ached for him.