Always Us (We Were Us Series Book 2) (9 page)

“What is it with you and couches?” Michelle laughed.

“Andrew’s couch is pretty though. Red leather.”

“Nice. So tell me what happened.” She was eager for a story so I told her everything.

CHAPTER TEN

The next morning I rolled out of bed, tangling myself further in tulle and satin of the dress I’d fallen asleep in. Michelle looked like an angel in hers, but mine had twisted so that my boobs were squished awkwardly against my chest, the plastic beads stabbing into me.

“Ouch,” I groaned.

“What?” Michelle said, just waking up.

“Look,” I said and pointed to my chest.

“Ew. Nice.” She rolled off the bed and stood up. Her dress looked perfect, as did her hair.

“How do you manage to look like you just walked out of hair and makeup, even after seven hours of sleep in a tiny bed with me?”

“It’s a gift,” she said and flipped her auburn hair behind her.

We laughed and both undressed. I threw on a pair of her jeans and a purple tank top with a button up turquoise and purple plaid shirt.

“I look country,” I said to Michelle.

“You look fine. Here put on these cowboy boots.” She winked at me and tossed her boots over in my direction.

I held them up and laughed. “Okay.”

“Perfect,” she said. She had on running shorts and a t-shirt.

“Well, I guess I’m heading out. I might stop by the café for pancakes or something.”

“Mom can make you some.”

“No, I just need to get going.” Mrs. Banks’ less than warm reception of me didn’t scream
stay longer in my house
. Michelle could update her on school and such. She needed the time with her family, I needed time alone.

“My mom doesn’t hate you.”

“I know.”

“You should stay, it’s Thanksgiving. Just stay.”

“I can’t. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

“Okay,” she said with a frown. “Well, have a good weekend. I hope you get laid!” Michelle threw a pillow at me.

“Michelle!” I tossed the pillow back at her. I secretly hoped so too. Getting inches from sex with Andrew made me want him even more.

Five minutes later, I slipped out of her house and pulled into the Town and Country Café. I didn’t see Josh’s midnight blue truck so I walked right up to the register and ordered a small stack of pancakes and two sides of bacon to go. I loved bacon and Becky, the cook, fried it up just right so it was crispy and dripping with grease.

They’d remodeled since I’d last been in. There was a new white tiled counter along the back wall, with short red bar stools lining it. Red and white diamond patterned tile covered the floor where it was once yellow and peeling. The walls were a soft cream instead of dingy wood paneling. I guess I’d never realized how dark it had been in there. Now it was bright and new. I sat on one of the red bar stools and flipped through a car magazine someone had left behind while I waited for my food.

“Jenna?” A soft voice called from behind me.

I spun around to see Josh’s mom, Mrs. Riley, sitting in a booth. A mug of steaming coffee in front of her along with a glass of water. She didn’t have a plate of food yet, so either she was waiting like I was, or she was waiting for someone to join her.

Dread washed over me and I prayed it didn’t show on my face. I’d bet a million dollars that she was waiting for Josh. I glanced quickly at the pick-up window, but I didn’t see my food. I could see that Becky was flipping my pancakes though, so I hoped she finished before Josh got here.

I turned back to Mrs. Riley and waved. She motioned for me to come over so I hopped off the stool and snaked my way through the tables to her.

I leaned down to hug her, “Hey, how are you?” I said.

She was thinner than she was over the summer. Her cardigan hung off her shoulders. Her face was thin and her cheeks were sunken in a little under her cheekbones. Her hair was tied loosely in a bun with tendrils that fell around her face.

“Today is a good day.” She said and cleared her throat.

“Good.”

Her comment was strange, were her days not usually good? Her smile was weak and almost forced. Her once vibrant, chestnut hair, was now dull and brittle and she was pale, like she hadn’t been out of the house in years.

“Good,” I repeated. I didn’t know what else to say so I just continued to smile at her.

In the next moment, several things happened all at once. The bell above the door jingled, letting everyone know someone had entered the café, Becky hollered that my food was ready in the pickup window, and Mrs. Riley knocked over her coffee mug with a clatter. Even with all the commotion that had just happened, my eyes were fixed on the person who’d walked through the front door. Josh. My heart was in my throat, my hand was pressed firmly against the table, holding me in place as everything around me spun out of control. Mrs. Riley’s spilled coffee trickled over my fingers, but I hardly noticed because Josh was here.

It had been almost three months since I’d seen him, but my heart still skipped a beat and the butterflies in my stomach fluttered at the sight of him. His sandy, blond hair was windblown, probably from driving with the windows down. It was unseasonably warm so I didn’t blame him. I couldn’t look away from him, his blue eyes held my gaze.

“Jenna, your food’s up,” Becky said again, startling me.

I took a step back then turned away without a word and wiped my wet fingers on my pants.

What was I supposed to say? Hi? My heart was still racing when I grabbed my food and headed for the door. Josh was standing at his mom’s table, leaning close to her. I could hear them talking as he mopped up the spilled coffee, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. I paused at the door and looked back at them. Josh stood up and took steps toward me. I pushed the door open and ran out to my car. I threw my bag of food into the passenger’s seat, backed out of the parking spot, and floored the gas. The tires spun in the gravel, and rocks flew around me but I didn’t check the rearview mirror to see if he was watching me leave.

I took a deep breath and let it out in an attempt to calm myself. Just seeing Josh had brought back all the memories of last summer. The couch, the river, his truck, his mouth.

I slammed my hands on the wheel. Why was I letting him get to me like this? He was officially in my head, he dictated every decision I made. I wasn’t spending Thanksgiving with the only family I had left because I didn’t want to run into him and I just did. I should just turn around and stay with Michelle.

But I didn’t.

Me:
I’m heading home
I texted to Andrew

Andrew:
Home home, or here home

Me:
Brookhaven

Andrew:
good :)

I kept driving straight on the highway to Brookhaven and Andrew. My phone beeped. I swiped to unlock it and a text from Josh popped up.

Josh:
Are you in town?

Me:
not anymore

Josh:
What were you doing here?

Me:
Dropping off Michelle and Lauren

Josh:
You aren’t staying for Thanksgiving

Me:
No

Josh:
why not

He was giving me the third degree here even though he had no right to. I didn’t have to answer to him. And I shouldn’t be texting and driving.

Me:
because I have plans in Brookhaven

Josh:
With a guy?

He was jealous. Of Andrew. Of nothing really, because he didn’t even know about Andrew.

No, a man
I typed, but quickly deleted it.

Me:
Yes

Josh:
Who

Me:
None of your business

I was a chicken. I should have sent what I typed first, but I didn’t want to be that girl. The one who was a bitch to her exes. That wasn’t me.

I flipped on the radio and turned it up as loud as I could stand it. I didn’t recognize the song, but I just needed the distraction from my thoughts.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I pulled into the driveway and saw Andrew’s car parked in Stefanie’s spot. I was mildly concerned, but I’d given him a key at the beginning of the year in case he needed anything or if I locked myself out, which was the more likely scenario.

The door was unlocked so I just walked in. It was dark I flipped on the lights. What I saw before just took my breath away.

I first looked up. One of my scarves, a purple one, had been tacked over the dome light in the living room and casted a romantic violet glow around the room. Soft, classical music filtered out from the kitchen, along with the most heavenly scent I’ve ever encountered. Food. Rose petals littered the floor and I giggled at the cheesiness of them, but I was instantly in love with the place.

“Jenna?” Andrew called, also from the kitchen.

“Present,” I said in a little sing-song voice.

“You’re early.”

“Sorry?”

He walked towards me, wiping his hands on his jeans. “No, it’s good. I just wasn’t expecting you until a little later. You made good time.” He was right, I’d sped the whole way home.

He hugged me quickly, then, grasped my arms and gave me a once over.

“Um, should I leave and come back?”

“Absolutely not,” he said with a grin.

“Okay.” I had no idea what he was so smiley about, but I smiled along with him.

“God, you’re beautiful.” I blushed and looked down at my ridiculous outfit. I kicked off the cowboy boots and set down my purse.

I met his dark eyes just before he pulled me into one of his famous kisses. All the anxiety I’d been feeling on the drive home, left me.

“Thank you,” I said when we broke the kiss.

He smiled and kissed me softly again then led me into the kitchen. Our small, round, two person dining room table was adorned with a black satin table cloth, white napkins, white plates and a centerpiece of white day lilies in a clear vase that sat on a square mirror.

“Did you cook for me?” I asked as he sat me at the table. He flicked the napkin open and placed it in my lap.

“I did.”

“What did you make?”

“Lamb.”

“Lamb?”

“Yeah, turkey is so cliché.”

“It’s Thanksgiving,” I said flatly.

“Lamb is romantic,” he said and kissed me softly again as he set more empty dishes on the table. “I wanted to show you how much I like you.”

I knew how much he liked me. We’d almost had sex, I thought to myself.

In that instant I understood how flawed my thinking was and what exactly Andrew was thinking. He wanted to show me how much he liked me for just me. He didn’t care about our physical relationship. Well, he did, but he also cared about
me
as a person. He wanted to show me that he wanted to spend time with me and cooking for me was his way of telling me that.

“How much longer? It smells amazing?”

“Ten minutes.”

I sat at the table and watched him move around my tiny kitchen. There was a pot on every burner that he stirred or sprinkled seasonings into and on the lamb that was in the oven.

He walked over to me and shoved a spoon in my face, “taste.” So I did. It was heavenly.

“What is that?”

He didn’t say anything, he just leaned in and kissed me. Not softly this time. His tongue tasted of the same sauce he’d just fed me, and he smelled of food. Both so delicious, I could just skip dinner and keep kissing him all night. He curled his tongue around mine, then pulled away slowly.

“You ready to eat?” he asked, looking up at me briefly and smiled.

“Yes.” I breathed. His smile had completely disarmed me.

He set a plate before me. It had a lamb leg on it covered with some kind of white sauce, next to the lamb were five stalks of asparagus also covered in sauce but it was yellow. Also on the plate was mixed fruit, maybe mango, pineapple, and some strawberries. It looked absolutely delicious. Andrew hadn’t joined me yet, he was crouched down in front of a cupboard next to the fridge. He stood up slowly and produced a bottle of wine and two tall wine glasses. He popped the cork of some sparkling grape juice and poured us each a glass. He set mine next to my plate then sat across from me at the table.

“Try it,” he said. This time he was staring right at me. I felt a little self-conscious. I’d never eaten lamb before so I wasn’t really sure where to start, plus I wasn’t sure what the sauces were. I’m not scared to try new foods, but I like to know what I’m eating before I put it in my mouth.

“What’s the white sauce on the lamb?” I asked timidly.

Instead of answering he reaches over and takes my plate from me and proceeds to cut my meat for me. He forks a small piece and holds it out to me.

“Try it,” he said again and waits for me to take the bite. I kind of feel like I’m five and my dad is making me try something by force feeding me, but the look on Andrew’s face isn’t that of annoyance, but of amusement.

I returned his stare and leaned forward without breaking eye contact and retrieved the piece of lamb from the fork and chewed. It’s soft, warm, and minty. I closed my eyes and savored the flavors. I loved it.

“Good?” he asked.

“Yes”

“Do you want more?” he asked.

“Yes, but I think I can feed myself now,” I said quickly and I didn’t look at him.

This is a side of Andrew I wasn’t used to seeing. Friendship came first for us, so we joked around with each other. We were serious when we needed to be and had grown comfortable with each other over the last year to the point where you’d think we were married some days.

He slid my plate back to me and picked up his fork and started cutting his own food. I watched him eat, mesmerized by his movements as he put the lamb into his mouth, and slipped it off the fork with his lips. I’m usually grossed out by people eating and chewing. At restaurants, I go to great lengths to avoid having to see people shove food in their mouths, but I can’t help but stare at Andrew. I watched him as he set his fork down on the side of his plate and pick up the napkin to wipe the corner of his mouth. All I can think is that I’m jealous of the napkin. I wanted to kiss the corner of his mouth

“Are you going to eat or do I have to keep feeding you?” I’m vaguely aware that he’d spoken to me but my brain can’t comprehend the words. I still can’t help but watch his mouth move when he speaks.

His hand waved in front of my eyes effectively snapping me out of my trance.

“Jenna, hello. Earth to Jenna.”

“Oh my God. I’m sorry. I was lost in thought” I was flustered. I quickly turned back to my food and tried picking up my fork and knife but ended up flinging the fork across the room and it hit the far wall and clanged loudly as if fell to the hard wood floors. We both just stared at the fork after watching its trajectory path.

“Um, I’ll get you a new fork.” Getting up, he walked around into the kitchen and rummaged around in a drawer and set the fork down in front of me. I held my head in my hands and was staring down at my food as he did this. I was embarrassed, to say the least.

I pick up my new fork and push the fruit around on my plate. I stabbed a strawberry and ate it. The whole fork thing just now threw me off, plus Josh was still on my mind. The way he looked when he’d walked in to the café. I knew he’d seen my car and knew he’d find me inside. His eyes had been wild, searching for me. Once he’d found me, they fixed on me. His eyes never leaving mine.

My phone rang, interrupting my thoughts.

“No phones tonight,” Andrew said as he took away my phone. I watched him power it down and set it on the counter.

I didn’t even see who it was, but I guessed Josh.

“Who was it?” I asked. I didn’t know if he’d seen the caller ID or not.

“Josh,” he said and turned away from me and shoved a strawberry in his mouth. His body language had changed, he was now hunched over his plate, his free arm encircling his plate, his fork poised just above the food.

“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say so pushed the asparagus around my plate.

“It’s hollandaise sauce,” Andrew said quietly. “It’s safe to eat, I promise.” His voice was hard. He was mad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked and set down my fork.

“Why is he still calling you?”

I didn’t know what to say. He and I hadn’t talked much about Josh other that I had a fling with him over the summer. I didn’t think he knew that we’d slept together. I’d been hoping to always keep them separate in my head so they never took up the same space. My head spun with what I should say next.

“I don’t know,” I finally said.

He deserved to know. And he’d probably figure it out sooner or later. I had to tell him.

“What happened over the summer?” There. He’d asked it.

“I don’t want to talk about him,” I deflected. “I want to eat more lamb.” That was my lame attempt at a subject change.

“Jenna,” He grabbed my hand. “He’s obviously important to you and you’re important to him, or he wouldn’t keep calling.” Tension rolled off of him.

“He’s not though. Not. I didn’t want to think about him or talk about him.”

“Fine.” He was still mad, but his tension had released a little.

“Now what?” I blurted out. I didn’t like the thickening silence.

“Well, I’d planned on eating taking a little longer and you eating a little more than three bites of lamb and a strawberry.”

“Sorry, Michelle and I were up, like, all night and I woke up early.”

“I see.”

“Andrew, I don’t want to ruin this night. Look what you did. You obviously had plans,” I winked at him.

“Did you just wink at me?” All remaining tension burst when he smiled at me.

“Maybe,” I winked again.

“Are you done eating?” he asked quickly. He stood up and cleared the plates without getting my answer.

He squeezed past me and grabbed my hand as he led me into the living room. I hadn’t noticed before, but there was faux fur rug on the floor in front of the fake fire place/media center/space heater thing we had. It didn’t blow out heat anymore, but it did created a nice ambiance.

He sat on the rug and pulled me down with him.

“Are we going to do it on the floor on a furry rug?” I asked, petting the rug.

“Do you want to?” He pushed my hair back off my neck and kissed me there.

I didn’t answer. I just let him continue to kiss me. He slipped his hands under my shirt and pulled it over my head. He took his off too and I felt bad for not taking his off myself. So I fiddled with his belt and unbutton his pants.

He kissed my cheek and made a move to unsnap my bra which would have left me topless. I wanted more than anything to give into my desires of him. I wanted so badly to feel him pressed against me, my hands tangled in his wild hair, his hands roaming my body, my name on his lips in a moment of pure passion.

But instead, I leaned back and looked away from him.  

“So, I’m sorry,” I said weakly.

Andrew’s hands fell to his sides in defeat. I’d chickened out again.

For the second time, I’d let him get naked in front of me and then stopped. I couldn’t keep blaming my inadequacy in this department on Josh, but he really was boggling my mind. Why was he still calling me? Maybe I just hadn’t made it clear enough to him that I didn’t want to be with him anymore? I thought I was pretty clear. Maybe there was something else. But what? I laughed to myself. The only way to get that answer would be to talk to Josh and that just wasn’t an option for me right now.

“Jenna. It’s seriously fine.” But I could tell it wasn’t. He was annoyed with me and probably a little frustrated, sexually.

“It’s not though,” I said and watched him pull his pants back up over his muscular legs.

I never realized how fit Andrew was. Did he run? Lift weights? My eyes traveled up to his waist, then torso. There wasn’t a six pack, but there was definition I was suddenly dying to touch. Why was I denying myself this man? This man who actually wanted me? Why did he want me? Why was I suddenly questioning everything about my love life? Why was I so worried about my love life? I’m nineteen for god’s sake!

“Jenna?” Andrew asked with a concerned look.

‘Yeah?”

“Are you okay? You look lost.”

“Yeah.” I watched his face change from confusion to his trademark half smile as he pulled his shirt over his head.

I slipped my arms around him and hugged him tight.

“You sure?” He wrapped his arms around my and squeezed me.

“I’m a little broken right now. This summer was tough. It was hard to go back, hard to see my mom. Hard to see Josh I guess. I don’t want to talk about it, but I’m mending. Okay?”

“Of course baby. I’m here.” He squeezed me a little tighter. I replayed the way he said baby. Josh had said it to me on our date back in Riverview. I remember not liking him calling me that, but I liked it when Andrew did.

“I slept with Josh,” I blurted out. He needed to know what was going on in my head. “And I keep comparing you two. I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I can’t get him off my mind.” Words spilled from my mouth and I couldn’t stop them. Andrew didn’t need to know that.