Always Mine (41 page)

Seeing his startled eyes, Brianna giggled.

“I believe I have shocked my new brother by law.” Alana exaggerated a deep sigh. “My lord, your wife comes by her tongue naturally. One day, I visited Brianna at Ridley, and I stubbed my toes on a sharp rock. Not realizing Father Jacob was behind us, I grabbed my foot and cried out ‘Lucifer’s Hades.’ In a trice, he had Brianna, Elise and me on our knees and lectured us.

“The poor dear had just left when Brianna whispered, ‘Will blisters on my knees make up for it if I say cursed Lucifer’s toes, but they hurt?’ Uncle Simon came around the path and nearly called Father Jacob back, before we persuaded him we would be more careful in the future.”

Brianna snuggled her ear close to Damron’s chest to enjoy the rumble of his laughter coming from deep within. He had a beautiful, rich baritone of a laugh she had heard so seldom.

Once in their chambers, he settled her comfortably on the bed. Alana and Brianna were soon engrossed in deciding which would be better on such a chilly day—hot porridge with cream or a steaming bowl of vegetables and meat soup.

He eased the door shut and left to seek out Bleddyn.

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* * *

Damron led the Welshman deep into the forest, where he finally brought Angel to a halt. Wordless, he swung down to the ground and turned to study Bleddyn’s face. He was tired of the Welshman’s half truths. What did the man know about Brianna? What secret did they keep from him? Bleddyn’s warnings that she was not as other women, that she could leave yet still be here, did not make sense. How could she become a meek, biddable woman, and yet still be Brianna?

Damron wanted answers. And he wanted them now.

“All of it. I want to know all of it.” Damron circled Bleddyn like a prowling wolf. Every muscle in his body tensed until his skin felt like it was stretched over stone. “Ye have hinted Brianna is not as other women, yet always have ye and Brianna hidden the truth. That is not all of it. This morn, when I held her on my lap, I sensed something was terribly wrong.

How can I help her if I dinna know what foe I am fightin’?”

“Brianna feared to tell you everything,” Bleddyn said.

“Afraid? Nay. Brianna is not afeared of any man,” Damron said with a disbelieving huff. He narrowed his eyes at Bleddyn.

“Not even if she felt the man would think her brainsick, or a witch? That he might lock her away in some distant tower?”

Cocking his head, Bleddyn waited for Damron’s answer.

“What tale could she tell that she thinks so unbelievable?”

He stopped, his boots near touching Bleddyn’s own, then braced his hands on his hips and waited.

As Bleddyn spoke, Damron felt like his feet were rooted deep in the ground, as unable to move as a tall pine tree. Bleddyn’s words rolled over him, at first like icy rain spilling over his skin. His arms prickled, his scalp crawled. Then, as Bleddyn said that Brianna, the woman Damron could not imagine living in a world without, could somehow be whisked away to a future time, he felt afire. He shook his head, swallowed

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and stepped back, as if distancing himself from the words would make them go away.

“Nay! Her soul? Her soul would be different? She would become that mindless girl that fled Saint Anne’s Abbey?”

Damron stalked back and forth as Bleddyn explained how Brianna’s soul had matured over the centuries, had made her the feisty woman he knew today.

Damron didn’t want the shell that would be the Brianna of the eleventh century. He wanted
his
Brianna. He had to keep her. Always.

Anguish ripped through him. His mind near exploded with it. He drew the broadsword strapped to his back. With a roar that sent creatures of the forest scurrying, he raised his blade high, twirled on his toes and brought it whirling and singing through the air to slash at every branch, tree and rock that he saw. His cape swirled about him, his hair flew out to whip his face, sting his eyes. And still, he roared like a wounded boar.

Finally, his breath caught on an endless sob. He fell to his knees, leaned forward, his forehead pressed to the damp forest leaves.

How long he stayed there, his face pressed to the earth, he did not know. He stayed on his knees, drenching the forest floor with his tears. Until he came to grips with what he had learned, he didn’t move. Finally, Angel snuffled against his shoulder. Damron lifted his head and pushed up to his knees.

He was alone. Though he had prayed till his mind was numb, he looked up at the darkening sky with one last prayer.

“Please.” One word. No more than that.

Damron kept close within Brianna’s call, helping her in every way and showing her loving concern. He held her close at night and, when she became restless, sang to her until she quieted. He whispered into her sleeping ear how much he loved her.

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“Promise me! Promise me ye will ne’er leave me,” he begged her again and again.

Her husband’s close attention sometimes discomfited Brianna, for he insisted he tend her in her evening bath. He trusted no one else to aid her into the tub and sent Mari away.

He bathed her, silently watching the changes in her body. Her face became more pallid, her veins clearly visible through her skin. Though her stomach and breasts grew larger, the rest of her body thinned and weakened.

One day, seeing a rash on her back, his hand stilled in shock.

He swallowed his fear as he rinsed and dried her with a large cloth. He slipped a light shift over her head, laid her on the bed and told her not to move. He charged out the door, almost collid-ing with Bleddyn. Damron’s eyes searched the healer’s, and his blood ran cold. He stood aside as Bleddyn entered the chamber and went to her bedside. She held out an arm, and they saw the rash spreading there. Alana arrived in seconds. Damron knelt beside the bed, taking Brianna’s hand in his. He held it tight to his chest and studied her eyes.

“Brianna, my love, dinna fear me. Bleddyn has told me of yer secret, but I knew ye did not wish to speak of it. I have known for days somethin’ terrible is happenin’ to yer body, and I want to help ye through it. Please dinna shut me out any longer.” His throat worked in fear as he spread her hair around her thin face.

“Oh, my heart. I know you have not felt life in our bairn since”—she swallowed past the lump in her throat—“since at least a fortnight. My body has refused to give her up, and it’s my fault. I wanted her, our daughter, so very much that I wouldn’t allow myself to let her go. I can’t fight it any longer.

By morning it will be over.”

“How long have ye known this fearsome thing, love?”

“From that day on the parapets.” Brianna’s low voice was full

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of sorrow. Tears streamed down her face as she looked up at him.

“I’m so sorry, my love, but our little one left us then. Promise me you will bury her in hallowed ground. Father Matthew must say the prayers for her soul, and Nathaniel will have his ancient ceremony to see she is given her rightful place.

“Our daughter, Faith, must have a marker that each generation will promise to keep refinished, so it will last throughout the centuries. When it is time for each of you to pass, you will have taught your families to see that every name and year is kept distinct.

Centuries later, those who come after you will read their histories set in solid stone. No one will be forgotten.”

Brianna gasped as her stomach gave a giant heave. She had felt smaller surges for days now and knew her time was near.

Bleddyn went to the door where Connor and Malcolm stood guard. David waited with a short, narrow table covered with a pallet. Taking it from him, Bleddyn brought it into the room. Lady Phillipa covered the pallet with soft linen. Alana pulled over a table loaded with cloths they had prepared for this day.

Smiling, Brianna turned to Lady Phillipa. “Thank you for loving me as your daughter. Nathaniel and Alana will explain all to you later, but it would be best if no one else enters this room.” She gasped as another spasm racked her body. “Kiss them for me and tell them I love them dearly. Please send in Mereck. I must speak with him.” She kissed Phillipa’s cheek and tasted the salty tears there. Mereck entered right away and went straight to her.

“Little sister, how can I help ye through this?”

“Damron needs your strength. Know I love you as a brother when I ask if you will stay with us. It’s against custom for men to tend women in childbirth, but I’m not like other women.”

“I will do whatever I can to help ye both,” Mereck promised.

Brianna tried to smile through a wave of pain. Gritting her teeth, she held tight to Damron’s hands.

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“We must move you, my little one,” Bleddyn told her.

Damron lifted Brianna, uncertain how to place her on the table so her head and feet would not dangle over the ends.

Bleddyn had him lay just her body on the table, then placed a thick pillow beneath her head and shoulders to raise her. He took her feet and placed them in a strange extension attached at the end of the table, and covered her with one of the large, sterile sheets. Damron started to object, but Brianna insisted.

“Nathaniel had the table made from my drawings, love. It will help me.”

Bleddyn worked swiftly to arrange everything around the room. Though he knew she would refuse it, he made a potion of poppy seeds to give her should the time come when she could take no more pain.

Bleddyn and Alana had everything ready. Damron shivered in horror when he saw the equipment Bleddyn unwrapped and laid out on pristine white cloths. They looked like instruments of torture.

“Alana,” Brianna whispered, and her sister’s face was immediately pressed to hers. “You know something wonderful?”

“What is it, sweetling?”

“You will be my mother in another time. I’ve recognized you since the first time I knew of you, and I’ve loved you.

Promise me that if anything threatens your abbey you will give up the life you led for my sake. Father had no right to cloister you away, and I know he would want you to be happy with Nathaniel.”

“I promise, little sister.” Alana turned a worried face to Bleddyn. “She burns with fever, love.”

“Mereck, please stand behind me, and don’t watch my pitiful attempts,” Brianna said. “Alana and Damron, place yourselves on either side of me and do as I tell you each time I ask.”

They were no sooner in place when another wave of pain racked her. The right side of her stomach swelled near to

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bursting and was hard as stone, while the left softened, its muscles slack.

“Damron, massage my womb on the left while Alana holds the right firm.” They did as she asked. She panted until the spasm had passed, and her stomach returned to its round shape.

Gorge rose in Damron’s throat. He swallowed and gasped huge gulps of air, and felt Mereck’s arm tighten around his shoulder in comfort. Damron looked mutely at him and, before anyone knew what he meant to do, he held Brianna up and slid her pillows to the floor. He climbed onto the table behind her, with his legs dangling on the side and her body rested back against his. He took her hands and held them tight in his own. Mereck took Damron’s place beside Brianna.

Every pain that struck through her, Damron felt in his own body. He willed his strength into her.

A scream of agony tore from her body, her soul. A scream Lydia had never allowed herself to release, but Brianna now let burst through bitten lips.

The anguished outcry reverberated throughout the room and into the forest depths.

It was a sound so primitive that Guardian and the dogs of the keep howled. The birds in the mews screeched. The wolves and beasts in the forest stopped, gave an echo of the pain of her soul and bolted.

Brianna’s cry did not stop until she knew nothing was left for her body to do. She opened grieving eyes and looked at Bleddyn.

She panted for breath, but had to speak.

“Please, Nathaniel. Let Alana clean her so I may hold her this one time.”

Bleddyn nodded and tenderly handed the small body to Alana. Alana bit her lip, then did as Brianna asked, and when she was done, she placed a soft cloth round the tiny body.

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Fighting back sobs, Brianna blinked at the bundle in her arms.

She was a perfectly formed girl, her hair black like her father’s.

Brianna cuddled her to her face and kissed her, her murmurs breaking every heart in the room.

“Oh, my sweet babe. I wanted you so from the moment you were placed in my body. I’m so sorry I failed to keep you safe. You must wait for me. We’ll be together again. I promise.” She moaned, then whispered huskily to Damron. “I am sorry, love. She would have been a wonderful daughter. Her soul will now find another, and I pray she waits to be your child.” Her voice stopped as his great hands came to cup the tiny head and body and bring it to his lips to kiss before he handed her back to Brianna. Alana took the bundle from her arms when Brianna slumped, unconscious.

Damron’s shoulders shook with sobs he no longer stifled.

Mereck supported Brianna so Damron could stand. Bleddyn wanted her flat on the table. Damron stroked her head and talked to her. Mereck kept a comforting arm around him.

Bleddyn and Alana worked quickly. He carefully stitched the cut he had made on her body. When he was done, they did not pack her with mixtures of herbs, mud, spider webs or any other such common treatments of the time.

Brianna had an extensive knowledge of medicines in her own time and she had added her information to Bleddyn’s. He had readied preparations of betony, St.-John’s-wort, common rue, lady’s mantle, wolfbane, columbine, white archangel and other herbs. All would aid Brianna in healing.

They knew little or nothing of many of them, but they did all she had told them to do, plus what Bleddyn himself had learned on that trip to Lydia’s hospital. When done, they quickly replaced the bloody pallet with a clean one. Alana bathed her from her waist down, then packed sterile cloths against her body. She kept a steady pressure against them. As soon as blood seeped through, she placed another cloth over it and increased her pressure.