Always (Family Justice Book 1) (4 page)

Victoria placed both hands on her tummy and stroked from outside to the middle of her bump. He loved rubbing her flesh, sometimes feeling the kick or nudge of his baby making their presence known. He leaned over to kiss the protruding belly, keeping one hand curved protectively about her hips while the other circled her belly button.

“I was about to check my mother’s room. See if everything’s in order.”

Drae smiled into her solemn gaze and clucked his tongue. “Now come on, Mrs. St. John. You know perfectly well that Carmen has made a nuisance of herself coming and going with all sorts of stuff for the mother-in-law suite. Your mom’s going to be getting the full five-star treatment the whole time she’s here. Stephanie will think she’s been staying at the fucking Four Seasons. Believe me, it’s fine.”

“Oh, did you feel that?” she giggled breathlessly. His mood lightened at the sound. “Cha Cha is doing the River Dance again,” she laughed.

“Madam, will you please refrain from calling my potential daughter, Cha Cha? It’s not befitting a St. John,” he mocked. “I much prefer Bunny. Bunny St. John. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? And yes, I felt that. Bunny Cha Cha kicks like a fucking soccer star. We might have a baby Beckham coming up on the sidelines.”

She dropped onto his chest and laid her head on his shoulder. He could feel a fine tremor shuddering along her spine. “I just want everything to be alright.”

The erection poking his pregnant wife in the butt instantly cooled. This was where he was in way over his head. Her anxiety was palpable and what the fuck did he know about it to begin with? It was her body going through the process of giving life to their child. It never failed to make him feel like a dirty old man every time his desire for Victoria roared to life while she was in such a state.

“Oh, sweetheart. Everything’s going to be fine. Try to relax, okay? I’d never let anything happen to you, Victoria. To either of you, baby.”

He rested his big hand on her tummy and spread his fingers wide. He didn’t know how the next few weeks were going to pan out, but he did know that he’d never, ever put his Victoria through this again.
One kid better be enough
, he thought unhappily because this whole thing had just been more than he could handle.

M
MMM
.
HE ALWAYS SMELLS SO good
, Tori thought as she snuggled the best she could into her husband’s chest. She liked Draegyn in pretty much anything he put on. But it was the worn jeans, some with rips and tears, and the washed-out t-shirts that he favored when he was working on a project that hit a certain button deep inside and always made Tori go weak-kneed. Dressed down as he was, it made her cool, sophisticated, worldly husband more approachable and down-to-earth.

Curling up on his big lap was a guilty, not-so-secret pleasure. It was one of the benefits of being on the petite side when one’s husband was a freakin’ Nordic god. But right now, her belly was preventing Tori from wrapping her arms around his torso and giving him an audacious lap squirm.
Fuck my pregnant life.

Oh, she wasn’t complaining. Not really. Okay, maybe just a little, but wasn’t that to be expected? Practically the second she learned that Draegyn had been a big baby, she’d felt doomed. Not only wasn’t she all that big, but she was also slim-hipped. Putting a pregnant belly on her body with a child genetically predisposed to be large was almost mean.

I mean,
shit.
Throwing up non-stop for months hadn’t been a walk in the park. Nor had the swollen ankles, the constant heartburn, the aching back, and the exhausting, endless trips to the bathroom.
Ugh.
Bottom line—she was just worn the fuck down.

Most of the time, she felt like crying for no reason. When she couldn’t maneuver out of bed the other night—no matter how hard she tried to wiggle upright—she lay there and bawled like a baby until Drae heard the commotion and came to her rescue.

And that was the real problem. He wasn’t by her side in the big bed. Though he was, in fact, right there, camping on the sofa on the other side of their master suite, it was a far cry from lying a foot away from someone. She missed him, his absence from their bed was confusing her, and all that ended up doing was make her cry some more. It was a vicious, endless cycle.

She held very still—wishing she could crawl inside his skin, not wanting him to end the embrace. Laying there, inhaling his scent, listening to the strong beat of his heart under her cheek was like instant serenity for Tori. Her back didn’t ache, she felt happy and confident, and their baby was safe. The hand at the end of the arm curved protectively around her waist and hip was splayed against the bottom of her tummy, almost like he was carrying the burden for her. His other hand was gently rubbing around her belly button in smooth circles that felt heavenly. Would it be too much to ask that the next six weeks fade away and they could remain just like that until the big moment came? Yeah. Probably.

“I’m glad your mom’s coming to stay,” he whispered. “She’ll be a big help. I don’t feel like I do enough for you, honey. You need a women’s support, maybe.”

Aw, shit
.
Here we go again
, she thought. Why were men so damn stupid? Had she done or said anything, anything at all, that implied he hadn’t been taking great care of her?
No.
But that was what the noise in his head was running on a continuous loop. Dammit. He’d done plenty but what she needed from him the most right now, she didn’t know how to ask for.

Tori was excruciatingly aware of Draegyn’s physical absence. She was pregnant-horny around the damn clock—but at her last check-up, the stupid doctor blurted out in front of her impressionable husband that they might want to play it safe with their sexual activity. Fuck it if the overwrought father-in-waiting she was married to didn’t take that as a prescription to halt all intimate contact, physical or otherwise, for the duration.

She’d given up trying to entice him back into their bed. Shaped like an over-ripe pumpkin, Tori was ten steps removed from pretending even a little bit to be sexually alluring. Him being all stoic and controlled while she was so desperate and clingy was making her nuts.

Maybe having her mom around would act as a pressure valve. Give them a break. After all, it wasn’t long now. Just thinking about the joy of holding their baby in her arms, Tori became swamped with emotion. Clutching at his t-shirt, she wiggled on his lap and started pressing hot kisses to his neck and chin. They made a baby together. She and her sexy-as-fuck secret agent man. It felt so damn good being in his arms, feeling his spectacular chest rise and fall against her. And he tasted as good as he smelled, too. Sort of like hot sunlight on sweaty flesh.

She heard him moan, his chin angling away from her so she had better access to his throat. His hand stopped moving and the embrace he held her in became firmer, greedier. Somehow, she managed to slip her hand under his t-shirt, sweeping up across his muscled chest, using her sense of touch to locate his nipples. Scraping her nails on his flesh, she let her hunger explode, groaning and whimpering while she devoured him with her mouth.

When he reached for one of her swollen breasts, she moaned at the contact and shuddered from head to toe. Next thing she knew, his hand was in her hair, holding her head at the perfect angle as he gorged on her mouth with a kiss that was carnal and provocative.

This was what she knew, how it had always been with Draegyn. The physical connection, the way it blazed red-hot. When his tongue invaded her mouth, everything else faded into insignificance. He loved her. She could taste it. The world was a perfect place.

But all too soon, she sensed him begin to withdraw. It was inevitable. He tried to keep their ardor on the back burner, but it never lasted very long. This was becoming their norm. They’d have a quiet moment that suddenly became the towering fucking inferno—mostly because he just couldn’t
not
respond—and for a bit they would get lost in all those feelings. Until he remembered and pulled away.

“Draegyn, please,” she groaned.

“Honey, don’t,” he begged. “You know what the doctor said.”

O
hhh
that made her so mad! Stupid damn
male
doctor. She wasn’t asking him to fuck her unconscious. All she really wanted was a great make-out session; hopefully, one that ended with some orgasmic relief. For both of them.

“Draegyn St. John. You coward. You know damn straight that the doctor did not flail his arms and screech,
Warning Will Robinson
. All he said was to take it easy. Not, take a vow of celibacy.”

Draegyn muttered something unkind about the doctor under his breath. “Sweetheart, look,” he told her while grasping both of her hands in his one. “I can’t take any chances with you or our baby. It’s better this way—you’ll see. By the time we can make love again, it’ll seem like a new beginning. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“No,” she grumbled.

“C’mon, Victoria. Don’t pout. You know that shit makes me crazy.”

She huffed and bit her lip to stop the tears from falling.
Shit.
More waterworks. Fantastic.

“Draegyn…I’m scared and I feel like shit all the time. My body is like a stranger to me, and all of a sudden, you’re not there.”

“I know it seems that way, honey, but I’m right here by your side. See—that’s why we need your mother. To help keep your chin up. It’ll make me feel better to know there’s another woman around. What I know about being pregnant and having a kid could be written on one side of a dime. Stephanie will know what to do.”

Yeah. Whatever. Cutting to the chase now.
“I want you to sleep in our bed tonight.”

“Victoria,” he started to grumble.

“No. Don’t
Victoria
me. I want you in that bed. Tonight, Mr. St. John—no excuses. You say you just want to keep us safe. Well, how safe is it for me not to get a decent night’s sleep? Huh? Think about it. I thought you were the cool, analytical one. I need you to hold me. Is that too damn much to ask?”

Fucking waterworks.
Shit.
She knew it didn’t take long for things to get ugly. Only took a minute for snot to start pouring from her nose and for her face to become blotchy and hot. Were all pregnant women this desperate and pathetic?

Jesus Christ,
Drae thought as he tilted his head to get a better view of his wife’s face. The forlorn, miserable expression he found cut through him like a hot knife through butter.

Sliding out from beneath her, he settled Victoria in the new chair and hurried to the baby’s dressing table where he grabbed a box of tissues and returned to her side. God, he hated seeing her like this. Hated being the reason for it. He was afraid of hurting her or the baby so he kept his distance. She was in this predicament because he’d gotten her pregnant. No matter how he looked at it, Drae was the villain.

Kneeling at her feet, he pulled five or six tissues from the box and mopped up the cascade of tears, murmuring the whole time gently.

“I love you, Victoria St. John. Don’t you wimp out on me now, honey.”

She was trying to rein in her tears but having one hell of a time. Each of her pitiful sobs tore at his heart. Grasping at straws, he promised to come back to their bed, hoping she’d calm down with his assurance.

“Do you mean it?” she whimpered, her shoulders shaking from the effort to block a new round of tears.

“Yes. Of course, I mean it. I’ll even build you a pillow fortress so you can be comfortable.”

Suddenly, she clutched frantically at his shirt. “Make it a promise, Draegyn. Promise me you’ll come back to our bed.”

“Shhh, shhh, honey. Yes, it’s a promise. Just please stop crying, okay? I don’t think my heart can survive any more of your tears.”

Fuck.
He needed to have a talk with Cam. Find out if Lacey lost her shit near the end of their pregnancy. Somehow, he didn’t think so. Those two were living some sort of charmed life. Lacey never seemed to have any pregnancy issues; in fact, she positively glowed right through those last weeks and after Dylan was born. He doubted she’d been a hysterical mess, crying over every little thing and feeling like her body was being remote controlled by someone with a sick sense of humor.