Always Conall (Bitterroot #2) (11 page)

“I can’t for a couple days. I have three twelves starting tonight, so I’ll be kinda busy.”

“So Monday, maybe?”

“We don’t have to do dinner, Conall. I’d hate to take away from your riveting social life.”

“Sage…”

“No, really. I think it’s great that you found someone to hook up with so soon. Granted, she’s a total whore, but to each his own.”

“Sage, it wasn’t—”

“Listen, I actually don’t really want to talk about your love life, okay. Or mine. We need to limit our discussions to Mattie, I think.” For a moment, I only heard silence. I quickly pulled the phone away to make sure the call hadn’t been dropped. It still seemed connected, so I put I back to my ear. “Conall?”

“Fine
,” he finally said, “we’ll discuss Mattie.”

“
Okay,” I murmured warily, “I’ve been checking into some options. There’s a non-profit that provides legal services to people with low income.”

“Sage—” he started.

“No, just listen for a minute. I’ll apply for the services. I’m broke as hell, but if we do some kind of mediation or something through them—”

“No,” Conall said emphatically.

“It would be best for Mattie if we didn’t keep having this same fucking argument,” I sighed. “We just need to get some things outlined. So we both know she’s being taken care of, that we’re doing what we can for her.”

Conall was quiet on the other end. The tension emanated clear through the phone line. I could almost see his clenched jaw.
His furrowed brow. I could feel that he didn’t want this formality… yet he was considering it for Mattie.

“Otherwise,” I tried to explain, “we’re just going to keep fighting, and I know you don’t want that for her.”

“I’ll pay for the lawyer, then,” he clipped. “It shouldn’t be too bad if we’re just essentially getting some paperwork filed anyway.”

“I don’t
want
you to pay for it all, Conall,” I said carefully, my heart rate rising. “It’s not fair to make you foot the bill for the whole thing.”

Conall paused on the phone. “Sage, I’ll give you whatever you need for her. I’ll write that on a motherfucking piece of paper and have it notarized.”

God, he was stubborn.
“Neither one of us is really experienced with this sort of thing. Don’t you think it might be best to have someone help us sort it out? Someone with a bit of legal knowledge who knows what kinds of things might come up in the future? So we can be prepared?”

After a long moment, he agreed.
Sort of. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But not this free shit. We’ll do it the right way. I’ll pay.”

“Conall…” I exhaled forcefully. “Are we really gonna have this argument again? This is just like with the car.”

“You needed the car,” he began.

“Oh my God.
Just stop,” I groaned. “I’m not going to fight with you about the car again.”

“Don’t fight with me about the legal fees either. I can afford it,” he contested, “and you can’t. It’s simple. I’ll pay.”

Now I was quiet. Defiantly so. I felt like we were just fighting in circles, over and over.

“Sage,” he sighed, “I’m not gonna back down on this, so you may as well just give in.”

Ugh. So stubborn.

“Fine,” I finally muttered.

“Okay,” he replied. “What do you need me to do?”

“I don’t really know yet. I’ll get a
referral, make an appointment to get things started. My guess is we’ll both need to be there.”

“Okay, just let me know when and where
.” With those last hard words, he disconnected the call and was gone.

Conall

I hated this.

Sitting in a stark office going over the black and white details of my life with a complete stranger to determine what my fair share of responsibility should be for Mattie. This sucked. Big time.

Because I wanted to give them everything.

“So, let’s get started, shall we?” Robyn began. Her door said Robyn Patrick, Attorney at Law, Professional Mediator. Her features were rather severe looking, her hair pulled tightly back with next to no make-up, and she wore man clothes. My initial guess was that she was probably a man-hating lesbian or something. Strangely, this made me feel kind of good. If she despised men, maybe she’d make it easier for me to give Sage and Mattie all I wanted to, thinking that I was a deadbeat dad who needed to be taken to heel for being absent the last five years.

But she was actually pretty nice. Not warm and fuzzy nice, but nice, nonetheless. We filled out some contact forms and she instructed us on things we
’d need to write up.

“Okay, first, there are some documents you guys will have to complete, starting with a financial declaration that will include a property and liability statement listing all your assets.”

“I don’t really have any assets,” Sage murmured quietly. “Just my crappy old Taurus, which is probably more of a liability.”

“The Subaru is in your name, Sage,” I reminded her.

“Yeah, but you bought it.”

“You bought her a car?” Robyn asked.

“A pretty fancy one, too,” Sage replied, grimacing at Robyn. “Much nicer than I need.”

“It
’s not that fancy. And she needed it,” I explained. “Her old Taurus died.”

“I didn’t need a brand new car,” Sage countered as she frowned at me,
then looked back at Robyn. “We need to make sure it is accounted for that he bought it. Also, he’s covering all the legal fees, so we need to make sure he gets credit for that, too. He really doesn’t owe me anything, I don’t think.”

“You’ve been raising Mattie on your own for almost five years, Sage,” Robyn stated, pointedly looking over her reading glasses.

“That’s what I tried to tell her,” I mumbled.

“It’s not his fault,” Sage said quietly. “He didn’t know.”

“But that’s not her fault,” I said quickly. “She didn’t know how to find me.”

Robyn looked back and forth at Sage and
I for a moment, a little confused by our backwards arguments. Likely, this was exactly the opposite of the usual conversations she had to mediate. I remembered my own parents and their fighting and blame. And here Sage and I were both claiming the other person’s innocence in the situation and trying to ensure we weren’t being unfair.

“Huh…" Robyn uttered thoughtfully before looking back down to the packet before her.
“Well, another document that I’ll have you each write up is a letter outlining the issues and your position. This is where you explain how you found yourselves in this situation. I normally tell people to try not to blame each other for all the difficulties, but I almost feel like I need to instruct you to make sure you are holding each other accountable.”

Sage and I glanced at each other.
Yeah, that was probably not going to happen
. I knew there was no way I could fault her for anything that had led us to this point. And the way she was looking at me, she had no desire to throw me under the bus either.

“So, once we’ve gotten those statements, we’ll work through a parenting plan and a child support agreement. Do you have any temporary orders?
Any existing settlements?”

We synchronously shook our heads.

“Okay,” she looked back at her list. “At this time, we won’t worry so much about backup documentation unless there is a question or dispute on things like income, assets, property value.”

“Neither of us really has anything
,” Sage said, “so I don’t see much dispute coming up there.”

“I have a fair amount of money,” I stated firmly. “She needs a good chunk of that.”

“You’ve already bought me the car,” Sage countered. “That is a good chunk of that.”

“You’ve been footing the bill since Mattie was born,” I replied with a little bit of frustration. “I think you’re entitled to a little compensation.”

Sage drew her eyebrows together and looked away with a huff, at which point Robyn once again interjected.

“Okay, this doesn’t really have to be a big deal. The fact is that you both want what’s best for your daughter, right?” Both Sage and I each gave a small nod, as though we were being reprimanded for our childish behavior. “You two have to be willing to compromise and work together in order for this to be successful. So don’t go into this with your heels dug in because you will only sabotage the mediation.”

“Sorry,” Sage mumbled.

“Yeah,” I followed, “sorry. I just want them to be taken care of.
Both of them.”

“I can see that,” Robyn replied. “And that is what we are doing here.”

“But not by making things hard for Conall,” Sage said adamantly. “It needs to be fair.”

Sage

I stood and more or less bolted from the room after essentially being reprimanded by the mediator. Of course I wanted what was best for Mattie. But that didn’t mean that I wanted to squeeze everything I could get out of Conall. Money was… just money. It wouldn’t make up for the time she’d missed out on him. And, especially now that I had the car, there really didn’t seem to be anything at all that I needed. Needs and wants weren’t necessarily the same thing. Sure, there was a lot I wanted.

Mostly I wanted Con
all.

But I shouldn’t. I had to push that down. That was a messy emotion to bring into an already tumultuous situation. I had to keep all this as smooth as possible for Mattie. It had to be all about Mattie. No matter what I really wanted for me.

After leaving Robyn’s office, I stood in the elevator across from Conall heading to the main floor. The silence between us was almost painful.

“You okay?” Conall gently asked after a moment.

“Yeah,” I quietly replied. “It’s just… grown-up problems. I keep feeling like I’m too young for all this.”

“You are, but you
’re also doing an amazing job with the cards you were dealt.” he reassured me, and then paused for a minute. “Do you want to go get a cup of coffee or something? Sort of decompress after all that in there?”

What I really wanted was for him to hold me. I wanted to feel the comfort and security that he had represented to me so long ago.

But I couldn’t escape that nagging sense of abandonment. He’d left me before. Everyone had. And to suddenly be so alone and so afraid… I couldn’t go through that again. My throat felt closed and tight, and I was trying so hard to keep the tears at bay.

My trepidation necessitated the distance. It pushed me to keep my emotion to the side. Because I simply had to do what was best for Mattie… in spite of what I really wanted. Because if I allowed myself to love Conall the way I desperately wanted to and then things got bad between us, she could lose him, too.

“I don’t think that would be a very good idea,” I said in a small voice, unable to raise my eyes to meet his. “Not right now. We have paperwork to get turned in.”

A light ping of the elevator’s bell rang, indicating we’d reached the street level, and without looking up at him, I escaped from the tight confines and made a beeline for my car.

Conall

Things felt so off… everything from the fight with Sage the other night and the uncomfortably odd meeting with the mediator. I hadn’t seen or heard from her aside from a picture she’d texted me of something Mattie had drawn. A picture of what appeared to be Mattie, me, and a purple unicorn. I’d responded with a thank you text, asking if she needed anything, and received a simple “
no, we’re good.
”

I’d thought of little but her and Mattie in the last few days. There was a huge desire to make it right, yet, there was also a hopelessness that anything could ever be right between us.

So I filled out my paperwork, trying my damnedest to list every penny I owned. Every investment I’d made over the years. And I totally approximated high when I was gave an estimate of the benefits of my job on the ranch, mainly the housing. When all was said and done, I felt like it clearly showed a great deal I could share with Sage to take care of Mattie.

There were some questions that were harder for me.
Mainly related to custody.
How much time did I want to spend with her?
Every minute, really, but I wanted Sage, too. And I sure as fuck didn’t want to take Mattie away from Sage. But I didn’t want her to feel like I was burdening her with all the day-to-day care either.

By the time I had finished and emailed the statements to Robyn, I had a foul sensation burning in my gut. I was frustrated and irritable. I wanted something that would make me feel close to
Sage, even though Sage had made it clear she didn’t want to be close to me.

So I sought out a place that was somehow associated with her. A place I’d maybe even run into her that wouldn’t be too obvious.

I headed to Hyper.

The first thing I saw was Jeff glaring at me, obviously still a little sore from my last appearance here.
Next to him stood Kian and Brynn. Kian looked half-bored, yet quickly shifted to half annoyed by Jeff’s bristling response to my presence. I nodded to Kian as I headed towards the bar rather than closer to them, and he lifted his chin as a reply. As unsettled as I felt, I wasn’t really here for a fight.

I leaned into the bar to order a beer and took a long draw before I heard a soft voice beside me.

“Conall?” Turning to look beside me, I saw Brynn. We had never really spoken to each other, so the whole situation felt awkward.
How much did she know about Sage and I
?

“Brynn, right?”

“Yeah, I’m a friend of Sage’s,” she said with a guarded look.

Hearing her words, the man sitting on the stool beside me turned towards us, obviously half-soused. “Mmm…
Sage. I miss that pretty little thing.”

“Shut up, Doug,” Brynn sourly glared at the man.

“Well, I don’t miss her,” the bartender said as he grabbed Doug’s empty glass. With a nod from the little drunk, he began to mix him a fresh drink. “She always got about double the tips I did.”

“Because she had tits,” Doug remarked back with a loud guffaw. “Really nice tits…”

Every hair on the back of my neck began to bristle, and I felt my spine straighten. My body immediately postured for a fight. This little fucker was treading on some thin ice. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kian and Jeff come closer, and Kian put his arm possessively around Brynn’s shoulders, gathering up against him tightly.

Unwittingly, Doug continued to spout off. “Man, she deserved every tip she got. She was fucking hot. It was like a feeding frenzy for the guys to try and get a piece of that.” Catching sight of Jeff, he took it a step further even. “Jeff, you did her. Was she pretty good in the sack?”

The situation was going from bad to worse. I looked over at Jeff. The reminder that he’d had Sage made me want to kick his ass now, too.

Fucker
.

“Yeah, you’d like to know, wouldn’t you?” Jeff shot back, but he turned his glare at me. Apparently the feeling was mutual.

“She always acted like such a prude little bitch,” Doug grumbled, taking another sip of his drink, and then he snorted loudly. “But she got all knocked up in high school, so she must not have been that innocent after all, huh?”

That was it. That little fucker had hit my limit. Grabbing him by the collar, I lifted him slightly and shoved him up against the bar.

“Don’t you ever fucking talk about her like that again, you little prick,” I growled.

“Who the
fuck are you to tell me what to do?” he spat back. I wasn’t sure if his false bravery came from the booze or if the guy just had no common sense.

“He’s the fucker that knocked her up,” Jeff growled from the side. Still, his distaste for me was obvious, but this guy apparently even had me beat. “So you best just shut the fuck up.”

Kian stepped forward then, pushing Brynn behind him. “Let’s just chill the fuck out, guys,” he said with an icy calm. “Doug will stop, won’t you, Doug?” The look he shot to Doug clearly spoke volumes.

With another hard look at the little guy, I slowly released him and stepped back, starting to turn away. But my blood boiled as I heard him mutter under his breath.

“Tell her ‘hi’ for me,” he sniggered.

In a blinding red flash of anger, I had a hold of Doug and tossed him across the room with a crash of furniture and broken glass. A few squeals from the crowd sounded, along with a groan as the little son-of-a-bitch staggered to his feet and rushed back at me. Through the flail of his swings and mine, I felt one of his buddies reach around in an attempt to grab onto my arms. It took Kian all of about two seconds to have that fucker on the floor. My focus was drawn back to Doug as I heard Brynn’s sharp cry.

“Conall, watch out!”

Turning back towards Doug, I felt a sharp, jagged pain in my side before I saw the broken beer bottle he’d latched onto. A trace of blood glistened on the sharp glassy surface. I swung hard, backhanding him like the little bitch he was. As he stepped back, he tripped on his own inebriated feet and fell into Jeff. Jeff took his shoulders and, with a sharp shove, pushed him back towards me, but not before he thumped the bottle shards on the table, forcing Doug to release his grasp on the makeshift weapon. With a nod of understanding, Jeff leaned back against the bar as I clocked Doug right between the eyes. The man fell like a rock, crumbling to the floor in muffled moan.

With an aggravated growl, I looked around. A few of Doug’s buddies stared wide-eyed, and the one Kian had taken out was gingerly pulling to a stand. Kian caught a worried-looking Brynn in his arm as he came over to me.

“Conall,” Brynn gasped at the side of my bloody, torn shirt, “you need a doctor.”

“I’m fine,” I heaved. Truthfully, my side felt like it was on fire, but there was no way I was going to admit some pussy shit like that with Jeff and Kian standing there.

“Really, man,” Kian agreed, “That
’s bleeding something fierce, may be pretty deep. Come on, we’ll take you to the hospital.”

I clenched my jaw and looked over at Jeff.

“Thanks,” I said.

He lifted his chin in response.

“Come on, Conall,” Brynn urged, carefully pulling at my arm, and I followed her and Kian out of the bar.

Sage

Three hours into my shift. I sorta felt like I was going to drop, and I still had nine hours to go. All this drama with Conall had my mind whirling, and, because of that, sleep had been increasingly elusive the last few days. Noticing how exhausted I was, my supervisor Ashley brought me an energy drink.

“Thanks,” I said, taking a long sip and willing the B vitamins to kick in and give me a little boost.

“Sometimes nights are so slow that you just kinda wish for a big pileup on the interstate or something,” she mused. “Then you feel like shit for wishing that.”

One of the aides from the front desk came back to the
nurses station with a chart. “Hey, Ashley,” she said, “we’ve got a minor laceration. Might need stitches.”

Ashley looked over at me. “Want to take it, Ms. Intern? May be the only thing that happens tonight, and it might help break things up. Give me a holler if you have any problems.”

I nodded, taking the chart from the aide, and headed out to the waiting room to get the patient. Just as I was about to look at the name on the paperwork, I turned the corner to see Brynn, Kian, and…
Conall?

“Oh God,” I groaned to myself and looked up towards heaven. “You’ve got to be fucking with me, right?”

Brynn and Kian wore concerned expressions, although there was a mysterious touch of pride in Brynn’s. Conall looked to be in pain, and his grimace turned to a full on groan when he saw me.

“
Awe, fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

Taking stock of the situation, I noted his hand over his abs, just below his ribs. Then I saw the blood.

“Shit, Conall,” I exclaimed, “what happened?”

“Well, Conall sorta got—” Brynn started.

“Nothing,” Conall growled and shook his head slightly at Brynn, silencing her. “Just some drunk fuckers at the bar.”

“Oh, that’s lovely,” I pursed my lips. “You’re getting in bar fights. Nice.”

“It’s kind of hard not to fight with Doug,” Brynn muttered. “I’ve even fought with Doug.”

“Brynn,” Kian warned.

“Well, Kian,” she started in again, “after what Doug said about her, he had it coming.”

“About who?”
I asked, feeling a little sick to my stomach all of a sudden. He’d been in a fight over a girl.

“Nobody,” Conall gave Brynn a sharp look.

“Conall,” Brynn needled, “don’t you think she—”

“Excuse us for a minute,” Kian interrupted. Grabbing Brynn by the waist, he ushered her back outside. Through the large doors, we could see them arguing before Kian grabbed a hold of Brynn firmly and kissed her long and hard. Going practically limp in his arms, Brynn gently nodded when he finally lifted his head and murmured against her lips.

Shit, those two had kind of a weird relationship, but it seemed to work for them.

Shaking myself back into the present, I turned back to Conall. “Well, let’s get you cleaned up and have the doctor come take a look.”

I led him into an exam area and pulled the curtain closed. “Take your shirt off and get up on the bed so I can see what we’re dealing with.”

I could hear the slight rustle of fabric as I gathered some four-by-fours and saline to clean the wound.

“So, what did you get cut with?” I asked, willing my shaky voice to steady. So many emotions were raging through my brain – anger and desolation that he’d been fighting over some chick in a bar, worry about how badly he might be hurt, panicky that he was here before me in the first place.

“A broken bottle,” he replied.

A faint squeak from the bed indicated to me that he was settling. Taking a deep breath, I turned and damn near dropped the tray of supplies.

All the air left the room as I could only stare at Conall’s broad chest.
The splendid thick muscles of his shoulders, accented by the sleeve of tattoos down his arm. The sculpted pectorals highlighted by the silver chain and dog tags. The ripple of delicious abdominals that led to a deep vee, disappearing into his jeans.

The angry, seeping wound.

Shit, the wound. Concentrate, Sage.

I was a nurse… well,
almost
a nurse. I was trained to deal with emergencies and complex traumatic situations. To think on my feet under high stress. Yet, just looking at Conall’s bare chest had my whole body a jumble of nerves.

Ignoring the flutter in my belly and heated flush of my cheeks, I carefully set the tray down beside the bed and set to work. My fingers felt clumsy, which pissed me off a little.
Why did he affect me so much? Still, after all this time?
The emotions he drew from me seemed even more rampant than ever.

Sadistically, I took a little pleasure as I cleaned out the wound. Every twinge of pain that coursed through him felt a little bit victorious.

“So, you were fighting over some chick, huh?” I asked, with more venom than I intended.