Always (17 page)

      The message at the bottom of her stack gave her pause. "Oh, nuts, I forgot about Jeremy."

      "Taylor, good, you're still here."
 

      Gordon's voice startled her and she dropped the messages. They both bent to retrieve them, and the warmth of his hand brushed against hers, sending a shiver up her arm and straight to her core.

      He handed her the messages as they straightened. The intensity of his turquoise eyes singed her. Something was different. More compelling. She held her breath, drowning in a tidal wave of memory-flavored sensation.

      Last night's kiss, the feel of him pressed against her, his lips on her, his hands... Liquid fire washed through her and she swayed, suddenly dizzy with intoxicating memories.

      "Well, I'm outta here," Sue announced, heading down the hall at her typical overdrive speed. "I already faxed Dr. Cole directions to Digby for you."

      "Oh, thanks." Taylor stared after Sue, her brow furrowed. She looked at the message again, noticing Sue's scribbled note at the bottom this time:
Faxed driving directions to Jeremy Cole, M.D, 17:40 today.

      The back door slammed and Sue was gone. Only the light in the reception area remained on, bathing Gordon in gold and silver. Though the summer days were long, once the sun dipped behind the highest peak, Digby fell into the shadows. The sky above could remain semi-blue for an hour or more after lights were required by earthbound mortals.

      "I'm glad you're still here, Taylor," Gordon said, facing her. "There's something I want to talk to you about. I think it's time to put the past behind us."

      It was
definitely
time to tell him about Jeremy.

      She swallowed hard and licked her lips. "It was nice of Sue to send that fax for me. Jeremy is a friend from med school." Of course, "friend" wasn't quite the right word. "He's coming to visit."

      "That's nice."

      She met Gordon's gaze, his expression more solemn than before. Now was the time. He'd know soon enough that Jeremy was more than just a friend to Taylor. "He's my–"

      "Oh, no, I just realized something." Gordon rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and chuckled. "If the Jeep won't start, we're both stuck here without wheels."

      "We've been so busy this afternoon, I didn't have time to call Rick about my car." Her heart pressed against her throat as she tried to summon the courage to tell Gordon everything about Jeremy. Her car was really the last thing on her mind. In fair weather she could walk home, so its absence wasn't a major crisis now.

      Standing here alone with Gordon
was
.

      "Taylor, I..."

      A flicker in the aqua depths of his eyes awakened something warm and vibrant from deep within her. Something she'd tried to keep safe. Protected.

      Frozen.

      But now her chest filled with a sweet ache and his heat bore into her even from the foot or so which separated them. Drunk from his nearness, she inhaled his essence, basked in the intensity of his perusal.

      She wanted him.

      A tremor skittered down her spine and she wrapped her arms around her abdomen as if to protect her heart and soul from the delicious agony of wanting Gordon Lane again, and remembering all the reasons she couldn't have him. And
shouldn't
want him.

      He reached out to brush his fingers against his cheek. He'd often done that when they were dating, touching her as if he feared she might break. The boy she'd loved more than anything was still in there, lurking behind the tiny lines at the corners of his eyes and the silver hair. Was the Gordon Lane who'd betrayed her still there as well?

      Her throat constricted and she held her breath as he took a step closer, his breath fanning her cheek and her torment. "Gordon..."

      "Shh, don't talk." He drew a deep breath and continued to caress her face with the tips of his fingers. "I have a lot of things to tell you, Taylor."

      Her heart slammed against her ribs and a soft roar commenced in her head. "I...but..."

      "It's time to face the past," he cupped her cheek in his palm and came closer, "and the future."

      
The future
? She drew a sharp breath. What was he saying? Surely not–

      "Last night proved something to me," he continued, framing her face with both hands now, stroking her eyebrows and temples with his thumbs. "We still have feelings for each other, Taylor. Powerful feelings."

      How could she argue that point? She tried to speak, but words failed her. In his arms last night, she'd felt alive and on fire for the first time since leaving Digby. And Gordon. When he kissed her, touched her, looked at her, she felt worshipped. Desired.

      Loved.

      
Loved
? He lowered his mouth to hers, nibbling at her lower lip until she sought his mouth herself and fully connected. He crushed her against him, delving into her mouth with his tongue as if seeking buried treasure. She moaned and leaned into him, taking and giving with all she had.

      Something snapped inside her, and all the hunger and need she'd suppressed surged forth, took command, banished common sense, not to mention any thoughts of Jeremy.
Jeremy who
?
 
Drowning, she clung to him, seeking more and more of what he had to offer. She wanted it all.

      And she wanted it now.

      With trembling fingers, she reached between them and tugged his shirt from the waistband of his jeans, deftly releasing the buttons until his hard, bare chest was exposed. Moaning, she pressed the flat of her palm against him. He growled into their kiss and pushed her lab coat off her shoulders, letting it drift unheeded to the floor.

      Scalding need shot through her and she clenched against that unbearable emptiness again. Gordon released the tiny buttons at the front of her sweater and shoved it aside. Cool air touched her bare midriff and her nipples hardened against her thin cotton bra.

      Gasping, he broke their kiss and stared intently into her eyes. "Taylor, I..."

      She pressed her finger to his lips. "Don't talk." If she was making a mistake, she didn't want to know it until later. Now all she wanted was Gordon. All of him. "Don't think."

      Still staring into her eyes, he brought his hand to her breast, testing its weight, brushing his thumb against its rigid peak. She gasped and he wrapped his other arm around her waist, bending her back and lifting her breasts to him in offering.
Oh, yes
.
 

      His mouth. She wanted his mouth on her. He trailed tiny kisses along her collarbone, skimmed the lace trim that edged her bra with his teeth, then covered her nipple with his hot mouth right through the fabric.

      Taylor sucked in a breath and clutched him to her. He drew her into his mouth, sending spirals of longing cascading through her. She wanted skin. His. Hers. Theirs.

      He rolled her other nipple between his thumb and forefinger, making her ache and swell against the flimsy fabric. Then he unhooked the clasp at the front of her bra, releasing her swollen breasts from the confining garment. He pulled back, exposing her breasts to his gaze. Cool air found her damp nipple and she ached for his warmth again.
 

      His expression was reverent, reminding Taylor that Gordon had always treated her this way. Like she was special and important. And beautiful.
 

      "Perfect," he whispered, covering her nipple again with his mouth.
 

      She moaned, staring at the startling contrast between his tanned face against her milk-white breast. He sucked gently, then hungrily, then nipped and teased her with his teeth, driving her more mad with each passing second. Each tug produced an answering echo of unbearable emptiness from her womb.

      She shouldn't do this. They shouldn't do this. She shouldn't even
want
this.

      
Shouldn't, be damned
. Every second since the morning she'd found him in the creek had been leading to this. She stroked his bare shoulders, kneaded his back, held him against her. There was no turning back now. They would make love right here in his waiting room.

      
Make love
. The thought fueled her desire like gasoline on an open flame. "Gordon, I–"

      The phone rang, startling them both. Gordon jerked upright, barely saving her from falling to the floor. Laughing, he pressed his forehead against hers and reached for the phone. "I hope this isn't an emergency, because I think we have one right here that's pretty critical."

      Taylor nodded, her breathing labored, her bare flesh coated with a fine film of perspiration. She wanted him so much it hurt. Yes, critical was a good word. She'd deal with the side effects later.

      Still watching her, he brought the receiver to his ear and his hand back to her naked breast, gently stoking the fire he'd started. "Hello? I mean, Digby Clinic."

      "Taylor? Uh, sure." A few moments of silence and Gordon's changing expression told her he was listening. "I...think you'd better talk to her. Just a minute." A frown creased his brow and he dropped his hand from her breast. Clearing his throat, he handed her the phone. "Jeremy Cole needs to know if he should get a hotel room or if he'll be staying with you."

      
Oh
. Her hand trembled as she took the phone from Gordon. "I...uh...just a minute." She put the receiver to her ear. "Jeremy," she said, hoping her voice didn't betray her frazzled state. "When are you coming?"

      "I'll be there Friday," Jeremy said. "I've missed you." His voice dropped and Taylor cringed. "Got room for a lonely doctor at your place?"

      An icy chill swept over her and she glanced at Gordon's stricken expression. Without a word, he retrieved his shirt and buttoned it, then walked away. She didn't hear the back door close, and figured he must have gone to his office.

      "Taylor, you still there?"

      "Yes, Jeremy, I'm here." She cleared her throat and searched her mind. "I don't believe it would be appropriate for you to stay at my place. Digby is a small town."

      "Who cares what those old fogies think?"
 

      "I care." Mentally counting to ten, she bent down to retrieve her bra. After a lot of contorting, she finally managed to squirm into it. "I'm the local doctor right now, and I don't intend to cause a scandal."
Unless it's with the local veterinarian
. "Besides, we haven't been...I mean, you and I haven't, uh..."

      "I know, but you know I'm ready." That husky tone entered Jeremy's voice again.
 

      "But I'm not." Her answer was abrupt and cruel, but also true. She glanced at the empty doorway, hoping Gordon hadn't left. It was time to settle things between them, one way or another.

      "All right, so give me the number of the nearest hotel," Jeremy said, obviously disappointed.
 

      "Hotel?" Taylor picked up her sweater and slipped her arms into it, then held the phone to her ear with her shoulder while she buttoned the front. "Digby doesn't have a–no, wait." She couldn't tell him that, or he'd insist on staying with her. Desperate, she found the local phone directory in Sue's desk drawer and flipped open the pages. "Ah, here it is. There's a bed and breakfast in the center of town, and some guest cabins in the mountains at the edge of town. I'll call and see if there are vacancies."

      "If there aren't...?"
 

      Taylor winced and wiped her sweaty palm against her jeans. "We'll worry about that
if
it's an issue."

      "You know how I feel about you, Taylor."

      No, actually, she didn't, and right now she didn't want to, because she felt nothing toward Jeremy but irritation. All she could think of was the stricken look on Gordon's face. "I have another call, Jeremy," she lied. "Emergency. See you Friday."

      She hung up the phone and drew a deep breath, then picked her lab coat up off the floor and draped it over her arm. Slowly, she made her way down the hall to Gordon's office
 
He was busy looking through a chart and making some notes.

      "Gordon, I–"

      "Don't." He looked up at her, his expression guarded. "I should've realized a beautiful woman like you would have a boyfriend."

      "He isn't my boyfriend. Exactly."

      His brow arched. "Oh?"

      "Well, we've dated, but..." She sighed. "Gordon, we need to talk."

      He shook his head and leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "I had planned to talk to you tonight, but I got a little carried away." A derisive chuckle left his lips and he twirled a pencil between his fingers. When he met her gaze again, all the warmth had vanished. "I'm sorry, Taylor. I had no right to touch you, but at least that kept me from saying things I would regret."

      
Sorry
? She'd rather have been slapped. "No, please, you don't understand." She approached his desk, not sure what to say. She ached for this man physically, and her heart mourned the loss of what they'd once shared.