Alutia Rising, Anniversary Edition (Alutia Rising Series, Book 1) (45 page)

“I thought I told you?” she smiled
innocently, eyes twinkling. It didn’t take Trent long to realize
she was playing with him.

“Nope...nothing, I'm completely in the dark,”
he tried to force offence into his voice, but instead, sounded like
he’d swallowed a frog. Sasha laughed and leaned in, laying her left
hand across his forearm.

“Well, Trent, I guess I do owe you an
explanation, and now is as good a time as any I’d gather,” she
turned away, feigning a yawn. Curious, Trent tried to catch her
eye, but every time he got close, she would look away.

“Vin,” Trent grinned, “could you let me know
what that ceremony was all about?” he asked with childish delight,
laughing as Sasha turned to him with utter shock.
She isn’t the
only one who can play these games,
he mused.

“Vin, ignore that question. I shall answer
it,” Sasha declared, the game having run its course. But Trent
couldn’t wipe the grin off his lips;
I like this playful side of
Sasha
, then frowned when he recognized the affection slithering
into his heart. He tried to push it away, back into its dark
prison. He'd promised himself never again and even if he accepted
the feelings, it didn't change the fact that she was a princess and
he was a hobo.

“I guess I’ll start from the beginning,” she
looked at him seriously, “while I was traveling to Planet Vn’Oco
for my official ascension ceremony, I received word from Duke
Zehman and about 160 other ruling nobles that the NHA Liaison to
the TSB, a Sir Simwa, had been assaulted and dishonored on Earth by
an evil Earthling named Trent,” she stared at him accusingly, but
Trent's mood had shifted and he could only smile back weakly.
Seeing her playful attempt turned away, Sasha continued, “along
with Knight Captain Quinn and Vice-Commander Daiyu, who assisted in
this act, then falsely accused Sir Simwa of attempted murder and
had him imprisoned, along with his starship.” Trent’s blood rushed
to his cheeks as anger started clawing its way back to the surface,
pushing past the slowly rising despair.

He already knew what Sir Simwa said they'd
done, but hearing the words come from Sasha’s mouth, so
matter-of-factly, made it all the worse, causing his anger to
return stronger than ever before. Sasha must have picked up on his
rapidly fluctuating emotions since she started slowly caressing his
arm, causing some, but not all, of the rising fury to subside.

“Well,” she continued, her expression of
veiled concern, “I found something amiss with his reasoning, and
the facts just didn't add up. Plus, there was this sealed record of
said Earthling’s enlistment trial that was supposedly impossible
for me to view. Knight Captain Quinn knew of this restriction and
thought of a way to forward me a copy of the record. Since your
actions to save the life of Vice-Commander Daiyu were deemed heroic
by the Program present, Knight Captain Quinn was able to recommend
you for the Star of Terra, the highest reward for bravery in the
galaxy and second only to the Emperor's Boon in the universe,”
Sasha stated, pride overflowing from her every word. Trent stumbled
to stop, having some difficulty grasping the meaning of what she
just explained.

“It sounds like quite the honor, but...but
I'm guessing this award is pretty common?” Trent knew his question
sounded odd, and couldn’t fully fathom why he asked. Though quickly
realized it may have been because he didn't think he had done
anything special, just what anyone in his situation would have. But
Sasha's expression froze in disbelief.

“No, Trent. It is actually so rare that no
one has been awarded the Star of Terra since the Battle of Donlak
over 400 years ago,” she squinted her eyes. “Why would you think
the most prestigious award for bravery in the galaxy is common?”
Sasha asked, like Trent was a young child who constantly refused to
listen.

His chest tightened, knowing he had again
said something wrong, proving that his emerging affection for Sasha
was no longer hidden, but seeping free to allow him to be easily
hurt by her anger. He sighed, deciding, as he always thought best,
to be honest.

“I didn't think I did anything special,” he
spoke without emotion, “just...just what anyone would do when
someone's life is in danger, “ his voice trembled with the hurt
that flowed from his heart. He glanced back at Sasha, who held a
single hand over her mouth as she backed away, eyes wide with
shock.

“Are you telling me,” her voice was muffled,
“that you find it normal to put your own life in danger to save
someone you barely know?”

“I never really thought about it,” his tone
became hard, “but yes, I would gladly put my life on the line to
save another, no matter who it is,” he finished voicing his
thoughts, finding a thread of sorrow that his reliance on alcohol
had kept dormant, starting to weave closer to the surface.

“Why?” she shouted. “Why would you sacrifice
yourself for someone you don't even know? I don’t understand,” she
stomped her foot, incredulous, since she, like everyone Trent had
ever met, could not possibly understand the kindness of his heart,
the kindness that had been hardened by years upon years of abuse.
So he knew if he voiced his answer that Sasha would...
like
everyone always did
... leave him in disgust. He took a deep
breath, feeling the sorrow that for so long had been dormant,
bursting free.

“I've always figured that since my own life
meant nothing that...that if I could sacrifice it to save another,
someone more worthy then me, then I would do so happily,” his
confession flowed free as he backed against the wall, trembling
uncontrollably. Memories returned, memories of him
running...running away from the pain...running away from the truth
he knew, but didn't want to accept.

How quickly things have changed,
he
wanted to cry, the content happiness he had felt in Sasha's
presence
mere moments before, turning to
wretchedness, the hope, turning to complete despair.

Trent spun, preparing to run; run from the
hate he knew would be in her eyes, and knew would break his very
soul.

His words struck her like a shockwave,
knocking her into a daze. She couldn’t begin to comprehend how
someone could say that their life was useless...someone that she'd
suddenly realized she felt so strongly about. She'd known that he
was hurt in the past, having witnessed the record of his trial. But
the depth of that hurt was well beyond anything she could have
possibly imagined.

Trent started backing away from her, eyes
wild with fear, all rational thought having fled his mind.
It’s
a time of choice, Sasha,
a voice whispered,
you can leave
him and your feeling's here, then go back to your normal life
,
it promised,
or you can accept Trent and try to fill the gap in
his heart...try to heal his wounds.
She stared into his darting
eyes once more and knew the decision had already been made.

As Trent turned, she rushed forward and
embraced him from behind. He squirmed, trying to break free, but
Sasha locked her hands
, I shall never let go,
she vowed

“It’s ok, Trent...everything is ok,” she
soothed, but Trent resisted, “I understand, Trent...please, Trent,”
she pushed, his resistance slowly fading. His knees buckled and
they collapsed to the floor, Sasha tumbling with him, unwilling to
let go...even for a moment.

“Please, Sasha,” he cried, “I...I don't want
to be hurt anymore, I'm...I’m not the man you think I am...I'm
trash, just like Sir Simwa said,” Trent's voice sounded alien, void
of all emotions, just a hollow, pleading shell.

“I thought you said you'd trust me?” Sasha
let her anger take control. “Or are my words no longer good enough
for you!” she accused, harsher then she’d meant to, but knowing
sometimes it was kinder to be harsh.

“I do, but this...this is different,” he told
through gritted teeth, fighting a battle within himself, his mind
in turmoil. Sasha wanted to climb within to join the fight, to
wrestle him free of his demons.

“How is it different, Trent? If you don't
tell me, how can I help you, please...please, Trent,” she pushed,
hoping to clutch his thoughts and drag him clear of his protective
shell.

“It's...it’s feelings...my feelings,” he
whispered, “every time I...I let them free, I...I end up hurt,” his
voice cracked, a shiver of emotion emerging, “I can't, not again, I
can't go through that again...” she felt his absolute fear and
hopelessness, its strength causing her to shiver uncontrollably as
his skin seemed to cool.
Though I’m getting through to him,
she knew,
I just need to push a little harder,
dig a
little deeper, get him to open up, then,
she promised,
I
will do the same.

“Trent, tell me this feeling. Tell me what it
is that you cannot admit. For I promise you, no matter what the
emotion is, I will accept you,” Sasha's heart beat wildly as she
understood what she was trying to force Trent to say, and exactly
what it would do to him...and...to her. Trent’s shiver became an
uncontrollable tremor, like a massive earthquake ravaged just
beneath his skin. Sasha held him tighter, squeezing all her
emotion, all her warmth into his flesh...then, as if his inner
battle ended abruptly, he stiffened.

“Let me...me turn...turn around,” he
whispered, voice faltering as if every word caused him immense
pain. Sasha loosened her grip, just barely, allowing him to slowly
spin to face her. When his hazel green eyes, bloodshot and puffy,
stared into hers, she knew then who had won the battle. A finger
brushed her flushing cheek, a light caress, a gentle touch.

“Sasha, my...my feelings for you are...” he
stuttered, continuing to fight the remnants of an unseen enemy, the
urge to keep his feelings hidden, locked away, openly visible as he
cringed before her. She knew he needed to win, needed to express
his heart. So she held his gaze, not allowing him to look away,
“they are something that...that if I accept, may cause me such
grief, that I may finally break completely...lose all
hope...it's...” Sasha saw it beyond the sorrow...beyond the
despair...beyond the fear.

“You must tell me your feelings, Trent, no
matter if it causes pain now or in the future,” she urged, knowing
she needed to push harder, deeper, no matter the cost, “forget my
titles, forget your past, they mean nothing. The only thing that
matters is us, now, and how we feel. Tell me, Trent, tell me your
feelings,” she pleaded
, begging
him to say
what she already knew. He winced, cheeks flushing a deep crimson,
like her words pierced his very soul, causing pain beyond
reckoning. His head drooped, then slowly rose. His eyes opened,
looking refreshed, reborn, and she knew who had won.

“I love you,” her heart stopped.

“I've loved you from the moment I first saw
you in my dreams. The moment you emerged from the shuttle, I
thought my heart would burst from the love I felt. The moment I
first held you in my arms, I never wanted to let go, my love for
you beyond imaging...no matter how much my mind screamed, told me
to stop, that she is above you, too good for you. But it doesn't
matter, none of it matters anymore. My heart loves you, my mind
loves you, my body loves you, and most of all...my very soul loves
you...Sasha, I love you...” he finally confessed, his words
overflowing with raw emotion, of love and hate, of joy and sorrow,
of hope and fear, and she froze...terrified.

She sensed this moment was coming from the
first time she beheld him on that faithful day, confused and
innocent. Then again, when he appeared within her dreams, she knew
he was something special. And finally, when he emerged from the
access port to save her, covered in dust with a look of utter
fascination...and love. It had all been leading to this very moment
and she knew, from the moment she started pushing him, urging him
to release the feeling's she'd seen in his eyes, in his words, what
she too would have to do. But now that the time had come, the time
for her to face her own fears, her own past, her own demons, and
accept Trent, a man, for what he was, as he would her.

The words caught in her throat, and fear
crept into his eyes, fear of rejection, fear of betrayal, fear of
once again having someone he loved smash his heart into tiny
pieces. She had all but begged him to express his feelings, and
now, she was unable to express her own. Sasha knew what it meant to
be hurt, she knew the pain of being betrayed by the one you love,
and she knew the fear of loving again. She closed her eyes and took
a deep breath, telling her mind to listen to her heart, to forget
her past. She had made a decision and it was now time to act.

“I love you, Trent,” relief washed over them
both, clearing away those feelings that clung relentlessly to their
souls, “I love you with all my being and all my heart. I feel like
I have always loved you, from the moment I was born, that as soon
as I saw you, I knew we would be together, for the universe itself
seemed to scream it was right. But it scared me, Trent......and
still does. I am scared that you will hurt me, that you will betray
me, like those others, “ she stared deep into the eyes of the man
she loved and saw understanding, the understanding of someone who'd
also known loss, known betrayal, known pain, “but I will trust in
you...for I believe you would never knowingly hurt me. I don't know
how I know...but I know....I love you, Trent...I love you...” she
finished spilling her heart across the floor as another weight
lifted from her shoulders. A cleansing wave rolled through
her...she too was refreshed, born anew.

“I promise that I will never hurt you, I will
never betray you, I will only love you, till the end of my days,”
Trent vowed, as he took control of the swirling soup of emotions
that must be ravaging within. She reached over and placed her hand
on his cheek and said exactly what she knew he needed to hear.