Alone (29 page)

Epilogue

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I stink. Five days on the road without a bath will do that.

When the gates of Coastal Manor come into view, I almost give into the urge to cry. I didn’t really think I’d ever make it back when I said goodbye to Roman. What are the odds? A computer nerd like me driving three hundred miles across zombie-invested America? It’s laughable, alright.

Damn. I can’t wait to see Roman. He’s one of the only people I’d ever be willing to die for. Most people wouldn’t get it. Roman can be an ass and he likes to give off the tough-guy vibe—but I know better.

He’s the only real friend I’ve ever had…go figure.

I slow as I approach the gate, wiggling my ass against the seat. I can’t wait to get off this damn bike. My rear is going to be numb for a least a week, and I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten about a million bugs over the past few days. Not to mention the fact that I smell like ass.

Three guys run to the gate and pull their guns on me when I stop.

“What the hell?” This is new.

I scan the group and blink when my eyes land on Clay. He looks fifteen years older than the last time I saw him. What the hell happened while I was gone?

“Put the guns down!” Clay calls.

No one moves for a second, and Clay’s eyes dart toward the others. I don’t really know the other two. They’re older and have been working the gate since the town was first established. But Clay and I are friends.

“You infected?” Clay finally asks.

“No!” I throw my hands in the air. “I’m dirty as hell and tired as shit and all I want to do is go home, take a shower, screw Carmen, and sleep for about three years! What the hell is going on?”

Something flashes in Clay’s eyes, and for the first time, my sleep-deprived brain acknowledges that something really bad went down here. I open my mouth to ask but slam it shut before the words come out. My stomach knots, and I’m pretty sure if I’d eaten anything other than bugs the last couple of days, it would be splattered all over the road right now.

“We gotta let him in,” Clay says.

One of the other men—I think his name is Chip or Mick or Dick or some shit like that—shakes his head. “Regulator isn’t going to be happy.”

“After what happened, I don’t think the Regulator has a lot of say right now. Not until Atlanta is done with their investigation,” Clay says.

My stomach lurches again. This isn’t good.

Chip or Mick or Dick finally turns to open the gate. The third guy hasn’t said shit—I have no idea what his name is—and he hasn’t lowered his gun.

“I’m not infected. Just tired.” My voice is flat.

The exhaustion has started to take over. I’ve barely slept the last few days. Maybe six hours total, all scattered. I need to get some real sleep so I can think straight, because right now all I can think is that Roman didn’t make it and Jules must have gone on a killing spree…

I hope to God that isn’t true.

The gate swings open and I push my bike through. I’m pretty sure if I get back on it my ass is going to fall off. Chip/Mick/Dick shoots a walker, and the gunshot startles me so bad that I almost pee my pants. I need to get some sleep.

My eyes meet Clay’s, and I know the truth before I ask. I ask anyway. I can’t stand the suspense any longer. “He didn’t make it, did he?”

Clay shakes his head and looks down. “Yes and no. She’d already turned, but it must have just happened. He injected her, and somehow, with the way this virus mutated, she came back. But before she did, she killed him. Roman’s dad shot her in the head when she came out of the building. They thought she was a zombie…she was covered in blood. I tried to stop him—”

I put my hand up. I can’t hear any more…

I start my bike and hop on before anyone can stop me. I need to be alone.

My throat tightens as I ride toward my house, and I have to blink back tears so I can see where I’m going. I want to see my mom so she knows I’m okay. I want to see Carmen so I can cry on her shoulder. Maybe it isn’t the manly thing to do, but when your best friend gets eaten by his girlfriend, you’re entitled to one good cry.

The houses whirl by, and my bitterness grows and threatens to smash me and all the houses and probably even the entire state of South Carolina.

I never understood Roman’s desire to leave. Yeah, I knew it was about his dad. We’d never straight-out talked about it, but I’m smart enough to read between the lines. But an unsanctioned town just sounded insane to me. But now…I get it.

This wasn’t Roman’s fault. It wasn’t Jules’ fault, it wasn’t the fault of the hijackers or the zombies or the government. It was the Regulator’s fault. If he’d been even half the father he should have been, this never would have happened. Roman wouldn’t have had to leave, and Jules wouldn’t have been bitten.

For the first time since I moved to Coastal Manor, I want to escape. I can’t stay here. Not anymore.

Note from the Author

There’s a fifty percent chance that you are cursing me right now. I knew this ending would make a lot of people furious before I published
Alone
, but I chose to go ahead with it because I like the way it ends. It isn’t happy or fair, but it’s real. Things don’t always end happily ever after, especially not in a zombie apocalypse. Plus, if you read my Dedication and Foreword, you’ll know that I got the idea for this book from a dream my husband had, and this is how it ended. If you’re pissed at me, just know you aren’t the only one. Even my best friend was so angry at how this novel ended that she refused to finish it.

Before you leave a horrible review based solely on your emotions, STOP and read this next part.

Since I was aware that some readers might enjoy an alternate ending that isn’t full of blood and gore, but instead wraps everything up in a neat little package, I have included an alternate happily ever after ending for anyone who might be considering putting a hit out on me right now. Hopefully, the next two chapters will help ease your feelings of anger.

Kate L. Mary

Alternate Ending

Overwhelming, mind controlling, all-consuming hunger.

Feed.

Feed.

Feed.

Feed.

Everything is muddled and confused. I’m swimming in a sea of urges that I don’t know how to control. But I am still here. A part of me still understands what’s happening—just a little.

There’s me.

There’s a room.

And there’s the need to eat that has almost completely taken over my body.

Something pierces my neck, but no pain accompanies it. It’s startling, but nothing compared to the overwhelming hunger.

I turn, and
he
is there.

Something about his face makes me freeze, almost sparking a memory.

I know this face…

Hunger creeps back up on me, and the memory is gone faster than a shooting star. The hunger radiates through my body and fills every inch of me until it bursts out of me in the form of a moan. The sound startles the part of me that is still conscious, the part locked away in my brain, but my body doesn’t react.

I
have
to feed.

The person in front of me collapses on the floor, and my stomach rumbles.
Yes.

I force my limbs to move. They are slower than I’m used to. My body doesn’t respond to me the way I want it to. It’s sluggish. Gradual. Nothing feels right.

But I can’t quite grasp the memory of what it used to feel like…

This person—this boy—raises something that seems oddly familiar. He points it at me, and a spark goes off in my head but is gone in the blink of an eye. Whatever this thing is, it is nothing compared to my need to eat. I work harder at pulling myself forward. The boy drops the thing, and when it hits the floor the sound echoes through the room, but it isn’t loud enough to drown out the hunger pounding in my ears.

My hands are on him now. The heat from his skin radiates under palms. It’s inviting.

Blood courses through his veins, practically screaming at me from under his pale skin. It’s louder than the hunger. So much louder… But not as demanding.

This hunger is so,
so
demanding.

I want to give in.

Stop!

I close my eyes when a voice screams in my head, but it takes a second to realize that it’s
me
. The me still buried inside this body, struggling to fight off the hunger. Struggling to cling to reality.

“Jules.”

My eyes fly open. In front of me, the boy is crying. No. Not the boy…Roman. Roman is crying? Why? What’s going on?

Hunger roars in my ears.

I need to feed.

The boy shifts, and my senses explode. He’s so warm. So inviting. The blood pumping through his veins calls to me.

I pull myself closer to him, and this time my body cooperates. The sluggishness that had coated my body a few seconds ago seems to have eased, and the cloudiness in my brain has started to clear. With the clarity, the hunger has begun to fade…

Light glints off the tears on Roman’s cheeks. I’m right here, though. Right in front of him. Why is he upset? What could have happened?

I open my mouth to ask him, but the words float away and instead a moan breaks out of my chest. Roman lifts his head, and when his gaze lands on me, the grief and pain and repulsion in his eyes speaks volumes.

He thinks I’ve turned. He thinks he was too late.

For the second time, I open my mouth to tell him I’m okay, but again nothing happens. I turn away, frustrated, and my gaze lands on something. The thing he’d had in his hand not too long ago. A gun.

My heart, which was labored and slow not too long ago, begins to thump faster. With it, my body starts to warm and heat moves to my cheeks. The clouds lift, and Jules tries to claw her way to the surface.

I sit back. Blink.

Memories of the past few days and weeks return, slowly at first, and then so fast my head threatens to explode. Meeting Roman, falling in love, deciding to leave, getting bitten. Being here.

I remember my father. His tears. How it felt like my insides were on fire. My teeth were chattering and my limbs ached and the bite on my leg throbbed like it had a life of its own. I remember begging for Roman to come save me. I wanted to die.

I remember the little prick in my neck.

He made it. Roman got to Atlanta and back, and he brought the vaccine. He did it in time. He saved my life.

Only he doesn’t know it.

I lift my head and find his eyes on me. The confusion in his expression hasn’t chased away the pain just yet, but it’s obvious he knows something is happening now. With each passing second, I start to feel more like myself. More coherent and human.

I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath, savoring the feeling of my lungs filling with air.

When I open my eyes, I say, “Roman.”

The word croaks its way out of me, but it isn’t a moan. Roman’s mouth drops open, and he blinks. Like me, he seems to be trying to find his voice.

I swallow and try again. “Roman. I’m—”

“Jules.” He pushes off the wall and crawls toward me. “I thought you were dead.”

I shake my head to clear the last little bit of confusion from my brain. “I almost was.”

Roman’s shoulders shake, but this time the tears that fall down his cheek are accompanied by a sigh of relief so big it nearly fills the room. He takes my face between his hands and stares at me. His eyes boring into mine until it feels like he can see into my soul.

“I thought I failed.” He kisses my cheek, and it hits me that tears have begun to fall from my eyes as well. “I hated myself for failing. I wanted to die. I was ready to.”

“No,” I say, pulling myself closer to him.

The heat of his body is warm and inviting, but it causes a shiver to run down my spine at the thought of what almost happened here. It was so close. I was so close to tearing Roman apart.

I push the thought away and press my lips to his, squeezing my eyes shut. Trying to block out the memories of the last two days. The memory of the pain and anguish is so vivid in my mind that it’s nearly impossible, but with it comes the realization that my dad was actually here. He cares about me, and he is sorry for the past.

I pull back. “We have to tell my dad that I’m okay. He must think I’m dead by now.”

Roman clears his throat as he swipes his hand across his face. When he stands, he pulls me with him, but even when we’re both up he doesn’t let go of my hand. He holds it like he may never let me go. I’m okay with that.

“I didn’t see him in the building when I got back, but he could be in his office.”

He pulls the door open, and I let out a deep sigh. I never really thought I’d walk out of this room again.

The town hall is more silent then a graveyard. Our footsteps echo through the building as we move, but every room we pass is empty. Outside, the sun is low, but with as disoriented as I am, I’m not sure if it’s morning or night. I don’t care, though. All I care about is finding my dad and starting my life with Roman.

“No one is here,” Roman says after we’ve checked every room.

“He must have gone home.”

A pang shoots through me when I think about him abandoning me again, but it’s quickly chased away by the memory of how torn up he was. He doesn’t know another way to deal with his pain. I can’t really blame him for not wanting to watch his daughter turn into a zombie.

“We’ll go to him.”

Roman moves to the front door, pulling me with him.

When we step outside I suck in a mouthful of fresh air, and a smile breaks out of me. It’s evening, and the sun has almost dipped below the horizon. The sky above us is orange and pink, and not a single cloud is visible. Birds sing and a soft breeze blows, making branches clink against each other. I absorb every sound and sight, cataloging them away as all the things I want to hold on to. This moment with Roman is one of the best of my life.

“What the hell are you doing?”

We both turn toward the sound of the angry voice, and for the first time, I notice the group of men on the lawn. Their faces are like masks of anger as they charge toward us, with Roman’s father leading the way. The Regulator doesn’t even try to control his rage, and my heart hammers a foreboding rhythm when his fingers flex around the gun in his hand.

“You don’t have permission to let her out!” His voice booms through the silence. “And after what you did at the gate, you might as well get your ass back in there. I’m shipping you off to D.C. first thing in the morning.”

“She’s fine,” Roman says. “I got the vaccine in time.”

“She won’t be fine until she has a bullet in her brain,” the Regulator growls.

Roman drops my hand and charges across the lawn, closing the distance between himself and his father in less than fifteen seconds. Roman’s fist makes contact with his dad’s nose before the Regulator has even had a chance to react. Blood spurts out of the Mr. Smith’s nostrils, and he covers his face with his hands as he drops to the ground. Roman doesn’t stop there, though. He kicks his dad in the stomach, then reaches down and grabs his shirt.

“I should have done this a long time ago.” Roman’s shoulders heave. “I won’t let you use me like a punching bag anymore, and you sure as hell don’t have a say in my life. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t have a say in much of anything after Atlanta finds out what you’ve done here. The Judicial Officer’s daughter?” Roman shakes his head. “You should have played it a little smarter if you wanted to keep your job.”

He shoves his father down and backs away. The men who were with the Regulator haven’t moved. It’s like they don’t know how to react. If I were anyone else, they’d probably do Rick’s bidding and put me down, but Roman has made an excellent point: I am the JO’s daughter, and Atlanta sent him here to whip this settlement into shape.

“Juliana?” I turn to find my dad standing next to his car, his eyes wide as they move over me.

In the middle of the altercation, I didn’t even hear my dad drive up. But here he his, stumbling toward me. His expression is one of disbelief, but it can’t conceal the rings under his eyes or how disheveled his clothes are. The man who is always immaculate looks like he’s been living on the streets.

“Dad.”

I run toward him, and just like a movie, we meet in the middle of the lawn. He throws his arms around me and sobs, his entire body shaking. Then his legs give out and he drags me to the ground, but he doesn’t stop crying.

“I thought you were gone. I was coming back to put you out of your misery. How did this happen? I can’t believe it.”

“Roman saved me.” I pull back so I can look my father in the eye. “He promised he would, and he did.”

The boy in question stops next to us, and my father reaches up so he can grab Roman’s hand. “Thank you.”

Roman nods, too choked up to talk, and I wipe my own tears from my cheeks as I reach up to hold his other hand. After the hours and hours of agony I went through, I didn’t think anything could make me feel whole again, but I was wrong. Roman has. When he met me I didn’t know who I was or where I fit into this crazy world, but now, sitting in front of my dad with the boy I love next to me, I know I’m in the right place. Coastal Manor is my home, and I have a strong suspicion that Roman will agree with me about that.