Almost Perfect (51 page)

‘You know you could have asked Liam to come tonight?' Nick called from the kitchen.

Georgie was sitting on the lounge feeding Nicholas, which was where she could be found almost any time of the day or night these past couple of weeks.

‘So you keep saying . . . and keep saying.'

Nick brought her over a glass of water. ‘I just think you should have asked him. It is a family dinner.'

Nick had invited everyone over because Georgie had made the decision she was going home tomorrow, finally. He wasn't able to talk her into ‘just one more night' like he had the first three times.

‘It's not too late. Why don't you call him now?'

‘Nick, you're going to have to get used to the idea that having a baby together doesn't make us a couple.'

‘But being the father of my nephew makes him family.'

‘You're like a dog with a bone, Nick,' Georgie groaned.

He perched on the lounge next to Georgie. ‘I just think maybe he deserves a second chance.'

Georgie looked squarely at him. ‘Why?'

‘Well, he seems like a pretty good guy, and he is the father of your baby–'

‘So you think we should get together because of Nicholas, like couples who stay together for the sake of the children?'

‘No, it wouldn't be like that.'

‘Why wouldn't it be? You're making a pretty big assumption here, Nick.'

‘What assumption?'

‘That I still have feelings for Liam.'

‘Well, don't you?'

Georgie hesitated. ‘That's beside the point. Look, even if I was prepared to forget that he hurt me, forget that he betrayed me and his wife at the same time, if I could put aside that I can't trust him, that I'll never be able to trust him, the thing is, it's not just about me any more,' she explained. ‘I have a child to think about now. I don't want Nicholas to have to go through what we went through, Nick. I want him to feel loved and secure and safe, his whole life. He'll never know any different than his parents have always lived separately, and so he'll never have to go through losing his dad, or watching him leave.'

‘What makes you so sure Liam would leave?'

‘Because that's what he does.'

‘It's what he did once, because he fell in love with you.'

‘And you don't think it's possible another woman could turn his head in a couple of years?'

‘Anything's possible, Georgie. But is it likely?'

Georgie felt frustrated. Had Nick so completely forgotten what it felt like to be betrayed?

‘I can't take the chance, the odds aren't good enough for my son. And I don't have a great track record, Nick. I trust my own instincts less than I trust Liam, I'm afraid.'

Nick reached his hand across the back of the lounge and squeezed her shoulder affectionately. ‘I just don't want you to be alone.'

Georgie smiled at him. ‘I won't be alone, I've got Nicholas.'

He watched her gazing lovingly down at the baby. ‘You don't have to go, you know.'

‘Yes, we do.'

‘But what's the hurry?'

‘Nick, I'm getting too used to this. You bring me a glass of water every time I sit down to feed, make my meals, watch Nicholas while I have a shower. And best of all, keep me company. But the longer I go on like this, the harder it's going to be to do it on my own.' She paused, looking plaintively at him. ‘It's making me anxious. I don't know if I'm going to be any good at this until I try.'

‘I still don't know if I'm any good at it,' he smiled.

There was a loud knock and they looked up as Jules appeared from the hall.

‘Hi, the door was open,' she said timidly. ‘Um, Zan said she'd meet me here.' She paused. ‘She had a
meeting up at Whale Beach this afternoon and I said it would be silly for her to come all the way back to pick me up.' She stood there, looking awkward. They were so unused to seeing Jules without Zan that Nick and Georgie were both a little disconcerted.

Jules checked her watch. ‘She must be running late.'

Nick roused, jumping up off the lounge. ‘Come on in, Jules.'

She walked hesitantly into the room.

‘Sorry I can't get up,' said Georgie, ‘I'm a little couch-bound these days.'

‘Please, don't apologise,' said Jules, coming over to her. ‘How's he doing?'

Georgie smiled down at Nicholas while he fed, oblivious to all else. ‘He's doing just fine.'

‘Oh, jeez,' exclaimed Nick. ‘I have to pick up the girls. I won't be long. Sorry Jules, I'll be a proper host when I get back.'

‘Don't worry about me, Nick. Please, haven't I been round long enough by now that you can stop treating me like a guest?'

‘Well, if that's the way you feel, I'll have to find some jobs for you when I get back.'

‘I thought you'd never ask.'

Nick smiled at her, a little bemused. Then he glanced down at Georgie. ‘You'll be right, Georgie girl?'

She nodded. ‘Go, you're late.'

He grabbed his keys from the bench and raced out the door.

‘Sit Jules,' Georgie urged. ‘He's almost finished, I think. I hope so anyway, I'm busting for the loo.'

‘Do you want me to take him for you?'

Georgie looked at her. ‘Are you sure?'

‘Of course.'

She passed him across to Jules and picked up a cloth nappy, positioning it over her shoulder. ‘He might chuck up on you. Watch out.'

‘He'll be fine,' Jules smiled as Georgie stood up, taking a couple of tentative steps backwards, watching them. ‘And take your time.'

Georgie did take a moment to wash her face and put a brush through her hair. When she returned to the living room, Jules was standing over by the doors overlooking the garden, swaying back and forth gently as she gazed down at Nicholas.

‘He's so beautiful,' Jules said as Georgie walked up to them. ‘You're very lucky, Georgie.'

‘I know I am,' she hesitated. ‘You will be one day too.'

Jules looked directly into her eyes, and slowly shook her head. ‘No, it's not going to happen for us, Georgie.'

‘Yes it will, you just have to give it time.'

She sighed. ‘No, you don't understand. The IVF treatment really took it out of me. I didn't know if I was up to going through it all over again in the US, so far away from home. When you stop and work out the cost of having a baby like that, not only financially, but physically and emotionally, well, you start to wonder if it's all worth it.'

‘Liam reckons it broke up his marriage,' Georgie murmured.

‘That wouldn't surprise me,' said Jules. ‘I had to
make the decision about what was best for us as a couple. Zan was prepared to support me all the way, and I love her for that. But I couldn't do it to her in the end.' She shrugged. ‘I'm lucky to have found a wonderful partner to share my life with. Sometimes you can't have everything, but when you've come this close to perfect, why push your luck?'

Georgie felt tears coming on. Again. Her emotions were so close to the surface these days, they were almost overwhelming at times.

She sniffed. ‘It doesn't seem fair. You'd make a wonderful mother, Jules. And Liam's wife, well, she went through years of heartache and was never able to fall pregnant. What did I ever do to deserve Nicholas?'

‘Georgie,' Jules chided, ‘it doesn't work like that. People don't get things in life because they deserve them. If that was the case no one would ever starve, and nurses and teachers would be paid more than blokes who kick a ball around a field.' She shook her head. ‘Who knows why things turn out the way they do? The only thing you can know for sure is that Nicholas was meant to be here, and he was put into your safekeeping. So if I were you, I'd cherish every moment I had with him.'

Nick rushed inside, just beating the machine to answer the phone. ‘Hello?'

‘Hi Nick, it's Liam.'

‘Oh, hi, mate. You just missed her, I'm afraid.'

‘She went out?'

‘No, she went home. I've just come from her place. Didn't she tell you she was going home?'

‘No.'

Nick groaned, ‘I'm going to whack that girl one day.'

‘Do you think she's ready to be on her own?'

‘No, of course I don't. But she's trying to be all independent and prove something or other.' He paused. ‘Hey, why don't you go round there? Surprise her?'

‘I don't know. Won't that just annoy her?'

‘No, she may not show it, but secretly she'll like it. She's got this idea in her head that she has to be able to do it on her own. She doesn't want to admit she needs help.'

Liam hesitated, thinking it over. ‘Maybe I could take her some dinner?'

‘Good idea. I'll give you the name of the Thai place she likes, they do takeaway.'

At six-thirty Liam stood outside Georgie's door, not at all sure he should have come after all. But he had a bag of hot food, and he really wanted to see her
and the baby, even if it was only for a little while. He took a deep breath and knocked firmly on the door. A few moments later it swung open and Georgie stood frowning at him, Nicholas slung over her shoulder like a sack of baby potatoes.

‘What are you doing here?'

‘Sorry, I should have called.'

‘Yes, you should have.'

‘I brought food.'

She sighed, peering down at the bag in his hand. ‘What is it?'

‘Thai, from your favourite place–'

‘I can't have spicy food!' she exclaimed, turning and stomping back inside.

Well, this was going well. She'd left the door open, so Liam presumed he was allowed to enter. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Georgie was standing in the middle of the living room, jiggling Nicholas around. She looked agitated.

‘Why can't you eat spicy food?' he asked.

‘Because it might upset the baby.'

‘But what do mothers in Thailand eat?'

‘I don't know, but I'm not in Thailand, okay?'

‘Okay, sorry.' He paused. Walking the tightrope. ‘I could cook you something else?'

‘No.'

‘Why, have you eaten already?'

‘No I haven't, because I was going to make myself something as soon as I finished feeding Nicholas and got him off to sleep, except he did a big poo, didn't he? And now I have to change him, which will wake him right up and I'll have to feed
him again to settle him off, so I guess I'll cook something some time later tonight.'

‘I could change him while you eat.'

‘You don't know how to change him.'

‘Yes I do, I did it in the hospital, remember?'

She looked torn. She was biting her lip, resisting. He had to give her a way out. ‘I have to learn how to take care of Nicholas too,' he said, ‘and I can't if you don't give me a chance.'

Georgie sighed. ‘Okay,' she relented, ‘change his nappy, if you want to that badly.' She crossed the room to the hall. ‘Come and I'll show you where everything is.'

Liam left the bag of food on the dining table and followed her into the second bedroom.

‘He'll be a mess, so you'll probably have to change his suit as well,' she said, reaching for an allin-one in the cupboard and handing it to Liam. ‘Use these wipes, and here are the nappies, and if he's a little red I like to put a dab of this paw-paw cream on him, but you know, don't worry about that, I can do it next time. And the singlets are in the first drawer, and what else . . .'

‘Go and eat,' said Liam, lifting Nicholas off her shoulder.

‘Support his head,' Georgie cautioned. ‘And you're going to need a chuck-bib.'

‘Not if I'm laying him straight down,' he said, lowering Nicholas carefully onto the change table.

‘Well, for when you carry him back out,' she said, placing a cloth nappy over Liam's shoulder.

‘Thanks,' he said, ‘I can take it from here.'

Georgie was biting her lip again, watching him.

‘Scoot!' he insisted.

She trudged back out to the living room and saw the bag of takeaway sitting on the dining table. She went over and opened it, breathing in the delicious fragrant aroma. She was starving. She hadn't eaten since Nick left, after he'd made her a sandwich for lunch. God, she was useless, she hadn't even managed to feed herself today. She contemplated the plastic takeaway containers. ‘Bugger it.'

When Liam came back out, Georgie looked up sheepishly, her fork poised above the tubs of food, all open, spread out before her. She swallowed down a mouthful.

‘I tested it first, and it didn't seem too spicy,' she said. ‘But I'm still going to blame you if he ends up with the runs or colic or something.'

‘Of course,' he conceded, rocking gently from side to side as he cradled Nicholas in his arms.

‘How'd you go?' she asked.

‘Fine.' Then he grimaced. ‘What's that smell?'

Georgie sighed, pointing to a knotted plastic bag sitting on top of the kitchen bin. ‘Oh, sour milk and petrified chicken, and some other things that defied identification. I forgot to clean the fridge out before I left. I nearly keeled over when I opened the door today. Nick forgot to take the bag down with him. And I haven't had a chance . . .'

‘Well, I'll take it down to the bin later. But in the meantime,' he said, stooping to pick up the bag while he supported Nicholas with one arm, ‘it might be a good idea to put it out on the balcony.'

‘Why didn't I think of that?' she muttered as she hurried ahead of him, sliding the door open to the balcony. He set it down and stepped back inside. Georgie closed the door again.

‘Do you want me to take him?'

‘He's okay at the moment, you finish your dinner.'

‘I've had enough anyway,' she said, putting the lids back on the containers. ‘Just let me wash my hands.'

‘There's no hurry.'

Georgie walked around to the kitchen sink. ‘Yeah, well, I don't want to keep you. I'm sure you've got more important things to do.'

‘Nothing more important than this,' he said seriously.

She met his eyes across the kitchen bench, but she had to look away again. ‘Well, whatever, I have to get used to handling things by myself. I ought to be able to look after the baby and feed myself, that's pretty basic.'

‘But if I'm right here–'

‘You can't be here all the time.'

‘I can, actually.'

‘Liam!' she returned sharply. She came around the bench, took Nicholas from him, and then walked around the corner to sit on the sofa. Liam heard the television come on. She was annoyed now. He stacked up the containers of food and put them away in the fridge, giving Georgie a minute to cool off. When he came around the corner, she was feeding the baby, staring listlessly at the TV. She looked up at him.

‘I'm sorry if I upset you,' he began. ‘I was only trying to help.'

Georgie sighed. She picked up the remote and muted the sound. ‘It's just that everybody keeps making me feel like I'm useless.' Liam went to interrupt, but she continued. ‘I know you don't mean to, and Nick doesn't mean to, but when you keep insisting I need help, it feels like you don't think I can manage.'

‘No, Georgie, that's not it,' said Liam, lowering himself to sit on the edge of the coffee table in front of her. ‘The thing is, why should you have to manage? I wouldn't want to do this on my own, I'm sure I couldn't do it on my own.'

‘Well, I don't have a choice.'

He resisted the impulse to say, yes, you do.

‘And I don't know how I'm going to manage,' she went on. ‘My God, do you think this is the first time I've let food go off in the refrigerator? I'm always forgetting things, I'm untidy, disorganised–'

‘Georgie, those things don't matter.' ‘Yes they do,' she insisted. ‘Damn,' she said, glancing around her.

‘What is it?'

‘See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. I get thirsty when I'm feeding and I can't even remember to get a glass of water before I sit down.'

‘I'll get it for you,' Liam said, ducking around to the kitchen. He returned a moment later and handed her a glass.

‘Georgie, I know you don't like me saying it, but you don't have to do this on your own. I mean it. You
can phone me any time of the day or night. I should be the first one you call.'

‘I'll see,' she said quietly. She sipped from the glass of water. Liam stood there awkwardly. He didn't want to go, but he didn't want to wear out his welcome either.

‘Thanks, you know, for the food,' Georgie said after a while.

She wanted him to go, so the decision was made for him.

‘Is there anything else you need?' he asked.

She shook her head.

‘All right,' he sighed. ‘Have a good night, try to get some rest.'

‘I will.' He turned in the wrong direction. ‘Door's the other way, Liam,' she called after him.

‘Just getting the garbage,' he reminded her.

‘Oh.'

He reappeared, marching the offending bag straight out the front door, pausing at the threshold to look back at her. ‘Call me,' he said, before closing the door behind him.