Almost Ordinary (The Song Wreckers Book 2) (9 page)

All day until I left he made comments about the party. I tried to be casual and failed. My face burned whenever he spoke.

“Should I run to the ATM and grab you some extra cash?”

To which I replied, “Shut up.”

Then, “Should I stock up on batteries while you’re gone?”

To which I replied, “Caleb, shut up!”

His next dumbass comment was, “I’ve never tasted edible underwear. Might be good.”

To which I told him, “I swear to God I’m not going to even look at anything, much less buy anything.”

And as I was about to leave, he said, “Take lots of pictures and come home with something good.” Then a smack on my ass.

I rolled my eyes and threw my hands up in the air, then let them flop down. It was pointless to say anything more at that point. I should’ve told him we were going to a strip club and that I’d drain our bank account by sticking lots of bills in lots of G-strings.

Although I had a few drinks since I’d weaned the boys, they were weak mixed drinks, and I didn’t drink more than a small glass at a time. Just a little bit helped me relax, and I’ve been off alcohol for so long my tolerance was low. Like, to the floor low. I was no prude, but casually discussing sex toys while sober embarrassed the hell out of me. And I wasn’t responsible for anyone except myself tonight, and wasn’t driving home. Each drink lifted a small weight off my shoulders and lowered my inhibitions. Pretty soon I felt like I’d graduated from Caleb’s princess to a mother fucking queen, waving around sex toys and weighing the pros and cons of each.

I stumbled home off the party bus trashed out of my mind with two bags full of stuff.

I punched in the garage code, which proved difficult since I saw a few of every number, tripped over a garbage can, and felt my way to the door.

Somehow I made it to our bedroom. I tried to act sober. Almost falling over and crashing into the dresser as soon as I entered must’ve given me away. I managed to change into a clean T-shirt, then fell against the door leading into the master bath and it crashed against the wall.

Caleb sat up in bed. “Jesus, you okay?”

“Tooootally fine. Totally. Doing great. Shit!” I ran into the corner of the bed, dropped the bags, and fell on my ass. “Damn it. Stupid bed.” I left the bags where they fell and put my hands out to steady myself for standing. Any second I was going to get up.

“I’ll sleep down here.” I closed my eyes. Everything spun in my head. “Whoa.”

I was flying. So cool! Then, I wasn’t. “Hey,” I complained, then opened my eyes. Caleb had carried me to bed. “Oh, okay.”

I felt his lips kiss my forehead. “What’s in the bags?” he asked.

“Stuff,” I slurred, then passed out.

Chapter 11

The next morning, I awoke fuzzy-headed and alone in bed. I spent a good fifteen minutes, maybe hours, in the bathroom purging any last alcohol left in my system, then rinsed my face with cold water. I trudged to the closet and tripped over something. What the . . . ?

Two bags sat on the floor, one fallen over. A vague flashback zoomed through my brain. I cringed as I peeked in the bags. Holy mother of God, what were all those sex toys doing in there? I sat on the bed. Handcuffs, massage oils, dildos, big dildos, little dildos—good God, how many dildos did I now own?— feathery-tickle things, edible underwear, electronic gizmos, and some stuff I didn’t have a clue what they were stared up at me.

I couldn’t help myself and picked up one package that intrigued me: an intro kit for beginners. I shook it, too chicken to rip it open. A pair of wrist straps sat next to something that wasn’t a real tube of lipstick, and the dice with dirty suggestions written on each side were at least tamer than a lot of the other items I’d bought. I dropped everything into the bags and shoved them under the bed with my feet.

Franny sat at the kitchen table feeding the boys. She grimaced when she saw me. “Ram left a half hour ago. How are you feeling?”

I kissed the boys’ cheeks. “Ask me after coffee and Advil.” Not caring that the first sip burnt my tongue, I guzzled an even bigger drink to swallow the pills and start the caffeine flow I desperately needed. Mmm. Better already, though I still felt like shit. I gestured to the baby spoon she held. “I can do that.”

Franny shook her head. “Why don’t you go take a shower?”

“It’s okay, I can feed them.”

“No really, you should shower.”

A few minutes later, hot water washed the edge off my hangover. I texted Caleb once I was cleaned and redressed.
Up and alive.

Concentrating on simple tasks proved challenging. I fed the kids lunch and accidentally stuck the baby spoon up a nostril instead of in the mouth. Franny had to give them their bottles because they preferred to be rocked, which felt like a roller coaster to me. A gigantic, winding, swirling, vomit-inducing roller coaster. When Alex or Zander cried it felt like my brain might explode. It was a long day.

I Googled hangover remedies, and by the time Caleb came home from work that evening I felt like myself again, only tired. I’d loaded up on pain killers, water and vitamin packed foods, so my stomach settled to normal and my headache vanished.

Caleb knew the contents of the bags. He kept telling me that he loved the boys but couldn’t wait until we put them to bed for the night. He wasn’t shy about wanting to try some of the new goodies I bought while drunk. His exact words were, “It’s like Father’s Day, my birthday, and Christmas all rolled into one. This is going to be awesome!” He smiled, those dimples drawing me in, and his eyes lit up. Even tired, I tingled at his reaction.

Every embarrassing minute at the bachelorette party, and the hangover, was worth it. Yeah, we had fun with the toys. Some embarrassed me just to look at, much less use, so we kept to the tamer items like the massage gels and tickly things. Caleb didn’t care, and letting him play was about so much more than the fun. It was about how it allowed us to reconnect and focus on each other.

I didn’t know I’d bought a book detailing sexual positions until Caleb dug it out. We had to work together to try a lot of the positions. It reminded us how good our physical connection was, and the importance of communication. We were Team Ramsey.

We laughed, we loved, we remembered.

So by the time Katie and Brett’s wedding rolled around, Caleb and I were like two giddy teenagers.

The night before the wedding I made him promise not to play with items from the bags. For the love of God, I needed a full night’s sleep. If I showed up at the wedding with bags under my eyes Katie would kill me. Caleb had let me sleep in the day of as well, which proved he was the best husband ever.

Katie Scarlett Culver, soon to be Jensen, made the most beautiful, exquisite bride I had ever seen. I didn’t think it possible for Katie to be more beautiful. Her face, her entire being, glowed, highlighted by her blonde hair swept up in a fancy chignon. The most simple, gorgeous white dress draped over her perfect curves. She took my breath away. It was a far cry from the big white tent I had to wear when Caleb and I got married at the courthouse in my eighth month of pregnancy.

Mama and I tried not to cry so Katie wouldn’t stress us about ruining our makeup. We both fanned our faces with our hands, and craned our necks upward so snot wouldn’t escape our noses or tears our eyes. I was beyond happy for her. Mama was relieved to be one step closer to getting more grandchildren. It meant a lot to me that she considered herself Alex and Zander’s—
shiver—
Meemaw.

The ceremony went off without a hitch, as I knew anything Katie planned would. It was too formal for my taste, but perfect for Katie. Because Katie and I were best friends, it was inevitable that Caleb and Brett would become good friends. Brett had been kind enough to include Caleb as one of his groomsmen so we were able to walk down the aisle together. Char babysat the boys overnight for us. Our first fancy date together.

As we entered the reception hall, the DJ introduced the bridal party and the bride and groom. Everyone clapped for us as we made our way toward our table. “Did I ever tell you how glad I am that we didn’t do all this?” I whispered to Caleb. I gestured to the hall and everything in it.

“Really?” he whispered back. “Because I always felt bad that I didn’t give you all this.”

Brett and Katie kissed so we paused and clapped for the happy couple, then finished the walk to our seats.

“It’s nice. I mean, look at everything.” Our heads circled around the hall. “I guess I liked the intimacy of our elopement. This just seems like too much. Don’t tell Katie I said that.” Someone clinked their spoon against a glass, so everyone else clinked their spoons to their glasses. We watched Katie and Brett kiss again, then sat when the rest of the wedding party gathered at the head table.

Since Mama was my unofficial mother, that made Katie my sister. Ergo, Brett was my new brother-in-law. And what does one do with a brother-in-law? They fuck with ‘em.

I leaned in toward the newlyweds. “Hey Katie since
we’re both married what do you say to gaining fifty pounds? Let’s give our husbands more to love.” I smacked my hands on my stomach.

Caleb squeezed my hip. “Go for it.”

Brett retaliated with, “Wait, how old are your kids and how long have you been married?”

“Shut up,” I told him. “The wedding date was prior to their birth date. That’s all that matters. And congratulations.” I side-hugged Katie. Next I lightly punched Brett on the arm and whispered, “Enjoy Katie being skinny while you can.”

I did zero alcohol drinking at the wedding since I didn’t want to spend the next day feeling like shit. Caleb stopped once he started feeling a buzz. We had until morning without kids and he wanted to take full advantage of the alone time as soon as we were home, never mind that it was midnight and we were both spent. He was still determined to work our way through the bags of toys from the bachelorette party, and hey, who was I to argue? Life’s stresses would return soon enough, so I was going to enjoy his good mood while I could.

Which lasted until he went into work on Monday.

Caleb called me late into the morning. “Cooper wants to know,” he began to ask, the irritation of having to do so plain as day in his voice, “which pain pill he’s allowed to take. His leg is bothering him.”

Somewhat offended because
I’ve
been like a damn nurse to the man, I asked, “Cooper called
you
to ask which pill to take?”

“No,” he said, “Cooper returned to work today. He forgot the chart thing you made him and asked me to call you to see if you remembered.”

“Cooper’s at work already?”

“Princess, just tell me what pill he can take. He’s being a complete pain in everyone’s ass, and it gets worse the more pain he’s in.”

“Tell him to only take the eight hundred milligrams of ibuprofen if he’s at work. The other pills will make him tired and groggy meaning he’ll be even harder to deal with.”

“Thanks,” he said, then hung up.

“Love you too, dear,” I said into the dead air.

Cooper reclaiming his reigns at 3D meant Caleb could cut spend more time at home.

If my days taking care of Cooper were over, then good. Great. The added responsibility and stress that it brought wore me the hell out. I hadn’t asked him what I needed to know anyway. It never seemed to be the right time.

I set the phone on the charger, smiling. One less duty for me and some quality time with the couch. I plopped myself down at the exact time that the boys started babbling, announcing the end of their nap.

Ugh, was ten minutes of rest too much to ask for? Did God want me to have bags under my eyes? I peeled myself off the couch and started the second half of the day.

Caleb came home from work that night in a foul mood. He tried not to let it spill over toward us, but his smile never reached his eyes and his talk was minimal. Though he relaxed a bit while we put the boys to bed, he climbed into our bed silent, withdrawn.

“You wanna talk about it?” I asked, crawling in next to him.

He scrubbed his hands down his face. “Not really.”

I didn’t have the mental energy to force conversation out of him. With a shrug I settled myself into the covers earlier than I normally went to bed, but I felt drained. I had been getting up even earlier than normal to work on my music. I even shortened my workouts to squeeze in more time for writing. Add that to staying up late and I was a zombie by the time bed time rolled around.

Within minutes, Caleb’s phone began vibrating like crazy. He picked it up and began answering texts and mumbling curses.

Five minutes later it still hadn’t stopped. The sounds were impossible to ignore, and even dead tired I couldn’t fall asleep through it. It was an obnoxious pattern—buzz, curse, the clicks of a typed response, and calling someone an idiot. Thirty seconds to a minute of silence, then repeat.

Irritated, I asked, “Who is that?”

“Cooper,” he spat.

“Well can you tell him to stop or put your phone on silent? It’s annoying, I’m tired, and it’s too late for that shit.”

“I tried. Multiple times. He’s convinced he can catch up on everything he missed at 3D in one day. I reorganized and he can’t find some things, we picked up new clients and he’s insisting on a rundown on everything that’s been done for them. Add that to thinking he still wants to open another branch in Tampa. He’s crazy trying to take everything on all at once when he’s not even completely healed.” Type, type, type, he kept at it. “He’s driving me and everyone else fucking crazy. If I silence his texts I’m afraid he’ll just come over here.”

I kept my mouth shut, hoping it was done. Then I heard the,
zzzzz
of Caleb’s phone. When he lifted it, I snatched it from him and texted,
This is Molly. Stop. U R being a pain and I’m trying to sleep.
I hit ‘send’ and reached over Caleb to set his phone down on his nightstand. “You’re welcome,” I grumbled, and settled into the covers.

I waited a minute for the buzz. Nothing, blessed silence. My phone jacking worked. I told Caleb, “Good night,” kissed him—on the shoulder I think, my eyes were closed—and welcomed sleep.

I was thiiiiiiis close.

“Figures he listens to you,” Caleb muttered.

Mother fucking hell! All I wanted to do was sleep. I ignored him.

“He doesn’t respect my time, just keeps bugging the shit out of me. But
you
tell him to stop and he does.”

He huffed a few times, I continued to ignore him. He scrambled out of bed, not even trying to be gentle so his weight wouldn’t bounce me around. When he returned he tossed and turned, keeping me from the one thing I wanted: Sleep. Still, I ignored it.

Some minutes passed and I began to drift off into unconsciousness when he jarred me awake by blurting, “Seriously! He’s stomping around and barking out orders, not listening to anyone in the office, telling us all to fuck off or shut the hell up when we tell him to slow down, but teeny tiny you tells him to do something and he obeys.”

That did it.

I sat up and slid a leg over his, then straddled his hips and smiled, super sweet-like. I grinded against his groin for a second. His eyes widened with an intake of breath, so I knew I had him where I wanted him. I put my hands on his chest and leaned down until we were close. “I’m going to be kinder than I want because you called me teeny tiny. But if you don’t shut up and stay still so I can sleep, this—” I grinded against him again. “—will never happen again for as long as you live. That is how bad I want to sleep. I will take away my favorite thing to do with you to punish you for keeping me awake. So if you need to piss and moan and move around, then go downstairs for a while.” I hopped off and, for the last time, resettled myself into comfort.

Shit, I used sex as a weapon against my own husband. Double shit, I didn’t care. I needed peace and quiet and nothingness.

He had the decency to listen, staying silent and still so I could fall asleep.

Not that it helped all that much in the upcoming days. I may have gained more time by not taking care of Cooper, but now I had an irritated, grumpy husband to deal with.

Upon his return to work, Cooper decided to do case audits on every active client 3D had, as well as high profile cases they had worked over the years, and who had worked them. According to Caleb, Cooper was determining which employees he wanted to help start up the new branch in Tampa. He wouldn’t hire Florida locals until he had enough clients to do so. In the early stages of opening this new branch, he wanted to bring a core team from his Detroit branch he could trust. And if he would be taking some Detroit 3D employees, he needed to find fresh bodies to take their place. Yet another chunk Cooper put on his plate.