Almost Ordinary (The Song Wreckers Book 2) (18 page)

Chapter 23

My first doctor appointment for this baby kept me from sulking over Franny’s plans to leave us for another job. Not knowing how far along I was bugged me. I could still button my pants. Low-rise jeans can be deceptive to weight gain. I assumed Caleb thought I’d gained a little weight. Smart man, I guess, to not mention it.

I tried to prepare for Franny’s leaving. As in, I thought about trying to prepare, then came to the conclusion it was pointless. What should I do, tell her to come over but not do anything to see what it will be like without her? Ugh. I’d deal with it when the time came.

I did make a mental list of the important things I needed to accomplish while I still had childcare: do all the grocery shopping I could, indulge in a manicure and pedicure, check on Cooper to monitor his recovery and kick his ass if he needed it, drive to my mom’s solo and force her to talk to me.

At my first prenatal visit I peed in a cup, the doctor felt all around my mid-section, and declared me thirteen weeks pregnant with a due date in late July. She gave me a brief scolding for waiting so long to come in while writing me a prescription for prenatal vitamins, then tore it up when I told her I already bought a bottle.

After the doctor’s, I sat in the van. First I called Caleb and gave him the play-by-play of my appointment. He couldn’t go with me because Cooper flew to Tampa again, leaving 3D short-handed. Someone had to be in charge and, oddly, Cooper didn’t trust anyone the way he trusted Caleb.

“So that means you got pregnant around . . .” the mental math was almost audible.

“Right around Halloween.” I was already pregnant before I began keeping tabs on Cooper again. The bratty part of me wanted to point that out. The mature part bitch slapped the brat, took the high road, and kept her mouth shut.

I checked the time to make sure Katie was home from work, then called her.

“And?” she answered.

“Thirteen weeks, late July.”

She made quick math. “Beginning of November?”

“Pretty much.”

“I’ll call Mama.”

“Yup, bye.” With almost twenty years of being best-friendship under our belts, we didn’t always bother with full conversations.

A few minutes later, I still sat in my van. Not doing anything. Stalling. I had told myself that when my appointment finished I would call my mom to tell her about the baby and set up a time when I could drive down to see her and talk. I’d made too many excuses this past week about why I couldn’t do it right when I thought about it. So I made a deal with myself—when I found out how far along I was, I would use that as the reason to call her.

But first I should swing by Kohl’s and buy a few pair of maternity pants, or clothes for Alex and Zander. Caleb’s undershirts had seen better days and my tennis shoes needed replaced soon.

My hands twitched the steering wheel toward the Kohl’s parking lot. At the last second I called myself a chicken shit and refused to make the turn, instead driving straight home.

“In Ram’s office,” Franny yelled as I shut the house door behind me. “Trying to organize. Or at least make a dent in the chaos.”

“Don’t bother,” I said, joining her. Dang, she had it looking halfway decent in there. “Never mind. I’m impressed.”

“You don’t think Ram will mind, do you? I couldn’t stand it anymore.”

“If he can find what he needs easier, he’ll bow down and kiss your feet.”

I left Franny working her magic in the place I wouldn’t even attempt to clean up anymore. The boys were due to wake up from their naps any minute. So maybe I should wait to call?

Damn it, no. Be a big girl.

“H-Hi, Mom,” I stuttered when she answered. I hadn’t expected her to answer her home number, figuring I wouldn’t be able to reach her so quickly.

“Hi, Molly. You’ll never guess what I’m doing.”

My heart sank. This conversation headed in the same ‘ole direction. Her, her, her. I didn’t understand how in the last couple of years she started to care more about herself than anyone else. “What’s that?”

“I’m getting ready to go to my first yoga class!”

“Hey, that’s great. I’ve done some yoga. You’ll love it.”

“I hope so. A group of us from work are going together. Sherry swore—”

“Mom, I’m pregnant again,” I interrupted. “I’m due in the summer. I thought I’d come down for a visit without the kids. When’s a good time?” This was the way to do it, bulldoze her so she didn’t have a chance to push me off.

“Oh, um, how about next week you come over for dinner?”

Thanks for a word of congratulations, Mom! “How about tomorrow? My nanny is leaving us soon, and she doesn’t come on the weekends. Tomorrow’s Friday, don’t you get off early on Fridays?” A few years ago, the dental office she works in began closing every Friday at noon to save money.

My mom agreed to have a late lunch with me the following day. That gave me less than twenty-four hours to find and keep my backbone. I seemed to lose mine sometimes.

I clenched and unclenched my hands, breathing deeply, hoping it would ease my nerves as I knocked on Mom’s front door. It didn’t help.

She let me in and glanced at my stomach. I was surprised she remembered I was pregnant.

Her house looked pristine as usual. Pillows and blankets artfully placed on the couch. Magazines in a neat stack in a basket next to a chair. You couldn’t tell she had used the kitchen, except that it smelled wonderful, like seasoned grilled chicken. Last night I threw up my dinner from a mixture of pregnancy and nerves. I felt like I ate breakfast days ago instead of hours ago. I meant to have a quick snack knowing this lunch would be later than normal but I forgot to eat, busy with the boys. Franny worked on finishing up her organization of Caleb’s home office since her arrival—he had come home last night and loved what she’d started, and the boys craved my attention all morning.

Mom served up grilled chicken salad with bread from the oven. I devoured it while she detailed the many things her and Victor have been doing.

“I’m looking for jobs in Arizona,” she said. “Victor and I want to move out there to be closer to his kids. That’s where he’s originally from, and I don’t want to deal with Michigan winters anymore.”

My food felt like a rock and I forced myself to swallow. I set my fork down and wiped my mouth. “I don’t know what to say to that, Mom.”

She shrugged. “Well, there’s not much to say. I had a phone interview the other day, and if they offer me the job I’ll put the house up for sale and head out west.”

“You know what? I do know what to say.” I found my backbone. In fact, I felt everything I ever wanted to say to her fight for importance to come out of my mouth. “It shouldn’t hurt that you’re moving far away because in the last two or three years you’ve pretty much been removing yourself from my life. You have two grandsons that you never ask about and never come to visit. I told you yesterday that you have another grandchild on the way and you haven’t said a word about it.”

She slapped her hands on her hips. “That’s not fair. I think you’re being hormonal.”

I flushed from head to toe in anger. I could feel the heat slink down my body, which only happened in extreme situations for me. She
had
to see the truth in what I said, yet she denied it. “I’ll tell you what’s not fair. My whole life I never felt close to you because of Holly’s death and Dad’s leaving, so I never wanted to push you on it. Figured you’d come around some day. You never did. As an adult it was the same thing. I didn’t want to hurt you by bringing up painful memories so I let it go. I assumed that someday the light bulb would go off over your head and that we’d start to build a better relationship, that I’d be able to come to you with my problems. Guess what? I’m still waiting.”

Short of breath, I stopped to calm myself down.

She pushed her chair back and threw her napkin down onto the table. “How dare you. I gave you everything you ever needed. I spent thousands and thousands of dollars on dance lessons only to have you quit. You never went without.”

I dropped my head in my hands. “I never went without
things.
I went without
you
. Now you’re moving to be near someone’s kids.”

“You’re a grown adult acting like a spoiled brat. I finally realized that this time of my life is for me. Me and no one else. You can’t make me feel guilty for that. And besides, you’ll have your father with you.” She crossed her arms over her chest, chin high.

God, she missed the point of my complaint. I didn’t want her life to be all about me, I wanted for us to be a part of each other’s lives. “You’re not getting it.”

“I finally found happiness and you can’t accept that.”

I threw my hands up. “I’m thrilled you found love and happiness, you deserve it! What I can’t accept is how I am so far down on your list of priorities. I. Am. Your. Daughter.”

“Don’t patronize me. I know very well you’re my daughter. I also know you’re trying to take advantage of me.”

I threw my hands up and let them fall with a
slap
to my thighs. Foot tapping, I asked, “What are you talking about?”

“Victor’s kids did the same to him. They had kids and expected him to become their full-time babysitter. That’s why he moved out here ten years ago. His grandkids are older so he feels it’s safe to go home and wants me to go with him. And we witnessed the way your kids behaved on Christmas Eve. We don’t want that craziness to be our lives.”

My mouth opened and a garbled sound came out. Then it closed. Then opened, then closed. “
What?
You think I’m upset because I couldn’t manipulate you into free childcare? That never even crossed my mind. I have a nanny for crap’s sake! Is it so hard to believe I wanted to be in your life?”

Neither one of us had touched our food again since this gem of a conversation started, so she began cleaning up. “And as for this ‘not being able to come to me with your problems,’ well that’s nonsense.”

“When’s the last time I came to you with a problem?” I set my plate on the counter and stayed there.

She didn’t answer, just busied herself with the dishes in the sink. “College maybe? And believe me, I’ve had a shitload of problems since then. Let’s see, remember my ‘car accident’ a few years ago?” She kept scrubbing. “Some psycho attacked and stabbed me. Those weren’t wounds from the windshield cutting me. And didn’t you ever wonder why you didn’t meet Caleb until after we were married? Yeah, had a rough go of things in the relationship department.”

Her face paled, but she held her ground. “He said you’d do this when I told you we planned to move, try to make me feel guilty so I’d stay.”

That slimy maggot. Until that moment I had felt neutral toward Victor. Now I saw him as an asshole manipulator. Continuing this conversation was pointless. I didn’t need the stress.

I yanked my coat from the chair I’d tossed it on, silently stuffing my arms in before turning to face her. I wanted the last word, like a final “call me when you get a clue.”

But the fight left me. I gave up on my own mother right then and there. I put on my gloves and left without so much as a good-bye.

I didn’t cry on the way home. In fact, calm flushed over me as I drove. At a stop light I put the blue tooth mode on my phone and called Gina to see if she started recording yet. She said they were getting close.

Emotion continued to evade me, even when I told Caleb about the argument with my mom later that night. He hugged me, told me how foolish my mom acted, and tried to lure some reaction from me. I didn’t feel any emotion where my mom was concerned, and that should’ve scared me. It didn’t. We were done with each other unless she decided otherwise.

With an exaggerated sigh, I changed the subject. “When does Cooper come back to Detroit?” I asked Caleb.

I was used to the body tensing or jaw clenching, or both, he did whenever I mentioned Cooper’s name. It phased me less than it used to. “Monday. Why?”

I put my hands on my hips. “I’m going to pay him a visit.”

“Come on, Princess. What the hell for?”

We were in the family room, Alex and Zander asleep for the night. He sat on the couch. “I want to see if I can convince him to let the doctor operate on his leg if he needs it. Plus I want to know if he’s still on the Vicodin. Is he taking care of himself?”

He rubbed a hand down his face. “Who knows.”

I sat on his lap. “Exactly. It looks like he’s going to open the second branch of 3D. He needs to be a functional human being firing on all four cylinders, otherwise you’re going to be the one running two locations. I can’t have that.” I laid my head on his chest. When his hand stroked up and down my spine I knew he wouldn’t fight me on this. I think a part of him appreciated me thinking ahead and looking out for him this way. I hoped anyways.

We snuggled together while he flipped through channels. He settled on a documentary about space or aliens or something.

Both our bodies jolted awake when the phone rang at ten o’clock. I turned my head and saw Katie’s cell number on caller I.D.

I squeezed Caleb’s hand as he trudged upstairs. “Be up in a bit.” He nodded as I put the phone up to my ear to take Katie’s call.

An hour later I climbed into bed in a much lighter mood than I had any business being in. My mom and I were broken, I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with Cooper and the fight that it could bring on with Caleb, Franny was leaving, and I didn’t know how to accomplish everything without her. All these things should have me in knots.

But I had a good talk with a great friend. Caleb and I enjoyed raising two great kids with another baby on the way. I counted my blessings instead of commiserating over the hurdles I had yet to jump over.

I was, like, so grown up.

The following Monday afternoon, I put the boys down for a nap, left them in Franny’s care, and drove my grown up ass into 3D. The receptionist stopped me two steps in, not remembering me from my one visit more than two years ago. Reminding her I was Ram’s wife, she waved me on past.