Almost Home (40 page)
Chapter
21
Z
ach entered his
house, feeling stunned. He felt like a fool for ever having thought the
their prize possession to him. He wasn't of their blood. Hadn't he learned by
now that blood was everything? You couldn't escape the people you were tied to,
no matter how hard you tried. Well, there was only one thing to do. Leave.
Zach walked into the bedroom and pulled a canvas
duffel bag out of his closet and began to toss his clothes inside. He wasn't
going to abandon ship totally, not until the
was too professional to leave them in the lurch after everything they'd done
for him. But he didn't have to live on their land, in their house, as if he
were family.
No, he'd go into
hell. There was no point in distancing himself from his father anymore. No
point at all.
The pounding on his front door brought his head
around, but he made no move to answer it. He knew who it was, and he didn't
care. Katherine had lied to him. She'd slept with him knowing who she was,
knowing that she was a
with a simple yes.
"Open up, Zach," she yelled. "I know
you're in there."
Zach ignored her, intent on stuffing everything he
could into his bag. He grabbed a shirt up off the bed where he'd tossed it, and
the lavender scent hit him in the face, in the heart. His shirt smelled like
Katherine. His bed smelled like Katherine. He couldn't get away from her. She
was everywhere he breathed. Damn her.
The pounding stopped, and he sighed with relief. Good,
she was gone. The next thing he heard was his lamp falling over on the floor.
He rushed into the living room to see Katherine climbing through the window.
Her blond hair fell about her face as she got herself stuck in the narrow
frame, half in, half out.
She looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Help me
out here, Zach."
"Why should I?"
Katherine squirmed relentlessly against the window
frame, determination etched in her eyes.
"You should have made up a list before climbing
through my window," he said, refusing to weaken. "Or maybe you made a
list last night. Let's see. How would it go? Pros for sleeping with Zach.
Number one, great sex. Number two, you can play boss and I can play farmhand."
"Stop it. That's not the way it was, and you know
it," she snapped as one last wiggle got her jeans-clad butt through the
window.
He stuck his hands into his pocket, refusing to catch
her. In fact, he quite enjoyed seeing her fall flat on her face.
Katherine got to her feet, her hair tangled about her
face, fire in her beautiful blue eyes, and he almost weakened. Almost. Then he
remembered everything he was about to lose.
"You have to listen to me," Katherine said.
"Oh,
now
you
feel like talking," he scoffed. "How convenient. I guess there just
wasn't time last night or this morning."
"I didn't know how to tell you," she said
softly, putting out a hand in entreaty. "I just found out yesterday.
Remember when I came to your door and you said I looked shocked? I
was
shocked.
Claire Stanton came to me yesterday afternoon. In fact, I think your father
sent her there."
Zach felt his body tighten. He should have known
this. The old man had been angry with his interference, so he'd played the game
another way, paying off Zach at the same time he'd set up Katherine and Claire.
"Claire saw my hope chest, my quilt,"
Katherine continued. "She said it was Margaret's. I didn't believe her,
but then she showed me a photograph of Margaret, and it was my mother, Zach. Do
you know how I felt? Realizing that my mother had a life she'd never told me
about?"
Zach didn't want to think about how Katherine had
felt. He didn't want to feel anything for her. "You always knew she had
another life. Too bad it wasn't what you expected."
"I can't help being a
"I've got packing to do." He returned to the
bedroom, hoping she'd just go. Of course, she didn't. Instead she leaned
against the doorjamb and watched him throw clothes into his bag. "Where
are you going?"
"To the track."
"And after that?"
"Don't know."
"You can't leave. This is your home. Your life."
"It's yours now."
"I don't want it."
He looked at her and saw the way she dropped her gaze
from him. "You want it. It's what you came looking for, a home, a family,
roots." He shrugged. "Take 'em, Katherine. They're yours."
"I don't want you to go." She walked over to
him. "I love you, Zach." She cupped his chin with her hand so he
couldn't look away from her. "I know you heard me say it this morning. It's
the truth."
His heart twisted into a knot, and he had to fight
hard to stop himself from telling her he loved her back. "Love is easy to
find in the middle of an orgasm."
"That's not fair, nor is it true."
"Well, life isn't fair, in case you haven't
noticed. I've spent eighteen years breaking my back to make this farm a
success, and along comes a long-lost granddaughter, and I'm out and you're in.
You want to talk about fair?"
"I'll leave. I'll go back to
now." She turned to go and he caught her by the arm.
"Don't bother, Katherine. Harry will leave you the
farm whether you want it or not, whether you're here in
have to take it over, because you're a
because it's your duty."
"I'll tell him not to leave it to me. I'll
convince him. You'll see."
"The same way Margaret convinced him to let her
stay and have her baby in
Katherine stared back at him. "There has to be a
way to make this right."
"There is a way. You stay and I'll leave."
"We could both stay," she said tentatively. "Claire
wants to get to know me. And you're right, I do want a chance to know my
grandparents, at least a little better than I know them now. But that desire
doesn't have anything to do with my taking over this farm."
He gave her a little shake. "It has everything to
do with the farm. What do you think a stud farm is all about, Kat? It's about
bloodlines. That's our business. That's who we are. That's who Harry is. I was
dreaming to think he'd ever leave this place to me. And he shouldn't, because
it's yours. You're the
I'm just the son of a thief."
"You're a lot more than that." She stared
into his eyes. "I'm not about money. You know that, Zach. I came looking
for a family, not an inheritance."
"Well, it looks like you're lucky enough to get
both."
"And it looks like you're using this as a reason
to walk away from me, but I don't understand why."
Zach let go of her and picked up his bag. "I told
you before, I don't have anything to offer you. I have even less now."
"Don't say that." Tears filled her beautiful
blue eyes. "Don't leave, Zach. I'm begging you."
His resolve started to melt at the look of love in her
eyes. "Don't you have any pride, Kat?"
"Apparently the
she said softly. "I didn't come here to ruin your life."
He let out a sigh of defeat. "I know you didn't.
But it doesn't matter anymore."
"Then why are you so angry with me?"
Because his anger was the only thing keeping him from
sweeping her into his arms and laying her back down on the bed they'd made love
in all night long.
"You should have told me last night."
"You're right, but I didn't know the
pull the farm away from you. I didn't think my being Margaret's daughter would
mean that. I'm sorry."
"Katherine, I need to figure out what I'm going
to do next. I have to get Rogue to the
and then there's the
And after that, I don't know. I want my own place, Kat. I want to run my own
farm. And if it can't be here, then I have to find somewhere else. But one
thing is certain, I can't stop and rearrange the rest of my life right now."
She stared at him for a long minute. "I'm not
giving up on you. You told me not to quit when I wanted something. Well, I want
you. Plain and simple." She paused. "I'm not going to end up like my
mother. I'm not going to run away because things are hard. I'm not going to
spend the rest of my life working at a job I hate, with people I don't love,
wondering what might have been. You taught me to fight, Zach. And now I'm
fighting for you."
"I'm not worth it."
"I've learned so much from you this past week.
Haven't you learned anything from me? Don't you know how wonderful you really
are?" She put her hands on his shoulders and made him look at her. "Stop
checking your reflection in the eyes of the people who don't like you. Look at
my eyes. And tell me what you see."
He stared at her for a long moment, then turned away. "You
have a bad habit of wanting to believe the best of people."
"And you always want to believe the worst.
Together we might be able to make sense. Think about it."
Katherine turned on her heel and walked out of the
room. Zach sank down on the bed with a sigh. Katherine had so much faith. And
he had so little. She wanted to believe life could be good, and he knew
firsthand just how bad it could get. Sometimes he hated her for making him feel
hopeful. Because he'd been hopeful before, on the eve of his wedding, when
Harry had told him he might inherit the farm
…
and it
never worked out. Never. He had to remember that. He had to leave.
* * *
Katherine felt like
she'd been kicked in the stomach. Loving Zach had
certainly turned out to be a painful experience. As she drove back into town,
as she put distance between herself and Stanton Farms, she felt even more torn.
She could give up the farm for Zach. But Zach didn't want her. So what should
she do? Turn away from the first blood relatives she'd ever known? Throw away
the opportunity to learn about her mother, to be a part of the land, the
community that had watched Margaret grow up?
But how could she stay? How could she take Zach's
place? She didn't know anything about horses or running a farm, and she wasn't
sure she wanted to learn. It wasn't the horses that had drawn her to the farm,
it was the people and the gardens and Zach.
She could stay and tell Harry to give the farm to Zach
anyway. Surely she could convince him that was the logical solution. But a tiny
doubt came to her mind. What if she couldn't make Harry do it? What if it was
all or nothing? Could she choose to walk away again? And to go where? She
couldn't return to
that Zach's whole life hadn't changed.
By the time she reached the main streets of
craving for a very large bottle of bourbon. And she wasn't going to bother
listing all the reasons why she shouldn't get drunk in the middle of the day.
Because she was done with lists, done with planning, done with agonizing over
making the right decision. She couldn't seem to make one to save her life.