Almost Forever (15 page)

They sat on the front porch and relaxed. Clouds scuttled across the moon, making it seem even darker than usual. The cacophony of crickets and frogs was almost deafening.

“It's going to rain,” Justin stated. “Grammy always said the frogs were louder just before a storm.”

Lori sniffed the air. “You can smell it. What's more appropriate than rain at a funeral?”

“Are they going to deliver the urn tomorrow?”

“They promised to be here around noon,” she replied.

It had taken them almost two hours to get everything set up in the restaurant. Raúl brought in cases of wine and Raquel set up all the tables while Lori and Justin made sure there was plenty of beer in the cooler and all the prep work was done for the Italian buffet tomorrow. Mackenzie arrived in time to help with the tablecloths and put the flower arrangements out.

Then they returned to the house, where Justin had cooked the steaks.

“Dinner was delicious. I had no idea you were so talented in the kitchen.” Lori propped her bare feet up on a stool as she sipped on a glass of wine.

“Don't get too excited. When I saw you had a barbecue grill in the backyard, I thought I'd show you my one cooking skill. Other than that, it's mostly cereal or eggs. I haven't had so many real meals since I left home.”

“It's nice having you here. I haven't had anyone to talk to since…well, forever. I can't remember Mark and I ever sitting out on this porch.”

“If Mark was to drive up, get out, and look around at the vineyard, what do you think he would say about what you've done with the place?”

Lori's head snapped around. “Why would you ask me that?”

Justin was surprised by her overreaction. “I just meant that based on what I've seen and what I've heard from you and everyone, you've really improved this place. I would be so proud of you if I walked back in on this.” He smiled.

“Well, you're no Mark, then, because he would hate the expansion…unless it helped him get a better price.”

“No, I'm not Mark. And I think you're amazing.”

Lori's eyes filled with tears.

Justin glanced inside, where Mackenzie was busy putting together a new jigsaw puzzle of a herd of wild mustangs. He wished he could take Lori in his arms and hold her like they had done last night. But that just made him have another uncomfortable night of tossing and turning and cold showers.

“Raúl told me that they finished with the crushing, and the grapes are in the fermentation stage.” Justin was sorry he had brought up Mark's name and tried to change the subject to get her mind off her lousy husband.

“Fermentation,” she repeated with a smile. “It's one of my favorite parts. There's so much promise and even mystery in the vats.”

“Sounds like watching grass grow,” Justin teased.

“This is where you make or break your entire year's work. After the crushing, the juice can begin fermenting naturally within six to twelve hours, depending on the wild yeasts in the air. At first I added commercial yeast because the end result was more predictable.”

“So you're a hundred percent commercial yeast free now?”

She sighed. “I wish. But I add as little as necessary. Anyway…over the next ten to fourteen days, the sugar converts to alcohol. If I want a sweet wine, I stop the process earlier, and for a dry wine like a chardonnay, I let it go the full time. Then we rack it until the juice is clear. After that, we let it age in barrels from sixteen to twenty-two months before we bottle it.”

“Sounds like quite a process.”

“It's very scientific, but creative and sort of magical. There are so many factors that even if you use the same formula, every year tastes different.”

“And Raúl is a big help?”

“He taught me a lot, and I learned the rest when I got my enology degree. Mark wasn't around enough and didn't have enough interest in the process to teach me anything. I think all he knew was how to drink it.”

He could see her fists clench, then she forced herself to relax. “I guess I've got to put my game face on tomorrow. I have no idea who's going to show up.”

“I'm hoping one of them is our killer. And I'm going to be checking the parking lot for black Dodge pickups.”

“Good idea.” Lori was silent for a moment, but it was clear she was nervous. “I don't know what I'm going to say.”

“Just act like a widow whose husband has been missing for eight years. No one can expect you to be grief-stricken, especially since everyone there will have known Mark well.” Justin tried to calm her nerves by adding, “And if all else fails, pretend they're naked.”

That brought a humorless chuckle. “It's not like it'll be the first time they've been naked in front of Mark.” She stood and picked up her empty glass. “I'd better get Kenzie to bed. And I guess I should put together some sort of speech…for her sake.”

Lori changed clothes a dozen times before deciding on a plain midnight blue, sleeveless shift dress and black pumps. She pulled her hair back into a low ponytail and clipped it with a gold filigree clasp. The big decision was wedding ring or no wedding ring. She had taken it off the day after she found out he was dead, and as she stared at it in her jewelry box, she realized she never wanted to wear it again. Not even today.

Mackenzie had picked her own outfit, which was her favorite denim jumper with a red blouse. Lori tamed her daughter's long, straight hair into a French braid. At eleven thirty they walked down the stairs together.

Justin was leaning against the counter, drinking a cup of coffee while he waited for them. Lori's gaze swept over his tall, muscular body with approval. He was dressed in Texas formal, which was a pair of jeans, cowboy boots, and a crisp white dress shirt with the tails out, the sleeves rolled up, and the first two buttons opened to reveal a glimpse of his sexy chest. No tie, no hat, and no badge. However, she suspected his gun was in the back of his waistband, hidden beneath the loose shirt. Even though he was officially on vacation, she knew he was never without his gun.

“Ready?” he asked.

“No.” She took a deep, shaky breath and exhaled slowly. “Let's get this started.” She wanted to add that the sooner it got started, the sooner it would be over, but that might sound insensitive to Mackenzie. The little girl had never known Mark, but he was the only father she'd ever had. Lori planned on sitting down in a few days and talking about the memorial and how it made Mackenzie feel.

As the frogs had predicted, it was raining, so Lori took two umbrellas out of the coat closet and handed one to Mackenzie. “We're going to have to share,” she told Justin, who didn't seem to mind at all. He took it from her and sheltered her from the downpour as they all ran along the cobblestone pathway to the main building.

“I'm glad we decided to rent a tent,” Lori said as they stopped just inside the back door of the restaurant. It provided shelter beyond the roof that extended over the patio and allowed an overflow area should the crowd be large. The four members of the band were setting up their instruments in the front corner of the restaurant and testing the power to all the amplifiers. They wouldn't be playing until the wake began, but they had to set up before the memorial.

Sherry, the regular bartender, dressed in a short black skirt, white silk blouse, and red vest, was busy prepping the bar. Lori had hired a bar-back to do the heavy lifting so Sherry could focus on the guests.

Lori stopped to reinforce the plans. “What are we serving?”

“Pretty simple. No mixed, light beer in bottles, and only Shiner Bock on tap…and three wines,” Sherry answered with a confident smile.

“Let me guess…a white, a red, and a white zin,” Justin, who had already met Sherry during his earlier visits, offered.

“Close,” Lori answered. “White, red, and port. The port is from Mark's personal collection and is from the year before he died.”

“Nice touch,” Justin murmured.

“It wasn't a very good year,” Lori whispered back.

Raquel and Chef Bradley were setting up the buffet of salad, lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken Alfredo, and several different pastries for dessert.

A man in a black suit walked through the entrance from the wine-tasting room. He was carrying a black leather box. “Mrs. Roberts?”

Lori shivered, knowing that inside that box was all that remained of a man she had grown to despise. “Yes,” she said and stepped forward.

“Where would you like me to put Mr. Roberts?” the man asked.

“On the table beside the podium.” She had draped a black tablecloth on it, and there was a large arrangement of yellow roses behind it. She had chosen them because they were her favorite. Mark had never cared for flowers, but it was appropriate. And the only thing that was going to get her through the day was doing what was appropriate.

She glanced over at Justin, who was helping Mackenzie set out the water pitchers. Those were the only two people who mattered, and she was glad she was not having to do this alone.

People started arriving at noon, shaking off the raindrops and chattering about how much they needed the water. Lori mingled, smiling when she should and looking sad when the conversation was about Mark. Mostly it was a blur. Occasionally Justin would catch her eye and give her a little nod of encouragement. He had no idea how much those simple contacts helped her.

She carried the same glass of chardonnay as she circulated, never drinking it. But she needed something in her hand. People touched her shoulder or forearm gently and women hugged her like a longtime friend. Most she recognized. And some she knew by their perfume because she had smelled it on Mark's clothes when he had come home late after a “meeting.” Funny how some memories stuck.

Finally, after the room was almost full, she went to the podium and announced, “If everyone will find a place to sit, we'd like to start the luncheon service. Please start at the left end and make a line on both sides of the tables.”

The crowd migrated like a herd of elk toward a grassy meadow, and the conversation was punctuated by the clatter of plates and scrape of metal spoons against the large serving pans.

Lori's stomach was tied in knots, but she got a plate and put a couple things on it so people wouldn't worry about her. Of course, she just pushed them around. The thought of food was nauseating, and the last thing she wanted to do was to have to run to the restroom and throw up. She sat next to Mackenzie and wished Justin were sitting with them. But she understood why he was at a table across the room, mingling as planned.

When everyone had finished with their meal and gone back to the table for dessert, she stood and made her way to the front of the room. As she took her place behind the podium, the crowd hushed and looked at her expectantly.

She cleared her throat and took a drink of water from the glass she'd brought with her. After an hour of agonizing over what she should say, she had decided it would be more heartfelt if it was spontaneous. She looked out and, like she'd learned in high school speech class, focused on Mackenzie's face in the crowd and began. “Thank y'all for coming today. I'm sure Mark would be so pleased to know that he had such loyal friends. Since you knew him well, I'm going to let you come up here and tell your favorite story about Mark. I was in his life for only four years before his…death, but he gave me the greatest gift I've ever received, our daughter, Mackenzie. For that I will be eternally grateful.” Lori smiled at her daughter before continuing. “And now I invite anyone who wants to come up and say a few words.”

She returned to her seat and tried to feign interest in the stories of Mark's buddies. It was even more difficult when women she had always suspected he'd been screwing tried to talk about Mark's friendliness and generosity without actually admitting anything. Even Terri had come and said mostly nice things about her ex-fiancé. Of course, she had to throw in a dig about his skipping out on their wedding. Jerry Winston found a couple pleasant memories to share as well. After the last speaker, Lori returned to the podium.

“As you all know, Mark was very proud of his Scottish heritage. Please join me in singing the great Scottish poet Robert Burns's song about friendship and times gone by.” She held up her glass of wine and waited for everyone to lift theirs, then she led the guests in a somber version of “Auld Lang Syne.” After the toast, she managed a smile and lifted her glass again. “And in another Scottish tradition, let the wake begin!”

The band picked up on the cue and started the first song.

As the guests headed to the bar, Lori took Mackenzie into one of the tasting rooms. “How are you?”

“I'm fine, Mommy. I know I should be sad…and I am…but I don't even remember what he looked like.”

“Sweetie, he loved you,” Lori said, forcing out the lie. “And I love you. If you ever want to talk about him…or anything, really, just come to me. Okay?”

“Okay.” Mackenzie hopped to her feet and gave Lori a big hug. “I love you too. Can I go now?”

Lori looked up and saw Ali's mom standing in the doorway. “Sure. I'll pick you up around noon tomorrow on the way to Justin's grandmother's farm.”

Mackenzie jumped up and down. “I can't wait. Don't forget to bring my boots.”

Lori gave her daughter one last hug and a kiss on her head. “Run along. And have fun.”

With a cheerful wave, Mackenzie galloped out the door and joined Ali's mom as they headed out the front of the building.

The resiliency of youth
, Lori thought enviously. She wished she could escape out the front door. But with a roomful of increasingly drunk guests, she knew she had to stay. With a total lack of enthusiasm, she returned to the restaurant.

The tables had all been pushed back to create enough space for a small dance floor. Terri had brought a date—her latest catch, no doubt—and they were dancing way too close while another couple did a graceful two-step. Justin noticed that the bartender was overloaded, so he stepped behind the bar.