Almost a Princess (18 page)

“Go back to your attorney and tell him . . .” her throat was thick and she was forced to swallow, “and tell him that I mean to fight it. I won’t give in. And nothing on God’s earth could induce me to go back to Jack Campbell, not even to save you twenty thousand pounds.”

An awful suspicion was beginning to take root in his mind, but it was so ugly, he didn’t want to believe it. “Jane,” he said softly, “why did you leave Campbell?”

A fierce trembling shook her whole body and she had trouble articulating the words. “You’re so clever, you work it out.”

He knew what Campbell had told him, that it was largely his own fault that Jane had left him. He hadn’t made allowances for her youth and upbringing. She’d been a straitlaced girl, and he’d been too much the other way, overindulging in gaming, drinking, and, he’d admitted sheepishly, wenching. But he still loved her and wanted her back. More to the point, his father, the baronet, was pushing for a reconciliation so that the title and fortune could pass to the next generation.

He hadn’t been thinking straight. He’d been so numbed to discover that she’d deliberately misled him, that he’d sat there like a block of ice. Even his mind was frozen, but it had thawed soon enough when Campbell had pointed out that if Jane didn’t return to him, he’d be forced to divorce her so that he could marry again and produce the heir his father so badly wanted. That was when he’d raised the subject of punitive damages.

Now that he
was
thinking straight, he was seeing things in a different light. He was remembering how difficult it had been to track her down, first at the Ladies’ Library, then at Highgate. Only a few close friends knew where she lived. She rarely went out in society unless it was to the opera. Her life revolved around the Library and few men ever entered its holy portals. He was one of them, but she’d given him short shrift until she had felt she could trust him. But she hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him about Campbell. Something else occurred to him. She trusted her dog and her pistol, and that was all.

“Jane,” he said again, “why did you leave Campbell? I have to know.”

She couldn’t tell him; she couldn’t tell anyone. She didn’t want to be seen as a pathetic, beaten-down creature who’d been scared of her own shadow. She’d taken back her own name, she’d taken back her life, and she’d made something of herself. That was how she wanted people to see her. Especially Case . . . especially Case.

All the pent emotions she’d kept at bay for so long suddenly overwhelmed her. It all seemed so hopeless. All the lies she’d told, the evasions, never being able to trust anyone. In the end, none of it had worked. Jack had still found her. As his wife, she was still his chattel. That was the law. She’d never be free of him.

Great, convulsive sobs shook her whole body, and she clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. When he took a step toward her, she backed away, shaking her head violently. He put out a hand in a placating gesture but she recoiled from that too. If she could have found her voice, she would have told him to go away. She just wanted to be left alone.

He’d seen wild things with the same desperate look in their eyes before the hunters moved in for the kill. He ached to see her like this, and he damned himself for being so blind. She was panic-stricken at the thought of returning to Campbell, Jane, who wasn’t afraid of anything, who’d stood up to Lord Reeve as well as any man; who’d taken on Gideon Piers and won, then crawled into a burning barn to save her dog. What kind of man had the power to put that look in her eyes?

She wouldn’t want pity or an easy sympathy. She wouldn’t want him to know how vulnerable she really was. Not Jane.

But now he knew that her life with Campbell must have been intolerable. She was terrified of him. Now he understood why she worked at the Ladies’ Library and was so passionate about promoting the rights of women.

His outrage and hurt pride seemed like pinpricks in the face of her anguish. Everything that had seemed difficult was now so simple.

He paid no attention to what he could read in her eyes but gathered her in his arms, not crushing her, but not giving her a chance to push him away either. She squirmed, she tried to push him away, but his arms only tightened and eventually the sobs died away and she sagged against him.

When she began to sniff, he found his handkerchief and offered it to her. She wouldn’t look at him, but that didn’t surprise him. He’d said some unforgivable things to her tonight. They’d get to that later.

She took the handkerchief from him and blew her nose.

He said quietly and as contritely as he could manage, “You don’t have to tell me anything about your life with Campbell if you don’t want to. It’s over now. He’ll never hurt you again.”

She looked up quickly and read in his eyes his complete knowledge of the terrible secret she’d tried to keep from him. Fresh tears welled up. Her sobs had taken a toll on her voice and her words were hoarse. “He is a cruel, brutal man and that’s all I’m going to say about him.”

He drew her closer, his hands running ceaselessly up and down her spine, comforting her, gentling her of the tension that gripped her. “You foolish girl,” he said. “Do you think I would judge you for his sins? Someday, when you feel ready, we’ll talk about it, but only then. What’s in the past is over and done with. But I promise you, he’ll never hurt you again.”

“You say that because you don’t know him. He doesn’t love me, whatever he says. He’s obsessed with me. He wants me in his power. He’d rather see me dead than go to anyone else.”

He said quietly, “Circumstances change. People change. No, I’m not saying that he’s a better man, but I don’t think he’s stupid. When he sees he can’t have you, he’ll have no choice but to accept it.”

“He’ll make good on his threats.”

“So will I.”

She frowned. “What threats? What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that if you go back to Campbell, I’ll come after you. I mean it, Jane. And if you run away and go into hiding again, I’ll find you and chain you to my side. So he’d better make good on his threats or we’ll be living in sin for the rest of our lives.”

“I’m talking about divorce,” she cried. “I’m talking about twenty thousand pounds.”

“So am I. No, listen to me. When I came here tonight, I didn’t know, I didn’t understand. I thought you’d deliberately led me on, knowing that I could never have you. I was crazy with jealousy, and my pride, of course, was cut to shreds. There’s no excuse for me, but there’s every excuse for you. You would do anything to keep your whereabouts hidden from Campbell. I understand that now.”

There was a heartbeat of silence, then she shook her head. “I wish there was another way. What will your father say, and Lady Sophy? Your name will be dragged through the mud.”

He smiled at this. “I hate to shatter your illusions, but my family’s history is littered with rogues and scoundrels. Of course, we don’t mention them in polite society, but without them, the Deveres would be a very dull lot.”

His attempt at humor failed to win a smile from her. “Twenty thousand pounds is a great deal of money,” she said.

“I don’t know why you’re shaking your head. He’s not giving us a choice, is he? Either you go back to him or the divorce goes forward. I’ll pay the twenty thousand pounds and think it cheap at the price. Then you’ll be free of him for the rest of your life.”

She said in an anguished whisper, “Case, I can’t go back to him.”

His arms locked around her and he said something soothing in reply, but behind the soothing words, a white-hot rage was building inside him. He was thinking that if only he’d known then what he knew now, he would have beaten Campbell to within an inch of his life.

After a while, he held her at arm’s length and looked steadily into her face. “Jane,” he said quietly, “I’m taking a lot for granted. What I mean is, you will marry me, won’t you, when Campbell divorces you?”

“It’s what I want more than anything,” she said.

His smile was oddly grave. “Only one more question. Did you mean what you said earlier, that you’ve fallen in love with me?”

“I didn’t want to. I tried not to—”

He gave her a little shake. “Did you mean it?” “Yes,” she whispered.

“That’s all I need to know.”

He walked to the door, locked it, and on the way back to her, dispensed with his jacket and neckcloth. Her eyes were wide and very dark as she looked up at him, and a fine trembling that had nothing to do with fear had taken hold. She could see where this was leading, and he had taken her completely unawares.

“Case, is this . . . wise?”

He smiled into her eyes. “Very wise. I’m doing the opposite of what Robert advised me to do. Campbell wants a divorce. We’re going to make it easy for him. He’ll have more witnesses than he’ll know what to do with.”

When she was silent, he went on seriously. “He’ll need evidence, Jane, and that’s what we’re going to give him, beginning tonight. When I don’t appear at the stables, eventually Ruggles will come looking for me. He’ll be able to swear under oath that we were alone together, in your bedchamber, for some time. If there was another way, I would take it, but short of killing Campbell, I don’t know how else to protect you.”

“You’re not thinking of a duel?” she said quickly.

Smiling, he replied, “No. He might kill me, and then where would we be? This is the only way.”

He gave her a moment to push him away, to protest, to say it wasn’t what she wanted, but when she leaned into him with a soft sigh, he began to breathe again. He tipped up her chin and pressed whisper-soft kisses on her brows, her cheeks, her lips.

She could feel her heart beating all the way into her throat, but it wasn’t only his kisses that moved her. She was thinking of all the beautiful, experienced women he had taken to his bed; she was remembering her own ineptness, and how she’d always turned to ice whenever Jack walked into her bedchamber.

She put a hand to his chest and drew back so that she could see his face. She spoke simply and with a certain dignity. “Don’t expect too much of me, just because I’ve been married. It wasn’t . . . it wasn’t a pleasant experience for me.”

He quelled the anger that began to gnaw at him again. This wasn’t the time for anger. This was the time for patience, infinite patience, and all the skill and finesse of which he was capable.

“Jane, are you afraid?”

“Of you? Never!”

“No, of this.”

He unbelted her robe and slipped it from her shoulders. He was careful to keep his hands on neutral ground, the slope of her throat, her arms, her back. When he drew away to gauge her expression, she smiled into his eyes.

Looping her arms around his neck, she said, “Case, you’re not afraid of
me,
are you?”

“I’m afraid of . . . I don’t want to—” He never stuttered. So much for skill and finesse. “I’m petrified,” he said.

She arched a skeptical brow.

“It’s true, Jane.” He couldn’t resist kissing the dimple that flashed to life at the corner of her mouth. “This is a first time for me. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. I feel like a boy again.”

A lump formed in her throat. He was a magnificent specimen of masculinity with a body honed to hardness by years of war. It seemed incredible that she wasn’t afraid of him. In truth, she felt just the opposite. She’d never been more aware of her own feminine power. With Jack . . .

“What is it, Jane?”

She immediately distanced herself from thoughts of her husband and said archly, “Is this the man who has been making me silent promises with his bold eyes these last weeks? Not to mention his bold touches and stolen kisses? Well, here I am. Now it’s time to make good on your promises.”

He took her at her word. She gave a little yelp when he suddenly scooped her up in his arms and deposited her on the bed. They were both laughing when he came down beside her. Catlike, they stretched, rubbing against each other, fingers linked, arms above their heads.

Gradually his expression grew serious. He bent his head and began to kiss her, deeply and slowly. There was no driving need to devour or possess, not yet. He simply wanted to savor the gift she was offering, the gift of herself.

He couldn’t have known how much his gentleness moved her.
So this is what it feels like to be cherished,
she thought, and a deep well of joy flooded through her. He made her feel loved. She wasn’t shy or afraid. What she lacked was experience. She knew what it was to be the object of a man’s passion. But this was different. He was her first lover.

Her hands skimmed over his arms and shoulders, and beneath her fingertips, his muscles tensed and rippled. When he did the same to her, all her muscles went lax. It was so easy, so pleasant, she wondered why she had ever been afraid of him and afraid of this.

As she gave herself up to pleasure, he kept his own needs rigidly under control. He wanted to erase from her mind all the unpleasantness and humiliation she’d endured when she was married to Campbell. More than anything, he wanted her to know that the fault was not in her. She was more beautiful, more desirable than any man could hope for.

There was no fire or urgency in his caresses or kisses. He wanted to tempt and tantalize. And he succeeded. Her blood heated. She grew restless. Her body craved his touch, and he was generous with his touches. But it wasn’t enough. She wanted more. When he slipped her nightgown over her head and tossed it aside, she didn’t protest. The ways of love had always been a mystery to her. Now, with this one man, this one careful lover, she was ready to absorb whatever he could teach her.

That was what she told herself, but when he invited her to undress him, her confidence wavered. This was something new. Jack had never wanted anything from her but a quick release. He had always taken her in the dark, swiftly and without care. She had no idea how to pleasure a man.

Case sensed what was going through her mind and he didn’t give her time to think. Murmuring soothingly, he placed her fingers on the top button of his shirt and helped her undress him.

“It gets easier with practice,” he told her.

“As you should know.”