Alliance Forged (22 page)

“Kymora…” His voice was deep, gravelly, and hesitant. “I need to talk to you.” Pebbles clicked against one another, like a boot was being scuffed against them. “But not here. Can we walk along the shore?”

She arched an eyebrow. “What more could you have to say to me than what you’ve already said, Varian?” She made a deliberate effort to moderate her tone, but it was still clipped, controlled, and infused with just enough heat to warn him how close she was to giving in to her temper.

“Kymora, I came to apologize.” Low pitched, his voice resonated with emotion. “I’m sorry I treated you the way I did….”

Her breath froze in her chest. He was apologizing to her? Here? Intense curiosity burred against the edge of her mind and broke through her shock. They were attracting attention from those nearby.

Surprised by the strength of the intrusion, especially considering she’d closed herself off from reading auras, Kymora cocked her head toward Ehrinne. This wasn’t a conversation that needed to be overheard. “Which direction is the inlet?”

“Turn directly left,
Temple Elect
.”

“Let me know when we’ve cleared the crowds.”

“Yes,
Temple Elect
.”

It would’ve been easier to let Varian guide and inform her, but her mood was less than conciliatory. Varian remained silent as they walked farther away from the festival, but he was so close to her she could feel the heat of his body, feel the heavy presence of his aura brushing hers.

But the farther away from the noisy crowd they went, the more she began to question the wisdom of her decision. Dealing with him now wouldn’t be peaceful or easy, her emotions were nowhere near steady enough, and that was something she’d always prided herself on when dealing with others. This time her usual caution and control seemed nonexistent.

“We’re two minutes’ walk from the last group of people,
Temple Elect
.”

“Thank you, Ehrinne.” Kymora slowed her pace. “Would you both mind giving us some privacy?”

“We’ll drop back to a distance of thirty paces, no more.”

She waited until the sound of footsteps receded. And even then she delayed a few more seconds, not liking the cold uncertainty curling in her stomach. Being unable to use her skill to read Varian’s aura left her feeling helpless. Was this confrontation a part of her Journey? What if neither of them were ready for it?

Blessed Mother
, how was she to know if this was the right pathway? She inhaled an uneven breath.

“Why didn’t you just say no to my invitation, Varian?” Her voice shook as she kept a leash on her temper. “The
Lady
knows I tend to get pushy, but I’d have accepted your decision if you’d just come out and told me.”

The pain in Kymora’s voice slashed at Varian like a dull-edged blade. His hands fisted at his sides as she struggled with her emotions. Anger, disappointment, doubt, sadness, they all flickered across her face, some lingering longer than others.

“Kymora, I’m sorry.” His stomach knotted so badly it felt like a whole coil of rope tangled in there. He ran a hand through his hair. “I overreacted.”

“I didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

He winced at the contained fury in her voice but took the criticism rather than defend himself. “I know.”

“I understand you find it hard to trust others, Varian.” Her fingers flexed around her staff. “Surely you’ve known me long enough to realize I won’t take advantage of you?” She widened her stance, almost as if bracing herself. “If you truly think I’d do that, then our friendship ends here.”

Varian stilled. Her announcement should have brought relief.
This was the excuse he’d been waiting for, the ultimatum that would give him a reason to cut free of any entanglements with her.

And yet, the hollow ache inside him seemed to get only worse. His gaze lifted to her face. She stared over his shoulder, the sunlight turning the green depths of her eyes hazel. A frown marred her brow; her hair tumbled over her shoulders like a black waterfall. Needle-leaves lay tangled in some of the strands. There was such strength in the lines and angles of her face.

She faced him with an elegant dignity. He’d never imagined anyone like her would ever call him a friend. She talked and listened to him. She made him feel warm in places he’d thought permanently frozen. She made him feel more than what he was.

Deep down he hungered for more of Kymora’s brand of friendship. She was like a piece of sweet-nut, addictive and hard to relinquish once tasted. He liked being treated as somebody of worth.

Another swift glance at her face and he knew her statement was no idle declaration. For someone as generous and giving as Kymora, even she’d reached her limit with him. And considering his behavior of late, he didn’t blame her. But the thought of giving up everything they’d shared ate at his soul like acid.

“I was afraid.” Even to his own ears he sounded gruff, surly, but Kymora didn’t reprimand or criticize him. He dragged in an unsteady breath. “Yes, you pushed and I used that as an excuse to hurt you so I wouldn’t have to face my fear.”

He cringed on hearing himself admit that aloud. The skin across his shoulder blades prickled and crawled.

“Varian, I know you don’t like mixing in large crowds. That’s why Annika and Kalan chose the grove as the site for our group.” Her voice softened. “And if that was still too overwhelming for you, I would’ve been happy to move farther away with you to watch everything from a distance.”

Her compassion humbled him. “You’re too forgiving.”

Kymora tilted her head down, the frown on her forehead thoughtful, her expression intense. When she looked up again, her mouth was set in a firm line. “Varian, you have to learn to reach out to people, to trust them. Living a life in fear is no life at all.” Sincerity resonated in her voice. “I understand that better than most. And I think you do, too.”

He issued a silent grunt. Her strength and vision astounded him. How many times had he demanded the very best of his scouts, pushed them to what they thought were their limits and then watched them fill with satisfaction as they achieved more than they believed possible?

Kymora worked in much the same way. If she could face her fears with such honesty and dignity, then he could make the effort, even if it felt like walking over hot coals.

He wiped a hand along the length of his breech-clad thigh. “I value our friendship very much.”

Some of the tension left Kymora’s expression. “Then let’s be open and truthful with one another. No matter how much it frightens us.”

“I’ll try.”

She nodded once, accepting his response. “
Lady
knows it won’t always be easy, but if we want this to work, then we can always find a way.” She gestured back along the shoreline. “Would you like to watch the festivities with me?”

The longing to experience what she had as a child returned. “What, here?”

“Yes, if there’s somewhere to sit down, or we can return to the grove if you’d like.”

Her suggestion had him glancing over her shoulder at the crowded strip of lakeside. Torches and fires were being lit to compensate for the descending twilight. They dotted the shoreline like glow-flies. Groups of figures still gathered around the various entertainers and
stalls lined along the outer city wall and shoreline. The noise level, even at this distance, was constant.

With the workday over, more people were coming through the wide-open double gates to join those already there. His skin prickled at the thought of going anywhere near that crowd. He’d almost suffocated searching for her before Arek had found him.

“Well, your silence tells me going back isn’t a good idea.”

Guilt prodded him at interrupting her celebrations. “But you were with the others….”

“And now I’m with you.” Her simple answer touched his heart. The hand she held out to him was accompanied by a smile.

Varian stared at her hand. She trusted so easily he was frightened, for her, for his lack of understanding in how she could give it so freely.

He blinked and focused on her fingers. They were long, graceful, and unsteady.

They
trembled
.

His gaze snapped to her face. Her lips were parted, just barely, the bottom one caught between her teeth. Two small signs of vulnerability, each powerful enough to make his heart seize.

Together they felt like a blow to his gut.

Her uncertainty at how he’d perceive her gesture left him dry mouthed. Couldn’t she feel how much he admired and respected her boldness? How he marveled that she seemed to take his surliness and reticence in her stride, then make him feel as if none of his flaws mattered?

Something warm and tender expanded in his chest. It hurt and it didn’t. He swallowed hard.

Her courage gave him the impetus to lace his fingers with hers. Against his darker skin, hers seemed pale, and incredibly delicate. He ran a thumb over the softness of her palm, so different than his calloused skin, then traced the slender width of the back of her hand.

Did she know how good he felt to be touching her? Would she
notice how his hand shook, too? Did she feel the same tingly warmth working its way down along her arm to other places deep inside her?

The sensation was more a connection than something sexual, although there was a thread of desire woven through it. He didn’t feel the urge to act on it though. The tension between them was gone, and for now it was enough to just take pleasure in what they shared.

Varian cleared his throat. “There’s a spot on the bank behind you.”

He made sure Kymora was comfortable on the grassy knoll before sitting beside her. Stretching his legs out across the fine-pebbled down slope, he stared out across the lake. The gently rippling surface had changed in color from the time he’d first come through the lake-gates from the city. It’d gone from a beautiful deep blue to a blue-shadowed ebony with the onset of night.

Its serene quality reminded him of Kymora. Both were nature’s gifts, with natural beauty on the surface and in their hidden depths. Both were to be enjoyed and savored. And, as the silence between them lengthened, the sense of peace inside him at just being there with her was relaxing. No awkwardness. No pressure. No discontent.

Soul comfort.
Hesia’s words to describe the rare things that made you forget any hardship or problem and reminded you of the joy of just existing.

Until this moment, he’d never really understood the term. For now he was content to take it minute by minute. Regret, doubt, and uncertainty could wait until tomorrow. He’d deal with the fallout then. He released a slow breath.

Kymora folded her legs sideways and leaned in so that her body pressed against his, then tucked her hand into his larger one. He glanced to where the two bodyguards stood farther along the shore. Neither faced them directly, but the older woman’s gaze flickered over them every so often. Nothing in her expression reflected any response to their intimate position and that surprised him.

“Ehrinne or Nendal are seasoned warriors, too well trained for gossip.” Kymora’s soft comment eased some of his concern. Was she using her skill or had she guessed his concern? He still wasn’t sure he liked her being able to read him, if that’s what she was doing. Her thumb stroked over his knuckles. “The sun’s set behind the mountains.”

Her comment drew him away from observing the guards. He grunted. The sun had sunk below the ragged mountain range. Several minutes ago.

His enhanced vision compensated for the lack of light so he hadn’t actually noticed. A wispy bank of clouds hung low over the silhouetted range, one or two obscuring the snow-tipped caps. Varying shades of gold, orange, and deep burgundy trimmed their underbellies, contrasting sharply with the violet-hued backdrop of twilight. The landscape was a little dulled, like a washed-out, overcast day, but he could still see everything clearly.

“How did you know?” he asked.

“The air is cooler and I can hear the Night-lark’s song coming from where they nest on the ramparts of the city wall.” Sensory details, the sort most underutilized. Him included. “The dusk-parrots have also settled in the upper branches of the needle-trees. If you tune out the music from the festival, and listen really carefully, you can hear them squabbling over the best positions. They must sort it all out because by the time full dark comes, they’re silent.”

Varian snorted gently, his lips twitching at her description. “You make them sound like children arguing over being put to bed.”

“They do, don’t they?” She chuckled, then her head tipped toward him. “Are you smiling?”

He stiffened as she reached up to touch his face.

She hesitated. “Varian, I can’t read your aura with the crowd so close by. Too many thoughts and emotions.”

He cursed the instinctive reaction. Without her Gift, she was
truly blind. Taking her hand, he placed it on his cheek and let her feel his smile, needing the connection of her skin on his more than he wanted to pull away.

Her voice dropped to a whisper. “You can smile, you know. It’s not like anyone can see you and ruin your intimidating I’m-your-leader image. Especially me.”

It took a moment to realize she was teasing him. None of the other
Na’Chi
felt comfortable enough with him to attempt it. More amazing though was that Kymora had the capacity to make fun of herself and her disability.

Her fingertips trailed over his lips, whisper gentle. “I like knowing I’ve made you happy, Varian. It makes me content.”

Her words were another blow to his gut. She made expressing her feelings sound so easy. Too used to holding on to and hiding his, he recognized a soul-deep weariness that came from denying them and dared to speak freely.

“Then I will try to smile more often when I’m with you.”

Her smile was his reward. His eyes stung and he blinked hard several times. What he wouldn’t give to freeze this moment in time. He didn’t want to go back to the grove to the others or contend with the horde of people swarming along the shoreline like pollen-eaters.

“Then we won’t.” Kymora caressed his jaw, drawing him back to the present.