Allegiance (27 page)

Leif picked me up and flew upstairs, silently apologising for his father. He brought me to his bed and covered me with kisses.

‘I’m so confused,’ I said and hesitated as I considered whether I should tell him about the kiss. I decided it could only cause trouble.

‘Why, my love?’

‘He was… different, Leif, almost vulnerable… I don’t know how to feel. He’s hurt me so much.’

‘He’s tied to you now—he won’t hurt you anymore.’

‘If he breaks the bond he might.’

‘He has a little piece of you inside of him, Marla. He knows your heart… He won’t want to break your bond with him.’

‘How do you know?’ I asked, searching his face.

‘It is the way it is with our kind. He has vowed to protect you. Just as you cannot resist his will, he cannot resist caring for you. And if there is one thing I know about my father, it is that he loves his subjects.’ Leif’s eyes went dark when he added, ‘Above all else.’ After a pause, he continued. ‘Despite his flaws, Marla, he is a good king.’

‘I know one thing, Leif.’

‘Hmm?’

‘I was wrong about my mother. I honestly thought he must have pressured her into being with him, but I’m sure now that’s not what happened.’

‘Why do you say so?’

‘Because your father would have been irresistible to her.’

‘And is he irresistible to you?’

After a moment I said, ‘Honestly, Leif? I think the only way I could say no to anything he asked would be if I broke my bond with him first.’

Leif looked…
how did he look
? I didn’t know, but it wasn’t good.

I hurried on to reassure him, ‘It’s not the same as what I feel for you! If I’m not actually with him, I don’t give him a thought. It’s just… in his presence, it’s like what he wants is all that matters.’ I hurried on when I saw Leif’s discomfort. ‘But the feelings seem to go deeper than him—almost to something beyond. Whereas you,’ I wove my fingers through the hair at his temples. I could feel a smile playing on my lips. ‘I can’t
stop
thinking of you, Leif—I daydream all kinds of things about you, and when I go to bed and you’re not with me… I night-dream them as well.’

A smile flickered on his lips. ‘What kinds of things do you dream, Marla?’

I moved up his body a little way and whispered a sample of the kinds of things into his ear. The next moment he was gripping me to him with one hand, tangling the fingers of the other into my hair, keeping me locked to him, kissing and kissing.
Ah, how you torture me. How am I meant to show restraint when you speak such things to me?
I could hear the lust in his words even though they were spoken only with his mind.

You wanted to know, Leif, and I don’t have the power to deny you. Have me now—I wish you would.
He groaned, deep and desperate, and for a few seconds, with the way his hands roamed
unrestrained to places they’d never been before, I believed he was finally about to give in to me. But that was just wishful thinking and, with a sound that was almost a roar, he moved me away from him.

‘Stop, Marla!’ he cried.

‘Stop, Marla?’ I repeated in mock outrage. ‘Who wasn’t following the hands above the waist rule, Leif? Not I,’ I said, my voice laced with virtue every bit as fake as the outrage.

He sighed long and loud.

‘I know and it was very unfitting of me. I was overcome by you… which I know is not really an excuse. I truly apologise for forgetting myself, Marla, I won’t do it again,’ he said, his tone all formal and proper.

I giggled at his apology.

‘But I
want
you to do it again, I liked it,’ I whispered, blinking.

‘Please don’t tease me,’ he begged. ‘This is difficult enough.’

‘I like teasing you, it’s fun.’

But he’d regained his self-control and was not about to lose it again—not today anyway. I’d have to see what I could do about tomorrow. I realised how much better I felt. Leif sure had a relaxing effect on me.

It was early in the afternoon by the time we arrived at the house my brother shared with his grandmother. I wrapped my arms around my body as Leif knocked on the tired-looking door. A woman answered. She had the weary appearance of uncared-for age. Wiry bits of grey sprang from the hurried knot of hair at the back of her head and, even huddled into a huge puffer jacket, you could tell she was verging on emaciated. She said nothing, just waited for us to speak.

‘We’ve come to see Grant,’ Leif said, wasting no time. He didn’t have much to waste. His mission today was to seek out and comfort Ameyah’s human parents who’d been led to believe their daughter would soon be with them.

‘He’s not home,’ the woman said, peering at Leif suspiciously.

‘Do you know where he is?’ I asked.

She shook her head and began to close the door. Leif captured her eyes with his and a moment later, she was opening it instead.

What did you do to her?
I asked my betrothed as we followed her inside. I looked around the room. Mould marched across the ceiling and down the walls, congregating in the corners, and even though it was freezing outside, I was sure the temperature had dropped a couple of degrees.

Persuaded her to let us in.

Is there anything you can’t do?

He looked at me and grinned.
Not much, Marla, for I am a powerful prince.

‘You’re a powerful show-off, that’s what you are,’ I told him as we sat on the threadbare couch we were shown to. The woman had disappeared into another room.

He put his arm around my waist and pulled me hard against him. ‘You make me feel like showing off.’

Lysander appeared, coughing into a handful of tissues. Leif said hello before kissing me and leaving me alone with my brother.

‘How did you manage to get her to let you in?’ Lysander asked.

His words stung but somehow I kept my voice level when I said, ‘Aren’t you even a little bit interested to know me?’

My brother dropped onto the couch beside me and wiped at his eyes a few times with his thumb and forefinger. After coughing and blowing his nose some more, he said, ‘It’s complicated.’

‘Are those tissues non-allergenic?’

‘What?’

‘They’ll only make it worse if they’re not.’

He scratched under his arm. ‘It couldn’t get any worse.’

‘Haven’t you been eating the food and using the things I brought?’

His eyebrows pulled together. ‘What?’

‘I brought things from Faera for you.’

He shook his head. ‘Well, I never got them.’

I frowned, wondering what might have become of them. After a moment’s silence, I said, ‘What’s complicated anyway?’

He looked at me and all I wanted to do was give him a hug. My brother, my twin, and we sat together like a pair of strangers in a waiting room.

‘All right, so here’s the thing. I’ve got this girlfriend and she’s kind of… crazy.’

‘But I’m your sister! How could she be threatened by me?’

‘I know crazy, right?’

I reached into my bag and pulled out a handful of pictures. ‘Want to see our family?’

‘Sure.’ He held out his hand. But I didn’t pass them to him. I moved closer so we could look at them together.

I handed him the photo of the two of us in our basket. ‘This is me and you when we were just born.’

He stared at the image for a long time and, while he did, I watched him. It was difficult to read his expression in profile, but he looked like he might be smiling. ‘Cute,’ he said finally.

I showed him the photos of our grandparents.

‘But these photos are recent.’

‘They might have only been taken six months ago for all I know.’

He gave me a look that suggested I might be mad. ‘The people in these pictures aren’t much older than us. There is no way they’re
anyone’s
grandparents.’

I tried to think of the best way to explain. In the end I just gave him the whole unadorned truth.

‘So when I turn eighteen I’m going stop aging.’ He chuckled.

‘If you’re in Faera.’

He smirked on one side of his face. ‘There
had
to be a catch!’

‘You’ve seen me fly,’ I pointed out.

‘I’ve lost sleep over that,’ he admitted.

I stood. ‘Hop up and I’ll teach you.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Yeah, but you need to take your jacket and stuff off.’

He was on his feet in a second, peeling away the layers.

I cringed at the sight of his body. He was similar in build to our grandfather, Leander, tall and lean but broad across the shoulders. But where Leander was muscular and fit, Lysander was
whip thin. I could see every rib, and his collarbones jutted out like shelves. Not only that, but his rashes were vast and raw, much worse than mine had ever been. Scratch marks and torn skin covered his whole body. Tears pricked at my eyes. I blinked them back as I gave silent thanks for my family, the sacrifices they’d made—my nurturing dad, my vigilant mum and my protective sister. Clearly Lysander had experienced none of that. I was determined to somehow change things for him.

Stepping behind him I spread my hands on his back where his wings were hidden. His skin was ice beneath my palms. He didn’t have anywhere near enough sun and when he squirmed against my hands, trying to get some relief from the itching, I couldn’t have stopped myself from winding my arms around him if I’d tried. I flattened my palms against his chest and brought my body against his. He went rigid and demanded to know what I was doing. But before he could pull away, I poured a great wave of sun into him. He gasped and clapped his hands over mine and when his flesh had become warm beneath my palms, I stopped and released him before falling into the lounge, depleted.

‘You need to take more sun,’ I murmured.

Lysander just stared at me, mouth agape. ‘What did you do? I feel amazing!’

‘Of course you do, you can’t have ever been so full of sun. Tell me something, Grant, do you spend all day on the computer?’

He smiled guiltily. ‘Don’t know if you’ve noticed, Marla, but it’s not exactly balmy weather around here.’

‘But still, you need to get outside—every day. And you can’t use anything on your skin—soap, deodorant, aftershave—nothing.’

He nodded, eyes wide.

‘And be careful about what you eat—nothing processed, organic all the way. Next time I come, I will bring things from Faera for you.’

He came and sat back down. I told him about Faera, as well as the little I knew of our parents’ story. To lift the mood I described all the different foods I would bring him. After a while he stood, reminding me I was supposed to be teaching him to fly. I got up slowly, ignoring the dizziness in my head as I placed my hands on his back again. I fanned my fingers where his wings were hidden. ‘Your wings are here,’ I told him.

‘I feel
so
good!’

I was glad
he
did, because I felt awful—like I could fall down at any moment. ‘I know, but concentrate, Lysand… I mean Grant, cos this is tricky.’

‘Sorry,’ he said, and then a moment later he glanced at me over his shoulder. ‘You can call me Lysander if you like.’

Our smiles were interrupted by a knock on the door. ‘That’s Leif,’ I said.

‘How do you know?’

‘Because he just told me.’

He shook his head and went to let my betrothed in.

Leif took one look at me, then another at Lysander. He said nothing apart from, ‘Hello, my love. Hello, Grant,’ before taking me into his arms and filling me with sun.

‘I was just about to teach Lysander to fly,’ I said when I was myself again. I plunged my hands into his pockets.

A grin jumped to Leif’s face as he lifted his arms to give me better access. ‘In here? You’d have him bouncing off the walls!’ He chuckled as he watched me ransack his pockets.

I unwrapped the food I found there and handed it to my brother—two slices of herb loaf, a handful of nuts and a piece of toffee—warm from being in Leif’s pocket too long. I watched as he devoured every bit with unconcealed enjoyment.

‘Come,’ Leif said when Lysander had finished, ‘I saw the perfect place to learn to fly as I flew over.’

That night I lay in bed, cocooned in the quiet of night, my mind too full for sleep. Images of Lysander, whooping as Leif threw him to the wind, their combined laughter a gift to the sky as my brother’s skinny body plummeted towards the ocean, arms and legs sailing in every direction. Flying had come as easy as breathing to Lysander—his sparkling turquoise wings breaking free of his body effortlessly. It was so different to my own first experience. But where could he go with his new skill? What was there now for my brother?

A shrill cry rang through the forest, interrupting my thoughts. I got out of bed and padded to the window, peering into the night. Lights sprinkled across the treetops as far as I could see. Leif was down there—protecting his father’s subjects and searching the dark for a Shadow King he wasn’t sure existed. And Jack too, hiding with Ameyah. I wondered if my Fae parents were out there somewhere. How I wished I was brave enough to ask the king about them. What would he say if I ever found the courage? I thought about my human family for a while, and Hilary—I wondered what
she
was doing; I missed her only being a phone call away. I said a prayer for my family and friends, asked God to keep them safe. My dad believed in that stuff. I hoped he was right. Strands of my life, these people I loved, all floating in every direction but together. I wanted to pull them close and knit them up—wrap them around me like a blanket. But I couldn’t because the king I would do anything to please wouldn’t let me. My resentment rose up once more.