All You Can Handle (Moments In Maplesville Book 5) (17 page)

He’d just wheeled the trash receptacle to the curb when he spotted Sonny’s VW Bug turning onto Red Maple Drive. She pulled into the driveway. Ian was walking up to her car when she exited.

“Did I miss the clean up?” she asked. She pumped her fist in the air when he nodded. “Yes. My timing is perfect.”

Ian chuckled. “It wasn’t as bad as I first thought. Besides, you did enough today. I wouldn’t have asked you to help.”

“You know I’m only joking,” she said. “I’ll help clean up the kitchen.”

He waved off her offer. “I’ll get to it tomorrow. It was a long day. We both deserve some downtime.”

She rested her backside against the car door, her hands shoved into her front pockets. She looked so damn good Ian wanted to drop to his knees and offer himself up to her.

The air that sizzled between them was thick with want. The need to surround himself with her, to lose himself in that incredible body, was almost too much to withstand.

He told himself to look away, but his stubborn eyes refused to obey. Instead he and Sonny continued to stare at each other. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. It was right there in her eyes.

But they both had their reasons for not acting on it, and he had to remember that his reason was a damn good one. He wouldn’t allow Madison White to do to his family what Yvonne Landry had done.

“This—”

“I should—”

Ian gestured for her to speak.

“I was going to say that I should probably get to bed,” she opened. “Kiera and I are meeting with her sister-in-law, Jada Coleman, in the morning. They’re throwing the christening party for their friend Callie’s baby girl next month.”

“Does that mean you’ll be here at least until next month?” Ian asked. He hated hearing the hopefulness in his voice, but he also couldn’t deny it.

“I, uh, I’m not sure,” she said. “I haven’t decided.”

Her answer was like a fist to the gut.

Sonny pushed away from the car.

“Good night,” she said. And then she left him standing in the middle of the driveway.

~ ~ ~

Sonny felt as if she were wading through mud as she trudged up the stairs to her apartment. She was tired to the bone, but the taxing chore of hosting over twenty preteens wasn’t the only thing that had completely depleted her energy. This thing with Ian weighed as heavily as anything else.

Why was she denying herself someone she wanted so desperately?

She craved him so badly she ached with it. Her body still burned from the way he’d stared at her, his heated gaze penetrating through clothes and skin, down to the very heart of her.

This was pure insanity. What did she think would happen? Did she think shackles would magically drop from the sky and clamp down on her wrists the moment she admitted that she’d fallen for him?

But that
was
it, wasn’t it? When she looked at Ian, she didn’t want to leave.

That’s what scared her the most. But it didn’t have to be scary. It could be wonderful if she just allowed herself the freedom to explore what she’d found here with Ian.

“Just because you found him doesn't mean you have to lose yourself,” Sonny whispered.

She kicked off her sandals and drew her fishnet sweater over her head, leaving her in a white tank top, dark blue jeans and bare feet. She heard the downstairs garage door open, and seconds later, the sound of footsteps pounding up the stairs.

She rushed over to the landing just in time to see Ian taking the last few steps two at a time.

“Is something wrong?” Sonny asked.

“Yes.” He nodded as he rushed to her. He got right in her face and said, “Do you remember when you said you fought like hell to get what you wanted? Well, that’s what I’m doing. I want you.”

He grabbed both of her hands and backed her up against the wall. “And I’m not giving you up without a fight.” Then he crushed his mouth to hers.

Sonny clamped her hands onto his shoulders, her legs quickly going around his waist. Ian pulled the hem of her tank from her jeans and then over her head. He buried his face against her neck, then trailed his mouth lower, nibbling the tops of her breasts where her demi-bra pushed them together, making them plump up.

Hooking her other leg around his waist, Ian carried her to the small twin bed, depositing her on the mattress and following her down.

“Tell me to stop,” he said.

“No.”

“
Tell me!
”

“No!” she yelled. She didn’t want him to stop. She never wanted him to stop.

Ian unsnapped her jeans and slowly pulled the zipper down. Her skin burned hotter with each rasp of the metal teeth as they separated. He hooked his thumbs at her waist and pulled the denim down her hips. The snug material got caught up over her butt, eliciting a growl of frustration from Ian. He yanked the jeans down, causing Sonny to bounce on the bed.

“I’m not rushing this,” he said in a voice husky with desire. “I need this to be the complete opposite of what happened at The Corral.”

“Take your time,” she said. “But, please, don’t take too long.”

He stalked up her body like a panther, trailing heated kisses along her skin. He nipped her inner thighs, sucking at the skin then licking it softly, soothingly. His index fingers hooked into the sides of her panties, and then he pulled them down her legs.

The groan that escaped Ian’s throat was one of both pain and pleasure.

“No, this isn’t going to be fast at all,” he said. “Damn right I’m taking my time.”

Sonny felt herself growing wet under the heat of his scorching gaze. He spread her legs apart and dipped his head.

The first touch of his mouth catapulted her straight to heaven. He was relentless in his pursuit, his tongue laving her folds as his fingers toyed with her opening, dipping in just slightly, before he brought his finger out and coated her sex with her own moisture. Sensation flooded her veins, delicious sparks of pleasure shooting throughout her body. Ian alternated his licks, flicking rapidly and then languidly, rolling his tongue around the tight nub of nerves at her cleft, tormenting her with every wicked touch.

Her muscles clenched when one finger finally slipped deep inside of her soaking wet sex. A desperate gasp tore from her throat and her back arched like a bow.

Sonny grew conscious of the feeling that began to build low in the pit of her belly. Her muscles tightened. Her skin grew achy. Her senses heightened as Ian closed his mouth over her clit and sucked hard.

White-hot pleasure burst through her. Her limbs shook with it, satisfaction barreling through her.

Ian levered himself up and stripped out of his clothes. Then he rolled on the condom he’d taken from his pocket before tossing his jeans aside. Sonny’s mouth watered at the sight of his solid erection. She wanted that—wanted
him
—more than she wanted to escape her growing feelings for him. More than she wanted her cherished, hard-earned independence. This moment was everything to her.

Ian lowered himself over her and parted her thighs with his hips. He settled between her legs, but he didn’t enter. Instead, he hovered at the entrance of her body, teasing her with the plump head of his erection.

“Ian, please,” she said, rocking her hips upward, urging him on.

“In a minute,” he husked. “I need to…prepare myself.”

He inhaled several deep breaths before finally pushing his way inside of her. Twin moans rumbled out of their mouths. Sonny concentrated on the sensation of his thick, solid erection buried deep inside; he filled her so perfectly that it stole her breath.

Ian remained still for several heart-stopping seconds before he started to move within her. He matched her stroke for stroke, their cadence a mesmerizing rhythm as they came together in a way that made Sonny want to weep. She’d never felt so adored. Ian worshipped her body with his lovemaking, taking care in the strong, yet gentle glide of his powerful thrust. He whispered praises against her skin, his face buried against her neck as he slowly pumped in and out of her.

He braced his hands on either side of her head, the corded muscles in his arms standing out starkly on his light brown skin. The thin gold chain he wore around his neck glistened as it swung above her, in rhythm to the way his body moved.

His head dipped against her neck again, his breath gusting out in shallow pants against her moist skin. He moved faster, went deeper. Every decadent slide of his rock hard body penetrated her more fully, touching the very heart of her.

“Any second now,” Ian whispered against her lips.

Sonny gripped the sheets in her fists; her entire body pulled taut as Ian’s final, powerful thrust set off a million bursts of light behind her eyes.

She crashed back down to earth, her body replete with satisfaction.

“Oh, my God,” Sonny breathed against his slick shoulder, holding onto him for dear life. When he started to lift off of her, she clamped her leg behind his knee, locking him in. She never wanted to let him go. Ever.

She waited for panic to attack her body at the thought of never letting him go, but there was none. What she felt right now was the complete opposite of panic. The idea of never letting Ian go, of being with him like this for as long as she possibly could, brought nothing but peace.

She drifted to sleep with the reassuring weight of Ian’s body on top of her.

~ ~ ~

Sonny wasn’t sure how much time had passed when her eyes popped open. Moonlight drifted through the bead curtains she’d hung over the front windows. The gentle sway created by the ceiling fan Ian must have turned on while she was sleeping made the beads’ shadow dance across the bed.

“We need to talk.” Ian’s deep voice pierced the stillness.

Sonny twisted around so she could face him.

“Okay,” she said. She could see the seriousness in his eyes reflected in the moonlight.

“We both had our reasons for holding back, but I can’t do this anymore, Sonny.
We
can’t do this anymore. I’m done fighting what I feel for you, and I’m done letting you fight, too.”

That familiar panic returned, like the walls were closing in on her.

“Ian—”

“Don’t say this was just sex,” he warned. “You say it and I’m calling you a liar. This is not one-sided, Sonny.”

“I know it isn’t,” she said. “I can’t deny that I have feelings for you. There’s been something between us from the very first night we met. But—”

“But? But what?” he pressed. “But you’re afraid to act on it because your parents tried to make you into something you’re not? Because your ex-boyfriend used you to get closer to your dad? You’re done with that part of your life, Sonny. It doesn’t have anything to do with us.”

“But what if it does?” she asked, shifting in the bed and holding the sheet up to her chest. “How can I be sure that I won’t go right back to being that person whose entire life revolves around doing what other people want me to do?” She stared into his eyes, pleading with him to understand. “I’m finally on a path to figuring out where I want to be,
what
I want to be. I’ve fought too hard to get to this place in my life. I’m not giving it up.”

“I’m not asking you to,” he said. He captured her chin and tilted her head up ever so slightly. “No one can force you to stay. If you take that job in New Orleans or if something new comes up somewhere else, then you go. I’m not tying you down to Maplesville.

“But while you
are
here, I want to be here with you, Sonny. And not just like this,” he said, gesturing between them. “I want to be here.” He kissed her forehead. “And here.” He dipped his head and kissed the crown of her breast, over her heart.

A chaotic mixture of fear and hope knotted in her chest. He was offering her the best of both worlds—to have him and have her freedom.

But it was never about Ian giving her permission. It was about her losing herself.

It was about her becoming too attached to one place, or to one person that she couldn’t bring herself to leave, even if leaving turned out to be the best thing for her. It had been about her all along. Her decisions, her choices.
She
had always been the biggest threat to her own freedom.

And as long as she trusted herself to never lose the new person she’d found when she’d finally broken free from her former life, there shouldn’t be any obstacle between her and Ian.

Yet, Sonny still couldn’t bring herself to take that next step. The thought of making a commitment to him induced a shroud of panic that threatened to suffocate her.

“What if it’s still too difficult for me to let you inside of my head and my heart?” she asked. “Would you still want to be here with me, even if I can’t let you all the way in?”

“I would want you—expect you—to give me just as much as I plan to give you,” Ian said. “I won’t be in a one-sided relationship, Sonny.”

“So, are you…are you giving me an ultimatum?”

“If I did that it would send you running,” Ian said.

Possibly.
Probably
.

“So what are you saying?” she asked. “If I said that I have feelings for you, but that I’m not ready to commit to anything more than what we already have, what would your response be?”

He stared at her for several long moments, the intensity in his gaze robbing the breath from her lungs.

“I would tell you that you shouldn’t be afraid to open your heart to me,” Ian said.

She lifted her fingers to his jaw and gently caressed it.

“And I would tell you that I need just a little more time,” she said. He started to speak, but she stopped him. “Understand that I’ve spent the past year assuring myself that I would never do the very thing you’re asking me to do, make myself vulnerable to being dependent on someone else for my happiness. I just need a little time to process this. To convince myself that I won’t be in danger of losing the Sonny that I’ve finally found.”

His strained expression told her just how much he didn’t like her answer.

“How much time are we talking about?” Ian asked.