All Things Lost (54 page)

     “You…you won't.”

     “Are you sure?”

     There was silence for a minute and I wondered what was going on. I desperately wanted to open my eyes, but quite aside from the pain I knew I couldn't risk letting them know I was awake. Then I heard Finn sigh heavily.

     “Ok, you're right. I won't do that. As stupid as it may be I love you too much to do that. But if you think I'm going to just roll over while you ride off into the sunset with Asher you're insane.”

     “I have no intention of riding off anywhere with Asher. How could I do that to you after all we've been through together? I love you.” Caleb wheedling tone almost made me vomit, or maybe that was just from the bashing my head had only recently received.

     Finn's voice softened, “We'll get through this together.”

     “Yes, we will. But right now we have to figure out what to do with him?” I could only assume they were talking about me. I tried to lie as still as I possibly could and keep my breathing steady.

     “We can't let him go,” Finn said thoughtfully.

     “I already said that.”

     “I know, now suggest something helpful.”

     “Like what?”

     “Well, of we can't let him go what do we do with him? Hold him hostage? I don't think so. That only leaves one other option.”

     “You mean…?”

     He didn't finish; he didn't have to. We all knew what he meant.

     “Don't look at me like that,” Finn snapped, “You know we have to. He heard too much.”

     “He doesn't know what he heard,” Caleb said weakly.

     “He heard enough to hurt us. Oh, for God's sake, don't go looking all green. You didn't have any trouble hacking your dad up with an ax.”

     “That was different. He deserved to die after everything he'd done to me. If no one else was going to do anything for me what choice did I have?”

     “None, I know why you had to do it. That's why I was there for you, waiting outside while you chopped him up like firewood and holding you while you cried for hours afterwards. This isn't any different.”

     “Yes it is! Killian hasn't hurt anyone; he's just trying to find out the truth.”

     “But won't that hurt you?
If he finds out the truth?
He isn't going to just sit on it, you know.
And what about me?
Everything I've done has been for you. I helped you plan it and hide any evidence that wasn't destroyed in the fire. I'm the one that lied to police when it became obvious that a lack of evidence wasn't going to stop them from sending you away.”

     “I didn't ask you to do that,” Caleb said quickly.

     “If I hadn't, where
would
you be now? Waiting for trial in some cold cell?”

     “They wouldn't have convicted me; there was no evidence against me. Just…what do they call it?
Circumcision?”

     “Circumstantial. And they convict on less than that all the time. There were no other real suspects, just you. Now you're not a suspect and that's thanks to me. Not that you've appreciated it at all.”

     “We were supposed to keep things simple. Nothing is simple anymore.
And now this.
How do we do it? And what do we do with him afterwards?”

     “Maybe we don't have to actually do it ourselves,” Finn said slowly.

     “What do you mean?”

     “Well, a fire sure worked last time. What if we take him up into the loft, make sure he's really unconscious and set the barn on fire. He'll die in the fire and destroy all the evidence again at the same time. We can even make it look like an accident.”

     “How would we do that?” I was relieved to hear hesitation still in Caleb's voice. Maybe they wouldn't go through with this right away. Maybe it would give someone time to start looking for me. My car wasn't exactly hidden that well. Someone would spot it and know I was nearby, right? I sent a little prayer heavenward as they went on.

     “I don't know. Does he smoke?”

      
“Not that I know of.
I've never seen him smoke.”

     “Ok, well that makes it harder. Um…”

     “Maybe we could just run away,” Caleb said suddenly.

     “Huh?”

     “I know where Terry and Becky keep a wad of cash. I could take it and we could run.”

     “Run where?
And how long could we live on a little cash?
We're fifteen, we couldn't get real jobs and I'm not going to be a street hustler. No, we have to do it this way. Look, isn't your Dad's old girlfriend a suspect? She smokes like a chimney. We could still use a cigarette to start the fire and if they find it that would cast suspicion on her. I mean, you don't smoke so why would they suspect you? If we could get one of her brand it would be even better.”

     “And how would we do that?”

     “Do you know what she smokes?”

     “I think
it's
Marlboro, but I'm not sure.”

     “My Dad keeps a pack of them in his truck. He doesn't smoke that much anymore but he says it's comforting to keep a pack near him. I'll just run home and get one. I'll be right back.”

     “No! Wait, I don't want to stay here with him alone,” Caleb begged.

     “You're kidding, right? How old are you? He's out cold, and after that bang I gave him he's not going to be feeling too swift when he does come to. I won't be long.”

     “Finn, please. I'll go with you.”

     “Think, Caleb! We can't leave him hear alone. What if he wakes up while we're gone?”

     “We could tie him up. There's rope on the wall.”

     “Hmm, well at least you're thinking. I guess we could do that. Get the rope.”

     There were some scuffling and banging sounds as Caleb got the rope off the wall. My mind was racing. Should I put up a fight now? It didn't seem like the best idea. I didn't doubt that Finn would hesitate for a second to knock me out again and then what chance would I have? Ever since the house burned down that night with Jake, me and Asher in it I'd had a fear of burning to death. For a while I'd even woken up at night screaming after terrible nightmares where we didn't get out and the greedy flames consumed my flesh. I remembered reading somewhere that if you flex your muscles as someone is tying you up that it will leave a little lax in the rope when you relax. I could try that and hope they didn't feel the tension in my body.      

     I felt them approach and kneel down beside me.

     “Should we take him upstairs first?” Caleb asked timidly.

     
“Nah, not now.
Let's just get him tied up and go get that cigarette.”

     I felt hands lift my wrists. I tried to keep myself limp while they pulled my arms behind my back. Every motion sent my head whirling and I tried not to cry out in pain.
When I felt the ropes slip around my wrists I realized there weren't exactly any muscles to tense in my wrist.
They tied the ropes so tightly I felt the circulation being cut off to my hands. Then they tied my feet the same way and dragged me over to the pile of straw. They dropped me roughly and my head bounced a little off the ground. For a few seconds I was sure that I was going to lose consciousness again. By the time I managed to fight it off, they were throwing loose straw over me and I found myself struggling not to sneeze. I listened to the sound of their feet move away and then heard them climb out the window, all without saying a word.

     I waited a few tense minutes before letting loose with a huge sneeze that shook my whole body and almost made me black out. I struggled to sit up but the rolling waves of blackness came back and all I managed was to flop onto my side where I lay panting in distress. How was I going to get out of this one?

Chapter 31

     I waited until the blackness receded and the nausea faded and tried to make my mind function if not normally than at least with some semblance of normalcy. Obviously I wasn't going to be moving anywhere too quickly so it might be good if I had a plan worked out to make the best use of my available resources. I knew I didn't have a lot of time; Finn didn't live that far away, so I had to act quickly and effectively. The first order of business was to get these ropes off of me. It was a good thing Finn and Caleb weren't professionals. They hadn't tied me to anything so I could still move fairly freely even if I could no longer feel my hands. I carefully turned my head to look around. I thought I remembered some old tools somewhere from one of my previous visits. If any of them had a sharp edge maybe I could cut the ropes on my wrists. I spotted the wooden handles leaning against the wall on the far side of the hulking carcass of the old tractor.

     My head spun a little at the very thought of working my way all the way over there but it was either that or wait and get toasted. I started inching my way in that direction but I had to stop after every few scoots as the darkness threatened to overtake me. At this rate I'd never get there in time. I took a deep breath and decided I was going to have to suck it up and go for the gusto, pain or no pain. I mustered up all my reserves and rolled towards the wall.

     I was only halfway there when the nausea became too much. I flopped onto my belly and emptied the contents of my stomach all over the floor in front of me. That took more out of me than I would have expected and I suddenly found that it was all I could do to hold my face out of the mess. I managed to roll myself onto my back and away from the worst of it but that was as far as I could go. I'd tried and failed. It was just a matter now of waiting for them to come back and finish me off. So this was how I was going to die, an ignoble end; lying in a puddle of my own puke, trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey waiting for the oven. I'd never get to say goodbye to Adam or Steve, my mom or Kane, Novak or Micah…or Asher. Asher. Of everyone, I regretted how I'd left things with him the most. Would he find out in time about
who
and what Caleb really was or would he get hurt too?
Maybe even killed.
Without even realizing it, I had started to cry. Hot tears ran down my face as I tried not o shudder too hard from my sobs.

     “You can't give up this easy,” a voice said suddenly, causing my whole body to spasm in fear. I tried to blink away the tears but they only appeared as a blur as they went on. “This isn't the Killian I know. He wouldn't just roll over and die. You've been in tougher situations than this. Come on! You have to keep trying.”

     “Seth?” I whimpered.

     “Yes, come on.” He finally came into focus, standing over me with a concerned expression his face.

     “I can't,” I whined, my voice thick with tears, “It hurts.”

     “So does burning to death.”

     “Help me, untie me.”

     “I can't. Come on, Killer. You can do this. I know you can. You're strong.”

     “I'm not. I'm not strong.” I squeezed my eyes closed and wished he would just leave me alone to die.

     “You are! Listen to me, Killian Travers Kendall. You have been given a purpose in this life. You have things to do that only you can accomplish. If you give up now they may never get done.”

     “I…I can't.”

     “You can!”

     With his last words, I felt a sudden surge of warmth and strength flow into my body. My eyes flew open but he was gone. I was once again alone. The pain in my head had faded enough that I thought that maybe just maybe I could reach the wall after all, but not by rolling. I'd had enough of that. Still on my back, I used my legs to push myself along the ground, holding my tender head off the floor. It wasn't easy and it still hurt like hell but it was better than rolling.

After what seemed like an eternity, I reached the tools. There was a shovel lying on the ground that looked as if it hadn't been used since I'd been born and maybe longer. Or at least not for it's intended purpose. In a distracted sort of way I noticed that there was something wet on the back of it and it occurred to me that it was probably blood; my blood, from when Finn had smacked me in the back of the head with it. I didn't know it for a fact but somehow I felt that I was right. I turned my attention back to the other implements, a hoe, a rake, and…yes! Standing next to the other tools was a scythe; the long handled tool with a long curving blade that they used to use to cut hay and straw. The blade was rusted and pitted but it still had enough of an edge that I thought I could saw through the old dry-rotted ropes. I was just lucky that Finn had grabbed the shovel and not the scythe or I might have been decapitated.