All the Days of Our Lives (51 page)

Robbie came thumping down the stairs and stopped on the bottom step, taking in the sight of Michael. Katie had just pulled off the hat to reveal his head of black curly hair. Robbie’s was shorter, lighter.

‘Robbie,’ she said. ‘This is the friend I told you about: Michael. How about we find the pair of you something to do, eh?’

‘Football,’ Robbie said emphatically.

‘But . . .’ Em was about to protest, but Michael was already heading towards Robbie, seemingly fascinated by the sight of him. He stood staring up at him, wide-eyed, and Robbie, a step higher than Michael and already taller by two years, looked down and, seeing an eager follower whom he could command and teach, became instantly well disposed.

‘Don’t s’pose he’s much good. But I’ll try and show him,’ he said in a weary voice, which made Katie laugh. Watching her, Em saw that something in her had changed. She seemed more relaxed than she had ever been.

‘Well, it’s stopped raining outside,’ Cynthia said. ‘They can go out in the yard, if you don’t mind them getting grubby. There’s just about enough room for them to kick a ball around.’

‘I remember it,’ Katie said, looking round her. She sounded quite emotional. ‘Goodness, yes, I remember this house . . .’

Michael, hat on again, followed Robbie outside.

‘I’ll go and have a look – see they’re all right,’ Cynthia said. ‘You girls go and get some tea.’

In the back room, while Em made tea and they were suddenly silent, Katie still kept looking round.

‘It seems so long,’ she said. ‘And yet you’ve been here all this time!’

‘Well, I don’t live here any more of course,’ Em said. ‘Only I thought it’d be better if we met here. Sit down – would you like a piece of cake? We made a sponge.’

And then, as Em had dreamed so many times, there they were, sitting at the table, drinking tea together. She looked shyly at Katie, wondering where they were going to begin.

‘I had a lot on my plate when I saw you in town that time,’ Katie said. ‘You know, just after the war.’ The memory had obviously been troubling her. ‘I had a new job, was trying to find somewhere to live, and Michael was small – I didn’t seem to have room in my thoughts for much else. I was sorry afterwards – wished we’d arranged to meet or something . . .’

‘Well,’ Em made a face, ‘I suppose I was on my way to a hanging, as well.’

‘Oh yes – goodness, so you were!’

Cynthia popped back in to say the boys were getting along fine. ‘Robbie’s very much in charge,’ she said. ‘But Michael seems quite happy.’

‘It’s good for him,’ Katie said. Em watched her as she spoke to Cynthia, with a sense of wonder that she was here, and thinking how nice she looked, how pretty.

‘Don’t you worry – just pop out every now and then. I’m going to go and see Dot,’ Cynthia said. ‘Leave you two to it. Joyce and Vi are out, so you won’t be disturbed.’

‘Before you go,’ Katie said, half getting up.

‘What is it, love?’ Cynthia came over with her coat.

‘Well . . .’ Katie sank to her chair again, blushing. Em saw that her hands had a tremor too. ‘I know it might seem a bit silly, after all this time. But I want to clear the air. When we were living down the road, my mother didn’t behave very nicely to some people . . .’

‘That wasn’t your fault,’ Cynthia said. ‘You were only a babby!’

Katie seemed very moved by this. Her eyes filled with tears and for a moment she struggled to speak. ‘It’s nice of you to say that,’ she said. ‘But all the same . . . I wanted to say I’m sorry – to both of you. When you were poorly, Mrs Brown, my mother wasn’t very kind about it, and she made me feel that I shouldn’t see Em and play with her. And I went along with her, and I know it was wrong of me. Truly wrong and nasty.’ Katie wiped her eyes. ‘I was horrible to you, Em, and I just went off and left you when you needed a friend. And I was so busy being snooty towards Molly Fox that I couldn’t even see that . . . well, in her way, she was better than me, wasn’t she?’

Em swallowed. This she couldn’t deny. ‘Molly was a good friend then,’ she said.

‘Well, I’ve always regretted that I wasn’t.’ Katie spoke looking down at the tabletop. ‘And that I didn’t argue with my mother. She was so . . . so forceful, and so worried all the time about my uncle – I think that was what it was, partly . . .’ She looked up at them again.

‘Your uncle suffered in his mind, didn’t he?’ Cynthia asked.

Katie stared at her and suddenly burst out laughing. ‘It’s so funny, isn’t it? All these things people think they’re hiding, trying to keep a secret – and everyone knows all along! Why can’t we all just tell the truth!’

‘Well, yes . . . I s’pose you’re right,’ Em said. ‘But people can be so unkind.’

‘Oh, they certainly can,’ Katie said. ‘I do want you to know how sorry I am for being so nasty myself.’

Cynthia walked round and patted Katie’s shoulder. ‘So far as I’m concerned, it’s all past history and we’ll put it behind us, love. Now – don’t forget to give those lads some cake. I’ll see you later.’

When she’d gone, they sat quietly for a minute before Em said, ‘I still can’t believe you’re here.’

‘It’s ever so nice to see you,’ Katie said, and again Em was struck by the change in her, the cold, closed manner all gone. ‘I’ve missed you, you know.’

‘Me too.’ Now it was Em’s turn to have tears in her eyes. ‘Funny, isn’t it – we were only babbies, but we got on so well. And now, knowing you’ve got a little lad as well – it’d seem such a waste, never seeing them together. Hang on, I’ll go and have a look at them . . .’

From the back door she saw that the two boys were happy in the yard. Robbie was instructing Michael quite pompously in the arts of football. Em smiled and went back in.

‘They’re happy as Larry,’ she said. ‘Now then, will you tell me about your life – what’s happened to you?’

Katie talked then, for a long time, about how things had been at home with her mother and uncle. Em watched her as she talked, sometimes looking at Em, sometimes away at the window. Em was fascinated, seeing the way her mouth moved as she talked, her fingers – she remembered her hands, her wide nails – the slant of her shoulders. It seemed so strange that Katie should seem so closely familiar after all this time.

‘Michael’s father has never once seen him,’ she went on. Her voice was dispassionate. ‘I won’t say who he is – it doesn’t really matter now. When we met, I think I was just amazed that anyone would be interested in me, like that. I hadn’t a clue about men, and I didn’t have a very high opinion of myself. He seemed very keen, and I just thought that because he said he was keen on me, that I must be on him. We weren’t suited at all really. If we’d married, I think I’d have been very unhappy.’

She looked across and saw the sadness in Em’s eyes.

‘That’s terrible,’ Em said. For all the days of humdrum life, working, bringing up Robbie, Em knew she had loved Norm, that underneath it all she still did. ‘How did you manage? I mean, when he was born?’

‘I went to a friend – her family were very kind. And then I went back to work. You know, shorthand and typing.’

‘That’s what our Vi wants to do,’ Em said, smiling.

‘It’s not a bad job. There’s plenty of work.’

Em was just about to speak again when the back door opened and the boys came roaring in, pink-cheeked and excited.

‘Nanna said there’s cake!’ Robbie cried. His eyes fastened on the Victoria sponge cake. ‘Ooh – can we have some?’

They were soon tucking into slices of the dry cake and a cup of milk.

‘Michael’s getting a bit better at football,’ Robbie reported. ‘But he won’t catch up with me – not yet.’

The two mothers smiled. ‘Well, thank you for giving him a lesson anyway,’ Katie said.

‘Right, you two – go on, Robbie, find your cars and your bits and bobs. You two can settle down here now.’

‘Oh!’ they both cried, and Robbie said, ‘Oh, Mom – we want to go out again!’

It was still light, so Em agreed.

Katie told Em about Maudie, and then about Sybil’s house and finally, with a blush, she talked about Marek.

‘I thought you had roses in your cheeks,’ Em said. Maybe Marek was the one who had made Katie seem so different, she thought. ‘Polish,’ she added. ‘My goodness! Does he speak English?’

‘Yes,’ Katie chuckled. ‘Sometimes it’s funny, when he gets things wrong. He’s ever so good with Michael. I think . . .’ She frowned, as if trying to work something out. ‘I don’t know why we get on really.’ There was something in each of them, of loss and need and a shared sense of humour. Not to mention physical attraction. ‘It’s just something you can’t really put into words, isn’t it? Just something right.’

‘I s’pose it is,’ Em said.

Katie looked closely at her and held out her cup for the top-up that Em was offering.

‘Quite enough of my life. Tell me about you?’

‘Oh, not much to tell.’ Being unusually blunt after Katie’s honesty, she said, ‘Married. Living with his mom and dad, for better or worse. One son: can’t seem to have any more.’

Tears came again, quite unexpectedly, and she ducked her head down.

‘Oh dear – oh, Em, you’re really upset, aren’t you?’ Katie’s kind voice brought out all Em’s bottled-up feelings.

‘I know I should be grateful for having one son,’ she said through her tears. ‘But Norm wasn’t here to see him grow up, either, and they’ve never been all that close. I don’t want many – just one more, that Norm can get to know from the beginning. I think it would bring us closer, too. Not that it’s bad. We’re OK.’ Now she felt she’d said too much, or at least that it had come out clumsily and given the wrong impression. She and Norm were OK – of course they were!

‘Well, maybe it’ll happen,’ Katie said.

‘Yes.’ What else was there to say? ‘But I’m trying to get used to the idea that it won’t – not after all this time.’

‘Is Molly Fox married?’ Katie asked.

‘Molly? Oh no. Well – not so far as I know. You never quite know with Molly. I haven’t heard from her as much as during the war – we used to write quite regularly then. But now she seems to be doing jobs here and there. In holiday camps in the summer: Butlin’s and that. But she doesn’t come up here. I don’t think she wants to tangle with that mother of hers.’

‘Oh yes, I remember. She used to frighten me to death!’

‘Old Iris? Yes – she gave me a few frights, I can tell you. She’s still about here somewhere. Looks the same, only worse.’

‘Was she . . .’ Katie hesitated. ‘Was she cruel to Molly? All I remember is how much Molly smelt: that stink always hanging round her. And that yard up that horrible slimy entry – it gave me the creeps. But I never really knew much about her.’

‘Oh, Iris was cruel all right. She’s vile – the only word for her. I worry about Molly; I don’t know where she is or what she’s doing. I just hope one day she’ll write again, or turn up. She’s got no family except her mother, and she doesn’t want anything to do with her.’

‘Well, that’s something we’ve got in common, I suppose,’ Katie said wistfully. ‘I don’t s’pose she thinks much of me, though.’

‘No, probably not,’ Em said. Then grinned. ‘But it’s never too late, is it?’

By the time Katie left that afternoon the two boys had become firm friends.

‘It’s a good thing we got on all right, isn’t it?’ Em said. ‘’Cause these two’re going to make sure we meet up again, whether we like it or not!’

‘You have a good Christmas,’ Katie said as she left. ‘I suppose it’ll be hard – first one without your dad.’

‘Yes – but we’ll be all right. Mom’s coping really well. She’s even gone out and got a job.’ Now she could even feel pleased and proud. Going out to work was much better than sinking into a depression!

Katie helped Michael back into his hat and coat and then put her own on.

‘You do look nice,’ Em said.

Katie smiled. She reached out and kissed Em’s cheek. ‘And so do you. I’m so happy to see you.’

‘Me too,’ Em said, which didn’t seem enough to express just how glad she really was.

‘Bye, Michael mate!’ Robbie called after them along the street. Michael swivelled round and raised his thumb. Em saw that Robbie was doing the same.

‘Oh, Robbie,’ she laughed, and raised her hand as Katie turned and waved. Katie – her friend.

December 1948

Ice-cold rain was lashing down the day Marek brought Agnieska to Handsworth.

It was the Saturday before Christmas and the whole household had been in a bit of a tizzy. Marek had been tense and excited, and Katie was nervous about Agnieska’s arrival. What would she be like? And was she still really so delicate? She had an impression in her mind of an invalid who would need constant care. And she was full of tender worry for Marek. Sybil also seemed concerned that Agnieska should have a good welcome and be taken care of, as if greeting an injured bird that needed nurturing back to health.

‘Goodness, what a day!’ Sybil said, looking out of the back window at the bloated clouds.

Marek had gone to Birmingham to meet his sister’s train. Sybil had taken deliveries of food and was cooking up a pot of vegetable soup, with Michael helping to cut up the vegetables.