All She Ever Wanted (33 page)

Authors: Rosalind Noonan

BOOK: All She Ever Wanted

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for a special Q&A
with Rosalind Noonan.

A Conversation with Rosalind Noonan

It's been said that the plot of
All She Ever Wanted
was “ripped from the headlines.” Did a particular kidnapping spark the idea for the novel?

The novel wasn't modeled after any particular case. For me, the story began with a woman suffering from postpartum depression. I thought about the stress in her life, the lack of energy, the guilt over not appreciating the baby that she'd wanted for so many years. This book was well under wayânearly completedâwhen Lisa Irwin was abducted in October 2011. Although my story is fiction, I admit that its resemblance to this real infant abduction is eerie. I was about to turn the manuscript in to my editor in April 2012 when Kala Marie Golden was killed, her child stolen from her in a clinic parking lot. Writing about infant abduction has made me more aware of cases reported in the news. Although it is not a widespread crime, I think the randomness of many of these abductions is frightening for mothers everywhere.

The details of Chelsea's suffering come through poignantly. What's your experience with postpartum depression?

When my first child was born, I remember holding her and crying and wondering why I wasn't happier when I looked into her beautiful blue eyes. After carrying this baby for nine months, I felt like I didn't know her. I was holding a stranger. And alienation was not something I expected to feel toward my newborn. I think I was experiencing the “baby blues,” a short-term reaction to childbirth. The bad feelings faded after the first week, and I nearly forgot about the episode. Looking back, I think my reaction was a fraction of the suffering that some new mothers go through when they suffer from PPD.

A few years later, when another mom at nursery school drop-off started talking about her serious battle with postpartum depression, I thought she was exaggerating. In her deep depression she had dropped her baby onto the hardwood floor. “She just slipped out of my arms,” Evelyn told us. An ambulance was called and her husband confronted her with an angry question: “What's wrong with you?” When the doctors told Evelyn and her husband that it was PPD, they were both skeptical. The whole notion of a mother not mothering her child seemed to defy nature. Some of the other moms thought it was a made-up disease. They chalked it up to Evelyn's flare for the dramatic. I wasn't sure what to think, but I was glad that Evelyn had gotten help.

Not long after Evelyn's episode, Marie Osmond went public with her struggle with postpartum depression. Women I spoke with were shocked that a celebrity like Marie Osmond, with personal wealth, fame, and resources, was so depressed that she sat on the floor of her closet and cried. Ms. Osmond is very generous with the details of her experience in
Behind the Smile: My Journey out of Postpartum Depression
. Reading it, I really felt her pain as well as her indomitable spunk. She was determined to find her way back to happiness. A few years later, in 2005, Brooke Shields shared her experience with crippling depression in
Down Came the Rain
. Her smart analysis of the way happiness slipped away and the fight to get it back shows the many facets of depression.

I am grateful that these high-profile women shared their difficult experiences. Despite the research and statistics on the very real, very treatable, very common problem of PPD, too many people dismiss it as either a myth or a temporary setback of motherhood. But when Marie and Brooke spoke up, people listened. And women got it. They recognized their own pain and were finally able to give it a name. Validation, understanding, sound advice. I think the turn of the century also proved to be a turning point for postpartum depression.

For your research, did you interview women who suffered from postpartum depression?

It seemed invasive to target people that way, especially when there were so many cases that had been published. However, whenever I talked about what I was working on, various friends and acquaintances came forward to share their experiences.

One friend admitted that she fired her full-time nanny because she didn't want to pay someone else to raise her child. Within a week she was struggling to get out of bed, missing her executive position in the city where people waited on her for decisions. The monotony and isolation of taking care of an infant hammered away at her psyche.

One mom at a lacrosse game recalled being caught in a deep depression when her baby was born. Listening to her, I recalled the image of her sitting with her baby on a bench at school years earlier, her face red, her eyes unfocused, as a woman beside her spoke encouragingly. I didn't know her back then, but I remember thinking what a stern mother she was. That critic inside me was brutal. Now I'm so ashamed to have passed judgment without having a clue about what had been going on.

My friend Beth spoke up recently while we were having lunch and I mentioned that the protagonist of my new book suffered from postpartum depression.

“What's that?” someone asked.

“It's when you stand on a bridge with your baby in your arms and watch her slip away and fall,” Beth said, “and you see her hitting every pillar and rock on the way down.”

That got everyone's attention. Without drama or reservation, Beth articulated the dark fantasies that had overcome her when she'd been a new mother.

She's been through so much,
I thought,
but now she's owning it
. Beth worked through her PPD long ago, but the passage of time has not softened the memory. I admire her candor and strength.

The big thing with PPD is to get help, to reach out to family, friends, or your doctor. I hope that any woman who sees herself in Chelsea's suffering will know that help is nearby.

Your last few books have included characters in law enforcement, and the detectives from the Missing Persons Squad, Grace Santos and Chris Panteleoni, play significant roles in the second half of
All She Ever Wanted
. Do you have an affinity for this profession?

You caught me. My husband has worked in law enforcement for more than twenty years, much of it with the New York City Police Department, and it seems very natural to write about that world having an in-house expert. My characters are influenced by the place they live
. In a Heartbeat
's Detective Greg Cody came from the NYPD but was adjusting to a different tempo of policing in Upstate New York. The NYPD is woven through the Sullivan family in
The Daughter She Used to Be
. And Sheriff Cooper Locklear grew up in North Carolina's Outer Banks, served in the military, and returned to keep the peace at home in “Carolina Summer” (in the
Beach Season
anthology). Currently, I have no plans for a law enforcement character in my next book, which is in the planning stages, but you never know who might sneak in.

You take a shot at the health insurance industry in this book. Is Chelsea's annoyance based on personal experience?

Absolutely. I consider myself to be fairly astute at keeping records and tracking things, but there are not enough hours in the day to chase the insurance claims that go awry for ridiculous reasons. Although I suppose I should consider myself to be fortunate to have health insurance coverage, it's very frustrating when 90 percent of most procedures aren't coveredâand this after I chase paperwork or wait on the “helpline” for a rep who refuses to speak with me because I am not the policy holder. Recently, I was denied reimbursement for services, with the insurer stating that our policy did not exist. Really? After all these years? It was like learning about a breakup from a greeting card. Fortunately, the representative I spoke with on that occasion was kind and helpful. But the situation is a worry for families everywhere. At times like that, I look to the sky and ponder moving to France. Imagine excellent health care for a minimal price. Wouldn't that be nice?

A READING GROUP GUIDE

ALL SHE EVER WANTED

Rosalind Noonan

ABOUT THIS GUIDE

The suggested questions are included
to enhance your group's reading
of Rosalind Noonan's
All She Ever Wanted.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1.
Why do you think the novel begins with episodes from Chelsea's childhood? What insight do these “lifesaving” events add to her background?

2.
Chelsea feels like a failure as a mother. “How did other mothers do it? She wanted to ask them, to shout a question out to the new mothers of the world, a plea for them to share their answers, reveal their secrets.” What qualities does our society value in a mother? Does the image of a good mother match the reality?

3.
Jennifer Green's determination to get back into her ex-husband's life is a force to be reckoned with. Have you ever known a person with Jennifer's single-minded resolve?

4.
Chelsea still regrets not being present for her mother's last hours in the hospital. She “was convinced that a person on the threshold to the next world could still sense the presence of loved ones around them.” In a sense, Chelsea is also lingering on a threshold to another world. Who is it that gets through to her and convinces her that she needs help?

5.
Have you ever made a mistake because you were suffering from depression or exhaustion? Missed a turn on the road or put the car keys in the refrigerator? Share your story.

6.
In what ways does Chelsea's memory of her mother influence her relationship with Annabelle?

7.
How does Leo relate to his daughter? His sister-in-law Emma? How does his relationship with Jake Wyatt change by the end of the book?

8.
Should Leo have gone to Boston for the convention? What were his alternatives?

9.
In what ways do Grace Santos's personal philosophies influence the police investigation? Do you think things would have been handled differently if the lead investigator had been a man? Do you think Grace is too easy on Chelsea?

10.
Why did the author choose to make Chelsea an editor for a home fix-it magazine? How does this color her view of the world?

11.
Is Louise Pickler a tragic figure, a comic character, or both? What are some of her unusual habits?

12.
How does the abduction of Annabelle Green affect the neighborhood?

13.
How would you describe Grace Santos's approach toward people? Do you think her demeanor is productive to an investigation, or does it slow things down?

14.
Chelsea and Emma recall a nursery rhyme about an elephant family, a beloved poem from their childhood. Do you have any traditions, songs, or rhymes that have been passed down through your family?

KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by

Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018

Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.

ISBN: 978-0-7582-8621-5

ISBN-10: 0-7582-7498-X

First Kensington Trade Paperback Printing: January 2013