All or Nothing (15 page)

‘Hi’ I call my eyes lighting up at his
presence.

‘Hi’ he mumbles his eyes penetrating mine
before relaxing slightly, we stand gazing at each other my insides fluttering
‘I missed you’ he murmurs quietly.

‘I missed you too’ I whisper as my stomach
somersaults and I reach up placing my lips against his, he inhales a breath
before his hand finds my neck and deepens the kiss his eyes closed. We stand on
the pavement our tongues stroking each other’s, this isn’t about sex this is
about reconnecting. Grant ends the kiss leaving me heavy eyed ‘come on’ he
grabs my hand and guides me to the car where he opens the passenger door.

I enter inside and settle in the leather
seat, Grant joins me and starts the car, ‘you hungry?’

‘Starving’ I murmur.

‘Ok’ Grant drives to his apartment and
parks his car, ‘there’s a lovely Italian around the corner’

We sit beside each other at the restaurant
Grant has been worryingly quiet which is making me nervous, ‘you ok?’ I murmur
gently towards him.

‘No not really’ he mumbles.

‘Why?’ I insides are churning in
apprehension.

‘Amber has refused a scan with me present,
David called me today.  It seems as if she is determined to make this as
painful and drawn out as she can.  I feel like just telling her I am not
interested but a tiny part of me is concerned incase this child is my child. 
And to top it all you are detaching from me’ he observes me cautiously.

I stare down at my fingers I cannot deny it
I am! Isn’t this what Bella warned me not to do. 

‘I am not letting you go Abi’ he warns ‘we
belong together’

‘I don’t doubt that’ I reply ‘I just don’t
know if I can take on the drama of another woman’s demands because that is what
this is going to boil down to.  It isn’t the baby’s appearance so much it is
Amber and her dictating our lives’

He remains quiet for a while, ‘marry me
Abi’

‘What?’

‘Marry me, I can cope with anything as long
as you are with me’ his eyes bore into mine.

‘Grant’ I shake my head ‘you are knee
jerking’

‘No I am not, I love you I don’t want to
live without you’

I rub my eyes I am so tired, ‘can we eat I
am weak with hunger’

He sighs calling the waiter and we order,
the waiter immediately brings over a bottle of wine and some olives and bread.

‘Have you eaten today?’ he enquires.

‘Breakfast, I have been so busy’ I pop an
olive into my mouth.

Grant hands me a glass of wine and I clink
his glass my eyes finding his ‘to us’ I murmur and he sips his wine his eyes
refusing to move from mine, ‘you know I love you’ I express.

‘Then why are you one foot in and one foot
out?’ he enquires gently.

‘I am not!’ I insist.

‘If there was no Amber and no potential
baby would you marry me?’

I regard him, ‘if there was no baby would
you be asking?

He frowns, ‘what the fuck does that mean?’

‘Nothing forget it’ I gulp my wine and pick
up some bread.

‘You think I only want you as a surrogate
mother for my baby?’ his face is fuming, ‘why the fuck would I do that Abi? I
could pay for a full time nanny I don’t require a mother figure! I want to
share my life with you!’

‘I’m sorry’ I murmur aware of our
surroundings ‘forget it!’ I have totally fucked this up.  The waiter appears
and places our food before us but neither of us attempt to eat.

‘Eat your food you are hungry’ he mumbles.

I move my hand to his thigh, ‘please don’t
be mad at me, I am struggling here I have all these feelings for you but I am
scared to release them in case the baby appears and you reject me to become
part of Amber’s perfect family’

He places his hand on mine ‘then you doubt
the depth of my feelings for you Abi’ he picks up his fork leaving his hand
over mine and begins to eat.  I follow suit using one hand only as we eat in
silence both of us brooding over our fallout.  Halfway through our meal Grant
removes his hand to cut up his steak and I lift mine to drink my wine.  I place
my fork down and sit back he glances over to me and places his cutlery down.

‘Marry me’ he insists ‘nothing to do with
Amber or the baby just marry me because you feel the same way I do?’

‘You know I do Grant, more so even’

‘Then prove it, let them all throw whatever
they want at us, babies, court cases whatever let it all bounce of us because
together we can cope.  If this baby isn’t mine then great! We will make our own
babies eventually, if it is then we will pull together and make for good part
time parents but we do it as one person. You have to have trust in us, we have
battled from day one Abi not the usual meeting of two people but despite it all
we are here and I adore you, I want to wake with you every morning and lay down
with you every night’

I wipe a tear away the emotion of the whole
thing too much for me to bare, he hands me a tissue and I wipe my eyes.

‘Think about it Abi but just know I love
you’

We leave the restaurant and Grant directs
me to his apartment.

‘I need to work tomorrow’ I remind him and
he nods.

‘I will make sure you get there I need you
beside me tonight’ I am too tired to argue about it so follow him to his
apartment, ‘tea?’ he asks.

‘Yes please’ I wander through to the
bedroom and undress moving under the shower washing this dreadful day away, I
shampoo my hair and soap all over surprised that Grant hasn’t joined me.  I
pull one of his t-shirts out and return to the living area brushing my wet hair
out.  He has removed his jacket and is on the breakfast bar with his laptop and
a mug of tea in front of him.

‘Better?’ he queries.

‘Tons thank you for dinner’ I tip my hair
upside down brushing out the tangles.

‘Come here’ he demands and I flick my hair
back behind me and move towards him.  He grasps the brush and turns me gently
brushing my long locks down my back ‘you have lovely hair’

‘I was going to get it cut’ I inform him.

‘No don’t I love it’ he instructs.

‘Ok’

‘Turn’ he calls and I turn back to face him
‘that’s better’ he grabs the t-shirt ends and pulls me in between his legs
wrapping his arms around my middle, I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my
arms around his neck.

‘Hmmmm’ I moan contentedly ‘now that feels
better’

He rubs up and down my back rhythmically
‘come on let’s get you to bed, bring your tea’ and he releases me ‘do you want
a hair dryer?’

‘Have you got one?’ I narrow my eyes at him
questioning why he would have a hairdryer and he grins.  I shake my head and
enquire ‘where is it stud?’

We walk into the bedroom and he opens one
of the drawers to his chest retrieving the item before handing it to me, he
pushes the door to the wardrobe and it opens into a dressing room which houses
a whole wall of mirror.

‘How did I not see this before?’ I utter in
surprise, I previously saw Grant remove items from the dresser but not the wardrobe. 
I enter into the area and plug in the dryer tipping my hair upside down sending
blasts of hot air through my long tresses.  When I return to the bedroom Grant
is in the shower so I remove my clothes and climb into bed laying my head on
the pillow, what a day!

The next thing I know it is pitch black and
I am surrounded by Grant, he is spooning me his legs wrapped around me and one
arm cupping my breast.  I sigh, we fit so well together should I take a leap of
faith in us? This thing with Amber am I over analyzing it?  I could walk away
and a couple of years’ time meet a guy who is divorced with children isn’t it
the same thing? Why does it feel different when the woman is pregnant?

I glance at the clock which signals 5.02am
I turn and Grant moves on to his back, he is so handsome and I am so in love
with him.  I move over and kiss him gently ‘yes’ I whisper into his mouth and
he turns his eyes half open as I nibble his bottom lip sucking and licking as
he groans awake.  He pulls me over to lay on top of him his tongue thrusting
into mine his hands over my backside moving down, his fingers skating over my
sex.  I groan and open my legs allowing him further access as he slips his
fingers gently over my folds.  My mouth is stuck to his licking and sucking as
he groans pushing me into his erection, I lift up and very slowly slide down
onto it and still.  I am panting into his mouth but neither of us is moving,
the fullness I feel is heaven my nipples tightening against his chest. My
insides are clenching at his solidness and I can remain still no longer I circle
him as he gasps against me his fingers move up and down my back side his finger
dipping into my back passage and I groan wildly at the fullness.  I move faster
as my insides are building and he moans loudly, ‘Abi’ he calls as I thrust down
onto him over and over until my insides release and I am bucking around him my
climax exploding. He grabs my hips and moves me until he thrusts once more and
pumps into me until he is empty.

I am laying on his chest panting as he is
gasping for breath, ‘well good morning Miss Stephens’ he pants.

‘Hi’ I smile against his chest.

‘Is there something you wish to tell me?’
his voice is still groggy from sleep.

‘You heard’ I whisper and he flips me over
so that he is hovering over me.

‘Well maybe I want to hear again’ he teases.

‘One time offer Mr Fitzgerald take it or
leave it’ I smile shyly up at him.

‘Do you have a proper office?’ I ask.

‘What do you mean a proper office? He
frowns.

‘Well do you go to an office block and sit
in a proper office or just in your apartment?’

‘No, I have a proper office’ he smiles.

‘Oh, why are you so secretive about your
business?’ I gaze over at him questioningly.

‘Am I?’ he appears amused.

‘Yes very much so’

‘Because I prefer to keep my business and
personal life very separate’ he admits.

‘Oh’ I can understand that isn’t that what
I do?

‘But as my fiancé you can see both sides’
he grins again and I smile shyly.

‘You are adorable when you smile that way’
he chuckles.

We pull up outside my place of work, we had
stopped off at my flat and I had changed rapidly before Grant’s driver drove us
to work.

‘See you tonight?’ he enquires ‘tomorrow I
am away for a couple of days in France’

‘Ok, I am not sure what time though’

‘Call or text me, have a lovely day’ he
leans down and kisses me briefly ‘I love you’

‘Love you too’ I am walking on air as I
glide into my office.

At 2pm Richard calls me into his office to
discuss one of our clients he wishes me to ‘Shmooze’ as he calls it.  The
specified client is in Ireland and he requires me to join a member of the
Digital team to fly over to Dublin and gather their requirements, they are a
relatively new company that are looking into online brochures for their
products and want to contract someone in rather than handle it in-house.

‘So, you and Jason will be flying out
Thursday back on Friday.  A little taster for you Abi no pressure just be there
to collect all the information and charm them, something that you are amazing
at’ he smiles ‘you may want to research the company a little beforehand.  Book
the flights and a hotel liaise with Jason to arrange the best times that fit
the pair of you’

‘Ok thank you for your faith Richard’

‘I have tons of faith in you Abi’ he nods
dismissing me.

I am excited, my first business trip!  And
quite a substantial pay increase too which I am excited about.  I text Grant,

Hi,

I can be available from 7?

Going on a little business trip myself
Thurs!

Love you x

My phone beeps a few minutes later,

Hey,

Well done I am a proud fiancé!

See you at 7 x

I smile to myself, things are slotting into
place thankfully.  I must catch up with Bella we have hardly spoken since
meeting our men despite the fact that they are friends.  Well one good thing,
we can enjoy a girlie evening tomorrow as I guess Mike will attend the trip
with Grant.  I send a text to Bella,

Hi,

You home tomorrow eve?

Fancy girlie eve? x

My phone pings a return message,

No soz, joining Mike on business trip
;-) x

What? I know I couldn’t go anyway but it
may have been nice to be asked, I frown before tucking my phone back in my desk
well that put a dampener on my mood!