All Mye Queen's Men, Chronicles of Love - Volume II (68 page)

“
Where is she now?  Give me my damn phone.  Let me call her ass and see what the fuck is up. She must have lost her fuckin mind.”  Teddy snatches his phone from Christian and attempts to call Queen.

“
Chill nigga.  Calm the fuck down!  Damn, we're just yanking your chain and shit.” Christian laughed as he returned Teddy’s phone to him.

“
Look man, the girls were just blowing off steam.  That shit is as harmless as a lap dance.” Dorian tried to assure him.

“
Oh really, cause I got pictures of a nigga with his face in your Brides milk duds and up her skirt.”  Teddy counters as he shows Dorian a picture of a stripper motor boating in between Jade's breast and another picture with a stripper licking her thighs.

“
Let me see that shit.  What the fuck is that bullshit about? Oh I can see that I’m going to have to fuck somebody up.” Christian and Teddy laugh as Dorian nearly runs off the road trying to get a good look at the pictures.

“
Hey, hey, hey!  Keep your eyes on the damn road nigga.  You gonna kill us all.” Christian laughed.

“
My bad man.  I shouldn't have shown you that shit while you were driving and shit.”  Teddy laughed. “So where are our little stray pussy cats anyway?”

“
Somewhere running around taking care of some last minute wedding shit.  Did you call Queen and let her know that you're here?” Dorian answered.

“
Nope.  She'll know I'm here when she sees me.  Hopefully your big mouth ass didn't tip her off.”

“
Yeah, about that.  Jade was with me when you called.  I told her not to say anything but you know how that shit goes.”

“
Oh I know exactly how that shit went.  I might as well call her ass right now.”  Teddy dials Queen's cell, but there is no answer.  He leaves a message. “Hello Mama Bear.  Papa Bear's home and he's looking for his honey.  Hit me back.”

“
Hey man pullover.  This soft, corn porn mother fucka just made me throw up in my mouth.” Christian teased.

“
Nigga stop hating.  Did you get this nigga some pussy like I told you to?”  Teddy laughs as he questions Dorian. 

Dorian
laughs as he looks in the rear view mirror at Christian to see his response to the question. “Oh yeah, he got some pussy alright.  Not only did he get some pussy.  This nigga rolled around in it all fuckin night like he owned it.  Told me that the pussy had him seeing rainbows and unicorns and fairies or some shit.”

“
That was the Ecstasy, mother fucka.  Anyway, nigga, you said that shit I didn't.” Christian corrected him.

“
Nigga, you implied it!”

“
Hold the fuck up!  Oh you got to back this shit up.  Start from the beginning.  This nigga took some E.”

“
And Viagra at the same fucking time.” Dorian laughed.

“
Nigga, you popped some E and V at the same fucking time?  What the fuck was you thinking and who the hell where you trying to fuck?”

“
I didn't do it intentionally.  The shit was an accident.  Stupid ass Jon and his band of flying monkeys thought that it would be funny to put some E and Viagra in a shot of Tequila and give it to this nigga.”

“
Ecstasy and Viagra at the same time?  Nigga!  I know you were hornier than the brass section of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra.”

“
This mother fucka's dick was so hard he couldn't even zip up his damn pants.”

“
What!  So get to the unicorns and shit.”

“
Let this nigga tell it.  Cause I ain't never had any pussy that took my ass on a trip to Fantasy Island like that.”

“
Fuck that shit.  Queen's shit has had me screaming, "The plane!  The plane!  The mother fucking plane!"  Like that Tattoo  bitch.  Shit, that's why I hula hooped through a Cheerio just to get here.  I was on the phone all damn day yesterday trying to get my ass to Baltimore.”

“
Oh Yeah?  I bet that shit is so good it has your ass speaking in tongues and shit.”  Dorian jokes as he checks Christian's reflection in the rear view mirror. 

Teddy
laughs. “Well, I have been known to catch the Holy Ghost every now and then.” 

Christian
ignores Dorian's digs and continues the story. “So anyway, these niggas give this shit to my boy, who already had way too much to drink.  So I asked that fool Jon what was in it.  The nigga just said it's a shot of Tequila.  So I downed it and told him that this nigga is drunk enough.  So then Jon's bitch ass tells me what they had done.  I wanted to knock his porch monkey ass out.  He could have at least tried to stop me.”

“
Yeah, but now this nigga talking about sending Jon a fucking fruit basket or some shit cause he tapped the best pussy he ever had in his life.  This nigga told me that God made this pussy with his dick in mind.” Dorian added.

“
Damn, this mother fucka already sprung and shit?  Nigga are you sprung?  Seriously?  Who's this chick?”

“
Some girl from the party and shit.” Dorian nonchalantly replies.

“
She's a pro from the bachelor party?” Teddy asked shocked. “Please don’t tell me she’s a stripper. Nigga, you got turned out by a stripper?”

“
No Nigga.  She is not a stripper, she's a woman I hooked up with at the after party in the Penthouse. You know me better than that.”

“
She's not a stripper hoe she's a lady.  In fact she's a queen.”  Dorian adds as she checks the mirror for Christian's response. 

Christian
flashes Dorian a dirty look and mouths, “Shut the fuck up!”

“
I know you must have worn her ass the fuck out, as horny as your ass was.  How many times did you hit that shit?”

“
Nigga, I don't even know?  I wasn't counting.  She worked with it as long as it was hard, which was about three or four hours and shit.  Then finally we both fell asleep.”

“
She's coming to the wedding right?” Teddy asked intrigued. “Cause I got to meet the woman that's got your ass strung out after one night.”

“
Oh hell no!  Yeah, she's coming but not with me.”

“
Who brings a damn date to a wedding?  Nigga that's like taking sand to the fucking beach.” Dorian laughed.

“
True that… I'm going stag.  Besides that was just a onetime thing and shit.  She's involved with some hard head.”

“
She can't be too damn involved.  She let your big dick ass demolish her shit for four hours.  All I know is that there's going to be a mad mother fucka when he rolls back in that shit.” Teddy and Dorian laugh.

“
He's gonna be as mad as a son of a bitch.”  Dorian joked as he watched Christian squirm in his seat.

“
What about this nigga?  Did he behave?” Teddy pointed to Dorian.

“
Yeah, What about you, Mr. Nigga?  Did you behave?”  Christian teased Dorian.

“
Why I got to be Mr. Nigga?  Hey, I'm going to plead the Fifth like this bitch.”  Dorian points back to Christian. “A gentleman never tells.” 

Teddy
laughs. “Nigga, you ain't a gentleman, so do tell.”

“
Ask this fool where he disappeared to when I went out to take a call from the hospital.”

“
Oh I don't have to ask.  This nigga always finds a way to get ghost.   Every single time we go to a titty bar, this nigga disappears and reappears with a big old grin.  You're looking for this fool and he's in a private room somewhere, getting his dick wet.”

“
Look, I came back and this nigga is gone.  So I asked those sea monkeys, he calls groomsmen where he went and they just started laughing.”

“
Hey! I just needed to exercise the last ounce of freedom life and my future wife have afforded me as a single man.”

“
Nigga it ain't like you're going to jail and shit.” Christian promptly interjected.

“
Oh yes it is.  This nigga is about to enter into pussy jail and one woman hell.”  Teddy laughed.

“
Actually I didn’t really do anything.”

“
Yeah, right. I know you Mr. Nigga and you know I know you!” Teddy laughed.

“
Seriously, all I did was look. She wanted to show me a little more than she was willing to expose out there. I swear I never touched her. I cheated on Jade once and I can’t get the look on her face out of my mind. That shit hurt her bad. I thought I was going to lose her over some bullshit. After that I vowed never o cheat on her again. She deserves better than that.” Dorian confessed.

“
I heard that.” Christian acknowledged, cutting his eye over at Teddy who stared blankly out the passenger window. 

“
What about you Super Nigga?  Queen got your ass dangling on a short leash.” Dorian teased.

“
Shit!  It ain't as short as she thinks.”  Teddy laughs.

“
Short enough that your ass took a private jet here because you thought some nigga was scratching that Kat.” Christian countered.

“
True that, nigga.”Dorian agreed.

“
Yeah I guess you're right.  That fat ass of hers is more than enough to make a nigga straighten up and fly right, at any cost.  I just don't know if I can be that nigga.”

“
Do you love her?” Christian asked.

“
With all I am and all that I’ll ever be.”

“
Then stop fuckin around on her.  Do like Dorian. Make her your wife before somebody else does.”

“
You'd better listen to him, man.  He knows exactly what he's talking about.” Dorian chimed in.

“
It's not that simple.  I've asked, but she just ain't buying.”

“
Stop peddling bullshit for love and maybe she will.” Christian advised.

“
I'm trying big brother.  Believe me I'm trying.” Teddy conceded.

Queen
softly knocks on the Penthouse door.  Expecting her over thirty minutes ago Jade hurries to open the door.

“
What took you so long?  And what the fuck happened to your hair?”

“
Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.”

“
Bitch, don't you know how to fuck pretty?  Oh yeah, it has been a while since Pussyville has had a gentlemen caller.”  Jade jokes. 

Queen
flashes her the finger as she drags her bags into the foyer and drops them there. “You got any coffee?”

“
What?  Do I have any coffee?  Bitch didn't Chris tell you that Teddy just landed at BWI?”

“
So! What? Does he have any coffee?”

“
So, I think you need to move your ass.  Get in the shower.  Wash your crack.  And fix that damn birds nest you call hair before he gets here.”

Queen
stumbles into the kitchen yawning and begins to fix a small pot of coffee.

“
Heifer!  Have you lost your damn mind?  Why are you dragging around here acting like you got all fuckin day?  And what took your ass so long to get up here?” 

Queen
yawns and gets a big stretch. “Again, don't ask questions that you already know the answer to.”

“
You fucked him again, after you knew that Teddy was in town.  Didn't you?”

“
It was a hard job but somebody had to fuck and do it.”  Queen snickered as she got a cup from the marble counter top and prepared it for her coffee.

“
Scandalous ass trick!  You think this shit is funny don't you?  Queen!  What the fuck is up?  How can you be so calm?”

“
What bitch?  What?  Teddy's in town.  So, what?  My days of doing back flips and loop to loops for that dog is so over. Fuck that and fuck him! I must have lost my fucking mind. I'm tired of being another Red Sonya.”

“
Who the hell are you and where is Mye Queen?  What the fuck did Chris do to you last night?”

“
What didn't he do to me last night?  That man played my body like a fine violin.  I've never come so hard or so many times in my life.  That man is not just a gentlemen caller, he is the damn Mayor of Pussyville.”  Queen declared as she pours a cup of coffee from the still brewing pot.

“
Is that right?” Jade sarcastically asks.

“
Yes, that's right.”

“
That may be true, but the last time I checked Teddy was still President of the United States of Queen.  Hey, but fuck it!  If you are not pressed about Teddy showing up then neither am I. So, go ahead and kick the 411 bitch.  I need details.”

“
I don't even know where to start.  I never knew that a man's touch could make me feel like that.  I know he was on E and shit but he just was so sensitive and sensual and so fucking giving.  Did you know that the G spot is not just a myth?”

“
He hit the G?”

“
He hit the G with the D and I was as hot and happy as could be.”  They laugh.

“
So, how giving was he?  Exactly how many times did you get on and get off?”

“
Who the fuck knows and who cares.  We screwed all over the entire Bridal Suite.”

“
So, you just Christened every room?  No pun intended.” Jade jokes.

“
You're stupid as shit.  Yes, we Christened the Bridal Suite-  room after room, after room.  But the best was making love in front of that gigantic picture window with a panoramic view of the Inner Harbor as a back drop.  That shit was erotic as hell.” Queen sighs as she reminisces.

“
You fucked him in front of that fifty foot glass window?  Your shy ass?”

“
No, we made love on the glass of that big ass window.  That brutha had your girl singing opera on that glass.  First Soprano in fact and you know I’m an alto.”

“
Damn!  The shit was like that?”

“
And that’s the way it is. Huh!” Queen laughed.

“
So, I hate to bust your bubble, but now what?”

“
What do you mean, now what?” Queen asked as she casually sipped her coffee.

“
The plan was to get Chris through the night.  And for you to get on, get off and get along with your relationship with Teddy.  But you’re talking like this is the best fuck you ever had and shit.  And you know Chris is not about to go back to that pussyless hell you had him in.  So now what?”

“
No the plan was to get on and get off and get on with my life with some other nigga. Christian is a totally different story. I waited a long time to get a taste of that dick. So, a sista's thinking that it might be prudent to have a spare dick around for hard times.”

“
Yeah, that might be what a sista’s thinking, but...” Jade hesitates and chooses her words carefully. “Look Queen, I hate to be the voice of reason, but you have to know that this shit ain't going to work, at all.  Well, at least not like you want it to.”

“
What are you talking about?”

“
Christian's Teddy's straight up boy,  and you know for a fact that they are both in love with you.  I don't think he's going to be down for some behind the back, sneaky down low shit.  Besides, Teddy ain't stupid.  It'd be just a matter of time before he'd figure out what the two of you were up to.  Trust me, punishment will be swift and extremely painful.”

“
So, I'm supposed to just forget that last night ever happened and go back to getting fucked once a month if I'm lucky, by a nigga that fucks everything with a pussy?  Oh, fuck that shit! That’s not going to happen!”

“
I don't know what to tell you Queen.  It is what it is.”

“
Fucked up is what it is.  So, you're saying that Christian's not going to want to be with me again?” Queen asked, genuinely confused.

“
Queen, of course he will.  He's always wanted to be with you.  I'm just saying he's not going to be content to be your boy toy.  Not, to mention lose his best friend in the process.  If you want to be with him you'll have to make a choice, between him and Teddy.”

“
Jade, I'll admit that the dick was delicious, but I just can't do that right now.  I'm feeling Christian in a big way, but Bear and I have this thing between us and I don't even know where to begin to unravel that shit and call it to an end. Hell, I couldn't do it for Logic, so I'm not even going to pretend that I'm ready to do this for Christian. Well, at least not right now, that is. Besides I think Bear is finally ready to get serious about us.”

“
Maybe so Queen, but the real truth of the matter is that you're still out there fucking around, exploring other options as well. Which brings us to our next dilemma I hate to be the messenger of doom and gloom, but I got to tell you something else.”

“
What now? Haven’t you said enough?”

“
I kind of informally invited Chocolate Thunder Down Under to the wedding.”

“
Who?”

“
Chocolate Thunder Down Under, your stripper friend from the party last night.”

“
Derrick?  You invited Derrick to the fucking wedding?  What the hell did you do that for?”

“
Queen, I'm so sorry.  I thought you guys were hitting it off and I never thought that Teddy would show.  And how could I have possibly known that you were going to finally hook up with Christian.  I just didn't want to see you having a shitty time.  I wanted you to have a good time and finally get some tonight.”

“
So, let me get this shit straight.  I have two nigga's standing around looking at me like I'm a pussy sandwich and the One Hundred Million Dollar Man is in town to watch the show.” Queen shakes her head in disbelief. “Unfucking believable! You’ve really out done yourself this time Queen.  Okay, it's official, I've died and this is hell.  I am so fuckin screwed.”

“
At least you won't be horny and alone.”

“
Fuck you Jade!  Fuck you!” Queen retorted as she gives Jade the finger.

“
And speaking of fucking...  Teddy is expecting to get fucked, but good, by you, today, the moment he sees you.  So I suggest you start putting on your game face.”

“
I don't have to pretend to want him because I do.  Ain't shit changed there.  The problem is I never thought that I'd spend the night with Christian. We were looking forward to being together tonight. He's going to be so upset when he sees me with Bear.”

“
You want to know my take on your situation?  As I see it, you can get some really good dick and be a rich bitch, or you can get some really good dick and work every day like a slave just to pay the damn bills.”

“
So what are you trying to say?”

“
Bury this shit with Christian.  You don't throw all of this away for a good fuck.”

“
Jade, you know he's more than just a good fuck.  Over the pass months he's become a really good friend.  I can trust him.  I can't trust Bear.  And that's worth more to me than a billion dollars.”

“
But yet, you can't leave Teddy alone.  You've gone back to Teddy's bullshit time and time again.  This shit with Teddy has been going on forever.  Hell it was going on before Paul was killed.  You know it and I know it.  Besides, do you really want to make Christian your rebound guy?  You'll only end up running back to Teddy or fucking around with Logic and breaking Christian's heart in the process.”

“
He wouldn't be my rebound guy.  I think this man is really in love with me.  And I'm feeling him too.”

“
You're right, he probably is, and in fact I know he is.  But you are still by no means, done with Teddy.  I know you Queen.  The very second you see that flashy, cocky ass, flamboyant nigga you're going to melt like butter and forget that Christian is even on the planet.”

“
Normally I would say that you're right.  But this time it's different.  Not to say that I'm not going to melt, but I'll be looking for Christian's reaction when I do. Jade I care about Christian. Hell I may even be in love with him, but I can’t get pass Teddy to find out.”

“
All I'm saying is that Christian’s a good man.  Don't fuck with head while you wrestle with this thing with Teddy.  You got too much shit going on right now Queen. Don't commit to a relationship with this man until you are really ready. He deserves more than that Queen.”

“
Jade, you know me better than that.  I would never intentionally hurt Christian or anyone else. I’m going to be straight with him.”

“
No, I’m sure you have no intentions of hurting him, but he'll still be hurt nonetheless.  You two need to talk.  You need to know where his head is before you see Teddy.  Cause if he's really in love with you and you're falling in love with him then some shit might kick off at the wedding.  And you three bitches ain't about to ruin my wedding. I've worked too hard to make it perfect.”

“
And how am I supposed to talk to him without raising a big red flag?  He's with Bear right now.”

“
I don't know, but you better figure something out.”

“
Oh, I know!” Queen picks up the Penthouse phone and calls Christian's cell phone. 

Christian
answers. “Dr. Love can I help you?”

“
Christian it's Queen.  Can you talk?”

“
No not really.  I'm on my way to breakfast with some friends.  What's going on? Is everything okay?” He nonchalantly replies.

“
I need to talk to you.”

“
I think that's probably a good idea.  What do you want to do?”

“
After breakfast tell Dorian to drop you off at the hospital.  I'll meet you there.”

“
Sounds good.  I'll call you when I’m in route.” 

Queen
hangs up dazed and confused. Jade could see the anxiety in her face. “So what's up?  Why the face?”

“
I don't know.  I don't have a damn clue what I'm going to say to him.  Matter of fact I don't even know what I want to say.  This shit is fucked up on every possible level.”

“
Then leave the ball in his court.  Let him have his say first.  Then take it from there. Don’t put yourself out there if he’s not going there with you. This isn’t easy for him either. I’m sure seeing Teddy after fucking you all night has him a little rattled. He may have had a change of heart and is not willing to pursue this shit any further.”

“
Why is this so damn hard?”

“
Probably because he was.”  Jade laughed.

“
It's more than the sex. The sex just made it perfect. This has been going on for a while. I just didn’t want to deal with it.”