All My Heart (Count On Me Book 4) (5 page)

Dillon
can say it was a game. That it was all leading up to what happened at homecoming, but I’m not sure I’ll ever believe it. I saw something in him then and I’m glad I was right.

It also helps that he’s dating Cadence. If he ever tried going back to the way he was, she’d stop it. It’s one of the things I like most about her. She may be deaf, but she doesn’t let it stop her. She’s tough and I admire that. I’m even a little jealous of it.

If I’d been like her, maybe the stuff I went through with Amy wouldn’t have happened. But then, I also wouldn’t have Kayden either. So maybe being the way I am isn’t so bad.

I just hope doing all of this does what I wan
t it to and Kayden enjoys himself. Us being apart, doing things separately isn’t supposed to be a bad thing. We’re both working toward what we want to do with our lives in the future. The one we’re going to share together if the way we feel means anything.

Kayden shouldn’t shut himself off from that, because if he does, I’m afraid there won
’t be much of a future at all. For him or for us.

Chapter Five

Kayden

“Yo Dill! My phone’s dead. Can I use yours?”

True to my words earlier in the night, I left the party not even an hour after I got there. The surprising thing was that Dillon, who normally stays all night actually left with me.

Back in our room, trying to get the stench of old cigarettes and booze off me, I sling my shirt halfway across the room. I’m half tempted to light it on fire just to rid myself of the night. Hearing him mumble off his acceptance as he turns and leaves the room, I reach over and grab it off the desk.

When I left earlier, my battery was already past the halfway point, well on its way to ultimate death, so seeing the black screen the minute I got into the room wasn’t a surprise. Thing is, not even a dead battery is gonna stop me from texting my girl, even knowing that she’s probably still out with Eric and wouldn’t get it until later.

Pulling up the messaging screen, I slide through the contacts until my finger lands on hers. It’s a deal me and Dillon made when we came out here. We’d both keep our girlfriends numbers handy just in case something like what happened tonight occurred. Laying my finger down heavily on the screen, it loads up the message box, but instead of a blank screen the way I’m expecting, there’s actual messages.

What the hell does Dillon have to talk to Belle about?

Scrolling up to the beginning of the message box, it doesn’t take me very long to find out.

He’s coming to the party.

Okay good. Thank you.

Don’t thank me. If Kayden wants to survive being here, especially with these guys, he needs this. So thank you.

Take care of him
please.

Always. Tell Carmen I said hey.

Belle, the girl I haven’t been able to get out of my head one second since I landed in Toronto weeks ago, has been talking to Dillon about me. Not just about me either, but about how I’m acting since I got here.

What the fuck is this?

There’s nothing here that’s bad and even if there was something that seemed wrong, I know Dillon wouldn’t dare screw up what he’s got with Cadence, but it still pisses me off. 

Since when does she go to him?

Screw this. I’m not gonna sit here wondering and let it eat me alive. That would have been my way before, but things are different now. I’m different. If I wanna know what the fuck is going on here, I’m going right to the source.

I’m home. I’m safe.
I miss u. Please text me when u get this. – Kayden <3

Once the message is sent, even though it’s not what I want to say, I turn toward where Di
llon is making his way back in, more than a little ready to get this out. I can already feel the anger rising, something that hasn’t happened since I dealt with Tim senior year when he screwed with Eric.

“You
text her?” he asks and I nod.

“When were you gonna tell me that the two of you have been talking behind my back?”

Way to go Kayden, get confrontational off the jump.

“When it mattered.”

“It matters now. You wanna explain what the fuck you’re doing texting my girlfriend?”

Dillon’s not the same guy anymore. I know this. Hell, I’m half the reason he’s not, but right now, all I can see is that same douchebag and it’s making my blood boil.

It’s like homecoming all over again and he’s hitting on my girl right in front of me.

“Dude, you’re making this more than it is.”

“Then clear it up for me.”

“She texted me earlier, said she talked to Cadence and felt like something was off with you. I deleted it otherwise you’d see it for yourself. I told her the way you’ve been since you got here and she asked me to help.”

“I don’t need help.”

“Says you. Look man, I wasn’t gonna say shit because I know how you are, but you and Belle, what you’ve got; the distance or whatever, it’s messing with you and not in a good way.”

He has no idea what the hell he’s talking about. I’m absolutely fine. I get to go home every weekend and see my girl. It’s not the best situation but it’s better than being even further apart and never getting to see her at all. I’m doing exactly what I want to do.

“My relationship is none of your business.”

“Belle doesn’t feel the same way. She came to me and I know you hate it, but we’re friends now. I care about her. I get the feeling that worrying about you took her mind off her own shit. You know, the stuff you told me about. The stuff you say isn’t any of my business.”

He’s got me there. I brought him into this by mentioning how she was handling the transition of starting college. I might think it’s none of his business, but bringing him in, it makes it that way.

I’m a fucking idiot.

“Was that all of it?”

“Yeah, other than the message telling me things felt off with you.”

Last year, I wouldn’t have believed him. This guy, he was my best friend at one point but also one of the biggest snakes alive. He could lie straight to your face and you’d believe it was the truth because he’s smooth. If there was ever a competition for best liar, Dillon would have won by a landslide.

I do hate the fact that he’s friends with Belle now. Even though we’re all friends again, I’m still on shakier ground than everyone else. I think Eric might be the only other person that is still unsure about him. Belle though, she’s nowhere near the same even though history should make her worse than all of us.

She genuinely believes in him and likes him.

My girlfriend has the biggest heart in the world. Especially when it comes to assholes like me and Dillon. Another reason I love her so damn much.

“So, we cool or
are you gonna rip my head off? If I’m goin’ back to Wexfield headless, I need to warn Caddy.”

Despite how serious things were a second ago, his obvious attempt at a joke weakens the stranglehold my anger has on me and I laugh. I’m losing my shit over nothing. Of course there’s nothing going on here. Belle doesn’t operate that way.

I’m being a complete jackass. Story of my life.

“Nah, we’re cool. Sorry. It’s just been a long night.”

“Yeah and missing your girl doesn’t help.” He answers automatically and I nod. “I get it, man. A year ago, this would have been hilarious. Material for me to use or whatever.  But if this was me and Caddy, I’d be the same way.”

We don’t talk about our relationships much. We’re both head over heels in love with thes
e amazing girls and not used to being allowed to have something that good happen to us, we’re quiet about it. It’s like keeping it to ourselves, we’re somehow keeping it safe.

Not to mention, we’re guys, even if we are wh
ipped.  The last thing we’re gonna do is sit down over tea and have a conversation about how in love we are.

We can be whipped. We don’t have to be pathetic too.

“You and Caddy, everything alright there?”

So much for not being pathetic.

“Yeah. I still don’t get what the hell she sees in me and most days I figure she’s gonna wake up and realize she made a mistake, but we’re good.”

“How’s she handling the mom drama?”

He rolls his eyes and I laugh. He doesn’t need to say any more. Dillon’s mom is a mess, probably even more than he was a year ago, so the shit she’s been starting up since the two of them got together, it’s not surprising that’s his response.

“Being here, I don’t gotta deal with it anymore. Rebecca can deal with her stupidity on her own. Keep her head in the sand about my dad the way she has been. I could care less. The only way it sucks is when she does stupid shit in public when she sees Cadence and her mom.”

“What did she do now?”

“Rambled off some shit about Cadence stealing her son away from her. Being the devil in a dress or something. I don’t know. It’s the fucking pills.”

Hearing the way Dillon talks about his mom, it makes me thankful mine took off when she did. I know the shit it caused, especially leaving me with Dean and the mess that became, but knowing the way she used to talk about us turning into our dad, I’m afraid that if she was back, she’d be just as bad as Dillon’s mom.

She may
have loved Isabelle when she used to bring me over to their house, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t flip the script around now.

“What did Caddy do?”

Cadence is a freaking badass and the only girl on the planet that’s got the balls to deal with Dillon. No one before her could ever get through the steel that he wrapped his head in. It’s because of her and the wakeup call she managed to give him that we can even stand here in the same room together.

“You know her, what do you think she did?”

“Slap her?”

Dillon shakes his head but he’s grinning, which means that her doing that was his original reaction too.

“No. Told her off though. From what Sarah says, it was pretty fun to watch.”

“No doubt.”

“Kay,” he says, the humor gone and his tone serious again. “If it bothers you, me talking to Belle, I won’t do it again. I just have a long way to go making up for the shit I did and I thought helping her would do it.”

“It’s cool, just next time don’t hide it from me. There’s been enough fucking secrets.”

With his nod the conversation is dropped. He sits down in front of the laptop and loads up some video game and I throw myself down on the bed, more than ready to close my eyes and forget about my overreaction.

It’s only when I feel the phone land on the bed and turn to see a smirk on Dillon’s face that I realize forgetting isn’t going to be as easy as I want it to be. I still had one other person I needed to talk to. The very person texting back now.

Is everything okay?

Time to tell my girlfriend what a complete idiot I am.

Fantastic.

Belle

I saw the text the minute it came up on my phone, but because I try to follow the rules when we’re in the theatre, I didn’t jump to answer it right away. It also doesn’t help that the text is coming from Dillon’s phone.

Kayden let his die.
Again.

Yeah. Everything’s fine. Just overreacted to something I read.

Standing from my seat even though the movie isn’t even half over, I slide my way out until I’m out in the hallway and can give him the attention he deserves.

Kayden
overreacting to something he read, I don’t know what he could mean. He was supposed to be going to a party. I can’t see him doing much reading there, but I’m not gonna wait around to find out.

Pushing the call button, I wait impatiently until he finally picks up. Hi
s voice is worn and tired yet still manages to make my heart melt.

“Kay, what did you read?”

“Texts. It was stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

Not worrying about it, he reminds me of Eric. Even with as long as he’s been with me, Kayden still doesn’t get how I am. How most people are. Telling someone not to think about it is like flashing a big neon sign telling them to do exactly that. It nev
er works the way you want it to and this time is no different.

“Kay…tell me.”

“Your texts with Dillon. I read them and it set me off.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I told you. I overreacted.”

“No, you didn’t. I should have told you I was texting him, but when I was worried about you the other day, you kept telling me
nothing was wrong. I didn’t know what else to do.”

It’s the truth.
He’s been doing that since we got together, but it’s more pronounced now. He doesn’t want to focus on how he feels because he sees it as unimportant and to me it’s very important. He’s the most important person in my life aside from my mom and Tristan. I’m gonna worry about him even if he doesn’t want me to.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m the one that took it wrong. You’re worrying and I love you for that, I just—”

He cuts off and just the way it does every other time it happens, my heart stills and my mind jumps into overdrive. I hate when people don’t finish their thoughts. It makes me worry even more.

“You just what?”

“I never expected Dillon to be the one you reached out to.”

“Stranger things have happened.”

My mind settles the minute I hear his laugh. If he was bothered by what he read the way he says, it’s obvious now that he’s telling the truth and he’s fine. The last thing I want is Kayden upset over something I did.

He knew I was worried about him. I didn’t hide tha
t, but not mentioning going to Dillon for help, I can see it being a problem. Kayden and Dillon are still on shaky ground even if they are roommates. Keeping that from him is only going to make that shakiness completely crack.

“No more parties, Belle. I know you want me to get out and you’re worried about me, but I can’t pretend to
be someone I’m not.”