All I Want Series Boxset, Books 1-3: All I Want for Christmas, All I Want for Valentine's, All I Want for Spring (38 page)

Tori searched for some words to say, but there was nothing forming on her mouth. The only thing she could taste was fear, and it was coating her tongue, her teeth, her everything. Gamble the house? Were they the house? Was Holly really questioning their relationship and whether or not she’d considered kissing Cara? If she was, she was misguided.

Tori was in this for the long haul.
All in
. And she’d thought Holly was, too.

Until Rome happened.

She needed to tell her, needed to calm this situation down. Tori wasn’t used to this — Holly was normally the calm, rational one, but holidays brought out a fraught doppelganger. However, relationships were all about give and take, and this was Tori’s time to step up and take the reins. She was more than willing if it meant calming Holly down.

“Babe,” Tori began, trying to assemble her thoughts and piece her jigsaw of emotions back together. “First things first: I was
not
flirting with Cara. She came and sat next to me, then before I knew it, she was propositioning me. That’s all.” She stared at Holly, but her face was still cast in stone.

Behind them, a car drove by with all its windows down, a bassline thumping from it so heavily, the ground shook as it went by. Tori shivered as it created a gust of wind.

“Plus, I would never do anything like that to you. This is not just a casual hook-up: we belong together. I could never walk away from this even if I tried. And I can’t believe I’m pouring my heart out to you, on a pavement in Rome.” Tori sighed, the hour pushing down on her. “And you have to know, I would never want to invite anybody else in to share you. You’re mine — and that’s the end of it. You got that?” A tear spilled out, tracking its way down Tori’s cheek, weighted with the emotion of the day. She wiped it away and sniffed before she spoke again. “A million Caras could throw themselves at us, and they’d all receive the same advice. Jog on.”

Holly was still grinding her teeth, but her face softened. “Jog on?”

Tori nodded. “And I might kick them up the arse for good measure.” She sniffed again, and snot fell down her throat. She swallowed, wincing. “As for the other thing — bad stuff does
not
happen to you when you’re abroad. You have to stop thinking that, or else you’ll go crazy.” Tori reached up and stroked Holly’s cheek, her emotions coming to the boil. “You’re it, babe. You’re the one. Don’t you know that yet?”

A slow smile crossed Holly’s features. “The one?” She said it like she couldn’t believe it. As if Tori had just told her that unicorns existed and she’d bought her one for her birthday. “I’m the one?”

Tori nodded. “You’re the one,” she said, drawing Holly down for a kiss. She sunk into it, clinging to Holly, hoping she was telling her everything she needed to know. Because Holly needed to know she was all in. This was it. They were it.
She was it.

When Tori pulled back, she was surprised to see they were still standing on a Roman pavement. This had been a very long night and they weren’t even home. Tori let out a long breath, before wrapping her arms around Holly, pressing her head into her chest.

Holly responded by wrapping her arms around Tori too. They stood like that for some seconds, Tori listening to Holly’s rapid heartbeat, soothed by her warm body and familiar smell.

Two men walked by, chattering in Italian, one walking past them on the left, one on the right.

Tori and Holly didn’t break their hold, an immovable statue.

Behind them, a car drove by and a male voice shouted: “Lesbiche del cazzo!”

Tori lifted her head. “Do you think that means, ‘welcome to Rome’?”

Holly spluttered. “Totally.” She paused, kissing the top of Tori’s head. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of tonight. Shall we go home?”

Tori unwound herself from Holly and nodded her head. “Let’s. I feel a bit… soiled. Like that woman in
50 Shades Of Grey
, but without the helicopter or the iPad.” Tori raised a half-smile. “You’re not angry with me?”

Holly shook her head. “I’ll get over it. Besides, I can’t be too angry when you just told me I’m the one, can I?”

Tori shook her head, relief pulsing through her being. Everything was going to be okay. Her world was not about to fall apart. Her stars were still aligned even if they’d been temporarily swallowed up by the gloom. 

“One thing though — can we get a cab? I don’t want to get lost and have an argument about that, too. I couldn’t take it.”

Tori nodded her head, looking up the road to where a cab was coming towards them. She stuck a hand out and it pulled in.

“Your wish is my command,” she said.

CHAPTER 6

Saturday

“How is it out here?” Tori poked her head out of the lounge door.

Holly was relaxing on the balcony, drinking a coffee and taking advantage of the flat’s Wi-Fi, catching up on the world via her phone.

Sitting there this morning had been idyllic, looking out over the rooftops of Rome as it slowly came to life. It was now just gone 10.30am and the hustle from the streets below was tangible, with shouts and laughter as empty bottles clinked and deliveries were made. Friday was done, but Saturday was gearing up to be better.

“Very Roman,” Holly said, putting her phone on the table. “But soothing, too. If I sit here long enough, I might be lulled into a false sense of security that Rome isn’t out to get me.”

Tori walked over and kissed her briefly on the lips, before leaning on the balcony wall and taking in the scene of morning rooftops and floating dreams.

“I bet this view would never get old,” Tori said, not turning her head. “We’re so lucky to have found this place.”

“Hmmm.” Holly picked up her phone again.

Eventually, Tori pushed herself off the balcony wall and turned round.

“And Rome isn’t out to get you, by the way.”

“That’s a matter of opinion.”

Tori shook her head with a smile. “There enough coffee in the pot for me?”

Holly didn’t look up. “Should be.”

Two minutes later, Tori sat down, giving Holly another kiss as she did.

The connection of their lips lifted Holly, and she raised her head. She’d woken up more chipper this morning, but somehow, seeing Tori, last night rankled again. She was going to have to be cool about it if she wanted today to go well. And she really
did
want today to go well.

Tori eyed her girlfriend warily. “I’m sorry about last night.”

Holly shook her head. “No need.” Last night was over, dealt with. Well, nearly. Its scent still lingered on Holly’s clothes, in her hair. They’d had a meltdown, but they’d pulled it back. The last thing Holly wanted was to pollute today when it still had promise.

No, Holly didn’t want their fight to bleed into today, so she was ready to forgive and forget. It wasn’t difficult with Tori: it just happened. And here’s where Holly was beginning to see a difference between her other relationships and theirs. In times past, when stuff like this had happened, she’d held onto her feelings about the other person, ruminated on them. With other girlfriends, she’d have dragged out the argument, given them the silent treatment.

But with Tori? She didn’t want to do that. She wanted to see her smile, hear her laugh. She wanted to make everything right. She wanted to wrap her arms around her like she had last night, and kiss her in a way that made sure Tori never questioned what they had ever again.

“We worked most of it out last night, and today’s a new day.” There was no point telling Tori about the sense of doom still pervading her brain. Tori had made it clear this was Holly’s shit, and she was right. Holly was going to do her best to shake it off and get on with the here and now. And that’s exactly what she intended to do. 

“The main thing today is to relax, no drama. You with me?”

Tori took a sip of her coffee and nodded. “One hundred per cent.”

Tori wasn’t wearing much, just a thin green T-shirt that accentuated her rounded breasts, and some pyjama shorts that showed off her smooth legs.

Holly was a fan of Tori’s morning attire, or lack of it. As she raked her gaze over her girlfriend, a familiar rush started in the pit of her stomach, spreading slowly through her body.

Holly wanted Tori this morning.

She needed to make sure Tori understood what she meant to her.

The urge was almost overwhelming.

Below them, there was a crunch of metal on metal, then an animated argument began in Italian.

Tori got up and peered over the balcony.

“Oooh, car versus scooter. Car won.” She went to sit back down, but then thought better of it. Instead, Tori walked over to Holly and sat in her lap, running a hand up the back of her neck.

Holly shivered, even in the morning sunshine. The touch of Tori’s fingers on her neck always did something to her. Something that she wanted done over and over again.

“You sure we’re okay?” Tori asked, stroking her hand up and down Holly’s neck again. Tori knew exactly what she was doing. “I don’t want there to be anything weird today. I just want a beautiful day in Rome — I think we both deserve that.”

Holly’s body was responding, her desire rising to the surface, desperate to get out.

“That’s all I want too,” she whispered. 

Tori seemed satisfied with that answer, looking deep into Holly’s eyes before leaning down and kissing her lips. There was a need in Tori’s penetrating gaze that Holly acknowledged: she found it equal parts exhilarating and nerve-wracking. Holly had seen that look in Tori’s eyes before, and she knew full well what it meant. 

She responded by deepening their kiss, pulling Tori towards her, her fingers getting tangled in her girlfriend’s maple-brown hair. Her blood rushed in her veins as they fused together, lips locked, merging into one.

Holly pushed down into the chair, but it wasn’t the friction she wanted: she wanted Tori’s heat, Tori’s body, Tori’s weight. She wanted to get lost in Tori, drown in her. She wanted to erase yesterday and go back to the beginning: without the Vatican, the argument, the bar, Cara. She wanted to concentrate on Tori, her wet mouth, her intense eyes. Yesterday was old news. Holly was all about today.

“You want to go inside?” Her voice was so low, it was catching on the floor.

Tori barely nodded: she just got up, dragging Holly with her, her pull on her hand insistent.

Holly followed into the living room, with all of the mirrors, and it was just what Holly needed: innumerable Toris following her around, stabbing her with her eyes, wanting her with her mouth.

Tori pushed Holly down on the sofa and straddled her, ripping off her T-shirt in one swift move. Tori’s breasts sat at Holly’s eye level: she reached out a thumb and grazed Tori’s left nipple, then her right. They were rock hard. Holly leaned forward and took one in her mouth. It tasted sweet, it tasted of Tori. She swirled her tongue around it and nipped it with her teeth. Tori bucked and pressed her breast into Holly’s face.

Holly couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t complaining, though: she wanted all of Tori, and she’d got her wish.

Tori leaned back, rolling her neck in a one-woman show just for Holly, her shoulder-length hair swaying as she did. Then she brought her eyes level with Holly, and Holly saw unmistakable desire glittering in their sharp blue depths.

Tori’s lust, layered on top of her own, took up all the space in her brain, leaving room for nothing else. Tori and her were all there was right now. This room, their bodies, this moment. Tori on top of her, in her face, in her ear. That’s where Tori’s mouth was right now, blowing right into her ear drum.

Holly closed her eyes, feeling herself gush with just that hot breath. This was the Rome she’d imagined, not the discarded gin on prickly cobbles.

Tori licked round her ear before she spoke. “I want you to fuck me, and then we’re going to come together.” Tori pulled back and made sure she had Holly’s attention. “Okay?” 

Tori’s words might as well have been a thrust of three fingers inside Holly: that’s how much they made her contract inside. She nodded, saying nothing. Her body was one giant touchpaper, ready to be lit. Tori was the catalyst, and she only hoped she could hold out, do whatever Tori wanted. Because when she was in this mood, Tori knew Holly was an easy target: she didn’t need much. A look, a stroke, a whisper in her ear could all send her over the edge. The longer Tori held out, the worse it got for Holly.

“Good,” Tori said, kissing Holly roughly before standing up and easing her pyjama shorts down her milky white cheeks. They dropped to the floor with ease. She wasn’t wearing any pants.

If Holly was wet before, she was even wetter now. She spread her legs wide, inviting Tori into her, although she knew that wasn’t the plan. Not yet, at least. Tori had other ideas, and she was making Holly wait. Holly’s breath caught in her throat as the thought flitted through her brain. She’d waited long enough for Tori to be her girlfriend, she was happy to wait however long it took for this release.

As a naked Tori straddled Holly, sunshine sparkled against the mirror on the far wall. It fairly reflected the state of Holly’s mind.

Tori took Holly’s hand and pushed Holly into her, one finger at a time. She levered herself up, then down, up, down. And as she did so, she leaned forward, her mouth at Holly’s ear again.

“Just like that, how I like it,” Tori whispered, her breathing ragged.

Every word was like a thrust to Holly. She moved forward, moving into Tori as she did. Her fingers were now just where she wanted them to be, and Holly could feel herself pulsing, too.

Tori groaned and gripped her, pressing Holly’s face to her breasts.

To see Tori calling the shots but being so totally open and free was thrilling. Their relationship was still new enough for Holly to be amazed at the power of her lover, the intensity she put into this. Then Tori’s mouth was on her, her tongue sliding in and out of Holly’s mouth, tugging at her lip. She ground down on Holly.