All I Want Series Boxset, Books 1-3: All I Want for Christmas, All I Want for Valentine's, All I Want for Spring (30 page)

Tori grabbed Holly’s arm and pulled her back, shouting her name as she did.

Holly jumped back onto the pavement, a contrite look on her face. How she hadn’t been mown down already in her life was a constant puzzle, seeing as she nearly got run over at least once a day.

Tori shook her head, smiling at her girlfriend. “You’re a nightmare to cross roads with, have I mentioned that before?”

Holly grinned, despite herself. “Once or twice.”

“Have you named me as your main beneficiary in your will? Because I’m going to need it one of these days,” Tori said.

Holly nudged her in the ribs as the crossing lights turned green and they stepped out into the road.

“You’re welcome to all of my student loans and debts. They’re yours, with love.”

It was a short walk to The Arches, a cool cafe situated underneath the railway line. The rumble of trains was never far away, but the noise didn’t even register with Holly, she was so used to it from their flat. Within minutes, they were installed at a window table with coffees and juice, their lunch ordered. Smugness set in as Holly clocked the steady stream of office workers in suits and shirts grabbing lunch on the go.

“Feels kinda decadent doing this in the week, doesn’t it?” Tori took Holly’s hand and kissed the top of it.

“It is,” Holly replied, leaning across to kiss Tori on the lips. After the morning they’d shared, maximum physical contact was a must. She hadn’t really wanted to leave their bed, but then again, they could always go back. She absolutely planned to.

“Have you heard from your dad?” Tori asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

Holly nodded, leaning back in her seat. She hadn’t told her dad about the Elsie incident, deciding he had enough on his plate without adding anything else. “Spoke to him yesterday. Sarah’s recuperating, but it’s a slow process. Her parents are having Elsie too, so she’s being passed around like a little parcel, poor thing. But she’s a resilient kid. I was asking her about her mum when we had her, and she doesn’t seem too worried. I think kids take these things more in their stride than we do.”

A flash of fear washed over Tori’s face at the mention of Elsie. Holly smiled and reached across the table, taking Tori’s hand and kissing it lightly. They hadn’t talked too much about the Elsie incident, both of them busy with work and Holly just glad it had a happy ending. She’d been so mad at Tori on Sunday, she’d needed time to calm down. However, in the cold light of day, she was glad she had — it could have happened to anyone.

“I’m not still mad at you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Holly said, giving Tori’s hand a squeeze.

“You’re not?”

Holly shook her head. “Nope. I mean, I
was
mad, plenty mad, but rationally I knew it wasn’t your fault. I just needed some time to reach that conclusion and not hit you in the process.” Holly smiled when she said the last bit.

Tori fiddled with her spoon before answering. “I would have hit me too, believe me, but it worked out alright in the end.” She blew out a breath.

Holly squeezed her hand. “Elsie’s fine and we’re fine, that’s all that matters. But I do think this whole January has taught us we might not be ready to have children just yet.”

Tori laughed at that. “You think? What with Elsie vomiting, weeing and running off, I think she’s put us through every conceivable test going. If this was a reality show, I’m not sure what I’d score us.”

Holly took a sip of her coffee before answering. “I dunno, I think we did okay overall.” She shrugged. “I’d score us a solid eight. Elsie’s alive and not traumatised, can’t say fairer than that. What we’ve experienced is called parenthood — that’s how it is. Or at least, that’s what Mum told me.” Holly paused. “Apparently it happened when I was little, too — they lost me at Butlins. I strolled off looking for ice cream when they were admiring some plant.”

Tori spluttered. “You loved ice cream that much even then?”

Holly nodded. “They found me sat down beside a van, waiting for them to arrive and pay for some.”

“Runs in the family clearly, there was nothing I could do about Elsie’s wandering ways.” Tori smiled, then paused. “Too early for jokes?”

Now it was Holly’s turn to laugh. “It’s fine,” she said.

Tori bit her lip before continuing. “I’ve got to admit, I was worried while she was missing. And not just about her — about us, too. If Elsie had been lost — and that’s still too awful to contemplate — what would have happened to us? That was playing in my head and it was so scary.” She held Holly’s gaze. “Losing her and then losing you was too much to contemplate.”

Holly’s face softened. “You’re a great berk, you know that? I don’t plan on getting rid of you anytime soon, no matter what. Unless you, like, join a cult or go really weird. But you’re not really one for joining things and you’re already weird enough, so I think we’re safe on that.” She picked up Tori’s hand, grinning at her. She couldn’t imagine a situation where she’d dump Tori: Holly was pretty sure this was the real deal.

“You know there’s a saying: there are many people you can live with, but only one person you can’t live without. I can’t live without you. You’ve ruined me.” Holly straightened up as a blush hit her cheeks. She was getting soppy in a cafe. She needed to take a chill pill. She was overtaken by her own words, falling from her mouth like warm pebbles.

“You and your sweet talk,” Tori replied, not taking her eyes off Holly. “Have I mentioned lately how much I love it? And how much I’m looking forward to getting home later?”

Holly’s cheeks reddened even more. “Stop it, before my blush covers this cafe,” she said.

Luckily, their food arrived just at that minute, brought to them by a very cute and smiley waitress.

“Saved by the bell,” Tori said.

CHAPTER 11

The next day, Holly was having breakfast and staring at Tori’s peace lily. Getting a kitten looked like it was about to become a reality, because the plant was fighting fit, despite Elsie’s best efforts. Tori had been watering it and wiping its leaves clean like it was her new-born baby. But really, keeping the plant alive was the least of their worries, what with everything else that had been thrown at them.

Tori walked into the lounge, interrupting her thoughts.

“Hello again,” Holly said, as Tori sauntered over to her, flashing a full-beam grin.

“Hello to you, too,” she replied, stopping beside Holly and kissing the top of her head.

Holly pushed away her cereal bowl, before wrapping a long arm around Tori and sitting her firmly in her lap. Tori’s hair was still wet, and she was wearing Holly’s favourite jumper, a petrol blue colour that really brought out her eyes. Outside, a train rattled past the window, taking commuters into their daily grind.

“You feel like you’ve lost weight — have you?” Holly was squeezing Tori’s torso through her shirt and jumper.

“No idea, but if I have, it’s all down to Elsie. We should market that diet: don’t worry about carbs, just hire a toddler for a few weekends. It’ll rip pounds off you.”

Holly laughed. “Especially if you don’t have to do all the weight gain and childbirth thing. There’s a dog-borrowing website, you think it would work for children?”

Tori gave Holly a frown. “I think there might be other concerns around that, don’t you?”

“You might be right.” Holly kissed Tori on the lips, pressing herself firmly into her lover. Some friends had questioned whether living together might be an extra pressure on their new relationship, but Holly didn’t think so, and she was being proven right.

“So remember — I’m going over to see Dad and Sarah after work, so if you cook dinner, leave me some for when I get in, okay?”

Tori frowned. “Kitchen pressure on me,” she said. “I’ll pick something up on the way home.” She kissed Holly again. “You got a busy day ahead?”

Holly nodded. “Yep — got a big client to take out to lunch. They’re expanding, so hopefully they’ll throw all the recruitment our way. Unless I do an Elsie and vomit all over them, I’m hoping it’s a done deal.”

Tori laughed, her smile reaching right to her eyes. “Poor old Elsie — we’re still going to be bringing this up when she’s 25, aren’t we?”

“Damn straight,” Holly replied.

***

Her dad greeted her at the door with a hug, which was very un-Dad-like. His upbringing had been quite stiff-upper-lip, in stark contrast to her mum’s, and he’d always had difficulty shaking off his past. However, since Sarah and now Elsie had come on the scene, Holly had noticed a softening of his ways. Maybe you could teach an old dog new tricks, after all.

Holly hadn’t been in the house since Sarah had come home, and the air weighed heavier all around her, the indoor plants and even the floral sagging. And if she’d thought Tori had lost weight earlier, her dad definitely had. It’d only been three weeks, but his tall, lean frame, the one hers was styled on, appeared gaunt. He sat down on the sofa and rubbed his tired eyes. They were already red raw.

“Have you been eating?”

He took a deep breath and gave Holly a weak smile. “This and that, it hasn’t been brilliant. I’m cooking for Sarah, but seeing her so off her food puts me off as well, so…” He trailed off and looked into the distance.

“She asleep?”

He nodded. “I’ve never known anyone sleep so much. She sleeps, eats, sits on the sofa quietly, and then she goes back to bed. She finds noises too much, movement too much, most things. Apparently it’s normal, but it doesn’t stop it being a worry. And then there’s Elsie, I worry about her — it’s been such a disruption for her.” He put his head in his hands.

And then something happened that Holly had never seen before. Not when her dad’s brother had been killed suddenly while travelling. Not when he was breaking up with her mum. She wracked her brains, but she didn’t think she’d ever seen it happen.

Her dad began to sob. Just small at first, almost hesitant.

Holly moved to sit beside him and put a tentative arm around his broad shoulders.

And that’s when the floodgates really opened, and guttural sobs began to come from him as he relaxed into Holly’s arms.

In such an odd situation, Holly had trouble finding any words to say. But she didn’t need any — just being there and allowing her dad to cry was enough. It lasted a good few minutes before he straightened up, fished a tissue out of his pocket and blew his nose. It wasn’t enough though, so he disappeared into the kitchen for a few moments, blowing until he was empty. Then he walked back in, his frame stooped, his spirit broken, and sat back next to her, leaning right back on the sofa and sighing deeply.

“Sorry love, you’ve no idea,” he said, blowing his nose once more for good measure. “It’s just so hard, watching someone you love go through this.” He paused, rubbing his palms up and down his face. “But you and Tori have made a real difference. Elsie chatters on about the two of you non-stop — you’ve been a real hit.”

Holly squeezed his knee. “We’ve loved having her — she’s a sweetheart.” She paused. “But you need to eat, Dad, keep your strength up.”

He nodded. “I know — that’s what Sarah’s been saying.”

“Perhaps listen to the women in your life?” Holly replied, laughing gently. “You’d think you’d have learned that by now.”

He laughed at that. “I’m a bit dense sometimes.”

“You worry about Elsie and Sarah, but I worry about
you
.” She paused, gearing herself up to say the words. They were easy to say to Tori, because she meant them every time. But quite often, she’d hated her dad, wanted him to suffer as much as he’d made her suffer. But times had changed, and now Holly wanted him to be happy — and healthy. After all, he was the only dad she was ever going to have.

“I love you, Dad, and whatever else happens, you’ve got two daughters who love you and need you. So you need to look after yourself, okay?” Holly held his gaze while she spoke. To her surprise, the words had flowed out easily, just as if she meant them. And she had. Sometimes, what’s important in life rises up like neon flashlight, and family was right at the top of the pile for her. Family, and Tori.

In response, a single tear tracked its way down her dad’s face, then he leaned forward and gathered her in his arms.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve such a wonderful daughter, but I’m glad you’re here.” He cleared his throat, pushing Holly away and holding her at arm’s length. “And I know I don’t say this enough, but I love you too. I’m going to say it more from now on, believe me. To you, to Elsie and to Sarah.” Then he gathered her in again and held her tight.

“I’d like that,” Holly whispered in his ear, now a child again in his arms.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this much physical contact with her dad, and she was amazed at how it made her feel. Soothed, warm and cocooned. She was ten years old again, at the park, in her school play, her dad clapping everything she did. He always had throughout her childhood, but somewhere along the track, the clapping had stopped, his attention drawn elsewhere. When he’d fallen out of love with her mum, somehow he’d fallen a little bit out of love with her, too. She’d always been a daddy’s girl growing up, but once he’d left, that bond had been broken. But maybe, just maybe, it could be rebuilt.

Tears pricked the back of her eyes as she drew back from his arms.

“I just hope Sarah gets better, for my sake and for Elsie’s,” he said, his eyes glassy.

Holly nodded her head slowly. “She will, but it might just take a bit of time.”

CHAPTER 12

“Well?” Tori asked, standing next to Petula. “I think I’ve surpassed myself, don’t you?” Tori gave Holly her best sultry look as she posed beside the plant. The plant looked alive, but she wanted to look ravishing.

“Are you feeling okay?” Holly asked.

Tori looked puzzled. “I’m feeling great, how about you?”