All I Want For Christmas Is A Werewolf (Changeling Encounters) (5 page)

I miss you too, Faith. Sleep. I'll always keep you safe.

His words filtered through her mind, spreading a pleasant heat throughout her body, lulling her into a place of security, and peace.

With a small smile on her lips, she slept.

Three weeks later, Gavin woke at twilight, his cock hard and his heart aching, barely able to contain his urge to seek out his mate, to see Faith.
He knew she was awake.
He could sense her alertness with his mind, her happiness.
She was obviously doing something that brought her joy, which was not an uncommon occurrence.
Over the last few weeks, he had learned that his mate had a stubborn will to make the best out of any situation, an inner strength that never ceased to amaze him.

Smiling, he stretched and jumped out of bed, anxious to be with her, wondering how he had ever lived without her laughter, her softness, her very presence.

I still haven't asked her to bond with me, to be my mate.

Truth was, he wasn't sure what would happen if she didn't agree.
He couldn't get close to her without the severe agitation of the mating instinct, and the frustration got harder to bear every moment he spent in her company.
However he couldn't,
not
be in her company, not be close to her.
It hurt either way, and he had decided that if he was going to fucking hurt, he would do it surrounded in her essence, hearing her sexy voice, her laughter.

Feeling her need nearly drove Gavin over the edge, his pounding desire to sate her nearly killing him.
But he knew if he crossed that line again, as he had the first night, there would be no turning back, no second chances.
If he scared the shit out of her with the intensity of his desire, took her like a rabid animal, he might lose his chance to have her as his mate for all eternity.

Can't risk it. It would kill me.

He knew that this time, he was doubly-screwed.
Not only were his mating instincts so strong that they made him doubt that Lena had ever truly been the right mate for him, but he was fighting his emotions, a love for Faith so strong that it turned him inside out, upside down and slightly sideways.

Shaking his head slightly, he sent a silent apology to his two brothers for every time he had laughed at them for being mated, for having to cater to their mates' every desire.
Now, he knew exactly why they did it, and did it with a smile on their faces.
If Faith would allow him the privilege of being her mate, he would let her lead him around by his cock quite happily, loving every moment of doing things that pleased her, that made her happy. Her happiness was also his, making it his pleasure, literally, to see to her every need.

That's how it should be, how mating should be.
Finally, he understood Rafe and Noah. He understood the complete ecstasy of having a mate. He could only imagine what it would be like if Faith actually bonded with him.
He'd feel like the luckiest bastard in the world.

Gavin showered and dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
He passed Faith's room, his room, on his way downstairs.
At least he had the comfort of knowing she was sleeping in his bedroom, his bed.
His cock throbbed painfully, thinking about her rolling around naked in his bed.
Okay, maybe it wasn't such a comfort, but it
did
give him a certain male satisfaction.

He heard her before he saw her.
There was music playing in the living room and she was singing off-key along with the music.
Really, it was pretty adorable, and Gavin's smile broadened, until he realized exactly
what
she was singing.

Christmas music! Fuck! No! Deck The Halls!

His stomach rolled and his face turned to stone as he smelled the scent of pine.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Gavin strode immediately to the stereo, hitting the button to stop the annoying song, slamming the off button much harder than necessary.

"Gavin?
Are you okay?
Did I wake you?"
Her voice was soft, comforting.

He glared at his mate, taking in her festive holiday sweater and Santa hat.
And then, he saw the tree.
It was a monster, at least eight feet, half decorated with colorful balls, almost all of them a ghastly red and green.

"I wanted to surprise you.
I love Christmas and I noticed you haven't had the time to decorate." Her voice was hesitant, obviously not sure what to make of his behavior.

He couldn't help himself.
"I fucking hate Christmas.
I hate red and green.
I hate the smell of pine, Christmas trees and Christmas music.
I despise gingerbread and Christmas cookies."
He took a deep breath, his face red with fury.
"I don't like the way malicious people act jolly for one month out of the year, and then go back to being assholes after the first of January."
He hesitated before adding vehemently, "And I loathe Santa Claus."

Gavin was breathing hard, his chest heaving with emotion.
He lifted his head, his gaze raking over his mate.
He could feel her horror, see it on her face, the look in her eyes.

Just like Lena. Just like Lena.
It was the same expression he had seen twenty years ago from his selected mate, only this time, instead of the twinge of disappointment he had experienced when Lena had rejected him, he was utterly destroyed by seeing that same look on Faith's beloved face.
He jerked his head away, unable to look at her.

She fucking hates me now!

Gavin was catapulted back in time, twenty years in the past, to Lena's room, where he had painfully broken the mating connection while Lena slept.
Her room had been decorated with every imaginable Christmas decoration and he had fought through the fires of hell, the scent of pine surrounding him. Every so often he would hear the sound of tinkling bells and Christmas music chiming the hour on her Christmas clock.
He didn't know how often he had heard the music, how many hours had passed, losing track of time as fire devoured his body and soul, burning him alive.

When it was over, he had stumbled through the house, knowing he had to escape before his presence was discovered and the sun began to rise.
But leaving had not been easy; he’d been unable to use his magic due to the precarious hour close to dawn and his depleted condition.
His only option had been to drag himself out of the home on foot, every step agony, every movement torture.

Christmas was torment and he hated every single thing that reminded him of that night twenty years ago.

"Gavin.
Are you all right?"
Faith's voice was concerned.
Agitated.

No!
He wasn't fucking all right.
He would never be all right.
After seeing the look on Faith's face, knowing what he would have to go through to break the mating connection with
her
, he'd never survive.

"Gavin, you're scaring me.
Please talk to me."

He couldn't look at her, couldn’t speak to her.
Gavin felt like his heart had been cut from his chest and ripped forcefully from his body, leaving him raw and bleeding.
His legs gave way, forcing him to sit on the sofa.
He closed his eyes and allowed his head to rest against the back of the couch.
The scent of pine, the tree, the music had triggered so many painful memories.
But reliving the most excruciating hours of his life was nothing compared to seeing the look on Faith's face, the realization that he was going to lose her.
Hell, breaking the connection with Lena would seem like a little bitch slap compared to losing Faith.

Faith is my true mate, the woman who should have been chosen for me. Lena was a mistake, Changeling magic gone wrong.

His wolf howled in agreement, a horrible jarring yowl of despair that echoed in Gavin's soul.

Faith kneeled at Gavin's feet, feeling helpless.
His face looked ravaged, and the pain she saw clawed at her.

Placing her hand softly on his thigh, she closed her eyes, concentrating on penetrating his thoughts.
Gavin had worked on helping her to connect, to share thoughts with her.
Maybe it was intrusive when he was obviously upset, but she was desperate to help him, to ease his discomfort.
She wasn't sure if it was caused by the mating instinct or the fact that she had fallen head over heels in love with the handsome werewolf, but she didn't give a shit.
Something was wrong and she needed to help him.

She flinched as she broke through the barrier, delving into his thoughts and memories.
Bombarded, she focused, filtering through over three hundred years of memories, concentrating on only the last several minutes.

Faith connected, flinching and jerking as she saw every memory, every thought that Gavin had experienced in the last several minutes...and then she wept.

Oh God, how her Gavin had suffered, how he still suffered.
All because of some wimpy bitch that hadn't been able to handle what he was, who he was.

Tearing her glasses off, she set them on the coffee table.
Her forehead resting against his knee, she wept openly, sobbing out the pain that she knew that Gavin never would.

He thinks I'm rejecting him. That he has to go through that nightmare again.

She felt Gavin's big hand sift though her hair, silently comforting her.
Comforting
her
, when she was crying for
his
pain.

She jerked her head up, wiping the tears from her face.
Crawling up his body, she seated herself in his lap, wrapped her arms his shoulders and buried her face in his neck.
"I'm so sorry, Gavin."

"Why?
It's not your fault that Christmas shit makes me crazy."
His voice was husky, and filled with sadness.
His arms tightened around her waist, pulling her closer.

Unable to stop herself, she blurted out, "Mate with me, Gavin.
Bond with me."

"You want me?
Even after that Christmas freak-out?" he asked urgently, pulling her head back to look at her.

She had discarded her glasses, but she could still see the intensity burning in his eyes, the longing on his gorgeous face.

"I love you, Gavin.
You can read me.
How could you not know?" she answered honestly.

"I haven't tried to read your emotions about me.
Maybe I didn't want to know."
His voice was rough, graveled.
"I guess I thought as long as I didn't know, there was hope."

Faith wondered how in the world Gavin could ever think that she could
not
love him.
They had spent many long hours together, his desire to help her with her thesis was totally genuine.
He had let her poke, prod, examine and take samples from his wolf without complaint.
She had asked him endless questions, both about timber wolf behavior and about
Changelings
, which he had always answered with patience, giving up his own free time just to help her.
Gavin was kind, smart, sexy, gorgeous, and he had the hottest body in fifty states.
In summary...the perfect specimen of manhood.
A woman would have to be crazy not to want him.
And she definitely wasn't demented.

His body started to shake and he rested his forehead against her shoulder.
"The perfect specimen of manhood?"
He chuckled against the coarse knit of her sweater.
"Don't you think you're stretching it a little, sweetheart?
I'm not that patient, and I help you because I can't manage to stay away from you.
It was purely selfish."

She smiled, knowing he was downplaying his assets.
"I noticed you didn't argue about the hot body thought."

He lifted his head and shrugged.
"If you think
that
, why would I argue?"
He shot her a wolfish grin.

"I'm sorry about the past, Gavin.
So sorry that you lost your mate"
She stroked the hair back from his forehead, her heart still aching for what he had been through.

"I'm not.
The connection was never right.
I knew it as soon as I met you. If you accept me, the pain of breaking the mating connection before will all be worth it.
You're worth it." He grumbled, his eyes glinting fire.

Faith shivered, the fierceness of his gaze, the heat in eyes, making her whole body flood with need.
"Mate with me, Gavin.
I need you."

His nostrils flared, and Faith could feel his desire pounding at her, merging with her own.
The two combined would have brought her to her knees had she been standing.