All for Maddie (8 page)

Oh my God, why the hell
didn’t I get a hotel?

“I’m going to turn in,” I
stated, leaving her alone by her extravagant pool.

“I didn’t mean to make you
mad Whit, but it’s a fact. You shouldn’t have hid her from him.”

“You know what, Ky? You know
nothing about it. You have no idea what I did. So don’t go judging me for shit
you don’t know.”

“Jesus, Whit, I’m sorry.”

I shook my head with an
exasperated breath. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. I’m just on edge about all
of this. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I brushed my teeth, slid into
a pair of shorts and a clean t-shirt, and then crawled into the luxurious bed
with the lavish sheets. They truly felt like cotton and silk mixed together. I
probably would have slept like a queen, had Maddie been in bed with me. I
wouldn’t sleep until Sunday, when I had her safely back with me in my non-toxic
little cabin at the resort.

I lay awake staring up at the
pattern swirled onto the ceiling. It was almost eleven and I didn’t feel at all
sleepy. At least Maddie should be asleep, that eased my mind a little. I
wondered if she went right to sleep. I hoped she didn’t cry for me.

I was startled out of my
trance by my phone. My heart dropped when I saw the number; something happened,
there was something wrong. I could feel it. I heard Maddie screaming before I
heard Alex.

“Alex, what is wrong with
her?”

“She wants you, you have to
come here and settle her down. I can’t do anything with her.”

“Let me talk to her.”

“Maddie, your mommy wants to
talk to you.”

Maddie couldn’t even talk to
me, she was crying so hard. All I got was: I want you.

“I’m on my way baby, stop
crying, okay? Mommy will be there in a few minutes.”

I was there in a few minutes,
speeding as fast as my old truck would let me. I was fuming. I was beyond
furious at him for putting her though this. What kind of devil does that?

Alex opened the door before I
had time to knock. I stormed past him, bumping his shoulder with mine as I went
to Maddie. She stood from the sofa and I lifted her into my arms. She sucked in
breaths of air from crying so hard and clung to me as if I had left her there
forever, like she was afraid I wasn’t coming for her.

“I hope you’re happy!” I
yelled, swaying with my baby girl, rubbing circles on her back. “Get me her
things!” I demanded.

“You’re not taking her,
Whitley,” he demanded.

“You watch me. She doesn’t
want to be here. I don’t want her to be here. Do you care about anyone but
yourself?”

“You’re not taking her out of
this house,” he said again.

“I go wif you, mommy,” Maddie
said, raising up still gasping air into her little lungs. I didn’t like this. I
didn’t like it one bit. Maddie had never seen anyone argue. She knew her mommy
was upset. I couldn’t keep my voice at a normal level. I was too mad for that.

“Where’s your girlfriend? She
not the motherly type? Couldn’t calm her down, either?”

“She left.”

I blew out a puff of air.
“Just let us leave, please,” I begged in a quieter tone, still swaying back and
forth with Maddie.

“No, you stay here until she’s
asleep and then you can go. She has to get to know me.”

“Not like this, Alex. She’s a
baby. She needs baby steps. Spend some days with her before you go trying to
force her to know you.”

“You’re not taking her,
Whitley.”

I closed my eyes and plopped
to his overstuffed sofa with Maddie. Alex sat in the chair across from me and
we exchanged glares. I ran my hand up the back of Maddie’s shirt and rubbed her
back. She took a long shaky breath and curled her arms under her belly. She was
asleep in a matter of minutes.

“Why are you doing this,
Alex? What gives you the right to come into our lives and mess everything up?”

“Why did you keep her?” he
asked, ignoring my question.

I kissed Maddie’s head. “I
waited too long to abort her. I’m not sure I could have done it anyway.”

“What do you mean, you waited
too long?”

“I was afraid to tell anyone
what had happened to me. I didn’t tell anyone until my stepmom walked in when I
was naked. I couldn’t hide my five month pregnant belly.”

“Why didn’t you give her up
for adoption?”

“I planned on it, all the way
up until they placed her in my arms. I couldn’t do it,” I honestly spoke,
looking up to him. “I’m not a bad mom, Alex. I love her.”

“I never said you didn’t love
her, but pictures don’t lie.”

“Like hell they don’t, not
one of those photos are reality.”

Alex snarled his lip in some
sort of cocky manner. “Tell the judge that?”

“Why can’t you go have a baby
with your girlfriend, Kendall, was it?”

He snorted. “I don’t think
Kendall and I will be making babies. Does she still need a car seat?”

“What?”

“A car seat. I want to take
her to the zoo tomorrow.”

“You can’t just do what you
want with her without consulting with me first.”

“Why? You did it for three
years. You think I approve of men coming in and out of your house with my
daughter there?”

“Why is it that you can’t
seem to remember that you raped me? Do you remember that night at all, Alex? I
remember it like it was yesterday. I remember every single detail about it.”

“I remember it, but I don’t
think you hated it as much as you say you do. I got you off. I know I did.”

“Yeah, you did. So does that
make it not rape? You also…never mind. You know what went on that night.”

“It doesn’t matter what went
on. You still had my child and didn’t tell me. She’s asleep, you can leave
now.”

I couldn’t get anywhere with
this dick-wad. He was the most egotistical ass I’d ever had the pleasure of
knowing.

“Just let me take her and
bring her back in the morning. What if she wakes up again?”

“I’m betting she won’t. We’ve
had a pretty busy day, she’ll be fine. You can carry her to bed if you want.”

I didn’t want to carry her to
bed. I wanted to carry her right out of that house. Why didn’t I? Why didn’t I
just get up and do just that? Because I was afraid to, that’s why. I was afraid
that he would prove me unfit, and I would lose her. I couldn’t let that happen.
I had to do whatever this bastard told me to do.

Maddie was out. Alex pulled
the covers back in the too tall bed for me to lay her down.

“Move the pillow to the
middle,” I quietly ordered not wanting her to roll out of bed.

She rolled to her stomach and
moved her arms under her. I covered her and lay down beside her when she opened
her eyes, afraid that I wasn’t there. I rubbed her back and kissed her head. “I
love you,” I whispered as she drifted back to sleep.

I quietly moved off the bed,
lightly kissing her forehead one more time, before giving Alex a vengeful glare
and leaving him. I had half a notion to sleep right there in his driveway in my
truck.

<><><> 

I couldn’t believe how
selfish Alex was being. It was nearly four in the afternoon and I hadn’t heard
one word, other than the one text message when I had tried to call around noon.

AT THE ZOO. SHE’S FINE.

I texted right back, telling
him that I wanted to talk to her, but he ignored it. I had to lie to my dad
around five when he called to check on her. I told him that she hadn’t had a
nap all day and that she had fallen asleep on Kylie’s sofa. He couldn’t wait to
see her the following day. This was going to rip his heart out and there was
absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I texted again at seven. This
was ridiculous. He had no reason to keep me from talking to her. It was nothing
but a power trip. I’m sure I have never hated someone so much in all of my
life.

I WANT TO TALK TO MY
DAUGHTER
, I texted. She would be asleep in an hour or so. I had never gone
a whole day without talking to her. I’m sure that Kylie wanted me out of her
house. I was being such a party pooper, moping around, and not talking to her
or Aaron. I wasn’t trying to be rude. I just had other things on my mind. I
should have just gotten a hotel.

SHE’S IN THE TUB. SHE WILL
CALL YOU WHEN SHE IS DONE. SHE’S FINE.

I DON’T CARE IF SHE IS
FINE. I WANT TO TALK TO HER!!!!

No response. Surprise.

Finally, at a quarter after
eight, my phone rang.

“Hello,” I answered rather
harshly.

“Mommy!” Maddie exclaimed.

“Hi, baby. What are you
doing? I miss you so much.”

“I go to da animal place. I
seed a monkey. I seed six no four, no. How many monkeys, daddy?” I closed my
eyes at the sound of those words.

“Nine, sweetie,” I heard Alex
in the background.

“I did see nine whole
monkeys, and guess what else.”

“What, baby?”

“A fish, more den nine. A
whole, whole, bunch.”

I wanted to be the one to
take her to the zoo for the first time. I felt left out. Like he had made me
miss a milestone with my daughter.

“Was it a big aquarium?”

“Uh-huh, dem not wet me feed
dem. You come get me now?” she asked.

“Mommy is going to come and
get you in the morning, and we’ll go home and see papaw and nana. Okay?”

“I not sweep here. You come
get me now, K?”

“Mommy’s going to be there
first thing in the morning, I promise.” Come on, Alex, distract her before she
starts crying.

“We have to have ice cream,
remember.”

Thank God.

“I have a go eat ice cream,”
Maddie exclaimed. Ice cream was the best thing to distract Maddie’s mind,
especially if you had gummy bears to go on top. Once again, Alex hung up.

 And once again Maddie had a
meltdown. I actually smiled when I saw Alex’s number just after ten at night.

I could hear her crying for
her mommy, before I heard him. “I need you.”

“Of course you do. I’ll be
there in a few minutes.”

The predictable reunion was
the same as the night before. I held Maddie on his sofa, while she curled into
my chest and fell asleep. Alex once again sat across from me. He didn’t speak,
I didn’t speak, and we only glared at each other.

“What, Alex?” I finally
asked. He wouldn’t quit staring at me, like he was contemplating me or
something. I didn’t like it. I still wanted to punch him in his stupid face.

“I have a proposition for
you, Whitley.”

“A proposition? Fuck you,
Alex. I’m not interested in your propositions. I want you to go to hell.”

“Now see. I really don’t
think you should be using that language around my daughter.”

Unbelievable. “She didn’t
hear me. She’s asleep, and further more I don’t use that language around
my
daughter.”

“You should really hear me
out,” Alex alleged, almost as a threat. He propped one foot over the other and
slid down a little, slumping.

“Fine, Alex. Go, proposition
away.”

“I want you to move in here
with Maddie.”

I sat up. Surely he didn’t
say what it sounded like he just said. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I want you to
move in here with Maddie. You don’t need to worry about money or working. I
will take care of you.”

“You’ll take care of me?”

“Yes, I’ll take care of
everything that you and Maddie need. You’ll have your own room, of course.”

“I’ll have my own room?” Why
the hell was I repeating everything he said? Oh yeah, because it was absurd.

“Stop doing that, Whitley.”

“I’m not moving in with you.
What on earth would ever give you the impression that I would move in here?”

“The way I see it, you don’t
have much of a choice.”

“I don’t have much choice?”
Shit, I was doing it again.

“Not if you want to see your
daughter. I mean I would let you see her, of course, but she is going to live
here with me. I’ll see to it. I’m not denying that she loves you and she needs
you, but she also needs a father. It’s the best choice for all of us.”

“She has my father. She
doesn’t need you.”

“I disagree. I’m not going to
be a weekend dad. I want her here with me every day. I want to take her to the
zoo, to the park, read to her, teach her to ride a bike, and swim. I want to be
here for her. I’m going to be here for her.”

“Alex, this is crazy. What
about your girlfriend?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend. I
dismissed her this afternoon.”

“You dismissed her?” Damnit.
Stop doing that. I couldn’t help it. This guy was insane. He dismissed her?

“She’s not the motherly type.
I’m not interested in anyone that can’t love my daughter as much as I do.”

“You don’t even know her.”
How the hell could he sit here and say he loved her. He’s known her for forty-eight
hours.

“I do love her. It’s crazy
how much I have fallen in love with her.”

I plopped back to the couch.
Maddie squirmed at the movement.

“Take the week and think
about it, Whitley. Just know what you’re getting yourself into, if you choose
to fight me on this. You may end up being the every other weekend parent.”

“I’m going to go lay her
down,” I said, standing as she clung to me. My head hurt. He made my head hurt.

Alex stood and led us to
Maddie’s room. He pulled the covers back and I tried to lay her down. She held
onto my shirt not letting me go. I laid down with her once again and rubbed her
back as she fell asleep.

“You can stay with her if you
want,” Alex offered. “You may as well get used to it.”

He walked out and closed the
door. I never said I was staying. I didn’t want to stay in his house. I wanted
to take my daughter and go home to my cabin at the resort. I wasn’t moving in
with him, it was crazy.

I didn’t leave her. I stayed
right there with her snuggled up to me. I don’t think I slept for five minutes.
I never removed my jeans and let my sneakers hang off the side of the bed. My
mind reeled a million different directions. How could this be? This just
doesn’t happen, this was worse than any Lifetime movie I’d ever seen.