All Due Respect (32 page)

“I’ll take care of Jeff,” Colonel Kane promised. “You have my word on it.”

“Okay.” Julia glared at him. “But do not disappoint me on this. Please.”

“I won’t.”

“So what now?” Seth asked.

“Take Julia to your house. Keeping her under wraps is your domain. Just sit tight and wait.”

“For what?” Julia asked, perplexed.

“For Hyde to contact Seth.” Colonel Kane frowned. “He’ll want to either gloat about your death or to negotiate a deal—the real Home Base data in exchange for your life. Either way, Hyde will call.” Colonel Kane’s eyes flinted like steel. “When he does, we’ll get him.”

They would. Provided Seth didn’t get to Karl Hyde first.

ANTHONY Benedetto drifted in the warm haze induced by the Xanax. Resting on the sofa in his office, he let his mind wander back to when he was a child and he would rush to his father and share something that would have been insignificant to a grown man but was of consequence to a boy. His father had stopped what he was doing—always had stopped what he was doing—to listen to Anthony. And Anthony wanted to talk to his father now. To go fishing with him again. He had been the best speckled-trout fisherman in the world.

Voices. His father?

Anthony twisted his head, cocked an ear. No. Roger. Roger and… Mother?

“The council knows about the drugs,” Roger said.

“They’re a legal perscription.”

“Yes, but he’s not taking them as prescribed, Mrs. Benedetto.”

“He’s going through a difficult—”

“Yes, ma’am, I know that,” Roger said. “Unfortunately, Jason Franklin does, too.”

Franklin. Anthony tried to focus. Bernard `I. Hostile takeover. Nicholas, his grandson. Abusing the loyalists. Murdered on Anthony’s orders. Jason. Jason? Anthony couldn’t recall a Jason Franklin, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Not really.

“Who is Jason Franklin?” Anthony’s mother asked.

Anthony smiled. Wonderful woman. Always anticipating his needs.

“Nicholas’s younger brother,” Roger said.

“The same Nicholas who used to take advantage of the factory workers?”

“Yes, Mrs. Benedetto.”

The one I had killed, Mother. Anthony shivered. It was a little cool in his office. A blanket would be nice. And a real pillow. He opened his mouth to ask Roger to get them, but his mother’s voice stopped Anthony cold.

“Why is the council calling for a special meeting?”

“Drug abuse is expressly forbidden,” Roger said. “Franklin is insisting the council call for a vote.”

“On what?”

“Electing a new chairman.”

“Over my dead body,” she said.

Thank you. Mama. Anthony closed his eyes, let his mind drift. All was well. His mother would see to it.

She always saw to everything.

THE bathroom door opened with a distinct creak.

Standing naked under the shower spray, Julia went rigid. “Who’s there?”

“Me. Can I come in?”

Seth. Seth? Her heart slammed into her throat. She shoved her dripping hair back from her face. About that affair. I think we should start now.

Did she want to do this?

It’s crazy. You ‘II be vulnerable again. Didn’t you learn anything from Karl?

He’s not Karl.

Is any man really that different?

“Julia?” Seth asked from the other side of the shower curtain. “Just say the word and I’m out of here. I thought—” he stammered. “That is—” He faltered again. “When you told Jeff we’d be adopting him, I thought—Well, never mind what I thought. Your silence speaks volumes.”

She pulled the shower curtain open. Seth stood naked on the white half-moon rug. The sight of him captured her breath. “You, um, thought what?”

“I thought we’d be … together.” He looked at her, so solemn and serious. “You know. A … family.”

She couldn’t read him. Why, of all times, did he have to go into statue-face mode now! “Is that what you want? To be a family with me?”

The look in his eyes warmed. “Yeah.”

Yeah? That’s it? That’s all he had to say?

It wasn’t enough. Not for her, not now. Not after Karl. “Why?”

Seth stared at her a long moment, then, as if he had gotten a fix on her, he stepped into the shower and wrapped her in his arms. “Because I love you, Julia. I’ve always loved you.”

“You have?” Always? How could she believe a blanket declaration like that? How could any woman? When they had worked together, he’d never made the slightest overture.

You were married. Seemingly happily married. Would you really want a man who came on to you believing you were happily married?

She wouldn’t. She lifted her hands, the spray of water hitting her firmly on the back. “Are you sure it’s not just for Jeff?” It could be, and she’d understand that totally. Hadn’t she asked herself that same thing? Told herself that no judge in his right mind would refuse the two of them adopting Jeff, provided they were married?

Seth pulled her closer, let her feel how much he wanted her. “I’m sure.” He rubbed their noses. “I love Jeff, Julia. But I’ve loved you longer.”

His body pressed against hers. She looked up at him and smiled. He was the most amazing man. Gorgeous, head to heel, inside and out, and he loved her. Her, Julia Warner, scarred inside and out. Scarred.

She dropped her left arm, held it close to her body to hide the scars on her arm and the ones on her side that ran from her armpit nearly down to her waist.

Seth stared into her eyes, lifted her arm, and looked at her scars. Her face went hot. The ones on her arm were godawful. Just one was seven inches long. Jagged. Ugly.

He kissed it.

Then he kissed the scar on her ribs. And then he kissed her, sweeping her mouth with his tongue, washing her fears right out of her heart. Breathless, she held on, suddenly not

feeling scarred and ugly. Suddenly feeling beautiful… and desired. Suddenly, desiring.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressed her body to his, and kissed him deeply. “I want you, Seth. I never thought I would want to be intimate again. But I do. I want you.”

He lifted her to him, kissed her long and deep. “I know this has to be hard.”

“Seth, I—”

“Shh, let me finish.” He pecked a kiss to the tip of her nose. “For people like us, trust is harder than love. Making love is physical, but it can come from the heart. Then, it’s pure and nothing else intrudes. No one else intrudes.” He stared deeply into her eyes. “Love me from your heart, Julia. That’s how I’m going to love you.”

Understanding passed between them, and Julia opened her heart to him, and then her body, and they made love.

When satisfied and still warm in the afterglow, she nuzzled Seth, accepting what he had told her as truth. When you loved from the heart, lovemaking was pure and nonintrusive. And noninvasive. It was a scared time of communion between bodies, minds, and hearts. It was magical, mystical, and marvelous.

She curled her arms around his neck and whispered, “Seth, love me again.”

GOOD things come in threes.

Julia had heard that saying all of her life. Today, she had learned the truth in it for fact, firsthand. Loving the feel of Seth with her in bed, she curled closer to his side and rested her head on his shoulder. She had survived. Jeff had survived. And Seth loved her and Jeff.

It was almost too good to believe.

Don’t wimp out now, Julia. Not now, when you can finally realize your lifelong family dreams.

God, but she wanted them. Desperately. So scary, that. Needing some serious comfort food, she scooted toward the edge of the bed.

“Where are you going?”

“To the disaster area once tagged your kitchen.” Where were her slippers? She touched her toes to the floor along the side of the bed. Matthew’d had someone drop off a suitcase of her “essentials” from the apartment.

“What for?”

“I’m hungry.” She checked under the edge, but the slippers weren’t there. Maybe she had left them by the sofa.

Seth rubbed at his neck, the sheet scraping against his skin. “Uncle Lou’s spaghetti?”

Not surprised by his insight, she admitted the truth. “Yeah.”

He braced an elbow and lifted himself. “Tell me you’re not sorry about us, Julia.”

“No, I’m not.” She crawled back in bed and curled up next to him, closing her arm around his side, then stroked him rib to hip. “I’m just scared.”

“Me, too.” He wrapped his arms around her, took in a sharp breath against her shoulder. “I’ve never loved anyone else. Not since my mother.”

“Think we’ll get used to it?”

“It’ll take a while, but, yeah. I think so.” He stroked her back. “Thought you were hungry.”

“I’m too comfortable now to get up.”

Hands down, one of the nicest compliments he had ever received. Seth smiled against her hair and, in each other’s arms, they drifted back to sleep.

Sometime later, the phone rang.

Without jarring her, Seth reached to the bedside phone and answered it, sounding fully awake. “Holt.”

He paused, then said, “No, not a word.” A smile entered his voice. “Tell him we’re holding him to it.” Another pause, then, “She’s fine. Sleeping right now.” He sounded relieved by that.

Insecurities crept in. Did he regret them making love? This shift in their relationship? Or was he just glad to see her getting some rest?

Damn it, woman, the man loves you. Don’t go destroy

ing it by doubting his every move and word. What you’re really doubting is yourself. Your fear is the fear of loving again. Of being vulnerable and hurt again. It takes courage to love, Julia.

It did. God, but it did. She could be crushed.

For God’s sake, Seth doesn’t crush. He isn’t Karl.

She knew it. And she knew it wasn’t fair to compare them. On anything. Ever. Yet it was nearly impossible not to do it. Viewing everything through your own frame of reference, your own perspective, was normal. How could she not rely on her own past experience?

So rely, already. But rely on your experience with Seth. Only with Seth.

Seth. He was kind and funny. Caring, honest, and brave. Courageous, fair, and strong enough to be gentle and to admit fear. That was Seth. Wounded and struggling to come to terms with his past as much as she was, and with guilt he hadn’t earned but still carried.

Poor Seth needed Uncle Lou’s spaghetti, too.

She rested her fingers on Seth’s chest. Stroked him. She needed a little time to adjust, that was all. Time for her head to accept all her heart already seemed to understand. Just a little time.

“Yeah, I’ll be in the vault shortly,”, he said into the phone. “I’ve got some work I need to do. Keep me posted.”

He hung up, then nibbled at her neck. “I have a message for you from Jeff.”

She opened her eyes and looked at Seth. Light from the bathroom sliced across his chin and left eye. “What?”

“He says—and I quote—‘Tell Dr. Seth and Dr. Julia they gotta get married and then adopt me cuz the nurse said that’s the only way it’s legal and nobody can change it.’ “

Julia’s heart drummed. “How do you feel about that?”

He drew in a slow, deep breath, and caressed her arm. “I love you, Julia.”

His eyes said more. Far more. And she loved what she was hearing and seeing. “I want a house on a few acres. I don’t like crowds anymore,” she warned him. “I’m bitchy

as hell early in the morning, and sometimes I like to just sit and be still. Not do anything, not say anything. Just… be.”

He bit back a smile. “I don’t snore, cheat, lie, and I swear to God, I’ll never raise a hand to you.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” Her voice sounded steady, but inside she trembled. “And if you ever do—”

“I’ll shoot myself to spare you the trouble.” He lifted a hand. “I promise.”

He would. She knew it wasn’t idle talk but a sacred vow. “Seth, I know when your dad went to prison and you went through all those foster homes, you learned to be self sufficient.”

“More like self-contained.”

She had become that way with Karl. “I learned not to need anyone or anything from anyone, too. And it worked fine, until you and Jeff came along. It’s scary, Seth. I need to know it’s not all one-sided. I know Jeff needs me, but do you?”

“Oh, yes. Definitely. Always.” He sat down beside her on the bed. “I still have trouble showing it, but I’m working on it. You’ll have to help me, Julia.”

“I will, if you’ll help me, too.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.” She pecked a kiss to his lips and stroked his face. “I still have a hard time visualizing you in Special Forces. It didn’t surprise me; I’m just used to seeing you in a lab coat.”

“I saw myself in the lab coat, too, which is why I made the shift; Research and development has always been my professional first love. I still have this vision of creating something that will finally assure peace. It’s an idealistic pipe dream, but—”

“So was electricity, the telephone,, and personal computers until someone did them, Seth.” She hugged him and planted a kiss to the salty skin on his neck. “I like your dream, and I hope you never give it up.”

“I can’t give it up.” he said, satisfaction in his tone. “I’m

a family man now. Everything is … different.”

More at stake, more at risk, more to lose—personally. “Yeah.” She pecked a kiss to his neck. “I want to tell you some things, so you understand me better.”

“Okay.”

“In the kitchen that night, when I got so upset—”

He’d reached over her to get the paper towel. “I remember.”

“Karl always attacked me from behind. I get a little freaky when someone sneaks up on me, so let me know you’re coming, okay?”

“I will.” Seth laced their fingers.

“For a long time, I was kind of like a prisoner. Breakfast had to be ready at precisely seven a.m. If it was late, Karl would take my plate and put it in the sink, and run water over it to ruin the food. When he went to work, he would take the phone with him, so I couldn’t call anyone, and when I got home from work, he’d check the mileage on my car. If I was a tenth of a mile over, I had to have a receipt or some documentation to explain the difference and where I had been.”

“Damn, Julia.”

“I know. It was crazy. But it happened gradually, and I thought it must be my fault because normal husbands didn’t act that way. Finally, I saw the light, and I found a way out. It was a rough exit, but I survived it. It’s not easy to remember these things, much less to talk about them, but it’s important. You need to know I’m never going to be anyone’s prisoner again.”