All Because of You (Lakeview #2) (23 page)

It was a barely disguised jibe at the fact that Maeve McGrath had never offered to baby-sit her grandson; in fact, she had never gone out of her way to spend any time with him at all. It hurt Liz that Toby’s one and only grandmother wasn’t really interested in him. Granted she wasn’t interested in Eric’s sister’s kids either but they lived much further away in Kerry. With Toby she didn’t really have an excuse. 

“I know what you’re getting at,” Eric said. “And yes, maybe Mum should help out some more. But she’s getting on now, Liz. She wouldn’t be able to handle Toby.”

“I suppose.” 

In truth, when push came to shove, Liz knew she wouldn’t be altogether happy with Maeve looking after her baby. The woman was guarded and standoffish and didn’t seem to have a friendly bone in her body. Liz only put up with her because she was Toby’s only grandmother, but the woman’s continued refusal to visit their home (supposedly because of the dogs) was becoming annoying. 

But she didn’t want this to spark off a disagreement between herself and Eric, so she decided to change the subject.

“How’s your lamb?”

Eric had so far spent much of the meal simply picking at his food. “It’s OK, nothing special.”

“Here, have some of my sea bass,” she offered, pushing the plate towards him. It was pathetic the way she kept trying to ingratiate herself with him, but she didn’t know what else to do. Tara wouldn’t behave like this; no, if she were in this situation, she would just come right out and ask Eric what the problem was, instead of just sitting there, timid as a mouse, pretending that all was well. Liz cursed her own cowardice, cursed her inability to confront the situation head-on and ask her husband what the hell was wrong with him.  

The problem was that deep down, Liz really didn’t want to hear the answer. She didn’t want to hear Eric admit out loud that something was indeed wrong. At least this way, she still had a hope that their marriage was OK, albeit a slim one, and could convince herself that they might get through it. 

But then again, how could they, when she didn’t really know what there was to get through? And what kind of marriage could they have in the future if they couldn’t talk to one another now? Liz sighed inwardly, at a loss as to what to do next and sick to the back teeth of worrying about it.

“I’m alright, thanks,” Eric said, refusing her offer of the sea bass. “I’m not very hungry, to be honest.”

“Eric, are you OK?” Liz blurted, deciding to just bite the bullet and ask him straight out what was wrong with him – like any self-respecting wife would. “You seem very down in yourself lately.”

“I’m fine,” he replied and her heart plunged to her stomach when she realised that he wouldn’t look her in the eye. “Just a little tired.”

“Well, do you want to head back to the room after this? I’m quite tired myself, actually.” She pushed her plate away. “Now that I think of it, maybe we shouldn’t go anywhere on our own – without Toby, we’re both so tired we can hardly talk.”

She got a brief smile in return. 

“I suppose it was nice of Tara to offer to take him again all the same,” he said. “But don’t you feel that sometimes she can overdo things?”

“What do you mean?”

“This whole ‘look at me – I’m so successful’ carry-on?”

“Well, she
is
successful, but as far as I’m concerned she’s no different to how she was when we first met. And you know as well as I do that Tara deserves every bit of success she has now.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Eric conceded. “But it must be tough on Emma though when –” He stopped short, as if he’d spoken out of turn, and Liz’s heart skipped a beat. “Why do you say that?”

Eric sat back in his chair. “Well, there’s Tara with this great career, nice car and what have you, and on the other hand there’s Emma, pregnant and having to give up her job and move home.”

‘
Having
to give up her job’ was a bit of an overstatement. According to Tara, Emma (after her first bout of morning sickness) had simply packed in the job and gone running home to Mammy and Daddy. But she didn’t share her thoughts with Eric.

“Yes, but it’s not as though she won’t get plenty of support – much of it from Tara, I’d imagine,” she added quietly. Then, she took a deep breath before adding, “Seeing as the baby’s father doesn’t seem to want anything to do with it.”

“And what makes you think that?” Eric replied, his tone measured. 

“I’m only going on what Tara told me. I don’t really know Emma, after all.”

“Well, I do, and from what I can make out, things are hard enough on her as it is, without Tara gossiping to all and sundry about it.”

“All and sundry?
I’m one of Tara’s best friends.” Hurt that he had so easily come to Emma’s defence, Liz couldn’t help her voice from rising. “And she’s not
gossiping
about Emma, she’s worried about her. Anyway, how do
you
know so much about how hard things are for Emma?” she added petulantly, and immediately wished she hadn’t. Now, she sounded like a jealous nag.

“Oh for
Chrissake, Liz, don’t start. Emma’s an old friend, you know that. OK, so we went out with one another before I met you – big deal. I didn’t marry her, did I?”

No
, Liz replied silently,
but perhaps now you wish you had
. 

Instead she
said. “I know that, but to be honest, Eric, since we moved to Lakeview, sometimes I can’t help feeling a bit left out.” 

There
she’d said it, she’d finally admitted that she felt an outsider in the village, that the idyllic life they’d envisaged in the country hadn’t quite materialised. “You know so many people, which is of course understandable seeing that you’re from there, but I … I don’t know … people in Lakeview are friendly, but I can’t help feeling like an outsider.”

Eric sat back.
“But that’s only natural, Liz. We’ve only been there less than a year. These things take time.”

“I know, but I just get the sense that it’ll always be like that. I mean none of the locals have used the kennels yet – ”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Part of the problem is that everyone knows their neighbours so well that they don’t need to put their dogs in kennels. They can just leave them with one another. Don’t read too much into that, Liz. Anyway, what about  Colm? Don’t you get on with him?”

“I do, but I suppose he’s still really your friend. I don’t really have any friends of my own.” She hated the way this all sounded so whiny. With the way she was carrying on, why
wouldn’t
Eric cheat on her? 

“Well, then you have to get out and about more. Bring Toby to one of those mother and toddler groups or something.”

Liz had thought of that, but it was difficult to arrange it around the kennels. She had to be available in the mornings to take in and discharge the animals. Maybe when she was fully booked she needn’t worry about it, but for the moment she needed to look after her customers’ every whim, so she couldn’t go gadding off to playgroups.

Sh
e sighed. “Maybe you’re right. I suppose I just need to give it time.”

“Of course you do,” Eric soothed, but Liz suspected he wasn’t really taking her concerns seriously. “Now, will we get the bill? I think I’m ready for bed.”

“Sure.”

But much later, as she lay beside a heavily sleeping Eric, who had meant he was ready for sleep, and not for the lovemaking his wife had sorely hoped would bring them closer together, Liz wondered if giving it time would be enough.

Sunday lunchtime, Eric and Liz returned home from Belfast. 

While both were obviously excited to see Toby after the few days, Liz in particular seemed over the moon to be back, and upon arrival she practically swooped on the baby and covered him in kisses. Toby, in return, seemed just as pleased to see his mum and giggled with delight at Liz’s exuberance.

Eric kissed Toby too, but Tara suspected that he was somewhat annoyed by his wife’s overly demonstrative behaviour. 

“Liz, leave him alone – you’d swear we’d been away for weeks,” he admonished, but not in the usual, playful manner Tara would have expected from him. In fact, now that she’d observed him up close, Eric didn’t seem himself at all. She was certain he’d lost weight, and the sunny and good-natured manner she’d associated with him for as long as they’d known one another now seemed curiously absent.  Instead he looked drawn and solemn and, Tara thought worriedly, a little uncomfortable and out of place with the cosy family reunion. Tara now understood why Liz had been so worried. Eric looked like a man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

“Thanks for looking after him,” Liz said, coming over and giving Tara a hug, Toby still in her arms. “I hope he was OK.”

“Liz, it was a pleasure – he wasn’t a bit of bother.”

“He wasn’t?” Liz replied, looking oddly at her son. Then, she coloured slightly and gave a sideways glance at Eric, as if ashamed. “Well, you’re obviously much better at this than I am – I’m finding him very hard going lately.”

“Liz thought the place would be in chaos without her,” Eric drawled, and Tara could have kicked herself. The last thing Liz needed was to feel insecure about her mothering skills, especially when she was feeling so anxious about everything else these days.

“Not at all. To be honest, I think he was so amused by me trying to handle the dogs that he didn’t have to heart to make things any harder,” she joked. “And of course, it’s always a novelty to have someone else looking after you, isn’t it?” she added, tickling the little boy, who began to giggle. “But I’d say he can be a little terror when he sets his mind to it, can’t you, Toby?”

“Or maybe you’re simply much more of a natural at this than I am,” Liz insisted tiredly. 

Tara decided not to push it any further and her mind strained to think of something that would change the subject.

“Oh I hope you don’t mind,” she said then, “but I had your new neighbour over for lunch yesterday.”

“What new neighbour?” Eric asked, frowning.

“The one who bought the place next door,” Liz told him.

“That old rundown shack? I didn’t know anyone had bought that.”

“Well, I told you,” Liz said with a jaded sigh. 

Tara couldn’t believe how sullen and distant she and Eric seemed around one another.  For a couple that had always been so fun-filled and relaxed together, it was especially difficult to comprehend. Tara didn’t have to wonder too much how their weekend had gone – she could see it all reflected in their faces. Liz was understandably delighted to get back to Toby, but the strain between Eric and her was evident. 

“I’d better head back home,” she said, feeling again as though she should change the subject. “After a few nights surviving on takeaways, no doubt Glenn will be expecting a decent dinner.” She shook her head in feigned exasperation.

“Oh, he didn’t come down on Saturday night, then?” Liz asked. 

“No, he got stuck at work till all hours. Apparently he and the boys were right on the verge of cracking some incredibly important line of code – don’t ask me.” She rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still at Pixels in front of the PC surrounded by empty pizza boxes.” Glenn was like a dog with a bone when it came to computers so Tara wasn’t at all surprised when he’d phoned to say he wouldn’t be joining her. And she had to admit she didn’t mind either. She liked having a weekend to herself – well, she admitted guiltily, not quite to herself, as she’d shared most of the previous day with Liz’s friendly new neighbour.

She’d really enjoyed their lunch yesterday. Contrary to first impressions Luke Cunningham was intelligent, talkative and very good company. Tara was surprised by how clued-in and sharp he seemed about everything, considering he spent months on end away from civilization and surrounded by what he laughingly called ‘serious alpha-males’. Tara didn’t want to admit that she’d immediately dismissed Luke as one himself after their first meeting – although the incident with the mice had quickly dispelled that.

And (beefy biceps aside), he was also very attractive, and from what she’d gathered, single, seeing as he’d mentioned he was doing up the house himself. Not that she cared of course, Tara reminded herself quickly as she collected her belongings and went outside to put them in the car.

“Nice machine,” Eric commented, joining Liz and Toby out front to say goodbye.  “That must have cost a few quid.”

“It was all Glenn’s idea,” Tara said, shaking her head in exasperation as she struggled to cram everything into the convertible’s tiny boot. “Never again will I take the advice of someone who reads
Max Power
magazine.” 

In truth, she was actually quite fond of the car now, but something in Eric’s tone stopped her admitting it. For some reason, she got the impression that he begrudged her the little luxury. Had his return to
Lakeview had that much of an effect on him –  that he, like so many others, hated to see one of their own doing well? Well, if he did feel that way, he had an absolute cheek. Eric of all people should understand how difficult it had been for her to get to where she was now.