All Because of You (Lakeview #2) (15 page)

Natalie blinked. “Steve, it’s me, Natalie.”

“I know bloody well who it is – unfortunately.” Steve groaned. “Look, Nat, I thought I made this clear last time.”

“Made what clear?”

He sighed. “Look, we had a few dates, and it was great but –”

Her heart began to thump. “But what?”

“But that’s it. We’re not really suited, you and me. I thought you understood that last week.”

“Understood what?”

Steve took a deep breath. “Look, you’re great and it’s been fun but – ”

Her eyes widened in disbelief as she sensed what was coming, “But what?” she repeated timidly.

“Look, I just don’t think this is going anywhere.” 

On his side, Natalie heard another phone ring in the background, and guessed he must be at the office.

“Don’t be so silly,” she said, trying to keep her voice light, “of course it’s going somewhere. You have no idea how much I missed you while I was away and – ”

“Yes, I do actually – I have all the sodding texts to prove it.”

“Right, well, I can explain those.” Natalie gave a little laugh. “That night, I’d had one drink too many so – ”

“Natalie, I really don’t have time to discuss this,” he said, his tone now decidedly impatient. “As I said, I just don’t think we’re suited.”

Of course they were suited! She and Steve were great together – perfect together! How could he say that they weren’t? Natalie couldn’t believe this was happening.  Again. 

“But – but what about our holiday?” she spluttered. “If we ‘weren’t suited’ as you say, why did you agree to come on holiday with me?”

“What? I didn’t agree to anything! It was all your idea and you had it all arranged before you even asked me!” Steve sounded mightily put out. “Talk about railroading somebody!”

“Well, you could have let me know that you didn’t want to go instead of letting me down at the last minute like that!” she said, irked that he saw things in such a way. “I paid out a fortune for that holiday!”

Steve seemed to be struggling to hold his temper. “Natalie, I told you at the time that I would let you know if and when I had time to take a holiday and that we would then discuss it! But you didn’t listen. You just went right ahead and booked it anyway.
Man, we barely know one another! In all my life I don’t think I’ve ever met a bird so pushy.”

Natalie’s heart sank. “We barely know one another? Steve, we’ve had sex at least a hundred times!”

“Yeah, well …” Steve paused for a minute, as if trying to think of the right words.  “Look, Nat, as far as I’m concerned it was just that – sex. Maybe you thought it meant something more but …”

Natalie couldn’t remember ever feeling so low in her entire life. Just sex? What about love and companionship and all the things she thought they’d shared? How could it have been ‘just sex’?

“We weren’t a couple, Nat. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I thought you knew that – especially when I told you I wasn’t keen on that holiday, and I’d blown you … I mean, hadn’t seen you that much beforehand.”

“But I thought that was because you were busy with work! You
told
me you were busy with work! And I was busy too, so I thought the holiday would be a good opportunity for us both and …” Natalie couldn’t finish the rest of the sentence. She’d thought he’d be thrilled at the idea of the trip, delighted that she’d gone to such effort just for him. But obviously she’d been wrong. “Look, I’m really sorry that I sent you all those text messages when I was away,” she babbled quickly. “I was a bit tipsy at the time and I didn’t really mean it when I said you were the best thing that’s ever happened to me and –”

“Nat, look – it’s not going to work, OK?” Steve interjected, his voice softening somewhat. “You’re a great girl, but I’m just not ready for a relationship with – with
anyone
at the moment. There’s too much going on in my life right now.”

“Like what? Maybe I can help,” she replied eagerly, heartened by his change in tone.  She could help him through whatever was going wrong in his life at the moment.  That was what supportive girlfriends did, didn’t they? Yes, it would be perfect. They could put their passionate romance aside and she’d just concentrate on being Steve’s confidante, his shoulder to cry on, his rock of strength –

“I don’t need any help!” he said, becoming irritated once more. “Look, can’t you take a bloody hint? I don’t know where you got the idea that this was something serious. Yes, we had some good times together but – ”

“
Some
good times together! Steve, we were –”

“Ah, Natalie, please just leave me alone, will you?” the object of her affection interjected once again. “Look, if I’d known you’d turn out to be some psycho bunny-boiler, I’d have run a mile! No man in their right minds would want all this crowding, and neediness!”

She a bunny-boiler?
Psycho
bunny-boiler? What was he on about?

“But, Steve, how could I possibly crowd you when I hardly ever see you?” she snivelled, sounding even more desperate than she felt.

Steve sighed once more. “I’m sorry, but there’s no point in making this any harder for either of us. You’re a nice girl, Nat, but it’s just not meant to be. See you round.”

With that, he rang off, leaving her staring dumbly at the handset for what seemed like an age. What had happened to the grand homecoming she’d anticipated? The big love affair she’d described to Tara in Egypt? Had this really happened? Had Steve – the love of her life, the man she was supposed to marry – had he just dumped her?

She was eventually snapped out of her reverie by the ringing of the intercom. For a brief second, she wondered if it was Steve at the front door, if he had been playing an elaborate (and admittedly cruel) joke on her. But no, it was merely the deliveryman with her takeaway. 

Wishing that she’d ordered a fattening and much more comforting dish like fried rice and crispy duck in plum sauce instead of a boring and anaemic low-fat chow mein, Natalie went downstairs and dazedly paid the delivery man. Then, her appetite by then having completely deserted her, she went back upstairs and threw the whole lot in the bin, before finally throwing herself on the bed and crying her heart out. 

The following morning, as she struggled to gather together enough make-up to cover her tearstained face and the dark circles under her eyes (despite her fabulous tan from the holiday), Natalie thought again about what Steve had said to her on the telephone the night before. His words had kept repeating themselves over and over in her head all night, but she’d been so upset that their relationship was over that she hadn’t been able to think clearly about any of it. Now, in the cold light of day, and having let all the hurt and anguish out, she was better able to consider everything somewhat more rationally.

Was
she pushy and needy and bunny-boilerish?

Well, she thought huffily, as she applied Clarins Beauty Flash Balm to her face, if trying to show somebody how much you cared about them by booking them on a luxury holiday was being a bunny-boiler, she wished she knew a few more of them herself! Then she shook her head dejectedly. She’d really thought that doing something extravagant like that for Steve would make him happy, especially as he’d been so thrilled when she’d organised prime seats for him and his mates at Stamford Bridge that time. But maybe an exotic holiday abroad had been too much too soon.  After all, they had only been together a few months. 

And why oh why had she sent him so many texts while she was away? Why had she been so stupid as to think that they had a real future together? She remembered Tara’s surprised expression when she’d told her that she was expecting Steve to propose any day now, especially after confessing they’d only been together six months.  But she had been so sure Steve was the one for her, the one who’d finally deliver the fairytale she’d longed for since she’d watched her very first Disney video.

Natalie wiped away a stray tear from the corner of her eye. Now she was further away from that than ever, and considering the fact that she was getting older by the minute, she was getting further and further as time went on. 

Was it
ever
going to happen? Was she ever going to find someone who wanted her as much as she did them? How many more frogs did she have to kiss before she found her Prince Charming? It was so bloody frustrating.

Natalie began to apply a thick layer of mascara onto her eyelashes, hoping it would obscure her still red-rimmed eyes. With her naturally long and dark lashes, she didn’t normally need much, but today she needed to pull out all the stops to ensure that nobody in the office realised she was upset. Appearances were everything in the PR business and it wouldn’t do for one of Blue Moon’s most trusted publicity managers to come across as anything other than composed and in control. Given that she knew all about the holiday and Natalie’s hopes of a romantic week away, no doubt Danni would notice something, but hopefully she would know better than to ask.

Natalie sighed. So much for the romantic week away. How had she got it so badly wrong? From the first minute she’d laid eyes on him at that book launch in Soho, and particularly after they’d seemed to get on so well, she’d decided they were meant to be together. And then after a few dates, things had been so going so well that she’d couldn’t help but start picking out their children’s names and …

Suddenly, her eyes widened but this had nothing to do with her industrial strength mascara. Was that it? Had she been going about this all wrong? What if all the men she’d met over the last few years were perfectly suitable, yet
she
was the one who’d kept messing things up. Each of them had been all over her at the beginning, some of them admitting that because of her supposed good looks, they’d almost been afraid to approach her. But despite their early interest in her, the ensuing relationships never seemed to progress any further than a few months.

And now that she thought about it, the same excuses tended to keep popping up over and over again: ‘I need some space … you’re too forward … no, I haven’t thought about whether I prefer Habitat to Ikea …’ It was all the same stuff. 

Natalie finished applying her lipstick and stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t that much of a nightmare, was she? Granted, she was so used to being aggressive in orchestrating things at work that perhaps she was unwittingly just as full-on when it came to her personal life. 

Before Steve, there had been Gary, and he’d seemed fine at the beginning too until she’d … Natalie blushed at the memory … until she’d phoned up his mother after they’d been a few weeks together and asked if she could call round and meet her  Gary had gone apoplectic. But he’d been so full-on with her in the early days that Natalie had been certain they had a real future together. He was always staying over at her place and the sex, to the say the least, was pretty intense. So as far as Natalie was concerned this had to mean Gary was crazy about her, didn’t it? She grimaced. Once again, she’d got it wrong. 

But now that she had the benefit of hindsight, Natalie could admit truthfully to herself that it wasn’t so much Gary she’d been interested in back then, but more so the possibility of settling down and getting married like Freya and the rest of her friends.  And if she was being totally honest with herself, didn’t she feel much the same way about Steve? Was she really heartbroken that he’d dumped her yesterday, or was she more upset about the fact that her dreams of domestic bliss had been cut short once again? 

She didn’t know, she decided, picking up her briefcase and leaving the flat. All Natalie knew was that today she felt doubly eager to get back to work, back to dealing with the kind of problems she understood, and therefore knew exactly how to control.

Chapter 10

Despite her determination not to let Emma’s comments get to her, over the week that followed Liz discovered that this was way more difficult than she’d thought.  

On Friday evening, shortly after he and Liz had finished dinner, Eric announced that he was thinking of going out for an hour or two.

“I thought I might give Colm a ring – see if he fancies a few pints in The Bridge,” he said. “You don’t mind, do you? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Liz had replied easily.

It was Eric’s first night off in a while, and even though she was a little put out that he’d chosen to spend it elsewhere instead of with her and Toby, she didn’t blame him.  And after their argument about his going out in Dublin a few days earlier, she wasn’t about to start behaving like some overprotective shrew. “He was only saying the same thing the other day, actually.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while since we had a few. And of course, what with the café being so busy, I think he needs to get out and relax a bit.”

“I know, the place was packed to the gills the other day when I was in. They really needs to take on more staff.”

“
Anyway, I’m sure I won’t be too late – Colm won’t drink too many pints – you know how these fellas don’t like to let themselves go.”

Liz smiled inwardly. Despite his apparent open-mindedness about his best mate, Eric nearly always referred to his friend’s sexuality in a joking manner. Typical Irishman, she thought affectionately as Eric went off to get ready to go out.