All At Sea

All At Sea

by Pepper Ellison

Copyright Pepper Ellison 2015.

Published by Pepper Ellison through Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing

Cover Image License purchased from Istockphoto.com

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or retransmitted without express permission from the author, with the exception of brief quotes for review purposes or critical articles.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblence to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is purely coincidental.

Visit the author at www.pepperellison.com

All At Sea

Pepper Ellison

a Muse Contemporary book

Monday 6
th
Jan 3.10am 

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

Hello, Mr. Murdock. My name is Amelia Beauchamp, and I’m sorry to be messaging you in the middle of the night, but if I wait until morning, I might lose my nerve. I would like to inquire about surfing lessons. I’ve not surfed before, but you come highly recommended according to my online research. Your advertisement guarantees clients will be “up on the board the first lesson.” I’m very uncoordinated and not a strong swimmer, so you might have your work cut out for you. I’m afraid of water in general and of the ocean in particular. Giant waves are pretty much fuel for my nightmares. I’m originally from Kansas City, which is about as far from the ocean as one can get, but as I’m going to be spending several months on Oahu living on a yacht and surrounded on all sides by water, I figured this would be the best time to rid myself of my phobia. How might I go about scheduling a lesson?

Thank you,

Amelia Beauchamp                           

Wednesday 10
th
Jan 11.15am

—North Shore, Oahu—

Hi Amelia, sorry I took a while to get back to you! I get pretty busy with lessons during the day so can only check my phone sporadically. Anyway, I might be able to help you out. We can do one-on-one lessons, or if you want to bring a friend you can split the cost. Up to you. I am at North Shore on the beach most days, but I can come down to Waikiki. Let’s arrange to meet up.

Ta, Kody

Friday 10
th
Jan 11.35am

—
Waikiki Yacht Club
—

Hi Kody. Amelia Beauchamp again. Also, I should mention that I have a slight panic disorder.  I just got here a few days ago and don’t know anyone else yet so it will just be me for the lesson.

Amelia

Friday 10
th
Jan 3.40pm

——North Shore, Oahu—

Kansas is somewhere in the middle, right? I’m from an island, too. Australia. Anyway, I will be at Waikiki tomorrow. Look for the sandwich-board ‘Aussie Surf School’ (inspired, right?) I have curly blonde hair and a tan, so I pretty much look like everyone else hanging around there, except for the Aussie accent. My mate/colleague Lachlan will be there too. He is a big, buff dark-haired dude. He has scheduled a couple clients for that time. You can’t miss us.

I don’t know if I can guarantee that you will be up in the first lesson if you are as scared as you are saying, but we’ll have a crack. Can you come Saturday at 2?

Friday 10
th
Jan 9.46pm

—Waikiki Yacht Club —

Kansas City is in the very middle, yes. Technically, it’s in the state of Missouri, though, right on the border. Either way, corn on all sides.

Two o’clock Saturday is great. I’ll be the pale, awkward brunette in the red bikini. The one who looks like she’s on the verge of tears or a heart attack. Skinnyish. Five-four.  Amelia

Saturday 11
th
Jan 5.25pm

—North Shore Hostel—

Wow. You really weren’t kidding about the water phobia.

Ok, first I want to say that you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. I could tell you were pretty upset by the way you threw your money at me, sprinted two hundred metres, and then lay on the ground. I did try to come after you, but then you sprinted off again and vanished.

It’s not the first time someone has lost their swimming top in a lesson. Lachie has a collection. And if you remember, I did suggest that you borrow my rashie.

Anyway, I am not usually one for long emails, but I don’t feel comfortable taking your money since you were only there for about ten minutes, so you can either have another lesson for free, or you could give me your bank account details I will refund you, or I am happy to post you a cheque.

But you should feel really proud of yourself for trying. You seem to have a really determined spirit and I admire that.

Kody

(If you come back, wear a rashie, or if it makes you feel safer, you can get these burqinis (for real!))

(Just a note for if it should ever happen again, quite a lot of ladies sunbake topless on beaches. If you hadn’t been running and screaming nobody would have paid you any attention. You could try just walking back to your towel. I have lost my duds before. Believe me, it’s harder for a bloke to look casual walking up the beach with no pants.)

(Also, what was the blue that happened just before you came down? I meant to ask you about it, but then so much happened in the next few minutes that I never got around to it. What were those guys saying? Sorry – ‘blue’ is Australian for fight.)

Sunday 12
th
Jan 10.15am

—Elements Spa & Salon—

Thanks for the encouraging words but I’m not sure when I’ll be back for another lesson. Maybe when the cloud of mortification dissipates. Visions of me sprinting through a crowd of Waikiki tourists while trying to hold onto my jiggling parts are pretty much consuming my every waking thought.

About the blue fighting thing. While I was waiting on the beach for you to finish up with that other client, this group of guys, about four or five of them, were taunting this girl about her weight. It was brutal. I exchanged words with them and it was really upsetting across the board. I was pretty shook up about it and should have just canceled the lesson and told you why but I wasn’t thinking straight. I don’t remember you offering the rashie. I don’t remember much of anything about the lesson. Well, until I waded a few feet in and that huge wave smashed me and ripped my top off. I remember that.  Lol. Whatever. Game over. It’s fine.

Just keep the lesson fee. Like I said, I watched you for a good while with that other client and you seem like a really kind and patient person. You’re good at what you do.

Sunday 12
th
Jan 10.20am

—North Shore Hostel—

I’ve seen those guys before. They are some sort of boot camp group I think. Like, kill yourself getting fit. That kind of thing. All shouting and humiliation and roid abuse.

Sunday 12
th
Jan 10.26am

—Elements Spa & Salon—

Yes! They were jogging down the beach chanting like soldiers, left-right-left, and then swooped in around the girl. They had this long stick and started belting out a song about whale hunting. Thar she blows, chubba-flubba, something about a harpoon. Then they pretended to stab the girl with the stick! I pointed to the one guy’s love handles and told him he should put down the Ring Dings and Yoo-hoo before he makes fun of someone else’s weight. He called me a skinny whore and told me to “grow some tits and eat a sandwich.” Then this older dad-guy stepped in and they all took off down the beach laughing. Off to find some other unsuspecting female to humiliate. The girl packed up her stuff and bolted, and I didn’t know what to do at that point so I just walked over to you for my lesson.

Sunday 12
th
Jan 10.36am

              —North Shore Hostel—

Yeah I saw that part. You were like a little fire cracker! Going totally sick! I thought wow what a cool, crazy chick. All squared up, even though that dick looked like he was going to slap you. I thought, man she has some serious spheres! I was ready to come and step in, but then it was over, and it turned out to be you!

Are you coming back?

Sunday 12
th
Jan 10.40am

—Elements Spa & Salon—

Maybe the swimsuit fail is a sign from the surf gods that I should keep it low key at the beach. I’ve come up with a list of how I might stay busy at the beach without actually entering the water: 

1. Design state-of-the-art sandcastles. 
   
2. Collect sharks’ teeth and sand dollars for customized jewelry.
   
3. Build kites and rafts made of flotsam.
   
4. Read, write, draw, nap.
   

Sunday 12
th
Jan 1.16pm

—Totally Brewed Café—

Suit yourself.

Can I just say, we wouldn’t have got very far as a species if we gave up the first time we tried something hard.

You know where to find me if you change your mind.

Sunday 12
th
Jan 1.25pm

—Rubicon Ristorante at the Wyndham Hotel—

Suit yourself.

Ha. Aren’t you the clever one.

And I didn’t say I was giving up, I just said I needed a little while for the embarrassment to wear off. I can come for a lesson tomorrow.

Amelia

P.S. I bought a rashie since they were fresh out of burqinis in my size.

Monday 13
th
January 3.02pm

—near Waikiki Beach, Oahu—

I’m glad you came back. Like I said, I know that was hard to do.

I’m really sorry about Lachie. He can be a real bastard. Our parents are good mates back home, and we’ve known each other since we were just little tackers, so I’m used to it. But Lachlan is right about your fitness though. Some of it is anxiety, but basically you have no fitness.

As I said to you, fifty minutes out of every hour surfing is paddling and waiting, four minutes is riding a wave, and a minute is face-planting, or being biffed by a board. It’s the paddling part I’m worried about with you.

Do you do any exercise at all? Anything cardio? Do you like to dance? That might help. I can send you a playlist if you like. You can bop around your yacht.

I can’t believe your parents are making you live on a yacht when you’re so scared of water! (Let me know about the playlist, and I will see you tomorrow?)

Monday 13
th
January 3.17pm

—near Waikiki Beach, Oahu—

Hi Kody. Don’t worry about it. I know a few football players back home who could give Mr. Fitness Freak a run for his money in the arrogant jock department. He really should worry more about his own clients’ well-being and less about yours. (Or how about
not at all
about yours.) He was supposed to be helping Newlywed Couple improve their technique, not looking for ways to further traumatize Awkward Girl while she’s in the water. Whatever. I’m over it.

Re: my “fitness”....hrmmmm....well....I could lie, I suppose. Fudge it and say I prefer yoga. But I’ve never been one for sports or exercise of any kind. (Although I’ve read about it!) I do that a lot. Read. And paint and draw. I’m planning on majoring in art at UCLA in the fall—nerd, I know—so basically, you’re correct. I have no “fitness” as you say. But I do like all kinds of music so absolutely send along the playlist. Maybe your fitness soundtrack can get me athletically-inspired. I can bop around “burning some cals” and “strengthening my core” or whatever it is supremely fit people such as yourself do. *Cue the
Rocky
Theme Song
.*