All About Lulu (37 page)
And what about now? After all of this talk about the future and the past, what can I tell you now, with the bene
fi
t of hindsight, that could possibly illuminate anything? What can I tell you about the nature of love, the thickness of blood, or the delicate shades of truth?
I could tell you that my father hums to himself now as he walks around Sausalito in a sweat suit, with a shock of grey hair atop his narrowing shoulders. But what would that tell you? I could tell you that Willow treasures the cards I buy her on Mother’s Day each year, but then, she’s had those coming for a long time. I could tell you that Lulu is the mother of two children, and that one of them is named William, but that might be giving you the wrong idea. I could tell you that I’m very successful and very happy, but then I’d be lying about one of those things.
So which among all of these philosophies, among all of those plati-tudes, is the one kernel of truth that has left its signature on my life?
That we are all a mystery to each other at the end of the day?
That you should never assume the conformity of the future with the past?
That despair does not know it is despair?
That the world is your idea?
Sorry, but I’ve got to go with the meatheads on this one: No pain, no gain.
Thanks to my patient, loving, and endlessly supportive wife, Lauren; my friends and tireless advocates, Mollie Glick and Jessica Regal; my wise and witty editor, Richard Nash, along with everybody at Soft Skull, top to bottom; my entire family (whom I love very much and to whom I apologize for any small similarities to the Miller clan); my friend and trusty reader, Michael Meachen; some of my favorite writers, who consented to reading my little opus and even went further in praising it: Keith Dixon, Brad Listi, Adam Langer, Josh Emmons, Greg Downs, and Natalia Rachel Singer; my writers’ group (Carol, Dennis, Suzanne) for supporting and believing in me; my old friend and fountain of book knowledge, Jan Healy (and everybody at Eagle Harbor Books); my frie
nd and editing mentor, Mary Ri
beski, at University of Washington Press; Harriet Wasserman for always reminding me that the word comes first; my best friend, Tup; Carl and Lydia, Matt Comito, Paul Miller at Crossroads Films, Roxy Aliaga at Counterpoint, Bryan Tomasovich and all my friends and kindred spirits in the fiction files (you know who you are!).