Aligned: Volume 3 (24 page)

Caroline finally pulls out a thin plastic stick and hands it to me.

“What’s this?”
 

“Flip it over.”
 

I do.
 

I stop breathing.
 

My heart stops.
 

My world ends.
 

‘Pregnant’ the test reads.
 

My hands shake as I hold the test in my hands. I try to think. When was the last time Caroline and I had sex? It was months ago before Alex. I glance back at Caroline’s flat stomach. She’s not showing, she couldn’t be months pregnant. I let out the breath I’ve been holding. It’s not mine. I feel terrible for Caroline, and I will do anything to help her, but I’m not the father.
 

A hazy image though crops up in my mind. An image of Caroline and me naked in bed together after a night of too much drinking. A night that happened just over a month ago. I suck in more air, but there is not enough air in the room to allow me to get the words out that I need to. I feel dizzy, sick. It can’t be mine. It’s not mine.
 

I close my eyes praying silently. Please don’t let this be mine. I’ll do anything. I’ll give up all the money I have. I’ll give up music. Just don’t let it be mine.
 

“Whose?” I finally ask when there is nothing left for me to do.

I meet Caroline’s gaze who takes the pregnancy test back out of my hands. She stares at it when she answers me.
 

“It’s yours ...”

Without the key, I can’t keep Alexa safe. Without the key, I’ll never get the redemption I seek.
 

I watch as Alexa pulls up in her silver Tesla. She wanted to meet me somewhere public. I told her I wouldn’t; I wanted her to meet me here at our new home. She reluctantly agreed. I have everything planned perfectly for her. A romantic dinner as we watch the sunset from our deck. A tour of the home where all our children will grow up. An apology with flowers and jewelry followed by a passionate night of sex. I run back to the kitchen to make sure the chef I hired for the night is ready to go. Yes, tonight is going to be perfect.
 

I make it back to the door in time to open it before Alexa has a chance to knock. She looks beautiful in her jeans and tank top, although I would have preferred her in a dress for tonight’s fancy dinner.
 

I welcome her with a soft kiss on the cheek. She freezes when I move in to kiss her, but I don’t care. By the end of tonight, she will be begging me to touch her body.
 

I grab her hand and pull her through the house out to where I have a cozy table for two complete with rose petals set for our dinner.
 

“It’s beautiful, but I wasn’t planning to stay for dinner.”

“I hired a chef and everything. It’s part of my apology. You were right. I was a lying ass. I should have been honest with you. I shouldn’t have bought this house without your consent, but everything I did is because I love you. I wanted to protect you and give you the best. I won’t apologize for that.”
 

I walk over to her chair and pull it out for her. I can see her contemplating how she can get out of this, but I’m not going to give her that chance. I know she’s been to see Landon. Now, it’s my turn to wine and dine her. To make her mine again.
 

“Sit,” I say.
 

She reluctantly takes a seat in the chair. The waiting staff I have hired for the night brings out a bottle of red wine and begins pouring each of us a glass. Alexa takes her glass as soon as it has been poured and downs it. I grab the bottle of wine and pour her some more smiling.
 

“The chef prepared a beautiful lamb shank tonight. I hope you will like it.”
 

“I’m sure it will be fine.” She smiles weakly at me before turning her attention to the sunset.
 

“It really is beautiful here. I’m glad you bought it. I think you will be very happy here.”
 

I reach over the table and grab her chin turning her to face me. “This is your home too. I got it for us.”
 

She nods as she fights back tears. “Ethan, I’m so sorry. I didn’t come here to reconcile our relationship. I came here ...”
 

“Shh,” I say as I reach my hand up to her lips to keep her from talking. “Let’s not talk about that right now. Let’s just enjoy our evening and then we can make those decisions. You haven’t even given me a chance to apologize properly yet.”
 

“Ethan, I accept your apology. I know everything you did was because you love and care for me, but that’s not enough anymore.”
 

I stare at her. She is not going to make this easy, but that’s not going to stop me.
 

“You love me, and I love you. We are married. That’s already enough.”
 

“Ethan, I’m sorry, but it’s not enough for me. I need more. I need to fall in love with somebody, not just love you out of obligation. I still want a divorce.”
 

“But you have fallen in love with me.”

She shakes her head. She lets the tears stream down her face as she speaks through them. “No. I tried. I tried so hard to fall in love with you. To be the perfect wife for you. To remember you, or at least, learn to love you again. It didn’t work.”
 

“It’s only been a few weeks, though. Give it more time. You’ll fall back in love again.”
 

“No ... I won’t. And I think you know why.”
 

My face grows dark with anger. Yes, I fucking know why. I try to keep the rage at bay. I try to bury it deep in my heart, but it explodes to the surface.
 

“Yes, because you have been fucking that asshole!”
 

Alexa trembles a little at my outburst as she continues to sob. “I’m so sorry. I’m a horrible person. I’ve hurt you so much, but I have to follow my heart. Life’s too short.”
 

“You’re fucking right you hurt me. You slept with another man when you were still married to me!”
 

“I didn’t know you were alive!”
 

“I’m not talking about then. I’m talking about last night!”

“What? What do you mean last night?”
 

“I had security follow you. I wanted to make sure you were safe since you wouldn’t stay with me.”

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t go there with that intention, but it happened. I won’t deny it. You have to understand I don’t consider us married. I don’t even really consider us a couple. I told you I wanted a divorce. I don’t know what else you need to hear to understand I can’t stay with you. I don’t remember who we used to be. All I know is who we are now.”
 

“It still doesn’t take away the fact that you cheated.”
 

She wipes the tears from her face. “You’re right. I did. I’m sorry for that. I’m deeply, truly sorry for hurting you. You deserve so much better. You deserve a woman who loves you. A woman who would really appreciate this house with you. A woman who enjoys dressing up and going to fancy parties. A woman who will be happy to be your wife and bear you kids. You deserve to be happy, but that’s not me.”
 

I watch as she stands from the table.
 

“I want a divorce. I’m filing the papers today. I don’t want your money or this house or anything really. But I do wish you a happy future filled with love. And I do hope that someday we can become friends again once the wounds stop hurting. We deserve to be able to honor the past that we both lived through together.”
 

I laugh as she tries to walk out on me. It stops her in her tracks hearing me laugh at her words.
 

“You’re not going to file for divorce.”
 

“Yes, I am.”
 

“No, you’re not. Not after you see the video.”
 

“What video?” she asks as she turns to face me again.
 

“The video that shows who Landon Davis really is.”
 

“What?”
 

I stand from the table and walk past her into the house. I walk past the kitchen and living space to the office at the far side of the house. I walk to the desk and pull the keys out of my pocket. I unlock the desk, happy to see that she followed me the whole time. She never once took her eyes off me.
 

I open the drawer and pull the flash drive with a file on it. I hold it up as I walk over to her.
 

“This is the reason you aren’t going to divorce me. Once you see what’s on this file, you will come back to me. You’ll realize you are in love with a monster. A monster who will destroy you. A monster I could squash like the little bug he is if I release this video to the public.”
 

I hand her the flash drive.
 

“So go home and watch it. Then tell me if you still want a divorce.” I walk closer to her so that I can smell the shampoo in her hair. Close enough that I could kiss her neck if I moved an inch closer. I breathe for a second and watch as chills run up and down her body. “Because if I see that you filed for divorce, I will release this video to the world. So I suggest you don’t.”
 

Alexa turns and glares at me.
 

“There is nothing on this,” she says holding up the flash drive, “that could make me stop loving Landon.”
 

“We will see, but if you do love him, you’ll make sure that video never goes public. Which means staying married to me.”
 

“I can’t believe it took me this long to realize you were the blackmailing asshole you are.”
 

I smile widely. “You have no idea how much of an asshole I can be.”
 

She turns and stomps out of the office and continues out of the house to her car. I don’t stop smiling, though. She’ll watch the video and then she will be back.

Find the key and remember everything ...

The prison guard hands me back my driver’s license, which I place back into my wallet inside my purse.

“You will need to leave all of your belongings in the locker here,” he says pointing to a small locker. I put my purse inside before closing it. I stare at the locker; maybe it will catch on fire while I’m gone destroying the flash drive Ethan gave me with it. I haven’t looked at it yet. It’s been three days since he gave it to me, but I can’t bring myself to look at it. Whatever is on it isn’t good.
 

I haven’t asked Landon what could possibly be on the flash drive that would damage him. Or how Ethan could have gotten such video footage. Actually, I’ve barely spoken to Landon these last three days. Every time I’ve called, he’s been rehearsing, or making an appearance, or performing at a concert. But I guess that’s the life of a musician and something I will eventually get used to.
 

I follow the prison guard back and take a seat on the small stool indicated for me to sit on at the long stretch of table. Each section divides into little stalls in an attempt to make each conversation feel more private, but it doesn’t feel private. You feel exposed as other visitors come in and take their seats waiting to speak with their loved ones. Except I’m not here to visit a loved one. I’m here to see my rapist.

I’m surprised he agreed to speak with me. I tried to set up a visit with Alfie King or any of his men, but they all refused to speak with me. Not my rapist, though. Maybe because his trial is over and he has accepted what happened to him. He’s currently serving a twenty-five-year sentence, which seems like a long time for a first-time rape.
 

I look around the room as I wait. It’s almost exactly the same as the room I visited James in. It has the same blue dividers. The white walls are beaten up and need a new coat of paint. I twist my stool slightly. The only difference is that my chair doesn’t squeak. I let my mind drift back to James as I wait.
 

I pick up the black phone as James sits down on the opposite side of the glass from me. He picks up the phone on his side. He looks sad in his orange jumpsuit. He looks scared. I’ve never seen James scared. He’s one of the bravest guys I know.
 

“How are you doing?” I ask feeling weird speaking into a phone when he is sitting right across from me.
 

“What are you doing here?” he asks not answering my question.
 

“I needed to see you. I’ve seen the video, but I don’t believe it.”
 

James shakes his head, but I see a hint of a smile forming. “Leave it to you to not believe what’s right in front of your face.”
 

“Sorry, I guess I just trust my gut more than the facts.”
 

“And what does your gut tell you?” James asks, his eyebrows raised.
 

I meet James’ eyes through the glass. “That you didn’t hurt me. You could never hurt me.”
 

James nods. “I could never hurt you, Alexa.”
 

“I don’t know how to help you.”
 

“You already did, by believing me. You’re the first person who has. Even my lawyer thinks I did it and should confess to get a lesser sentence.”
 

“Do they have anything on you except for the surveillance tapes?”

“I don’t think so.”
 

“Don’t confess. I’m going to try to figure out who did this to me,” I say staring at James’ sad eyes. The dark circles beneath them make him look like he’s aged ten years since the last time I saw him. “To us,” I correct myself. “I’m going to find him and I’m ...”
 

“Alexa Blakely, don’t do anything stupid. Let the police handle this. I don’t want anything else happening to you.”