Alice Isn't Well (Death Herself Book 1) (18 page)

“May the Lord have mercy!” Sister Julia shouted, holding up a Bible and a crucifix as she stepped toward the raging fire. “Be gone, foul -”

Suddenly the flames leaped out at her, causing her clothes to ignite and sending her staggering back, screaming as she desperately tried to get away from the heat. She bumped against two of the other nuns and the flames raced across them all, bringing more screams.

“Oh, that's not fair,” Hannah muttered, dragging Wendy along the corridor as flames darted after them. Pulling the girl into a nearby room, she turned and watched as flames licked the frame.

In the distance, from other parts of the building, more screams could be heard.

“He's a fire demon,” Hannah hissed, as she checked Wendy's neck for some sign of a pulse. “I shouldn't have picked a fight with a fire demon, not on the top floor of a goddamn wooden building.” Finding a pulse, she gently tapped the side of Wendy's face. “Hey, wake up,” she said firmly. She waited for a moment, before rolling her eyes and then slapping the girl as hard as she could manage. “Wake up!” she shouted.

Letting out a gasp of shock, Wendy opened her eyes.

“I'm getting you out of here,” Hannah continued. “This is all my fault. I did some checking into the background of that pilot we dealt with the other day, and it turns out he was one of the bravest, most decorated war heroes in British military history. So I got to wondering why he was suddenly clawing at you and trying to drag you down. That's when I realized, that's not what he was doing at all. He'd seen the demon enter your soul after the crash, and he was trying to save you.”

“My throat hurts,” Wendy whispered, reaching up and touching the side of her face, running her fingers across the thick blisters, some of which had burst and some of which were still filled with fluid. “What's happening to me?”

“You're being rescued by an idiot,” Hannah replied, turning and peering around the corner of the door. The corridor was still filled with flames and there were several burning corpses nearby, and as she felt intense heat on her face she pulled back and turned to Wendy again. “I came back for you,” she continued, trying to help the girl up. “It took me a while, but I came back. See? I'm not such a bad person. I can just be incredibly -”

Hearing a loud rumbling sound above, she looked up and saw that the wooden ceiling was starting to buckle.

“This is going to hurt,” she continued, turning back to Wendy and seeing that the girl still seemed shell-shocked. “Not for you, though, don't worry. Me. It's going to hurt me a lot for me.” Crawling over to her, she arched her back and tried to cover Wendy's trembling body as much as possible, wrapping her in a tight embrace. “He's going to want to get back inside you once this is all done,” she added. “I don't know why, but he seems really determined to hitch a ride with you. It's almost as if he thinks you're going somewhere interesting and -”

Stopping suddenly, she seemed lost in thought for a moment.

“Of course,” she said finally. “If he's mixed in with your soul when you die, that means he can tag along when you -”

Before she could finish, there was a loud creaking sound and she looked up just in time to see the entire ceiling crashing down. Leaning over Wendy, she covered the girl as best she could and braced herself, and a moment later huge timbers fell hard against her back, causing her to let out an agonized cry. More sections of the ceiling fell, some of them already burning, and then finally part of the stone wall collapsed, raining down on Hannah's shoulders and almost knocking her to the ground. Bracing herself, she stayed on top of Wendy, shielding the girl from all the falling debris, until she felt the floor starting to give way.

“No!” she shouted. “That's even less fair! You can't -”

The entire wooden floor suddenly collapsed beneath them. Wrapping her arms even more tightly around Wendy's shivering, damaged body, Hannah could do nothing to keep them both from falling down into the flames below, which had spread throughout the entire monastery.

“I've got you!” Hannah shouted, pulling Wendy tighter, trying as much as possible to envelop the girl in her arms and keep her safe.

Seconds later, they both crashed into the top of one of the lower walls. Hannah felt her back shudder as the impact sent them both toppling over the edge and through a wall of flames that had filled the old dining room. Landing hard against the stone floor, Hannah was still able to soften Wendy's landing somewhat, before immediately rolling to one side as more flaming debris crashed down next to them.

“I've got you,” she whispered again, getting to her feet despite the pain in her back and stumbling through the thick smoke, with Wendy in her arms. All around them, flames burned and masonry tumbled down, but she quickly managed to carry Wendy through a door at the far end of the devastated building and out into the courtyard. Screaming children had run outside and were being comforted by the few surviving nuns, but Hannah ignored them all and instead carried Wendy further away until they reached the far end of the old playground, at which point she finally dropped to her knees and paused for a moment. She was still holding Wendy tight, but she was too scared to look and see the extent of the damage to the girl's body.

She took a series of deep breaths, before realizing that she couldn't delay the moment any longer.

“Please,” she whispered, slowly loosening her hold and immediately feeling Wendy's limp form shift slightly, along with the sound of broken bones scraping against one another inside the girl's body.

Freezing for a moment, Hannah took another deep breath.

“Please,” she said again. “Please, don't do this.”

She leaned forward and began to set Wendy down, wincing every time she heard another broken bone beneath the girl's skin, or every time she saw more burned and ravaged flesh. She could smell the damage, and after a moment she saw that most of the Wendy's face had been burned raw, leaving nothing but scraps of blistered skin that were still burning in places. Holding Wendy's head up off the ground for a moment, she realized that there was no sign of life coming from the girl at all.

“Wendy?” she whispered, as the inferno continued to roar nearby. In the distance, fire engine sirens could be heard screaming closer, but Hannah paid no attention. Instead, she leaned closer to the little girl and allowed her damaged head to rest on the grass. “Wendy, it's me. Wendy, wake up.”

She waited.

Nothing.

“Wendy, this isn't right, okay? You can't die now, not like this.”

She waited again, and this time Wendy's eyes flickered slightly, revealing just a hint of her pupils.

“It's me,” Hannah continued, with tears in her eyes despite the broad smile she'd managed to force to her lips. “I came all this way to rescue you, so you'd better not die on me now. It'd be extremely rude. I came back for you. I never come back for people, it's kind of my thing to not come back, but I came back for you, okay?”

Wendy's lips moved a little, but no words came out.

“What's that?” Hannah asked, turning her head and moving her ear closer to the girl's mouth.

Wendy tried again, but her whisper was still too low.

“Thank you?” Hannah continued. “Is that what you're trying to say? Well, you're welcome, but there's really no need. Just doing my job.” She paused. “I just wish I'd got to you before the nuns set to work trying to help you. They really cut you up, huh?”

“It hurts,” Wendy whispered.

Hannah paused again, feeling as if her blood was running cold. “What hurts?” she asked finally.

“Everything.”

“Well, we'll fix you. Yeah, we'll fix you. I know some people.”

“I want to go home.”

“You keep saying that, but you don't have a home!”

“I want to go home.”

Sighing, Hannah looked over at the burning monastery and watched as the entire roof collapsed, sending a huge plume of smoke and flames up into the evening sky. “It's my fault,” she said finally. “I should have come and helped you sooner, but I was busy with other things. It never occurred to me that you might end up like this.” She turned to look back down at Wendy's face. “I'm not really a people person. There, I said it. I know that's a startling admission for someone whose job is basically...” She paused. “Well... Death. But that's not what's going to happen to you today, because I'm not going to let it, okay? You are
not
going to die.”

She waited for an answer.

“Wendy? Okay?”

The little girl's lips twitched slightly.

“Stay with me,” Hannah said firmly. “You're not allowed to go, I forbid it! I'm Death herself and I order you to keep breathing!” She checked again for a pulse. “He might be back inside you,” she continued, before turning to look back at the burning monastery, where the inferno had mostly died down. “He's certainly not there anymore, and I don't think he'd give you up so easily.” She looked down at Wendy again. Reaching out, she put a hand on the side of the girl's face, only for part of Wendy's remaining skin to slough off, revealing the burned meat beneath. “Kid,” Hannah continued, “I need you to say something. I need you to let me know you're okay, that you're gonna fight this. You can't die yet, not if the demon's back in your body.”

Reaching down, she felt once again for a pulse.

“Please,” she whispered. “Please, not yet.”

She paused.

As the monastery continued to burn nearby, Hannah sat with Wendy, cradling the dead girl in her arms.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Today

“Hold on,” Doctor Carrington said with a frown as he stared down at his notes, “back up a moment. You remember...” He scanned the page quickly. “You remember her carrying you out of the monastery -”

“I remember all of that,” Alice replied, leaning forward in her chair until the handcuffs ran tight and held her back. “You have to try to keep up! She carried me out of the burning monastery and she set me down on the lawn, and that's when...” She paused, fully aware of how crazy the story sounded. “That's when I died,” she added finally, with tears in her eyes. “I can't describe it any other way.”

“And you remember that moment?”

“Almost. I mean, I know it happened.”

“And you were a nine-year-old girl at that point?” He stared at her. “You were a nine-year-old girl named...
Wendy
?”

“You think I'm crazy.”

“I think you have a highly active imagination,” he replied. “Alice, when you collapsed at Harledon Wood retirement home, something seemed to change in terms of your thought processes. It's been two weeks now, and ever since that afternoon, you've been creating this increasingly elaborate fantasy about -”

“It's not a fantasy,” she said firmly, interrupting him, “and I'm not
creating
it, I'm
remembering
it. When Matthew Cooper showed me the photo of Wendy, it was like a dam broke in my mind and all these memories came flooding through. It's overwhelming and I'm struggling to put the pieces together, but I know it's all true. I really was that little girl, and all the things I've been remembering about the plane crash and Hannah and the monastery, they really happened.”

“Alice -”

“Did you check?”

He sighed.

“Last time we spoke,” she continued, “you promised you'd look it up and find out if there was a fire back in 1941, at a monastery on the site of the Barton's Cross shopping mall. So was there?”

“That doesn't prove anything,” he replied. “You could have looked that up and, consciously or subconsciously, based this entire fantasy around what you read.”

“How many people died?”

He paused.

“How many?” she asked again, with more urgency this time.

“Eight members of staff, including the Mother Superior.” He paused again. “And twenty-seven children.”

“Oh God,” she whispered, feeling a shiver passing through her chest. “Did you manage to get a list of the victims?”

“I did.”

“And was there a girl named Wendy?”

“There was, but -”

“That was me!”

He sighed again. “Alice -”

“It was me,” she said firmly. “I remember everything! What was the official explanation for the fire?”

“It was never determined,” he told her. “Whatever it was, it spread fast and it pretty much brought the entire building down.” He paused. “I suppose you're going to tell me that the fire was caused by a demon?”

“That's what happened.”

“Seriously?” he replied, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “A demon?”

“That's what they said. It's what Hannah said.”

“Ah, yes,” he continued, glancing at his notes for a moment, “the elusive Hannah. No surname still, I take it?”

“She never told me.”

“How convenient. And apart from a physical description that really doesn't narrow it down much, you've got nothing else that could help me track her down? Either the Hannah from 1941, or the Hannah from today?”

“They're the same person.”

“Which would make her, what, about ninety now?”

“Matthew told me she hasn't aged at all.” She leaned forward again, still restrained by the handcuffs. “Have you spoken to him? Even if you don't believe
me
, you can talk to him and he'll corroborate everything.”

“Alice -”

“Talk to him!”

“I can't. He's dead.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but the news struck her hard. “Dead?”

“He died last week, just a few days after you collapsed in his room. He passed peacefully, in his sleep. I'm sorry, maybe I should have told you sooner, but I was worried about upsetting you. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to speak to him properly, but even if he'd backed up everything you're telling me, that still wouldn't be cast-iron proof. In fact, your entire story is completely beyond the realm of rationality. Reincarnation isn't a real thing, Alice. No matter why and how strongly you identify with this Wendy girl, there's absolutely no way there can be any kind of...” He paused again, as if he was struggling to find the right words. “I hope you realize, Alice, that for as long as you continue to come out with this stuff, and for as long as I believe you pose a risk to yourself and to those around you, there's absolutely no way that I can sanction your release from this facility.”

“So I'm a prisoner here?”

“You're a patient on a non-voluntary basis.”

“So I'm back in hospital,” she continued,with tears in her eyes. “Do you remember when I was released, not much more than a month ago? I told you I wasn't ready to go out into the real world, and you told me I'd be fine.”

“Alice -”

“So now do you think I killed that police officer?”

He paused.

“At least answer me,” she added, on the verge of breaking down. “You owe me that. Do you think I killed him on that night ten years ago? You used to say I couldn't have done it, but have you changed your mind now?”

“You're being restrained,” he said cautiously, “because you've physically resisted care efforts on multiple occasions -”

“Answer the question.”

Another pause. “I think we have to consider all the possibilities.”

“Oh God,” she replied, lowering her head for a moment, as tears started running down her cheeks. “You
do
think I killed him.”

“I didn't say that.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“I didn't say that in so many words,” he added.

“Maybe you're right,” she continued finally, with her head still bowed. “Maybe the reason I don't remember that night is that my subconscious mind is trying to protect me from the horror of it all. Maybe I should stop resisting the idea.” Her bottom lip was trembling as she looked at him again. “Maybe this is what I am. A monster, a killer. Maybe you're right and all this stuff about Wendy and the war is just some kind of sick fantasy that I'm using to block out the truth.”

“I'm not saying that at all,” he replied, “I just... I think the only thing we can rule out here is the idea that you're somehow the reincarnation of a little girl who died seventy years ago. Do you understand why that idea is just too ludicrous to take seriously?”

She stared at him for a moment. “I know you're right,” she told him, swallowing hard, “but I can't deny what I feel. I
remember
what happened to Wendy, because it was me. I remember Hannah rescuing me, and I remember her holding onto me as we fell through the burning monastery, and I remember...” She paused. “I remember dying in her arms. I remember what it felt like. I remember all the weight leaving my body, and all the pain, and I remember feeling this sudden sense of peace. But there was something wrong, too, something...”

He waited for her to continue, and after a moment he made another note.

“There was something else in my mind,” she added finally, staring into space. “Something was folding itself into the dark with me, a kind of presence. Hannah mentioned it, she said it was hitching a life with me.” Looking down, she held out her hands for a moment. “Something that followed me, maybe. Something that stayed with me from that life to this.” Turning to Doctor Carrington, she saw the expression of incredulity on his face. “And then darkness. Nothingness. And now here I am, living another life.”

“These memories seem very real to you, don't they?”

“I'm not making any of it up.”

“I know that. I can tell you believe every word.”

“I believe it because I know it's true.”

He made some more notes. “This is a new and quite disturbing aspect to your condition, Alice. It's a big shift.”

“I'm not dangerous,” she replied, tugging on the handcuffs.

“I'm sure you're not.”

“Then at least let me be free.”

“In time.”

“Now.”

He shook his head.

“Because you don't trust me?” she asked.

“You tried to hit an orderly.”

“He was bringing me here.”

“On my orders.”

“Fine. Next time, I'll try to hit you.”

“Threats of violence won't help your case,” he told her firmly. “I think, Alice, that we need to give this process a little more time, and then, if these bizarre fantasies haven't faded by this time next week, we'll have to think about trying something more drastic.”

“Like what?”

He stared at her.

“Like what?” she asked again.

“Something I was hoping we'd never have to consider.”

***

“No!” she screamed a couple of weeks later, as she was strapped into the chair. “Stop!”

“Calm her down,” one of the nurses said firmly.

She tried to twist free, but a moment later she felt a needle sliding into her arm.

“It's for the best,” the nurse continued, smiling at her as she took some cotton wool, wet it slightly, and then began to dab at Alice's temples. “Electro-convulsive therapy has been shown to really help in cases like yours.”

“No!” Alice shouted, and despite the sedative she'd just been given, she continued to struggle for several more minutes, straining at the leather restraints that were holding her down. She was still conscious when they attached the electrodes, and when they threw the switch to fry her brain.