Alentejo Blue (2 page)

They were seventeen and hungry when they first met, in the back of a cattle wagon heading east to the wheatfields. Rui pulled him up without a word but later he said, ‘There’s work enough for all. That’s what I hear.’ João nodded and when the hills had subsided and the great plains stretched out like a golden promise he leaned across and said, ‘Anyone who wants work can find it.’ They moved their arses on the wooden slats and pretended they weren’t sore and looked out further than they had ever seen before, white villages stamped like foam on the blue, the land breaking against the sky.

On the third day they put down on the edge of a small town and the children who ran up to meet the wagon were bitten hard, no different from João’s brothers and sisters. João looked at Rui but Rui set his mouth and swung his legs over the side the same as the other men. The older ones got called and went to cut cork or plough the fields while João and Rui stood up tall with their hands in their pockets. João was so hungry he felt it in his legs and his hands and his scalp. They walked through the hovels, the women lining the doorways, the dogs nosing the gutters, and came to the centre. ‘We’ll stick together,’ said Rui. He had green eyes and a fine nose and white skin, as though he had never been out in the sun.

‘If someone wants us he’ll have to take us both,’ said João, as if he were master of his destiny.

They scrounged half a loaf at the café by scrubbing the floor and humping the rubbish to the tip and slept on the cobbled street with their mouths open. When he woke, the first thing João saw was Rui’s face. He thought the pain in his stomach was pure hunger.

Side by side they scavenged and slept. They milled about with the other men waiting for work and learned a lot: how to eke out a few words to last a conversation, how to lean against a wall, how to spit and how to fill up on indifference.

At the top of the square was a two-storey building with bars on the bottom window. João had never seen a prison before. The prisoners sat in the window and talked to friends or received food from relatives. One day a dozen or more people had gathered. João and Rui had nothing else to do.

‘He talks about sacrifice. Who is making these sacrifices, my friends? Ask yourselves.’

No one looked at the prisoner. They were just hanging around waiting, though there was nothing to wait for.

The prisoner clutched the bars and pressed his face to them. His nose escaped. ‘Salazar,’ he said, ‘is not making sacrifices.’

There was a general stirring as if fear had blown in on the dry wind.

‘Listen to me,’ said the prisoner. His face was thin and pinched as though he had spent too long trying to squeeze it out of the narrow opening. ‘In the whole of the Alentejo four families own three-quarters of the land. It was like this too in other countries, like Russia. But now the Russian land belongs to the Russian people.’

Each man averted his face from every other. It was not safe to read another’s thoughts.

João glanced at Rui. Rui did not know what the others knew, or was too reckless to care. He looked directly at the prisoner.

‘The people make the wealth, but the wealth does not belong to the people.’

Men withdrew their hands from their pockets as if emptying their savings before leaving town. The prisoner slid his fingers between the bars and flapped his wrists. ‘It is forbidden for us to go barefoot. Salazar forbids it.’ The man laughed and the laugh was as free as the body was caged. ‘Look, this is how we must bind our feet. As long as our feet are in slippers and rags, our bellies must be full.’

An old man with a bent back, obliged to gaze at feet the long day through, grunted a loud assent. A younger man, blinking back tears of fury, said, ‘It is true.’

The prisoner tipped back into the dark cell as though wrenched by some unknown force, perhaps by the darkness itself. Each free man discovered he had something to do elsewhere.

‘Rui,’ said João, ‘we better go.’

Rui stood with his hands on his hips and tossed his head like a bullfighter. ‘It’s finished,’ said João. He grabbed Rui’s elbow and dragged him away.

Later a man came to the square and beckoned João. ‘You want to work?’

‘Anything,’ said João. ‘Please.’

‘Come,’ said the man and turned around.

‘My friend,’ said João, looking over at Rui who whistled and kicked his heels against the wall.

The man kept walking.

‘Wait,’ called João. ‘I’m coming.’

He looked up and saw Rui’s hat on a large stone, bathed in a circle of milky light. He imagined Rui sitting there, taking off his hat for the last time.

João’s spine was stiff and there was an ache in his chest. He shifted in the damp grass and looked across and saw how oddly Rui’s legs were lying. His trousers were hemmed with mud. One boot faced down and the other faced up. For us, thought João, there can be no ease.

He had been there as usual on Thursday, outside the Junta da Freguesia for the game. Everyone was there: José, Manuel, Nelson, Carlos, Abel and the rest. Only Mario did not come because Mario had broken his hip. ‘That Manuel,’ said Rui, ‘is a cheating bastard.’ ‘That Rui,’ said Manuel, ‘is a stupid donkey.’ Everything went on the way it had for the past eighteen years, since Rui turned up in Mamarrosa, though Rui and João had been the young ones then. ‘Carlos,’ said Abel, ‘you bowl like a woman.’ ‘Shut up,’ said Carlos, ‘what do you know about women?’

Malhadinha
was the best way for men to talk. You rolled the balls out on to the green and rolled the words out after them. You didn’t have to face each other.

Afterwards they locked the balls in the Junta and went to the café to drink.

‘My granddaughter wants to go to Lisbon,’ said José.

‘My son left London and went to Glasgow,’ said Rui.

‘My daughter,’ said Carlos, ‘says she will throw me out if I cough once more in the night. But she always says that.’

When it was time to go to bed João walked with Nelson and Rui walked with Manuel. Sometimes João walked with Manuel. Sometimes he walked with José or Antonio or Mario. But in all those years he never walked alone with Rui.

João thought he did not want to be the one to return Rui’s hat to his wife. He thought and thought about what to do. A bird flew down and landed on the hat’s ridge. It was gold with a black head and black feet. João had never seen a bird like that before and he knew it was a sign that he should keep the hat. Then he remembered about Rui’s wife. Dona Rosa Maria had died not last year but the year before that. The day they buried her was a scorcher. July the fourth: memorial day of Isabella of Portugal, patron saint of difficult marriages and the falsely accused.

When they met for the second time they were men.

João passed the greenshirt parade in the Praça Souza Prado and climbed the steps up to the Rua Fortunato Simões dos Santos, heading for his favourite bar. At the top of the steps he turned and watched as a boy marched out of the ranks and raised his right arm in the infamous salute. João went into the bar and saw Rui. His skin had darkened and his nose was no longer fine (it looked as though it had been broken) but João knew it was Rui because he brought back the pain in his stomach.

He was talking, drawing people in from the corners of the room. ‘All I am saying is that a man who owns ten thousand hectares or more and dines on six courses twice a day is living a life of excess. Doesn’t the Public Man himself tell us we must restrain our desires?’ Rui wore a check shirt, a frayed jacket and his hair dangerously long: it came to within an inch of his collar. ‘Nobody can contradict Salazar.’

‘But you speak like a . . . a . . .’ the man sitting opposite Rui dropped his voice, ‘a communist.’

‘“From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.” That’s what
they
say.’ Rui waved his hand. ‘Whoever heard such nonsense? Why should a man work according to his ability? Why should a man receive according to his needs? Imagine what would happen if people took this nonsense into their heads! Álvaro Cunhal –’ he let the name of the Communist Party leader hang for a while – ‘must rot in his cell for ever.’

João knew what Rui was doing. He could see by the way the others shifted and glanced around that they knew too.

‘We are with the other side,’ said Rui. He looked up and saw João and something passed across his face. ‘Blackshirts and greenshirts stick together.’

‘Excuse me,’ said a little vole of a man sitting by the window, ‘but do you accuse Salazar of fascism?’

‘Accuse?’ said Rui. ‘I certainly accuse him of nothing. In 1945, when he decreed all flags to fly at half mast as a sign of respect for our dear departed Hitler I saluted him. We supported the Germans so of course it was a sad day for us all.’

‘But no,’ cried the little man with his lips aquiver, ‘we weren’t with anybody.’

‘Oh,’ said Rui stroking his nose, ‘I forget. But nevertheless I am sad when I am told to be sad.’

It was 1951, the third year João passed in Lindoso with his sister, her husband, their four children and the husband’s brother, mother and aunt in a long, low house with three doors and one window. In the season he cut cork and when the season was over he did whatever he could. Over the years he had been a grape picker, an olive picker, a goatherd; a tanner of hides in Olhão, a labourer on the roads in Ourique, and a gutter of fish in Portimão.

He tried to warn Rui. ‘There are spies,’ he said. ‘Informers. That little man with the shrunken head, how does he make his living? Nobody knows.’

Rui shrugged. He felt his nose, pinching down from the bridge to the tip. He could never get used to his nose. ‘The PIDE pays him, I am sure. These secret police are not so secret.’

‘Please,’ said João. ‘Be careful.’

Rui cast his line again into the dark waters of the Mira. ‘Nobody speaks more highly of Salazar than me.’

He had been in France after the war, with all the other illegals, working the construction sites. He learned to read and write. ‘
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
,’ he said. ‘In France,’ he said, ‘a man has rights. He has dignity. He has respect.’

‘He has freedom,’ said João. He sat down on the riverbank.

Rui sat next to him. In the cafés and bars you could not talk freely. Out here there was privacy.

João could hear Rui breathing. He could hear his heart beating, or perhaps that was his own heart, banging in its cage. He looked in Rui’s face and for a long moment they held each other’s gaze. Rui looked away, as he always did.

‘For the love of God,’ said João.

‘Tell me about Portimão,’ said Rui.

In the months since they found each other in the Rua Fortunato Simôes dos Santos, João had told it many times. Rui wanted to know everything about the sardine-processing factory. The worker who read out articles from
Avante!
– who had grassed on him? What, exactly, did he look like? Was João sure he did not come from Aljustrel, because he sounded like a Comrade Rui had met there. He wanted to know as well: did the men respond? Were they interested in joining the Party? Did they see that the means of production should be owned by the people? Did they understand about surplus value?

João did not like to think about the factory. Rui kept making him describe the workers’ barracks. There the smell was, if anything, worse than the main building. The floor was a permanent slime: the result of loose tiles, faulty drains, blocked souls.

‘There’s nothing more to tell,’ said João. What would happen if he put his hand on Rui’s cheek? Just to think about it made him tremble.

‘The barracks,’ said Rui, ‘did it bring men closer, living together like that?’

‘No,’ said João harshly. He thought about the men he had known there, who came to his bunk at night, who had wives waiting at home, children to be fed.

‘All right,’ said Rui. ‘Let’s be quiet then. We are not afraid of silence.’

They looked down at the Mira, the never-ending pilgrimage of water, moving blindly, relentlessly on. A rowboat went by. Rui touched his hat.

João turned his head to Rui. Rui would not look at him. João kept waiting, out of spite. If he put his hand between Rui’s legs, if he led him up a dark alley and turned round, if he took him into the woods and dropped to his knees and kept his eyes down – these things Rui would accept. João wasn’t having it. His desire was so strong it felt like hate.

‘Salazar,’ said Rui, who was, after all, afraid of silence, ‘has not told a single truth from the day he was born. If he tells you that the sun will rise in the east, you know it will rise in the west. But we keep pretending to believe his lies. That’s the problem with our people. If you pretend for long enough, you forget you were only pretending in the first place. The illusion becomes a kind of reality.’ He looked underneath his jacket where he had thrown it down and found the tin of bait and then began to wind in his line. ‘It’s like me. I didn’t start coming to the river to fish, but now I think I’m a fisherman.’

‘Why did you come then?’ said João, wanting to hear it.

‘I’ll tell you something,’ said Rui, finally letting his eyes meet João’s. It was safe now that he was standing. ‘Salazar has told so many lies that his tongue has begun to rot. Really, it is what I heard. That’s why he likes to hide away. Yes, my friend, it is true. This is true: Salazar’s tongue is black.’

Not long after, they took him far away, to Porto. Within a day or two it was known over the town that the address of the PIDE headquarters in Porto was 329 Rua de Heroismo. It was said that the back door connected with a cemetery.

João’s nephew who was in the Portuguese Youth, drilling every Wednesday and Saturday afternoon with a wooden gun, said, ‘Will they nail his wee-wee to the wall?’

‘Get out,’ said João. ‘Is that what they teach you? Get out.’

Everybody knew the stories. They beat a pregnant woman on the belly. They burned a man’s hands and threw him out of the top-floor window. They made prisoners do ‘the statue’, standing by a wall for ten days at a time with only their fingertips touching it. Everybody knew the stories. The children seemed to know them first.