Aisling Gayle (59 page)

“
Love!
” Maggie mouthed, her eyes looking up to the ceiling.

“Jameson is a far better, far more decent man that Oliver Gayle will ever be.” She moved her hand up to touch the red, tender mark on her cheekbone. “I only came back from America because I was a coward – because I hadn’t the guts to stay! I was too afraid to go against
you.
I was afraid of my own mother! A mother who would have me suffer a lying, cheating husband who has no respect for me.”

Maggie lifted the end of her apron up and rubbed her eyes. “Don’t talk about suffering to me! There’s nobody knows more about – every day that I have to go into that shop and face all the tittle-tattling customers is a penance to me.” She gave another sob and then stabbed her finger in Pauline’s direction. “And that’s the one that’s brought us all down into the gutter – and that’s where we may stay when word of this business gets around!”

Aisling buttoned her coat up. “I’m sorry I have to leave you here, Pauline,” she said quietly. “You shouldn’t have to take this kind of treatment. Maybe when Oliver has his stuff all gone, you and Bernadette might want to come over and stay until we’ve sold the house. It would do Bernadette no harm to get out of this bitter atmosphere.”

Pauline felt a hot rush of guilt sweep over her. How could she have done such a terrible, terrible thing to her sister, who had always looked out for her? “You have enough to think of, looking after yourself,” she said quietly.

Aisling walked over to the door. “You won’t need to worry about me causing you any embarrassment,” she said to her mother, “because I’ll keep well out of your way. I can manage just grand on my own.”

Maggie looked back at her – her eyes puffy and her face chalk-white. “All I ever prayed for was a normal family life – the way most people around here live. For everybody to get on, and for everybody to live by the Church’s rules. Surely that wasn’t too much to ask for?”

Aisling held her mother’s gaze for a moment. “All I ever prayed for was love and respect in my marriage – and that was obviously far too much for me to ask for.”

Then, without a backward glance, Aisling Gayle walked out of the kitchen – and out of her mother’s house without knowing whether she would ever return.

Chapter 45

Aisling stood looking out of her bedroom window at the white garden – the grass and shrubs covered in an early November snow. Her gaze shifted to take in the
For Sale
sign in the middle of the white lawn. The man from the auctioneers’ office would be out later in the afternoon to take the sign away.

And that would be it. The end of her life in this house.

Aisling sighed and, as she did so, a tiny fluttering feeling made her hand move to the slight bulge in her stomach. It was so ironic. All the carry-on when she and Oliver had split up a couple of months ago. Only for her to find out that it was she who was pregnant – as opposed to the scheming Jacinta.

And pregnant with Jameson Carroll’s child.

After that awful day when her world collapsed, she had decided that it was up to her to take the reins of her life. And she did so immediately.

Oliver had moved out – eventually accepting that there was no hope for their marriage – and any communications were now through solicitors and auctioneers. Oliver had also put the shop up for sale, and had engaged a manager in the interim to allow him to move back to Dublin while he decided what he was going to do in the long run.

The house was now more or less sold, with the people hoping to move into it in late January. Shortly after Christmas, Aisling planned to move to Mullingar or maybe Naas – she had seen suitable houses in both places, and was still looking around. Wherever it was, it would be close to a town centre that would allow her to walk around easily with a pram. Depending on how things went, Pauline and Bernadette would join her. She knew Mullingar would suit Pauline as it was the area where Jack lived and she could see him and his little girl more regularly – but it would all depend on finding the right house.

No doubt it would give the local people something to talk about – two sisters with children and no husbands – but she would deal with that as it arose. The same as she would deal with the school.

It was sad but inevitable that her teaching career would have to go for the foreseeable future. She would tell her head-teacher coming up to Christmas, explaining about her marriage break-up and her pregnancy, omitting the fact that Oliver was not the father. That was something no one would even
think
to question.

As yet, no one apart from Pauline knew about Aisling’s pregnancy, and Aisling planned to keep it that way as long as possible. Relations had not been repaired with her mother yet – and Aisling had no idea if they ever would be. Maggie still blamed Aisling for the way things had turned out, and could not come to terms with the marital
break-up. No matter what had happened, her mother believed that Aisling should have kept on trying. And strangely enough, after years of being terrified of crossing her mother – it actually upset her far less than she had imagined.

In fact, there was a sense of freedom about the whole thing. A feeling of no longer having to gauge how her mother or other people would react. A feeling of at long last living her own life – and not having to live the life other people thought she should.

Her father had been out to visit her on a number of occasions, and had told her not to worry, that Maggie would eventually come round. “She loves you all,” Declan had said, giving a weary sigh, “in her own way. It’s just that she finds it hard to go against the Church’s views on anything.”

Of course, there would be more upset and accusations when Maggie learned of Aisling’s pregnancy, but it would be have to be dealt with. She couldn’t pull the wool over Maggie’s eyes regarding the child’s father, because Oliver had well and truly given her no option there.

And anyway – after the initial shock – Aisling was delighted that she had gained something wonderful from her love affair in America. What she had felt for Jameson Carroll was something she knew she would never, ever, experience again in her whole life. She knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime love she was lucky to have known. And whatever happened – and however hard it was bringing up a child on her own – she would never regret it.

She looked out of the window again, and then she saw a little bird land on top of the
For Sale
sign.

She quietly opened the window to see better and, when she recognised the bird, she smiled to herself. It was the same type of small bird – a goldcrest – that she had watched in the summer. Just before her trip to America. She stood for a while, watching it flit about from the post to a small pine tree and back again, then she eventually made herself shift to get on with sorting out things for the move.

* * *

Some time later Aisling heard the gate banging and then the sound of footsteps coming up the path.
The Auctioneer,
she thought grimly – a good few hours later than he had said. She sighed to herself, and rose up from the sofa and moved quickly to the front door to let him in.

Her hand was on the latch when she realised there was not only one auctioneer, but two. She could see the two figures through the frosted panel on the front door. She straightened h
er woollen pinafore over her stomach and smoothed down her hair. Not that anyone would notice her little bump, but already she was becoming more conscious of it.

Then, she opened the door. And suddenly – she was rooted to the spot.

Her eyes travelled upwards as she looked at the taller of the pair standing on the snowy step. When she recognised him, she felt her whole body start to shake.

“Ash – leen!” an excited voice said, and then there was the clapping of hands. “We’ve – we’ve found you . . .”

She turned and there, beaming back at her, was a healthy, fully recovered Thomas. Her hand flew to cover her mouth, from which not one word would come.

“Hello, Ash-leen,” the boy said, a grin from ear to ear.
“Me and Dad – we flew to Ire-land on the – on the plane.”
He came towards her now and gave her a delighted bear
hug.

Then Jameson Carroll moved forward – a cautious look on his face – the tanned, handsome face that Aisling had touched every inch of. “Can we come in, Aisling . . . please? I’ll explain all this to you when we get inside.”

But Aisling couldn’t move. Her feet were glued to the spot. And although her body had come to a standstill, her mind was racing.
No, no, no!
she thought.
This can’t be happening . . . I can’t go through this all again!

“Please, Aisling,” Jameson said, “you need to hear what I have to say . . .” He gently guided her into the hallway, out of the worst of the cold.

“What.” she finally croaked, “what about Verity? The terrible letter she sent me . . .”

“It was all lies,” he explained in a low voice. “You know how devious she is. She followed us back up to the lake and somehow must have wheedled your address out of Jean. I got rid of her as quickly as I could.” He glanced towards Thomas, afraid of hurting his feelings by talking badly about his mother – but the boy was now occupied looking around the garden. “Verity only stayed a couple of days. I had to let her for Thomas’s sake – but I knew nothing about her writing to you and I’m so goddamn sorry she did.”

He looked at Aisling now, waiting for some kind of reaction. When there was none, he carried on with the explanations. “Shortly after you left I called over to Jean, and she told me
that you were working things out with your husband . . . then she told me about the plans you were making to adopt a child.”

Aisling closed her eyes and shook her head.

“So,” Jameson shrugged, “I reckoned that I was out of the picture . . .”

“That was never the case,” Aisling whispered. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

“And I,” he said, looking deep into her eyes – the way he had looked at her so many times back in Lake Savannah – “have never stopped loving you.”

“What happened,” Aisling asked. “What made you change your mind and come looking for me?”

“The Christmas figure,” he said, grinning.

“Jean found it in the bedroom, and rang your folks to ask whether you would like it posted to have it for Christmas. She spoke to your sister, and I guess she told her all that had happened to you.”

“Did Pauline tell her e
verything?”
Aisling whispered, glancing down at her stomach. “Did she mention about the baby?”

“
Our
baby . . .” Jameson said, a sudden catch in his voice. “I just can’t believe it . . . I reckon it’s something I wouldn’t have dared dream about.”

“There’s no mistake,” Aisling told him firmly, lest there be even the slightest hint of doubt. “You’re the only person I’ve slept with since we met, and anyway, it’s turned out that there’s no way Oliver could have fathered a child with any woman . . . ”

“We can talk about all that stuff later,” Jameson told her gently, running a finger down the side of her face. “Whatever your sister told her, it was enough to make Jean come straight across to our house. She reckoned that I needed to know just how things stood. She told me all about Verity’s letter and about how you were now living on your own.” He looked down at the bump now, and smiled broadly. “Apart from this little crittur here!”

Aisling smiled and nodded, things now falling into place.

“So,” Jameson said, “after the whole goddamn mix-up – here we are! Thomas and I reckoned that we’d best come and see you and straighten a few things out – see if we could get us all four of us back out and settled in Lake Savannah for Christmas .”

Hearing the word
Christmas,
Thomas came back rushing
back over to Aisling. “And – Mother and Father – Christmas
– they’re back home!” he said beaming. “They’re
waiting – for you!” He held his thumb up excitedly.

“I can’t believe it!” Aisling said, covering her face. “I feel as if this is all a dream!”

Jameson smiled at her. “This cold sure isn’t a dream,” he said wrapping his arms around her, “and I think we’d better come inside properly or we’ll freeze.” He put a hand on Thomas’s shoulder. “What d’you say, buddy? Should we stay outside here until you’re covered in snow like the Christmas figures?”

Thomas’s head bobbed up and down in laughter at the joke.

Then, as Aisling finally ushered them inside and went to close the door behind them – she spotted the goldcrest again and she gave a little smile to herself.

She had finally found her own wings. It was now time for Aisling Gayle to fly away.

THE END