AgeofInnocence (5 page)

He reached for the bed covers and pulled them back. Cupping
her bottom, he slowly sat up while she curled closer to him. He had never
before been entwined in such a way with a woman and debated the gentlemanliness
of waking her. He scooted, stood, bent and finally deposited her into his bed
where she promptly curled into a ball.

Something in his chest grew until it pained him to take a
breath. After he pulled the cover over her shoulders, he couldn’t help but
stare.

His wife.

Green eyes.

A happy spirit.

Fulfilled lusts.

Contentment.

Tomorrow was Monday. He would need to arrange for flowers.

* * * * *

When Ferd suggested they leave for Brighton, Lettie was
particularly happy with the decision. As with each of her marriages, finding
the time to know her spouse was a difficult endeavor, especially when other
amusements could take so much of their attention.

The travel to Brighton was an easy jaunt by any standard and
Ferd had preferred to ride in the carriage with her over traveling by
horseback. A second carriage held their luggage along with her lady’s maid and
Ferd’s valet.

“The house belonged to my grandmother. I inherited it at her
death.”

“And you were her favorite?”

Her husband, she noticed, blushed easily.

“She would never admit it, nor I, but I was goaded quite
deliberately by my brothers over the years, claiming that I was indeed favored.
I had always hoped to settle in Brighton permanently but now…”

“You have more properties than you know what to do with,”
she said.

“
You
have properties,” he said.

“Also acquired by marriages to wealthy spouses. Does it
bother you?” By bits, she understood her husband. Even though Ferd was entitled
to all her properties, she had never considered how certain men might feel a
blow to their pride.

Maybe it was worse for Ferd—the difference in their station
was pronounced but not unacceptable.

“Does it bother you to have married with no hopes of being a
countess or duchess again?”

“It does not. You might be titled someday.” She also knew
ton
etiquette and it was likely she would be called duchess for the remainder of
her life, regardless of her current marital situation.

“If two brothers and three nephews pass on before me?”

“I would never wish for such a thing. Maybe this is all I
have ever really aspired to—a kind husband and a home in the country.”

“You would be the first woman in London to have such a
goal.”

“Do I please you, Ferd?”

Again the blush. She would never have imagined Ferdie Ford
was anything other than a
ton
rake—a rather private one at that—but all
of her instincts told her it was something much simpler and much rarer.

“Yes, you please me. I told you we would not be unhappy.”

“And I told you we would be deliriously happy, but we are
not there yet, are we?”

He turned his face toward the window. “You said
you
would be deliriously happy.”

“Can
we
not be?” she asked.

“I don’t know a word more delirious than deliriously.” He
gazed at her again. “I’m past whatever that word is.”

Lettie contemplated his words, feeling a bit of warmth
encircle her heart, but said nothing more—unless it was to answer one of those
banal questions that often occur during long carriage rides. Those questions,
however, tended to reveal much about a person’s character so she listened
closely, wanting to know all she could about the honorable Mr. Ford.

Again she wondered if he had been a virgin. The thought had
been tickling at her conscience but the possibility seemed so farfetched.

What young nobleman did not do everything he could to bed as
many women as possible prior to his marriage? And after? Yet he’d sworn
adamantly there would never be another woman.

The home was all she imagined based on Ferd’s incomplete
description. The surrounding woods seemed vast and the Channel was only two
miles from the house. It was a rectangular home with twelve rooms and a long,
narrow kitchen, which housed two cooks who were already busy preparing the next
meal.

Ferd introduced her to the rest of his staff—two cleaning
women—mother and daughter—along with a butler of sorts and two young stable
boys who stayed in a small building near the horse barns. There were several
horses, which surprised her. He had not mentioned that he housed a large stable
of very beautiful mares and a headstrong stallion that pranced around the lot
when they went out to inspect the property.

When they sat down to supper, her plate was next to his, to
the right, instead of at the other end of the table.

He came to the table without a cravat but clean-shaven.
Curls at the back of his head were still wet.

He kissed her forehead, helped her to her seat and then
supper was laid out.

“Everything is wonderful, Ferd.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Had I known, I would have insisted we come at once. I can
imagine being ensconced here with you for several months,” she said.

“I hope you won’t be bored.”

Boredom was the least of her worries. Lettie had pondered
her husband’s motives for suggesting Brighton. She hoped it was because he
wanted to be with her, a novel experience after competing with her other
husbands’ affections for dogs, hunting, gaming and drink. She had a moment of
regret for her uncharitable thoughts—she had been well compensated regardless
of the lack of fulfillment she’d experienced.

Supper started with a delicious corn chowder and sourdough
rolls, followed by ham, potatoes and asparagus. Custard was the final dish and
it was doused in strawberries and cream. Lettie couldn’t help but squeal in
delight at the first taste—she knew her lush figure proclaimed her love of
sweets. Ferdie didn’t seem to mind.

The sun was only just setting, but Ferd’s gaze kept finding
hers, which she answered with a smile.

“Would you like to walk in the garden?” she asked, which she
hoped would be a short walk followed by the suggestion they retire to his
bedchamber. They had much to experience as husband and wife—last night was only
a taste of what she knew could be a feast of delights.

Ferd thanked the help, escorted her out the back door and
led her around the house. He was faultlessly polite—his actions and words
polished to a gentlemanly shine.

“Grandmother had the gardens designed by a master and then
she insisted on adapting it each year to something she liked better. Over there
is a group of shrubs trimmed like animals. Would you like to see it?”

There were about ten animals—a large cat, a cow, some beast
she could not name and a menagerie of other carefully trimmed bushes.

“We played here as boys. Gram made the most wonderful shortbread,
the only thing she ever made in the kitchen.”

Lettie clutched his hand and let him reminisce.

“Maybe we will have boys playing here one day.”

He smiled but looked away. “We will pray so.”

She stopped, sensing his hesitancy. “Ferd, what is it?”

Ferd took a deep breath, his brows drawing together. “I had
assumed there was the possibility you couldn’t…”

“Because I was married twice and having nothing to show for
it?”

“Am I being unkind to ask?” he asked.

“Was that why you were afraid to marry me?”

Ah, so he had not heard. She did not realize she was
considered childless, but how would a young man of his station know?

“I had a son with my first husband. His name was Augustus,
for his father. He died of cholera two months after my husband died.”

“Lettie, I’m sorry.” They stopped. Ferd touched her
shoulder.

“We were in Ireland at the time. It was not widely known and
one does get tired of the pitying glances. I believe I can have children.”

She tried not to think of it. Of course she loved her son
but she also knew death was a part of life and her hope had always been that a
second child would erase the lingering sadness. When her second marriage had
ended without issue, she’d had to turn her mind to other pursuits.

A third marriage had not been her ideal. She did not want to
endure another sad ending.

“Would you accept one more pitying glance before I ask your
forgiveness again?” He gripped both her hands and kissed her lips. He drew away
and stared into her eyes before he bent a second time and kissed her longer,
lingering while she kissed him back. They stood for several minutes. Each kiss
stole a little more of her breath and she could tell it was having the same
effect on Ferd.

“It’s getting late. Should we retire to our chambers?” she
asked. He acknowledged her with one more kiss and a hard gaze that promised
something wonderful.

Inside the house, everyone seemed to have disappeared. The
candles were dimmed to a few remaining flames. Only the faint sound of clanging
could be heard from the kitchen.

For the first time since their marriage, they entered a
bedchamber together.

“Let me,” she said, as she turned in his arms and unbuttoned
his shirt. She spread the halves wide and pressed her lips to his chest,
inhaling his scent as she kissed and licked his skin.

Behind her back, he tugged at the lacings of her dress,
freeing her as she had him.

“It was important to me to be here,” he said. “Thank you for
agreeing.”

“I wasn’t about to be parted from my new husband.” The
warmth of his palms seeped through her where his hands lay on her shoulders.

“Someday you will want to be.”

“Someday I will
need
to be, but that won’t mean I
want to be separated.”

“Is this important to you?” His gaze swept the room and the
bed. “If you never found another moment of satisfaction in that bed, would you
hate me for it? Would you take a lover?”

“I’ve never had a lover, Ferd, not like you mean. But I know
how to find my own pleasure, I think, not unlike you might if you were lonely.”

He frowned. “You can do that?”

“Come.” She tugged at his hand, leading him deeper into the
intimacy she had planned. “We know there is satisfaction now and I think we
ought to enjoy it. The time is short, Ferd. I must experience all life has
because it gets taken away so quickly. I will not be denied one moment of
happiness with you.”

They both worked to remove her dress and stays and shoes and
stockings until she was naked. She searched at his trousers, wanting him to be
free of clothing too.

“No. Leave them for now.”

In the circle of his embrace, she wrapped her arms about his
neck, encouraging more of his kisses. Her breasts were snug against his chest.
At her waist, his hands spanned the curves, tracing downward and caressing her
hips.

His grip tightened and she glanced at his face. Confusion
and discomfort marred his expression. “I don’t know how to please you.”

“You please me greatly.” She caressed his face, her thumb
soothing along his lower lip. How could she explain her marriages? That her
position as the wife of two rich noblemen was comfortable but not passionate.

“But not as you are accustomed.”

“Every man is different. Every union more so.”

“How will I know if you are satisfied with me?”

“In bed?”

He nodded.

What a strange notion. She’d always thought men had a
natural confidence in bed, or if not that exactly, at least a certain unconcern
about anything but their satisfaction. A woman was the vessel for release—care
and protection of that vessel seemed optional.

Showing him was the easiest way. She placed her hands over
his and guided them up her body, fitting his large hands over her breasts.
“This pleases me.”

His palms were warm. Whatever his concern, it was ill-founded.
Already he kneaded with slow deliberation, her nipples rasping against the
middle of his palm.

“And if you are kissing me while you do it…” She winged a
brow in encouragement.

Lettie accepted his slow deliberation with both humor and
curiosity. When he finally pressed his lips to hers, she stepped back, leading
him toward the bed, which had been turned down. At the edge of the mattress,
she pulled out of his arms and slid back, leaning on her side.

He sat down and reached for his boots.

For her, it was an odd feeling to be watched with such
intense regard, as if everything she did fascinated him. His touch was never hurried.
When he lay beside her on the bed, he caressed the round of her hip but his
gaze searched, lingering here and there.

His chest was hard. She traced her fingers over the smooth
roundness of his muscles. Beneath her palm, his heart beat a frantic rhythm
that surprised her. She smiled and glanced at him.

“It is about to burst from my chest,” he said.

“Why?”

“Do you not feel the same?”

“Right now? No. I feel peaceful, as if this was always meant
to be.”

“You are so beautiful,” he said. “More beautiful than any
woman I know.”

She would never grow tired of hearing him say so. He traced
his hand down her leg and back up again. When he caressed her stomach, she
rolled to her back.

“I think I have never seen anything so wonderful,” he said.
He leaned and pressed his mouth low on her belly. “I want all of you.”

His words were as arousing to her body as his touch.
Practiced seduction was not Ferd’s way. Approaching her with slow caresses and
kind words made her body weep with want. Inside, she ached to be filled.

“Take off your trousers, Ferd. I want to see all of you
too.” She slipped the first button but his hands were there, batting hers away,
and he quickly worked free.

He rolled on top of her, body to body. For the first time
they touched completely. Between their bodies, his hard cock pressed against
her soft skin.