Agent Provocateur (8 page)

‘Well, can’t you go on your own and I’ll wait here?’ He is teasing her. He knows he will go with her. He knows that he is grateful for any time she gives him. It does not annoy him, it is merely fact.

‘Eddie, I might have to get cross.’

‘OK, you win. Where are we going?’

‘Selfridges, of course. Where else?’

Grace kisses him hard, to thank him, which he appreciates. He puts on the coat he discarded half an hour ago, and they leave. They get into his car; a TVR Tuscan, his pride and joy. Grace teases him about the car, saying it is a ‘chick magnet’, and Eddie responds by saying if that were the case he’d have had her knickers off in there long before now. Grace kisses him when he says this. There is no way there is room in a TVR Tuscan for her long legs.

They park, having crawled through the Saturday traffic, and go to Grace’s favourite store.

Two hours later they go and get a coffee in the bar.

‘Christ, Grace, I’m knackered.’

‘Just how I like my men, completely tired out.’ She smiles as she looks at the bright yellow shopping bags lying loyally at her feet. She has bought herself some trendy outfits; perfect to wear when Betty starts following her around. Or at least perfect for her to almost compete with the amazing outfits that she is sure Betty will be wearing.

‘Well, you got me. What do you want to do now?’

‘Do you know what I’d really like?’

‘No, but I bet it doesn’t involve bed.’

‘No, it doesn’t. I would really like to go and see a film. I haven’t been to the cinema for ages.’

‘OK, but as I came shopping with you, I get to choose.’

‘Deal, but if you choose you have to buy the popcorn.’

They seal their bargain with a kiss.

A thought keeps popping into Grace’s head and she tries to use the mechanics of her brain to squeeze it out again. The thought is the way that she feels like part of a normal couple. Shopping and a film; a totally normal activity for people in a relationship on a Saturday. Utterly normal. Grace squeezes as hard as she can to expunge the idea. She is not normal; they are not a couple. And that is the way it is. Eddie notices her mood darken, as it so often does when they are together. He also knows to ignore it. It will pass. They sit in front of an action film, Eddie’s choice, lightly touching each other’s hands and sharing a monster bucket of popcorn. By the time they leave, Grace has regained her earlier mood. She is not part of a couple, but that does not mean she cannot enjoy her day out. It does not mean that she cannot enjoy Eddie. She vows to relax more.

They return to her fiat, where she insists on unpacking her shopping and hanging it up. She even changes into her expensive new jeans and a tight, sexy top. Eddie watches her as he always does.

‘Drink?’ she asks, once she’s finished. She is not the best of hostesses.

‘Whisky, thanks.’

She pours him a whisky and pours herself a glass of red wine. She likes the distinction between the drinks of her two men. Oliver drinks brandy or wine, Eddie, whisky.

They sit on the sofa, with their drinks. Grace feels tired, shopping type of tired, and she rests her head on Eddie’s shoulder.

‘You didn’t tell me what happened with the magazine woman.’

‘Oh, well, she was quite scary. You know, ultra trendy, really confident. I know I’m confident and outgoing in my work, but for some reason she made me feel really nervous. Actually I turned into a moron, barely able to string a sentence together.’

‘I doubt that. Anyway, she probably felt just as nervous.’

‘God, no, she wasn’t intimidated at all. She was actually a bit bossy. Anyway, I agreed in principle but asked for a proposal. I said what you said and asked if I could give editorial approval but she said that wouldn’t happen. Gosh, I hope this isn’t going to be a big mistake. Nicole is so excited that I said I’ll do it, I now feel that I’d be letting her down if I back out, but I’m still apprehensive.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know, but this Betty woman is going to be shadowing me and I’m not sure I like that. She’ll probably put me off and cause me to falter on the job.’

‘Don’t be so stupid. You’re a pro, Grace.’

‘Could you imagine, though? I see her watching me and I fall flat on my face or something equally embarrassing. She might make me say something stupid’ like: “Do you come here often?” ‘Grace laughs, but she is a tiny bit worried.

‘Well, if you do fall over, and then give them a crap chat up line, and they fall for it at least you’ll know they’re proper cheats.’

‘Could be a new way of doing business.’

‘Grace, now, I think you should do this, but first I think you should tell yourself that this woman is only a woman, and maybe you could even be friends.’

Grace shudders. ‘I’m not good at that.’

Eddie sips his whisky and puts his arm round her. No, he will never understand Grace, which totally ensures her place in his affections.

Saturday.

‘I love your job, Betts.’

‘Me too.’ Betty and Alison lie side by side on massage tables in London’s latest day spa. Betty won the review tickets in a raffle, and while their husbands are playing golf the two women are enjoying a pampering. There is not a paintbrush in sight.

‘I might have a steam next.’

‘Then a swim. I wish we could come here every week. I would be so relaxed and happy.’

‘You’re happy anyway.’

‘Yeah, but I get stressed at work, don’t I? And to come here and do this every week would mean I got rid of all my stress.’ She closes her eyes and imagines it for a minute.

‘I suppose you could book yourself in for a massage once a week.’

‘Yeah, but not here. Have you seen the prices? It’s criminal.’ Betty shudders at the thought of how quickly she could bankrupt herself.

‘Talking of criminal, how did your lunch go with that woman?’

‘The honey trap woman? Just as I thought, really. She was uptight, absolutely stunning, too confident and sure of herself.’

‘And you managed to be civil?’ Alison knows how cutting Betty can be. Although she is not scared of her best friend, she knows many who are.

‘I didn’t give her the “I think you’re a whore” speech, if that’s what you mean. I was actually very civil. But I still don’t think what she does is right.’

‘Me neither, but then maybe we shouldn’t blame her. After all, it’s the women who hire her who want to test their men and it’s the men who are untrustworthy.’

‘But as you said, why not confront them? Seriously, Ali, Grace was incredible looking; having her chat a man up isn’t just slightly tempting, it’s unrealistically tempting, which is bloody unfair. I know Johnny wouldn’t go for it, or Matt, but most men would be so flattered to be chatted up by someone like her that they’d capitulate. Now, if you want to do this sort of thing, give them an averagely attractive woman, nothing special, and then see – not that I agree with that, but you know what I mean. Sending Grace to test your husband is like sending Kate Moss. They don’t stand a fucking chance. Ow.’ The masseuse pounds harder when Betty gets excited. She mentally curses and tells herself to calm down.

‘So now you object on the basis that the woman is too good looking? First you were opposed to the whole premise.’ Alison’s voice is soft.

‘I still am. I’m just saying that there’s this woman who is stunning and knows it, and I know that the only reason she does the job she does is because she likes seducing other women’s partners. It gives her massive ego even more of a boost and that is the only reason she does it.’

‘It’s going to be a fair interview then?’ Alison laughs at Betty’s intensity.

‘I just say it how I see it.’ Betty giggles too. Massage really is good for relieving stress.

After the spa, they make their way back to Alison’s house where they are meeting their husbands. Betty flings her arms round Johnny.

‘Good game?’ she asks, planting a kiss on his slightly flushed cheek.

‘No, I lost.’

‘I won,’ Matt pipes up, as if there is any doubt.

‘Talk about mass humiliation, losing against him,’ Johnny adds, wrapping his arms round Betty. ‘Um, you smell gorgeous.’

‘Massage oil.’ A rush of love fills her. She knows that she is the luckiest woman in the world, but still she cannot understand why Grace and her honey trapping bothers her so much. Johnny is the one man she is certain of, the one man who wouldn’t capitulate to the charms of Kate Moss or anyone. She is so sure in their love, she really is. So why are her thoughts behaving so irrationally?

‘Do I smell gorgeous?’ Alison asks, sidling up to Matt.

‘Can’t smell anything but my own success,’ he replies, but gives her an affectionate squeeze anyway.

‘We’ve decided that we need to have a massage once a week,’ Alison says.

They are sitting at Alison and Matt’s small round dining table, and eating tuna steaks cooked by Alison with a warm rocket salad. Alison is a far better cook than Betty, although most people are better cooks than Betty. She can manage pasta and baked potatoes but would rather not try anything more adventurous than that. Johnny isn’t much better. Their local takeaways benefit from this fact.

‘Which means we’re free to play golf,’ Matt says.

‘We’re turning into boring marrieds,’ Johnny bemoans. ‘The men play golf, the women go to the beauty parlour. Shit, we’re middle-aged.’ Although he doesn’t sound too serious, his outburst visibly upsets Betty.

‘We’re not, we’re only in our early thirties,’ she protests. She will defend their lifestyle at all costs. She loves it so much that anyone criticising it makes her nervous; especially if that anyone is her husband.

‘I know, in order for us not to feel so old, let’s have a party.’ Johnny suddenly sounds excited, although it is not as spontaneous as he is making out.

‘For what occasion?’ Matt asks.

‘That’s the point, there is no occasion. It’s just because we’re still young and we still have the ability to do spur of the moment things.’ Johnny looks animated as he warms to his theme. Everyone else looks doubtful.

‘Where would we have it? At home?’ Betty asks. She likes parties, but she isn’t sure she wants to organise one.

‘No, we’ll hire a bar, get a DJ, make it a proper party. Invite everyone we know, not just married couples that we have dinner with, but single people too. People we’ve lost touch with. It’ll be like a reunion.’ Johnny has been thinking about the email he received that week and how out of touch it made him feel.

‘Do we know any single people?’ Betty asks. Her tone indicates that single people might be contagious, but no one notices.

‘Of course we do. We just haven’t seen them for a while. There are my friends from university – some of them must still be single – and work. I’ll start searching for a venue.’

‘What’s brought this on?’ Betty asks, concerned. Johnny rarely makes any suggestions about their social life. He normally lets Betty organise it. She has a feeling that he is bored, and that thought terrifies her.
What
if
he’s
bored
with
her
?

‘Mid-life crisis,’ Matt quips, hitting Betty’s nail on the head.

‘No, I just fancy doing something different.’

‘I think it’s a great idea,’ Alison agrees. She likes the idea of a party, she likes the idea of getting drunk, dancing and maybe even flirting with the single men that Johnny is talking about. Only harmless flirting, naturally.

‘That’s settled. I’ll start organising it next week.’

Johnny looks happier; he has almost forgotten about his golf defeat. Betty is happy for Johnny to go ahead and organise a party as long as it makes him happy. Matt likes the idea of a party for the same reason that Alison does. The only thing worrying Betty is the idea that Johnny really is having a mid-life crisis. But as he leans over and kisses her, placing his hand on her leg under the table, she knows he isn’t. He just fancies doing something different and there is nothing wrong with that. An image of Grace pops into her head, although she isn’t sure why, and she desperately tries to evict it. It’s about ruts, that’s all, sometimes it’s easy to fall into a routine, and before you realise it that routine has become a rut. She resolves that that will not happen to them, or if it already has, then she will rescue them and get them out again. The party will be a start, but maybe Betty will organise a weekend away for them, for starters. Again, Grace re-enters her mind, but this time she is ready for her. This has nothing to do with Grace, and Grace has no bearing whatsoever on her marriage. Why she should think otherwise, no matter how fleetingly, is a mystery.

Chapter Eight

A week after the lunch with Betty, Grace is preparing to read the proposal from
Modern
Woman
. She is sitting upright in her little office. The proposal is lying on the small glass desk, partially obscuring the keyboard. The computer is on, but showing only a blank screen. Files are neatly piled in one corner: pending jobs in red folders; completed jobs in blue. Grace is wearing an old tracksuit, and her hair is scraped off her face. She is idly fiddling with a pen as she stares at the front page of the proposal. No matter what, she can’t shake the feeling that reading it will take her to a place she doesn’t want to go. The irrational fear that somehow this proposal, lying across her desk, is going to disrupt her life. What she really thinks, though, is that it isn’t the proposal that is such a threat to her equilibrium, but the author of the proposal. The smug, posh, married journalist who obviously hated her on sight. Reluctantly, she turns the covering letter over with her newly painted bright red nails, and she begins to read.

The Honey Trap feature and interview with Grace Regan

The feature will cover a total of four pages, and at the moment is set to run in the October issue of
Modern
Woman
, which will be on shelves at the beginning of September. This is subject to change. There will be photographs but those photographs will not be of the interviewee and that will be made clear.