Agatha H. And the Clockwork Princess (33 page)

Agatha nodded. She’d seen her share of otherwise brilliant mechanisms determined to walk through walls or wash pots until they’d been scrubbed into metal foil.

Payne continued. “But travel, especially in the Wastelands, is dangerous, and if you do it long enough, then the odds will turn against you.” He shrugged. “I found Tinka and Moxana in a wrecked wagon amongst the ruins of another show. Whatever attacked didn’t consider them valuable.

“They were happy enough to join my show, and I was able to protect them for almost twenty years.”

Payne stopped and his shoulders slumped. Moxana reached up and gently patted his hand. Payne smiled at her and continued. “And then, three years ago, we were doing our spring traverse of the mountains, just as we’re doing now. In those days, we preferred to go through Balen’s Gap.”

Krosp perked up. “I’ve heard of that. It’s where the coalition of forces under The Storm King actually managed to stop Bludtharst Heterodyne’s armies.” He turned to Agatha. “Very famous battle, that. Until then, it looked like the Heterodynes would sweep all the way to the Danube, but instead, they were forced to overextend themselves and—”

Agatha put a large bucket over the cat. “You get him going on military history and he’s good for several hours. You were saying?”

For some reason, Payne had to reassemble his thoughts. “Balan’s Gap, yes. Big town. Lots of traffic. Lots of loose coin. The local ruling family is the House of Sturmvarous, currently headed by Prince Aaronev the fourth. A strong Spark. He used to be a major player, but when Wulfenbach rolled through, he submitted quietly enough, and he’s been a good little vassal ever since.

“Of course, being the ruler, it’s still within his power to confiscate…well… anything he wants, really. And out of the blue, what he wanted was Tinka, and there was nothing we could do.” Payne removed his spectacles and fastidiously cleaned the spotless lenses. Obviously, the memory still angered him.

“There was still snow on the ground that year. Which is why Moxana had been left in her wagon. I’m guessing that’s why they didn’t take her as well.” He looked at the clank and shook his head. “Perhaps it would have been better for her if they had.”

Payne turned to Agatha. “The Muses were renowned as beautiful, miraculous machines. The common folk always ascribe emotions and actual, self awareness to them, a fallacy that more educated people know better than to fall into.” He hesitated. “But, I think… in this particular case… the common folk might be correct.”

Agatha said nothing, but her mouth twitched. Payne waved his hand. “Yes, yes, I know. Anthropomorphism is a danger whenever you deal with any sufficiently sophisticated mechanism. It would certainly be easier to create a mechanism that merely
simulates
emotion.

“However there is no denying that in the last three years, Moxana has become less and less responsive. Even when she is active, she remains absorbed in her own private games. Recently she has begun shutting down for days at a time. Just before we found you, she’d been quiescent for almost a solid week. Even if her grief is artificial, I think it’s destroying her.

“And that is why we are crossing the mountains as early as we are, this year. I want to get her to Transylvania Polygnostic University.”

Agatha blinked in surprise. “In Beetleburg? But that’s where I came from.”

Payne looked interested. “That could prove useful. We should get there a few weeks after we go through Mechanicsburg. I want to get her to Dr. Tarsus Beetle, the master of the University. No one knows more about The Muses than he does. We’ve corresponded in the past, but he doesn’t know I possess an actual Muse.” Payne shrugged wearily. “He’s not someone I actually trust, but I’ve run out of ideas.”

Agatha sighed. “Doctor Beetle is dead.”

Everyone looked startled at this. “What?”

Agatha carefully picked her words. “I’m sorry, but it’s true. I was his student before I was on Castle Wulfenbach
⁴³
. He can’t help you.”

“Damn.” Payne looked distraught. He looked at Moxana and he looked even worse. “Damn!” He pounded his fist against a nearby chest, denting it with the force of his blow. “We’re committed to Sturmhalten now. We’ve lost too much of the year. And now I see it was for
nothing
!” He focused back on Agatha. “But you were his student?”

Agatha nodded.

“Well you’re certainly a stronger Spark than any of us. Hopefully he taught you well.”

Agatha looked wary. “Why?”

Payne patted Moxana’s chassis. “I think… maybe… what Moxana needs, is a new sister. I’d like you to try to build one for her.”

Agatha was already shaking her head. “Ridiculous. How could I possibly hope to duplicate the work of one of history’s greatest Sparks? Work that no one else has been able to equal in the last two hundred years?”

Payne shrugged. “I have no idea. But you would have an actual functioning Muse to study. And—” He paused and looked at Moxana expectantly. With a faint sound, the seated figure nodded slowly and then placed her hands flat upon the board. There was a soft “click” and the board swung upwards, revealing a shallow, hidden compartment. Nestled within was a large book. It was bound in brown leather that had cracked with age. The pages within were thick hand cut sheets of vellum, with dozens of ribbons, scraps of papers, leaves and other objects serving as impromptu bookmarks. Upon the cover, embossed in gold that still gleamed against the dark leather, was a simple “R.v.R.”

“More importantly, you’d have Van Rijn’s notes.”

Hours later, the opened book before her, reams of scribbled notations littering her wagon, Agatha had one of her little clanks in her hand. Its eye rolled in alarm as she selected a sharp bladed screwdriver. Agatha’s eyes glittered with excitement. “Hold still,” she commanded. “I’ve got six ideas for how to improve things already, and that’s just from chapter one!” The clank squirmed and looked at her beseechingly. “Relax. You should be incapable of feeling pain.”

A sound made her look up. Arrayed next to her door were the three Jägers. They stood quietly, obviously nervous, but there none the less. A part of Agatha’s mind took note of the fact that she had not even heard them enter. “Yes?” she ventured.

The green Jäger, the one called Dimo, stepped forward. “Ve must tok,” he said seriously.

Agatha looked at them and then carefully put down the screwdriver along with the relieved clank. Instead of distracting her, the presence of the monster soldiers seemed to cause her brain to work harder.

“You’ve been avoiding me ever since you joined up with the circus, but now we must talk? Why? What’s happened?”

Maxim grinned and swept his hair back in a theatrical gesture. He leaned in towards Agatha past Dimo, who looked alarmed. “Oh, vell, hyu know, who
vouldn’t
vants to tok mit a pretty leetle gurl like hyu?” He leered.

Dimo grasped his sleeve. “Maxim! No!” He looked at Agatha’s face, which had frozen in a mask of cold fury. “She iz schtill in de madness place! She could—”

With a deft movement, Agatha knocked off Maxim’s hat. The mask of sophistication shattered and the purple Jaeger snarled, “Dot vas my
hat!”

Agatha stepped closer to him. “What do you want?”

Maxim stared at her, saw the icy calmness that radiated off of her, and with a grin, gracefully dropped to one knee and bowed his head while placing a hand over his heart. “Forgiff me, mistress,” he whispered.

Agatha made a moue of displeasure. “And that is quite enough of
that
,” she stated. “Get up. These people don’t know who I am.”

Maxim nodded and stood back up. “Ve underschtand, lady.”

Agatha looked at him skeptically. “I doubt it.”

Maxim grinned. “Ve find tings out. Hyu iz escaped from Baron Wulfenbach. He tinks hyu iz dead. Now hyu iz goink to Mechanicsburg.”

Dimo spoke up. “Iz dangerous to travel through der Vastelands mitout protection, so hyu join der circus. Efferbody vants a nize borink jouney. Ve agrees, so ve has helped out a bit mit dot already. Eet giffs us schomting to do at night, jah?”

Ognian stuck a clawed finger deep within an ear and wiggled it about. “Dot Master Payne, he vants a nice qviet trip too. Ezpecially sinze he’s got dot fency magic doll he vants to keep hid from der medboy in Balan’z Gap.”

Maxim nodded. “Yah. Dot family alvays had der sticky fingers and efferyvun iz afraid dot she gets stolen like her seester. She iz a clenk, bot if she gets dismantled, it chust der same as dyink, jah? Herr Payne tink dot since old Sturmvarous got vun nize toy from dis circus, he gun come sniffink around to see vhat else dey gots since den.”

Dimo shrugged. “But dot Payne, he’s a schmot guy. He gots a goot plan.”

Ognian pulled a large insect out from the depths of his ear and regarded it with satisfaction. “He vants us to help. But hyu iz our mistress. Hyu gots to say it is hokay.” With a flourish, he popped the insect into his mouth and chewed.

Agatha goggled at the three for a minute. Dimo elbowed Ognian, who looked guilty and stuck his finger back in his ear. “Sorry bout dot. Do hyu vant vun? Hy should have asked.”

Agatha shuddered. ”No, thank you.” She paused. “You all seem…remarkably on top of all this.” She regarded the three creatures before her. “Are you
really
Jägers?”

Maxim and Ognian looked surprised and glanced at each other. Maxim slid a small mirror out of his tunic and worriedly checked himself.

Dimo chuckled and slowly rubbed his jaw, which produced a sound analogous to stroking a stiff hairbrush. “Dot… iz a goot qvestion. Sometimes Hy vunder.” Maxim and Ognian looked at him questioningly. “Haff all dose guys mit der Baron gone soft offer der years? Or haff ve become… sharper because ve leaf der group und haff to learn how to
tink
better?” He spread his hands. “Hy tink mebbee both.”

Agatha narrowed her eyes. “The group… You mean the other Jägermonsters that work for the Baron?” Dimo nodded. “Why did you leave them?”

Dimo looked at her seriously. “For hyu.”

Maxim nodded. “Ven der Baron offered the Jägerkin employment, ve knew ve had to take it. He said dot he needed us, but not as much as ve needed him. Ve served der House of Heterodyne. For der last twenty years or so, dot vas all to der goot, but der Jägers haff served der Heterodynes for hundreds uf years, und dot vas vat people remembered. Vitout der Heterodynes, ve needed somevun like der Baron to protect us.

“But if dere vas even a possibility dot anodder Heterodyne existed, ve could not, in goot conscience sign on mit der Baron. So ve agreed to serve him, mit the condition dot if a Heterodyne
vas
effer found, ve would be released from der Empire’s service.

“Now, der Baron agreed to help us search, but it vas suspected dot searchink vould not be a high priority. So der Generals asked for a sqvad of
volunteers
.”

Dimo picked up the narrative. “Ve were to leave the group. Go forth into der vorld, und not return until ve had found an acceptable Heterodyne heir, no matter how lonk it took. Ve knew it vas…suicide mission. Ve had kept track uf der family tree. Ve
knew
dot der Heterodynes vere gone. Ve vould neffer be able to go beck.”

He stopped, overcome with emotion. Ognian gently punched him on the shoulder and continued. “But because uf us, der Jägerkin could hold der heads up und say dot ve had not abandoned our masters. Dey vas free to join der House uf Wulfenbach. Der Baron protected dem, and dey fought for der Empire.”

The Jäger grinned. “Und now hyu show op und spoil all our plenz!” A tear formed in his eye. “Because now ve… ve gets to go beck. And I neffer—” he gulped, “I neffer thought—” Suddenly he folded up at Agatha’s feet and to her intense embarrassment clasped at her knees. “Ve haff missed you,” he choked out. “Please,
please
be real!”

Agatha stooped and gave the distraught monster a hug. She looked up into the faces of the other two Jägers, who were displaying mixed emotions at the scene before them. “I
am
real,” she assured them. “I really am.”

She pulled an embarrassed Ognian to his feet and then sat back down. “Now tell me about Master Payne’s plan.”

Several days later, the circus cleared a last patch of forest and rolled onto a very well-maintained road running parallel to the bank of a fast-flowing river. According to Master Payne, this meant that they had officially exited the Wastelands.

This was cause for a small celebration. Bottles were passed about and musical instruments made their appearance. Thus it was a jolly troupe indeed that pulled up before the stout, reinforced gates of a small fortress that barred the road over the river.

Although small, the garrison bustled with activity. Farmers were delivering hay, a squad of new recruits, loaded with large packs lumbered past, harried by a bellowing Sergeant. Stacks of stores were being moved by sweating troopers, who were stripped to the waist. Several nearby airship gantries stood empty, but showed signs of recent use.

Everywhere in evidence was a sigil depicting a sword thrust down through the spokes of a gear, which was adorned with a pair of heraldic wings. This was the Sturmvarous family crest. They had arrived at the border of Balan’s Gap.

Questions were asked. A desultory examination of the wagons was made, a small discrete payment, as well as several bottles, exchanged hands, and the wagons rumbled through the fortress and over the well-maintained stone bridge. More than one circus member noted the carrier pigeons that left the fortress shortly thereafter and flew on before them.

The lowlands on this side of the river consisted mostly of rich-looking farmland, with fields of freshly sown dark earth, dotted with small settlements.

Almost immediately however, the road swung upwards, and they began to climb the foothills leading up to the actual pass over the mountains.

The superior quality of the road was a pleasant change after weeks in the Wastelands, and once all of the spare horses were hitched up, the climb was slow, but uneventful.