Against the Wind, Season 2, Episode 1 (Rising Storm) (8 page)

“I’m needed at home,” she said brightly, when all she wanted to do was relax for an hour or several. But at least Bryce was trying, and they were on the same page with the kids. She could forgive his short tempered text telling her that he needed to get to work and finish his sermon for the next day.

As she scooted from the booth, she gave a nod to her brother, uncle, and father. Everyone said women were hard to figure out, but as she glanced at the three males all looking anywhere but at each other, she scoffed at the idea.

Men were weird.

Chapter Eight

Bryce Douglas loved Mondays. The church was quiet, people were busy, and only a few folks needed his counsel. His heart started each Monday light and full…and as the day wore on, the heaviness set back in.

By the time he made it home around five in the afternoon, he was in the dark place again.

Sure, the sun might be shining, the clouds finally gone, but he felt the darkness.

Forcing his lips to curve into a smile, he walked toward his front door, then sat for a moment on the stoop. For several precious moments, he just sat there and centered himself.

Sometimes he said a prayer.

Often he didn’t.

The door was flung open, and Tara rushed outside, the phone to her ear. Panic covered her pretty face.

He jumped to his feet, his heart thundering.

She clicked off. “Danny got out.” Her body whirled, nearly vibrating as she tried to take in the entire area. “I was upstairs on the computer, and the door was locked. Bolted. When I came down, he was gone.”

Bryce grasped her arms and kept his voice calm. “Where did you look?”

“All over.” Her voice rose. “In the backyard and around the square. I don’t even know how long he’s been gone.”

“It’s okay.” Fear gripped Bryce, but he remained calm for her sake.

Carol walked out onto the porch, holding her pink teddy bear. “Daddy?”

Tara half turned. “Honey? I need you to tell us when you unlocked the door.”

Carol looked past her mother, her eyes open wide. “Daddy, I didn’t unlock the door.”

She had to have done it. Bryce released Tara and moved toward his little girl, dropping to his haunches. “Sweetie? It’s a sin to lie, remember? You have to tell the truth.”

Her bottom lip quivered.

Bryce said a quick prayer to the God he’d dedicated his life to. “All right, honey. When did Danny leave?”

Carol hugged her bear closer. “I dunno.” Her gaze landed on his knees.

He patted her shoulder. “Were you watching television?”

“Uh huh.”

“What show? Do you remember?” he asked as Tara came up behind him. Her fear somehow overwhelmed his senses, even though he didn’t turn to look at her.

Carol scrunched up her face. “I think the pony cartoon was on.”

Tara gasped. “That was nearly an hour ago. Oh God. A whole hour.”

Bryce stood and faced her. “Take a deep breath, honey. We’ll find him. He’s wandered off before, and we’ve always found him.” He had to stay calm, and finally, he could
do
something. “I promise.” He drew her into his body, in control, his mind calculating a plan. “First, we—”

A blue compact pulled up, and Tara turned her head.

Sara Jane Salt, Danny’s teacher, jumped out of the driver’s side and crossed around the car to open the back door. “Did you guys lose somebody?”

Danny barreled out and ran for Tara.

Tara hugged him with a happy cry and then released him.

Bryce ducked down and gave his son a hug.

Danny quickly backed away and then turned for the house. “I’m hungry. I want goldfish.” He moved past Carol and went right inside. The little girl followed him, her bear clutched to her side.

Bryce couldn’t breathe.

Sara Jane shut the car door and gracefully strode toward him, a smile brightening her girl-next-door face. In her early twenties, the teacher had gray eyes and light brown hair. She wore a flowered skirt with a flimsy blouse that fluttered in the slight breeze.

Tara ran forward and hugged her.

“Hey,” Sara Jane laughed. “It’s okay. Really.”

Tara released the young woman. “Where was he? I was so scared.”

Bryce forced his legs into motion and walked toward the teacher. “Thank you so much, Sara Jane. We owe you.”

Sara Jane waved her hand in dismissal. “It’s fine, really. I was driving home and saw Danny picking weeds on the side of the road about a mile from here.”

“A mile?” Tara swayed.

Bryce slipped an arm around her waist, tucking her into his side. “He got that far?”

“Kids are inquisitive,” Sara Jane said easily.

“I don’t know what to do,” Tara whispered, her voice thick with tears. “I know that Carol let him out on purpose.”

Sara Jane nodded. “Probably. It’s tough being seven with an autistic sibling. She’s just acting out for attention, which is normal.” The teacher tapped her finger on her lips. “Why don’t you enroll her in the after-school play group at the library? I’m one of the organizers and I’m there with the kids several times each week. We spend a lot of time painting, reading, and working on individual voices.”

Bryce shook his head. “Isn’t that group for nine- and ten-year-olds. Carol is only seven.”

“Exactly.” Sara Jane clapped her hands together. “Think how special she’ll feel doing activities with the big girls.”

“We can’t ask that of you or the group leaders. She’s seven and needs more attention than the older girls,” Bryce said, his gut aching.

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” Sara Jane reached out and smacked his arm. “Seriously. You’re a great pastor, and you’re there for every member of the church. Why not let some of us be there for you? I’d love to work with Carol, anyway.”

Something uncoiled inside Bryce. Hope? He was supposed to be strong, and his job was to help people. Yet suddenly, accepting help didn’t seem wrong. “Thank you,” he said.

“You bet.” Sara Jane winked at Tara and turned back for her car. “See you guys later.”

Tara turned into Bryce’s chest and took several shuddering breaths. Her phone buzzed, and she fumbled, grabbing for it. “Mom? Yeah, everything is fine. Sara Jane found Danny and brought him home.” Tara listened for a moment. “I’m sure. I’ll call you later.” She hung up.

Bryce ran a hand down her back. “You okay?”

She leaned away from him. “No.” Tears slid down her smooth cheeks. “I’m not okay. I try, and I try so hard, and I don’t tell you half of it, but no, I’m not okay.”

Unfortunately, she made sense right now. He knew she kept some of the information about Danny from him. She’d hear of a new way of dealing with autism, a new diet, a new series of vitamins, and she’d work it all out without him. And he had let her. On purpose. “So tell me.”

“I can’t.” She steeled her shoulders and stepped away from him.

The instant coldness surrounding him nearly made him gasp. “Why not?”

She looked him directly in the eye. “You’re too busy being mad at God to help me out.”

He sucked in air. “I’m not mad at God.” Somehow, his voice remained level.

She put her hands on her hips. “The hell you’re not. You’ve been angry with God since we first thought something was different about Danny. You, of all people.”

Anger threatened to choke him, and he lost it. “This isn’t God’s fault, damn it.”

Her eyes widened.

Had he ever sworn at her? Probably not. Crass language brought back bad memories of his childhood and his insane mother. “It’s my fault,” he whispered.

She drew back. “Yours?”

“Yes.” So much emotion rolled through him, he couldn’t breathe.

Her shoulders sagged, and when she spoke her voice was gentle. “Bryce, we’ve talked about this. It’s not your fault.”

 “But it is. My family has problems. Mental ones. My mom’s in a psych ward, as you know. This, Danny, is my fault.”

“It’s not. You know it’s not.”

He did know that. But it didn’t matter. The words
felt
true. He was a man, he was a father, and this family was his responsibility. Worse yet, sometimes he felt embarrassment being in public with his autistic son when Danny made a scene.

Which made him a horrific parent—just like his mother had been.

His throat actually started to close.

“Oh, Bryce.” She came toward him then, and not away. “I understand.”

“No.” Nobody could understand.

She smiled though her tears. “I mourn for the kid he could’ve been. The star athlete, the president, the famous talk show host.”

Bryce paused.

“That’s okay, and that’s normal. It’s all right to wonder.” She pressed both hands to his face, her face so full of love and understanding, he knew in that second he’d never truly deserve her. “I can’t stand the pitying looks I get sometimes, or the wide-eyed, trying-to-understand looks. Sometimes I wish it was all different.”

“You do?” His voice cracked.

“Sure.” She rubbed her thumbs along his jaw. “But then I look at Danny. I see his potential and his huge heart and creativity. I have no idea what he’ll do, but I know it’ll be inspired and amazing. God gave him to me, and God gave him to us. We’re lucky to have him…the real him.”

Bryce swallowed. “I want to be okay with him.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.” Which was the absolute truth. He loved Danny with everything he’d ever be.

Tara smiled. “So do I. Just the way he is. And he is who he is, not because of your mother or genetics. Danny is exactly who he’s supposed to be.”

Now that was faith.

Tara leaned in and kissed him. “There are so many miracles with Danny. Every week, there’s a miracle. How blessed we are to witness that.”

“I love you,” Bryce said.

“Yeah, I get that.” She chuckled. “I love you, too.”

He slipped his arm over her shoulders, determined to do better. To be better. “Let’s go see if Danny wants to talk about his adventure, and then we need to talk to Carol about the door.”

“Okay.” Tara turned toward the house with him. “Besides, it’s time for—oh no.”

“What?”

She sighed. “Danny’s been taking a Carosine supplement, and I think it has really helped with his memory. We’re out, and I was going to hit the pharmacy earlier to get more.”

Bryce leaned down and kissed her head. “Tell you what? How about Carol and I go get the supplement and have a little talk? While we’re doing that, you and Danny can catch up.”

Tara looked up and smiled. “That’s a plan.”

“After we get back, I’d like to know what supplements you’re giving Danny and how they’re helping.” They reached the door, and Bryce called out to Carol. The little girl ran over and he explained their plan. With a happy hop, she hurried outside.

Bryce smiled. “We’ll be back.” He left his wife and son, his step lighter than it had been in a long time.

They took the long way to the pharmacy, during which he had Carol talk about her feelings. Her real feelings, the ones she wasn’t proud of. He could relate.

“Your feelings are okay, sweetheart. It’s your actions, or what you do with the feelings, that you need to work on.” He glanced over at her, fully aware he could be talking to himself. “When you feel bad like that, you come talk to me. You don’t unlock the door for Danny to leave.”

The little girl nodded.

Finally, they stopped in front of the Cuppa Joe bakery. “All right. We’re going to celebrate our new plan of talking about feelings instead of hiding them or unlocking doors.” He winked at his baby girl.

She held his hand, heading into the bakery. “Grandma!” Releasing him, she rushed toward Alice Johnson, who was standing at the counter and paying for a container of cupcakes from Marisol Moreno, the store owner.

Alice dropped and hugged the little girl, her face swathed in smiles. “There’s my girl.”

Bryce walked toward them and leaned over to hug Alice. “It’s good to see you.”

Alice hugged him hard. “Rough day, huh?” She pushed her graying hair away from her deep blue eyes.

“Yeah.” He shook his head. “Thank goodness for Sara Jane.”

Alice pointed toward the far counter. “Go check out those cupcakes, Carol.”

With a happy squeal, the girl ran over to look at the green frog-shaped cupcakes.

Alice turned toward Bryce. “I’m not sure if Tara has had a chance to talk to you, but Zeke and I would love to give her Pringles.”

“The pony?” Bryce rubbed his chin. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Alice kept an eye on Carol. “She loves the pony, and maybe taking care of him will give her self-esteem and a sense of accomplishment. Plus, we’d get to see her more.” The woman grinned.

Bryce waited until Alice looked at him. “That’s really sweet of you. Thanks.”

Surprise flashed across Alice’s face, to be quickly banished. “You bet.”

The door opened and Bryce half turned to see his sister walk inside. “Kristin.”

“Hi.” She cleared her throat and clasped her hands together, her blue eyes bloodshot. “I, ah, saw you come in here.”

Alice looked from one to the other. “Why don’t Carol and I eat a cupcake together over by the display and I can tell her about Pringles? You two can have a nice chat.” Without waiting for a reply, she headed for her granddaughter.

Bryce nodded. “Two vanilla lattes, Marisol.” He gestured toward the other side of the bakery, and Kristin walked over to take a seat.

Marisol made the lattes, and Bryce paid, heading over to hand one to his sister. “Here you go.”

She had her russet hair up in a fancy knot and was wearing makeup.

He took a drink of his coffee. “You’re just out and about?”

“Yes. Running errands.”

Uh, huh. “I like your hair.”

She gingerly touched the side. “Thanks.”

“What errands?” he asked evenly.

She shrugged. “You know. Bank, the post office, the pharmacy.”

Yeah. He’d figured that one. “So you wanted to talk to me?”

“Bad news.” She drew out an envelope from her purse. “The institution is increasing its monthly rate by three hundred dollars, but we can’t get an increase in her state stipend until her next review, and that’s almost a full year away. I can pay for half, but that’s all I have.”