She nodded, praying it was true, but there was a lump in her throat and tears sprang into her eyes.
Gabe eased back to look at her. “Even if something happened, it wouldn’t be so bad. I like kids. I wouldn’t mind having one.”
She swallowed, the tears in her eyes spilling over onto her cheeks.
“What is it?” Gabe asked softly. “Tell me.”
Mattie closed her eyes. She wanted to keep silent but the words just began spilling out. “I was pregnant once. It was years ago. I thought…thought he loved me. I thought we were going to get married, but—” Her lips trembled and she glanced away.
“Tell me the rest,” Gabe softly urged.
Mattie ran a hand through her tumbled hair, shoving it back from her face. “When Mark found out I was going to have a baby, he ended our relationship. I never saw him again. Five months later, I miscarried. I was devastated. I wanted that baby…so much.”
Gabe drew her back into his arms and just held her. “It wouldn’t be that way with me. If something happens, Mattie, I won’t let you down.”
But there was no way to know that for sure and just thinking about what had happened the last time had her drawing away from him, climbing out of the bed in search of her clothes.
Gabe didn’t try to stop her. Instead, he pulled on his jeans but didn’t bother with his shirt. “Tell you what…I’ll turn the oven back on, get the lasagna hot again. You’ll feel better after you’ve had something to eat.”
Mattie just nodded. Her throat still ached. She should leave, she knew, but something held her back. She didn’t want to be alone with the memories. She needed to push them away as she always did. She couldn’t believe she had told Gabe about Mark and the baby. She had never said a word about them to any other man.
The fact that she had shared such an intimate part of herself with Gabe worried her more than anything that had happened between them so far.
Seventeen
Late Sunday morning Gabe sat in his condo watching a NASCAR race. He wasn’t much of a couch potato, but after last night he had a lot on his mind.
As he sat in a comfortable chair in front of the TV sipping a cup of hot black coffee, he thought of his evening with Mattie, which had mostly gone the way he had planned.
Except that he had meant for her to spend the night, meant for them to wake up together and make love again this morning.
But something had happened between them. Something besides the hot, incredible sex that was even better than he remembered. Mattie had shared an intimate and important part of her past and some fragile element of trust had blossomed between them.
Because of that trust, he hadn’t pressed her to stay. Instead, a supper that started off strained had ended up easy and relaxed. They had talked about her parents, her dad’s death and how much she and her mother had missed him.
She told him how hard her mother had worked to keep them afloat and the after-school job she had gotten to help pay the bills. She told him about her mom’s remarriage and her move to San Antonio and how for the first time in years Margaret Baker seemed happy.
Gabe had talked about his brothers, sharing stories of their early years.
“One night after school Dev and I ran into the school bully, a guy named Jeff Freedman, and a bunch of his friends. Jackson was usually our protector but he was sacking up groceries at the supermarket so we had to take care of ourselves. We were several years younger and it was five against two, but Freedman took the lead. Dev went low, kicking him in the shin. Freedman got off a pretty good punch, but my counterpunch caught him in the jaw and knocked him down.”
Gabe grinned. “I was so shocked I just stood there. I guess the rest of his friends thought I was tougher than I actually was because they all took off running. Dev and I had a lot less trouble after that.”
Mattie smiled at the image. “I just bet you did.”
They cleared the table together and loaded the dishes into the washer, but as the hour grew late, he could feel the tension mounting between them again. When Mattie announced her intention to leave, he didn’t try to stop her.
He wanted her to know sex wasn’t the only thing he wanted from her.
Which surprised him as much as it did her.
Now, as the morning sun burned through the living room windows, warming his shoulders, Gabe thought about Mattie again. She was an incredibly passionate woman, equal to the demands he made on her. And as he had guessed, in bed she liked a man who took charge. During the day, she worked as hard as a man. She needed someone who took control, took her away from the pressures of her job and allowed her to just be a woman.
The sex was hot and raunchy whenever they were together, and he enjoyed every minute. Funny thing was, he had come to realize he wanted something more. He wanted to make slow, languid love to her for hours on end. He wanted to take his time, savor her luscious little body, pleasure her in a dozen different ways.
His blood stirred and he began to go hard. Damn, he wanted her.
The phone rang.
Gabe released a breath, grateful for the distraction. Switching off the TV, which he wasn’t really watching, he plucked his cell phone off the table next to his chair and flipped it open.
He recognized the incoming numbers, then heard his brother’s familiar voice.
“Hey, bro,” Dev said.
Gabe smiled into the receiver. “I’ve been hoping to hear from you.”
“Took me longer than I thought to come up with anything useful. Like you said, you don’t really have that many enemies.”
“Unfortunately, all I need is one—if he’s willing to burn down buildings to get to me.”
“All too true, my friend.”
“So what have you got?”
“Couple of things. I’ve got a buddy down South, a former ranger. Does a little work for me now and then. He checked out Rachael and Clayton Sanders. Jackson was right. Rachael’s back in Dallas and her husband isn’t happy about it.”
“Where is he?”
“That’s the thing. No one seems to know. After he left the marines, he and Rachael stayed in Jacksonville. Her family was there. She didn’t want to leave, so Clayton stayed to please her. He got a job working as a car salesman but he hated it. They fought a lot. Rachael finally left him. She filed for divorce and moved to Dallas three months ago. She’s been working as a secretary at Infinity Bank.”
“No kids?”
“Apparently she didn’t want any. It was one of the things they fought about.”
“So what happened to Clay?”
“Like I said, no one seems to know. He’s not in Jacksonville and nobody knows where he went. He just disappeared.”
Not good, Gabe thought. “So you’re thinking he might have followed Rachael to Dallas.”
“Could be. And if he’s there, he might think you had something to do with his wife’s decision to leave him.”
Gabe shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense. I haven’t talked to Rachael since I left the Marine Corps. That was ten years ago.”
“People have a way of altering their memories of the past. Before she married Sanders, she was in love with you, right?”
“I guess she thought so. I was mostly impressed by how beautiful she was, her great body, and how the guys all panted after her. I think we both knew it wouldn’t last.”
“Maybe over the years she imagined that if things had been different it might have worked out.”
“Rachael was dominated by her parents. She couldn’t bear the thought of being apart from them. She was content to stay in Jacksonville and just get by. I had things I wanted to do.”
“That the reason the two of you split?”
“Pretty much. I suppose if I’d loved her I would have stayed.”
Silence fell over the phone.
“What is it?”
“She stayed because of her parents. Maybe something happened between her and her folks that drove her away. Let me look into it, see what I can find out. I’ll get back to you as soon as I know anything.”
Gabe hung up, thinking about Rachael. At twenty-one, she’d been unbelievably beautiful, with long, honey-blond hair and golden-brown eyes. And a figure that made men hard just watching her walk by. Gabe and Clay had both been in lust at first sight. But Clay wasn’t the man she wanted. At least not as much as she wanted Gabe.
He walked over to the kitchen counter and picked up his keys. He had crews working overtime at the Towers and also at McKinney Court. He had planned to spend the morning with Mattie but she wasn’t there. He could check on the work being done then drive over to Rachael’s house on Dublin Street, the address Jackson had given him.
He probably shouldn’t go. If Clay thought his wife was in Dallas because of Gabe, his visit would only make things worse.
On the other hand, if Sanders was responsible for the fires, Gabe needed to know.
Before he set another one.
Mattie drove over to Tracy’s late Sunday morning. She always called first, since her friend might well be entertaining one of her male friends. But Tracy was home alone and she didn’t sound happy about it.
“Come on in,” Tracy said when Mattie arrived, pulling open the door and inviting her inside. “Want a cup of coffee?”
“I’d love one.” Mattie followed her over to the coffeemaker in the kitchen and waited while Tracy poured her a cup. She added some of the Coffee-mate Tracy set on the counter then took a sip. “Not bad.”
“I just made it. I slept in a little. I’m working today. I’ve got an open house at one o’clock.” Tracy freshened her own cup. “Anything new with Angel?”
“The doctors are optimistic. He’s survived the worst of it, but he’s still in a coma. They have no idea how long it might be before he wakes up.”
“Everyone’s pulling for him. That’s got to help.”
“I hope so.”
Tracy studied her a moment. She cocked a sleek blond eyebrow. “So…how did your evening go with Gabe?”
Mattie felt the heat rising to her cheeks. “You first. How was your dinner with Sam?”
Tracy shrugged. “We had fun. Yesterday he took me motorcycle riding. We had a terrific time.” She sipped her coffee. “We still haven’t had sex.”
“You’re kidding.”
Tracy blew out a breath, moving the blond bangs over her forehead. “I’m not kidding and it’s driving me crazy.”
Mattie sat down at the kitchen table, cradling her mug in her hand. “So why didn’t you invite someone over last night to take his place?”
A tiny line appeared between Tracy’s eyebrows. “You must really think I’m terrible.”
“You live by your own rules, Tracy. You always have.”
Tracy sat down across from her. “It just didn’t seem right, you know? Bringing someone else over just because Sam wouldn’t compromise his principles. Besides, Sam’s the man I want. I’m not interested in sleeping with somebody else.”
“This is beginning to really get interesting.”
“I know and it’s scary.”
Mattie thought of the evening she’d spent with Gabe and the secrets she had told him. “I know what you mean.”
Tracy leaned forward, mug in hand. “All right, let’s hear it.”
Mattie sighed. “Gabe’s different, Tracy. Great in bed. Totally amazing, in fact. But it isn’t just that.” She studied the liquid in her cup. “I told him about Mark and the baby.”
“You did? What did he say?”
“He said if something happened and he got me pregnant, he wouldn’t let me down.”
Tracy scoffed. “He’s a man. They always let you down.”
“I know.” Mattie sipped her coffee and tried to convince herself that Gabe was just like the rest of the men she had known. Somehow the notion didn’t feel right.
“He’s calling me tonight,” Mattie said. “We’re getting together tomorrow to figure out our next move.”
“So you’re still playing detective.”
“I’m not giving up without doing my best to find this guy.”
“Just be careful.” Tracy pinned her with a look. “And I don’t just mean asking questions about the fires.”
She was talking about Gabe, and Mattie’s stomach twisted. She set her mug down on the table with a shaky hand. By the time she took another sip, her coffee had gone cold.
Gabe pulled his truck up in front of the small wood-framed house on Dublin Street. It was fairly nondescript, single-story, gray with white-painted shutters and a covered porch out in front.
As he reached for the door handle, his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open.
“It’s me,” Dev said. “Rachael’s parents were killed about six months ago in a car crash. Aside from Clay, she had no reason to stay in Jacksonville.”
“How did you get the info so fast?”
“The internet is an amazing thing. But even my buddy hasn’t been able to find out why Rachael picked Dallas.”
“I’m about to find out. I’m sitting in front of her house right now.”
“Be careful, bro.”
“Will do.”
“Listen, I’ll have more for you in a day or two. I’m still checking the rest of the names on your list.”
“Thanks.” Gabe signed off and closed the phone. Wondering if he’d find Rachael at home, he stepped down from the truck and made his way up the sidewalk, climbed the wooden steps and knocked on the door.
When the door swung open, a vision from his past stood in front of him.
He managed to smile. “Hello, Rachael.”
“Gabe! What on earth are you doing here?” She looked like a woman now instead of a girl, with a few fine lines here and there, but she was still beautiful. She wore white shorts and a pink midriff top and her skin was perfectly tanned.
She opened the door a little wider. “It’s good to see you. Come on in.”
He nearly declined. He didn’t want to cause problems for Rachael, and if Clay had really gone off the deep end, there was no telling what he might do.
She took his arm, ending his reluctance, and urged him into the living room. “I’m still unpacking,” she explained, tipping her head toward a couple of pictures she hadn’t yet hung. “But it’s beginning to feel like home.”
“It’s nice.” The house was modestly decorated, but clean and welcoming, with an overstuffed beige sofa and chair and an old wooden rocker set near a fireplace bordered with painted tiles. He sat down on the sofa and Rachael sat down in the chair.
“So how did you know where to find me?” she asked.