Against Me (Cedar Tree Book 3) (19 page)

"Careful?"

"I promise," I tell him, seeing it is a bit of a struggle for him to let me go on this two-block drive by myself. With a hard kiss on my lips and a knock on the frame, he turns and disappears through the doors, leaving me truly on my own, and mobile. A grin spreads over my face when I think of all the possibilities, but although I'm sure driving to Vegas by myself at the spur of the moment is not the greatest of ideas, I can't say it didn't enter my mind. Instead I turn toward the clinic.

"I want to try you without a harness today," are Kendra's first words when I come in and they stop me in my tracks. A feeling of panic hits me at the thought of not being secured in that contraption should I not be able to hold myself up, and I guess it shows on my face, because Kendra chuckles, "You'll do fine."

Yeah well, I'm not so sure about that.

"Right now your biggest issue with moving forward is your brain."

I roll my eyes, because she really isn't telling me anything new. "Ya think?" slips out before I can get my lips pressed together hard enough, but it only makes her laugh harder.

"What I mean is that aside from the obvious, at this point your mind is boycotting your progress because it no longer has faith in your body's abilities―
you
no longer have faith in your body's abilities. We're gonna change that today."

Setting me up at one end of the parallel bars where usually she would hook me up, she now simply says, "roll as close in between the bars as you can get and lock your wheels. Then stand up and place your hands on the bars, and keep reminding yourself that no matter what happens, your upper body strength is enough to hold you up. Because it is, Katie," She smiles at me.

I do as she says and feel a brief moment of panic when I feel her moving the chair away from behind me, but then her arm slides around my waist loosely and she says, "ok, now we walk." And one foot at a time, with a little nudge from Kendra behind me, I manage to shuffle my first independent steps. It feels fucking phenomenal.

"I'm sorry, little one, things are running a bit long here - do you want to come and sit in?" Caleb calls just as I'm getting ready to head over and pick him up.

I'm exhausted and elated from the best ever physio session I've had and the last thing I want right now is sit in on a case meeting with the guys.

"I think I'll pass, I'm really tired. Can you get a ride with Gus and I'll meet you at home?"

The brief silence on the other side lets me know it wouldn't have been Caleb's preference, but he comes back with, "Sure, go on and be careful please."

"I will. See you at home."

Making my way out of Cortez, I am trying to keep close track of my surroundings, but my mind drifts to this morning's session. I catch myself daydreaming about things I'd been afraid to think about. A future that would have Caleb and I living at the barn when it's finished. My chair doesn't feature in my fantasies. I'm able to walk without issue and that silly dog seems to be around everywhere. Another thing I seem to be stuck on is the way my hand keeps lingering on my stomach and the realization I am envisioning myself pregnant snaps me out of my daydream. That, and the jolt of an impact that has my head snapping back and my hands almost coming off the steering wheel.

What the fuck?

A quick look in the rear-view mirror reveals a large silver pick up – a Dodge Ram or something – gaining on me for another hit and my hand goes to hit the hand's free unit Caleb's made sure the SUV was outfitted with. Scanning the road ahead for room to evade, I can hear the phone ring and pray Caleb hasn't turned it on silent. Just as I hear his "Hey sweets," another impact almost has me knocked sideways. This time they tried to fishtail my little Rav, and each time my hands slide off the controls and I lose speed. Fuck.

"Caleb–"

"What the fuck is going on!"

"Silver Dodge Ram trying to get me off the road. Just turned onto County Road G and they popped up behind me. Gonna find a turn."

"No!" Caleb bellows, "don't turn off the main road, whatever you do. Gus has Neil on the other line, hang in. Keep heading to town, and drive full width of the road, alternate your speed to keep them off track. Do it!"

I see the Dodge coming in for another hit and brace myself for the next impact, but it doesn't come. Instead the truck starts inching up beside me and I kick up on the gas trying frantically to stay ahead.

"Coming alongside me now," I report, short of breath with all the adrenaline coursing through my blood.

"Don't you let them, dammit! Whatever you do, stay ahead. Veer into them if you have to."

I vaguely register Caleb's heavy breathing, as if he is on the move, when the rear window implodes, showering me in glass. Fuck, game change.

"Shooting, Caleb. They've shot out my rear window. I can't fucking shoot back and drive at the same damn time!" I yell frustrated beyond reason.

"Jesus, Katie. Move that car all over the goddamn road. Neil is coming toward you and we're hauling ass in behind you, but girl, you better fucking keep yourself standing until we get there."

Another shot is fired; this one hits the dash on the passenger side. Holy hell I'm in deep shit.

"Tell me you're ok, little one. I hear the shot, I don't hear you, and I don't fucking like it! Talk to me."

"Sorry, dashboard beside me. Other than glass, no holes yet. Two in the cab of the truck, one driving the other shooting. Fucker is half out of the cab taking aim. Hang on–" I can see him take aim and swerve the Rav the width of the road, but apparently he counted on that manoeuvre because I can feel the burn of the bullet before I even hear the sound.

The moment I get the call from Katie I'm running, Gus and Joe close behind without asking. Gus points to his Yukon once we get to the parking lot and I realize I'm without wheels. He is on the phone with Neil, having picked up enough from my conversation, which I threw to speakerphone as soon as I figured she was in trouble. I am hitting myself over the head for not getting the fuck out of here when she was done her physio. Not that nothing would've happened, but at least one of us would've had our hands free.

"They're fucking shooting at her," I tell Gus when I hear the unmistakable sounds over the phone.

"Flooring it, buddy. Joe is clearing the road."

Joe is ahead in his official truck with lights and sirens going and is literally blasting through intersections and in no time has us out of Cortez and turning onto County Road G. Then I hear another shot, a muffled noise that could be Katie and the next thing I know the connection is dead.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I've lost her."

Panic grabs at my chest and hampers my breathing and I let out my frustrations in a loud roar.

"Neil's got a visual," Gus says, touching the Bluetooth in his ear, "Rav's on the side of the road, no sign of the truck."

"Katie?"

"Hold on. We're coming up on them now."

"No truck... we didn't pass any truck. Where the fuck did they go?" I'm looking over my shoulder to see if we've missed anything but the road is clear.

"There's Neil's truck and the Toyota," Gus points ahead of us where I can see Neil stalking around Katie's ride and Joe stopping on the other side of her car. No sign of Katie. Fuck. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. No sooner has Gus pulled up on the other side of the vehicles or I'm out the door and running. Neil is yelling something at me but I'm not registering a word he says, I need to see for myself. Yanking open the driver side door I let out the breath I've been holding on a hiss when I see Katie slumped in the seat with blood running down the side of her head, her eyes closed. Like the impact of a truck, images of a scene in the hallway of Emma's house almost a year ago slam my memory and all I can think is;
too late.
My knees buckle and I drop to the asphalt, a foreign sound ripping from my chest and rolling out my mouth unchecked. I'm busy emptying my stomach beside me, deaf and blind to my surroundings until I feel a hand clamp on my shoulder and hear Gus's voice in my ear.

"F
uck. Hey buddy. Snap out of it. She's ok. Caleb, man, it's a scrape. She'll be ok."

Slowly registering his words I look up to see Gus nodding in Katie's direction, and when my eyes follow I see her sitting with a shirt pressed against her head, looking at me with concerned eyes. Next thing I notice is Neil, shirtless, in the passenger seat beside her with his hand on her shoulder and a feeling of a different kind starts rolling in my gut.

"Out." I bark at him, up and at Katie's side in a flash. When he looks at me confused, I hear Gus snickering behind me.

"Better move your ass, Neil. Let's give them some space."

Katie makes room when I get in the front seat with her and then proceed to pull her on my lap. Her arms snake around my neck, her hands rifling through my hair.

"You're crushing me, honey."

I can't speak; I just hold her and breathe her in. Not sure why I lost it out there. The only thing I am aware of is that I am holding my entire world in my arms, so I tell her, "Something were to happen to you – to the life we may have made together –
Yázhí
, I don't think I'd be able to survive. I've had to stand by helpless when cancer took my sister before my eyes. I was too late to protect my mother. But losing you would end me."

My emotions are raw. Seeing this strong and contained man come completely undone before me, hearing him exposed and vulnerable is ripping me open. All the reservations I've been hanging on to fly out the window. The harrowing experience I've just escaped and Caleb's reminders when he talks about his sister and mother, hammer home how fleeting life is. You'd think I would've learned that lesson already, but this man clinging to me like he needs me to breathe deserves all of me.

Placing my hands on either side of his face I force him to look at me, and the pure emotion I see there encourages me.

"I've fought it, but it's so much stronger than I am. I've wanted it but been so afraid of giving in to it―to give myself so completely. I've never had these deep feelings and they scare me to death, 'cause they're so intense; so all consuming. I've been afraid to get lost in them, lost in you. But I'm done. Done being afraid to give you what you deserve. Hell, what I deserve. I love you, Caleb, so fucking much it hurts sometimes."

If eyes are the mirrors of the soul then Caleb is showing me everything in his right now. No words, but the deep pools of hazel and dark gold speak volumes. The arms around me tighten and his head disappears in my neck where he mumbles quietly, "Means everything. You've just given me everything."

"Hate to break this up, guys, but we have a situation here?" Joe stands in the open passenger side door, trying not to look at us but eying the blown out back window and the holes in my dashboard. With that reminder, Caleb snaps into action and carefully pulls away Neil's shirt that is half-stuck to the gash in my head from the bullet that grazed it.

"Shit baby, I'm sorry. You'll probably need some medical attention for that. Where else are you hurt?" He gently probes my head and my upper back, which is a bit sore.