Against All Odds - Angel's Story: Against All Odds (Destiny Series Book 4) (38 page)

“Thank you,” I say turning to her. She wraps her arms around me. “We’ll see her when you’re done. I’m sorry about the baby,” she whispers. A lump rises to my throat. I’m sorry too. I’m sorry about so much. I’ll never forgive myself for this, for any of it.

My heart is heavy as I follow the nurse towards her room. “The doctor will be in shortly to talk to her,” she says before walking away.

I have a lump the size of a golf ball lodged in my throat when I see her. Memories of Pops laying in ICU are still fresh in my mind. Now I have to deal with this as well. The two people I love more than life. It’s so unfair. So fucked up.

Her eyes are closed when I approach the bed. She’s still awfully pale. My hand moves under the sheet that covers her. I lace my finger through hers, causing her eyelids to flutter open.

“Hi, beautiful,” I say as my free hand reaches out. I run the back of my hand down the side of her face.

“Hi.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired, and sore.”

“The nurse said the doctor will be in shortly to talk to you. I’ll ask him if he can give you something for the pain.”

“Thanks,” she says, giving me a sad smile. “Has the doctor talked to you yet?”

“Yes briefly. Your parents, Pops and Dana are all outside.”

“My parents are here?”

“Yes. I called them. I thought they’d want to know.”

“I guess,” she says.

“Did the doctor say anything about the baby?” Fuck, she doesn’t know. I hate to be the one to break it to her, but I’d rather it came from me than a stranger.

“Yes. Yes he did,” I say, tears rising to my eyes. “I’m sorry, sweet-cheeks.” Her eyes close and her bottom lip starts to quiver. Leaning down, I gently pull her into my arms. I hold her tightly against me, as she sobs into my chest.

••••

I stayed with her until the doctor came in to talk to us, then I let her parents see her. Dana went in next, followed by Pops. After they’d seen her, the three of them headed home. It was close to midnight when the nurses told her parents and I that we’d have to leave so she could get some rest.

As the night wore on, she regressed further into herself. It worried me. Of course she’d be tired and emotional after everything that happened, but on the way to the car park, Brooke even voiced her concerns.

I wanted to stay with her, but the nurses would not allow it. Apparently, that’s the rules in ICU. Stupid fucking rules if you ask me. She shouldn’t be left alone at a time like this.

••••

I was back at the hospital by 7:00 a.m. I thought about bringing her flowers, even though I’ll admit I’m not that type of guy, but for her I would be. I’d be anything she wanted me to be. Funny how love fucks you over like that.

Remembering back to the day when we first said we were boyfriend and girlfriend, I told her candy and flowers weren’t my thing. She told me flowers were overrated. “They die within a few days. Give me a potted plant any day, then you can enjoy it forever,” were her words. So, that’s what I did. I stopped off at a nursery and got her a plant.

White daisies. Don’t ask me why I picked them out of all the ones on offer, but they stood out for some reason. “I love daisies,” the lady at the checkout said. “Are they for someone special?”

“My girlfriend. She’s in the hospital.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. You chose well then. Daisies symbolise innocence, purity and love.” Her words bring a smile to my face. My sweet-cheeks is all that and so much more.

I’m glad I brought Pops’ truck today. It would’ve been hard to ride with these on my bike. I placed the plant on the front seat beside me, pulling the letter I wrote her last night out of my pocket, sliding it into the bow that’s tied around the pot.

I couldn’t sleep when I got home. My mind was in overdrive. Not only was I worried about her, I was worried about us. Things have been strained between us for days now. There’s so much I want to say to her.

I’ve never really been good with expressing my feelings, especially verbally. So, last night I wrote everything down on paper. Poured my fucking heart out I did. Again that’s not something I ever thought I’d do, but I needed her to know how I really feel. Losing her over this isn’t an option I want to face.
Fucking ever!
Together we’ve already lost enough.

••••

When I walk into her room, I smile when I see her sitting up in bed gazing out the window. Maybe a good night’s sleep has helped. I missed not having her in my arms last night.

She appears to be lost in thought, and doesn’t notice I’ve entered. “Morning,” I say as I approach the bed.

Her head turns in my direction. I’m hoping to see her face light up, like it usually does when she sees me. I can’t describe the disappointment I feel when it doesn’t. She has the same look she had when I left her last night—broken.

Her eyes move down to the plant in my hand. “You bought me flowers? I thought you said you weren’t a flowers type of guy.”

“I’m not. For you though, I’d be anything.” Her eyes meet mine, but her face is expressionless.

“I remember you said flowers were overrated, so I bought you a potted plant instead.” Her lips turn up in the briefest smile, but it fades just as quickly as it came.

“Thank you,” she whispers when I pass it to her. I lean down and place my lips on hers. It’s only a peck, but I’m grateful she doesn’t turn away.

“How are you feeling today?” She shrugs, but doesn’t answer. I watch as she stares down into the flowers seated on her lap. When tears rise to her eyes, her head turns away from me. She looks out the window again. My heart hurts for her. I wish I had the words to comfort her. Somehow, I don’t think words would be enough.

I take the flowers from her, placing them on the bedside table. “Come here,” I say, pulling her into my arms. She lets me hold her while she softly cries. I have to fight to hold my tears in.

••••

Her parents turned up around 8:00 a.m. Brooke was lovely. Logan didn’t say much. I kind of expected that. Thankfully, he had the tact not to start anything in front of Angel. Her breakfast arrived before her parents got here, but she wouldn’t eat any of it. Her mum brought some things in for her as well, same thing.

Lunch arrived and again nothing. I even tried to spoon-feed her, but she wouldn’t have a bar of it. As the day wore on, so did my anxiety. I could also tell her parents were worried about her. Everything is so fresh, I hope as the days and weeks progress, so does she.

The three of us stayed until the nurses kicked us out later that night. We were lucky to get a handful of words out of her the whole day. Most of the time she slept, or pretended to sleep. I’m not sure. We all got the feeling she didn’t really want us there.

••••

Three more days pass before she’s released from the hospital. Not much has changed in that time. I finally got to meet her brother, CJ. He turned up yesterday. Apparently he’d been out of state with his band, but flew here as soon as he could. I like him. He seems pretty cool.

The four of us travel with her back to the house. Things still aren’t good between us. She lets me peck her hello and goodbye. She even let me hold her hand in the car on the way home, but that’s about it. Fuck I miss her. It’s a strange feeling. She’s right here in front of me, but I feel like she’s a million miles away.

When we arrive back at the house, we all notice her hesitate before walking inside. When she does, her eyes went straight to the floor where I’d found her after she fell. She stares at the spot for a few seconds, before hurrying away and making a beeline for her bedroom.

Thankfully her mum must’ve cleaned up the pool of blood that was left behind when the paramedics lifted her onto the stretcher. That would’ve made this moment so much worse.

Stepping forward, I go to follow her. Brooke grabs my hand. “Let me,” she says.

“Okay,” I reply. I’m kind of grateful. As much as I want to go to her, I’m unsure of what to say. I’ve tried everything the past few days; nothing seems to help. Brooke’s not only female, she’s her mum. She may have the words to help. The ones I can’t seem to find.

Walking out onto the back deck, I place the daisies I bought in a sunny spot. The letter I wrote is missing, but I have no idea if she’s read it.

“Wanna beer?” CJ asks from behind me. Turning around, I take the one he’s holding out to me.

“Sure, why not. Thanks.” After the last few days I’ve had, I could fucking use a drink.

••••

Angel

I want to be any place but here. As much as I hate hospitals, I’d even go back there if I could. My home, the one that was once my sanctuary, is no more. I don’t want to be reminded of what happened every time I walk in that room. Reminding me of what I’ve lost.

I’m empty inside. I hate Riley for what he’s done. I’ve never hated anyone before in my life, but I do now. I
hate
him with a vengeance. I
wish
he was the one who was dead, instead of my baby. I
wish
I never stopped Chase from beating the life out of him the night he attacked me. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it, because that’s exactly how I feel.

There’s a knock on my door. I don’t even bother to look up when it opens. I don’t want to talk or see anyone. “Can I come in, baby?” I hear my mum ask.

I’m kind of glad it’s not Chase. My feelings for him haven’t changed, not one bit. I still love him with everything I have. I’m just not capable of giving him what he needs right now. I feel horrible for the way I’ve been with him, but I can’t help it.

“Can I get you anything?” she asks, sitting down beside me on the edge of the bed.

“No, thanks.”

“I’d love it if you’d eat something. I’ll make your favourite pasta dish.”

“No, thanks.” I hear her sigh. Nobody understands what I’m going through right now.

“I know things are hard, sweetie, but not eating isn’t going to help. You need to keep your strength up.”

“I don’t care about my strength,” I whisper.

“You may not care, but I do. I can’t sit by and watch you fade away. I’m sorry, but as your mother I can’t do that.”

“I just want to be left alone.”

“Well that’s not going to happen either. You’ve got three people out there, as well as me, who love you. We want to be here for you, to help you through this.”

“Nobody can help me. Nobody knows what I’m feeling right now.”

“I do.”

“No you don’t. Not really.”

“I bet I do. I’ve been where you are. I lost a baby many years ago.”

“You did?” Another family secret I knew nothing about. I wonder what else they’re keeping from me.

“I did. My situation was very similar to yours.”

“How?”

“Well, it was when I was married to Chase’s father. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. The night I lost the baby was the same night I found out he was having an affair with Chase’s mother.”

“Did he do something to make you lose the baby?”

“No. It was nothing like that. I actually had an ectopic pregnancy. I collapsed. I was haemorrhaging, just like you were. It was your dad who found me and took me to the hospital. He saved my life.”

“Wow.”

“In some ways it was the best and worst day of my life. I lost a baby I never got to hold or love the way I love you and CJ, but I got to meet your dad. For that I’ll be forever thankful.” Her hand reaches for mine. “I do know what you’re going through, sweetie. I also know it’s something you’ll never forget, but I promise you with time it will get easier.”

“I just feel so empty. One minute I had a life growing inside me, the next minute it was gone. I have nothing. No proof my baby even existed.”

My mum stands and makes her way to my dresser. “Your baby will always be alive in your heart,” she says, “but I do have this. I found it in the pocket of your jeans when I brought your clothes home from the hospital.”