Against All Odds (20 page)

I flinch at Gray’s words. Cooper’s fists turn white. He’s trying to hold back. They’re both the same size, so a battle between them would be horrific.

“You’re out of line,
bro
,” Cooper retorts, like the bubbling roar of a volcano about to erupt. “You’ve gotten yourself way too involved in my life, and I’m warning you to step the fuck back. I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but this is none of your goddamn business. Get the fuck out of my face, or I’ll be forced to do something that
she
shouldn’t be around to see.”

“Do you want to test that theory?” Gray taunts. “Because at this point, I think Kylie’s seen more than enough shit at your hands. Her watching me kick your ass would just be another layer on the fucking disaster you two call marriage.”

Panic encases me. I need to stop this, but I’m trapped by their show of utter fury. I’ve never, not once, seen them treat each other like this. In all the years I’ve know them, they’ve been close—as close as brothers. A thought slams me. I’m contaminated, toxic to those around me. The poison I emit slowly kills everything. I’m a virus that’s impossible to get rid of.

New tears well in my tired eyes. I need to make this stop. This hate. This anger. This animosity that’s destroying
our
lives. I walk toward them, trying to keep my head up. My chest aches from the impact of my heart beating furiously against it. I place one hand on each of their chests. I squeeze my eyes and use everything in me to whisper, a painful plea.

“Don’t do this. Please don’t do this. I’m not worth it.” My lips quiver as tears roll down my face. Self-loathing, thick and heavy, slithers through me like a snake. “I want all of this to stop. I don’t know how to fix everything.” I turn toward Cooper. “I’ve been praying you’d come get me. That you would fight for me, but acting like this is wrong. He doesn’t deserve your anger. I came to his house, and I chose to stay. I want you to go home. I’ll call you tomorrow, and we can figure out our next step.” I turn to Gray. “I’m packing a bag, Gray, and going to a hotel. I never wanted to hurt you. God, I’ve never want to cause either of you pain, but I have, I am, and I need time away from both of you.”

I drop my hands from their chests. I feel devastated that I’ve ruined a friendship that has been a staple in their lives since they were little boys. The way we function, the way our relationships are working, is not normal. Something has to give, and it has to be me. I walk quickly down the hall to the guest room. I grab a bag and stuff my things in it. I need to get out of here. I hear footsteps on the wood floors and brace myself. I know who it is. He wouldn’t let me go without a fight.

“Kylie, don’t leave.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I turn toward the desperate voice, meeting his distraught eyes.
My beautiful Gray.
I’ve only brought him trouble. I can’t do it anymore. I have to figure out how to fix my life without bringing others down with me.

“I’m sorry, Gray,” I whisper, my throat tight. “I have to figure this out on my own. I need to fix my marriage, and I can’t do that while being around you all of the time. It’s killing him, Grayson. We might have an unconventional marriage, but I love him. I don’t know what’s happening between you and me, but I’ve told you, time and time again, it can’t happen.”

Gray sags against the door frame, closing his eyes. I see the defeat in how he holds himself. I want to wrap my arms around him, but we need distance. My marriage is the only thing I care about, and I’m going to fight for it.

He takes a breath, pushes off the door, and looks at me. “Just so you know, what happened tonight changes nothing for me. I’m here for you always. I know you love him. I get that. I’ve been there with you guys from the start. I understand how you used to be. But I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore. If you need me, I’m here anytime, any day.” With that, he turns and leaves.

The moment he’s gone, I feel a small amount of peace. I need to get out of here. It’s time to assess my relationships with Grayson and Cooper. God, it’s time to assess my relationship with myself.

I zip up my bag and head for the front door. I see Cooper sitting on the floor with his head between his knees, and my heart breaks for him. How long have I been silently begging him to come get me? Too long. Tonight it was too much. I squat down, putting my hands on his face. When he looks at me, I smile and drag my fingers across his cheeks.

“I’ll call you in the morning, and we can schedule that dinner,” I say. “I’m going to the W, and I’m staying for a couple nights. I need you to think about us. We can’t keep this up. We really can’t. At some point, something has to give. I’m not sure how we can fix us, but I hope you can find a way to fight for me.” I kiss his forehead. “I love you, always.”

I move to get up, but he grips my face. He looks in my eyes and presses his lips roughly to mine. After a second we both pull back, breathing heavily. He says nothing, but behind his stare I see so much.

The next time we see each other, we’re going to have a make it or break it conversation. I hope with everything in me that it’s the former.

Three days later…

I pull up to the front of my house, park the car, and sigh with relief. Home. I’m finally home after three days of staying at a hotel. I’m meeting Cooper at eight at an Italian restaurant around the corner. He said he was heading there straight from the office. I’m nervous but hopeful. Dinner is a step in the right direction, and maybe with a couple more steps we’ll find our way. I grab my overnight bag and purse and head for the front door.

Once inside, I drop everything and peer around. It looks the same. It’s quiet, clean, and vacant. I have an hour to catch a quick shower and get dressed. I slip off my shoes and pad gently against the cool wood floors to the kitchen. The stainless steel appliances glisten, the country sink is void of dishes, and the white cabinets are spotless. I open the fridge to see if there’s anything to snack on, but it’s empty. A sharp pang hits me in the chest. I missed my house. It’s cold and lonely, but it’s my home.

I head down the hall, flipping the lights as I go. At my bedroom door, I pause and take a breath, knowing that once I open the door, I’ll be a mess. It’s been weeks since I’ve been back, and my heart is aching. I clutch the handle, swing it open, and see the room is absolutely pristine. Not one thing is out of place. The white duvet is unruffled and impeccably straight. I swallow, wondering where he’s been sleeping. I walk over to the bed and run my hand across the smooth banister. My chest tightens as I think of the moment we picked it.

“Cooper, this is it,” I squeal, looking at the most perfect piece of furniture I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

“This?” he asks. “It’s got curtains on it.”

I roll my eyes, smacking him playfully in the stomach. “It’s a canopy bed, Coop. The curtains are romantic.” I smile sexily.

“Well shit, in that case, let’s wrap this bitch up.” His face is serious but playful.

I shake my head and smile at my future husband. I can always win him over with sex. Cooper knows if he romances me, he’s got me all night long. I wrap my arms around his neck. He looks at me, his green eyes promising love. My heart warms, and the world feels perfect. It feels right.

“I’m going to make you a happy man, baby,” I promise. “We’re going to christen that bed. Repeatedly. Then we’re going to make babies in that bed. We’re going to bring them home and watch them sleep between us. I promise, it’s going to be the best purchase you’ve ever made.” I lay a gentle kiss on his mouth.

He tugs me closer, extending the kiss, and smiles against my lips. “I’m already the happiest man in the world. You just breathing makes me happy, but you can definitely have the bed.”

I blink rapidly, tears in my eyes. We were happy at one time, and he did love me. We can get back there; I know it. I just have to dig deep and find him again. Reignite the spark, the flame that was put out with our tears over Kayla.

I sit on my bed, running my fingers over the smooth, silky comforter. I have fifty minutes left. My eyes flick to the picture next to the clock, and I wince. I grab the cold metal frame and stare at it, my throat clogging. The picture was taken on our wedding day. I’m smiling up at Coop, and he’s peering down at me affectionately. I close my eyes and feel the bubble of happiness that enclosed us that day. We felt like we were on top of the world.

“Naïve. We were so naïve,” I whisper.

I set down the frame and sigh, trying to clear the fog around me. I need to get moving. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I undress quickly and step in, letting the warmth soothe my nerves. The water soaks through my hair, and my thoughts drift to Cooper. It’s been so long since we made love that I’m starting to forget little details of his body, the way he felt against me. I hate that. He was always a tender lover. One that gave before he received.

I picture him behind me, his warm chest brushing against my back, sending shivers across my body. His hands come over my shoulders, dragging across my breasts, down to my nipples. I draw in a breath and rub my thighs together, my core beginning to ache. God, I want him so badly I can feel him around me. My body cries for his touch. I’d do anything to feel his calloused fingers rub against me, to feel his tongue caress my neck.

I groan, imagining his hand sliding down my stomach and landing on my pelvis, enticing me. I tremble as my hand runs the same path. I begin to breathe raggedly as I see him behind me, his hard cock rubbing against my ass. He reaches for my pussy as my fingers find my clit, and I moan. His large fingers circle and love me. A rush of tingles spreads from my heavy breasts to my sex. I see Cooper rocking against me, biting my neck, marking me. He thrusts two fingers deep inside me. My fingers do the same, and I moan for him. I feel my climax coming, spiraling through me.

Oh God…
Right as I’m about to tip over, I’m overtaken by a vision of piercing green eyes and the bleeding look of betrayal they wore the night everything between us changed. I tense, removing my fingers quickly, and slide to the floor.

My phone pings on the dining room table, signaling an incoming message. The sound pierces me, causing a painful tremor to shoot from my toes all the way up my body. A feeling of dread smothers me as my heart rate increases and my hands become clammy. I know who the message is from. The reality of what I’m doing and the lines I’m crossing are becoming real.

“God, what am I doing?” I need to answer it before Cooper comes in. I walk toward my phone while anxiety sweeps through me, making it hard to take a breath. I grab the phone, swallowing the guilt I feel for even thinking about something like this.

Jesus, I’m disgusting.

I hold my phone and close my eyes as I tell myself I can do this. I need to do this.

After I’ve composed myself, I glance at the display. My stomach drops, and my body heaves. I take the phone with me, rush to the sink to throw up as sweat drips down my brow.

Oh God. I can’t do this. I’m scared to death, but I’m desperate for something to remove this ache that’s attached to the inside of my body. I feel as if I’m drowning, and I’m desperate to find an out. I rinse my mouth, spitting out the putrid taste of bile that’s clawed its way up my throat. I clutch the phone, the sides etching marks into my hands. The pain causes some of my fear to vanish. I take a few steadying, deep breaths and read the email.

Hey, Kylie, I can’t wait to see you. Meet me tonight at the Courtside Bar and Grill on 4
th
. I have a room booked at the W. We can go there after. Can’t wait to take care of you.

Wesley Marx

Fuck. I can’t do this. I throw the phone on the counter and lean over the sink, my body rebelling at the thought of another man. I throw up till nothing is left in my stomach, and I splash some water on my face. I’m disgusted that I’ve set up a meeting with a stranger.

I hear footsteps coming down the hall and hold onto the countertop, trying to keep myself upright. I’m so panicked and guilty I feel as though I’m going to pass out. My heart races like a freight train, and my body cramps from stress. The steps stop, and the energy in the kitchen becomes tense. I know he’s behind me, wondering what’s going on. Fear slithers down my spine and around my throat, constricting my airway. I try to hold the panic at bay by closing my eyes tightly and counting to ten. I need to relax.